As Equals
by RedandBlackBeads
Summary: ShinRa, the dominant race, has controlled Human Kind for centuries. But now, a ShinRa raised among Humans as one of their own is ready to fight for his life, and the lives of those that are thought to be nothing more than animals. LifeFic, ZackxCloud, AU
1. Part One, Chapter One

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

_**Genre: **_Romance, Angst (Third Genre: Drama)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Blurb: **Very AU, LifeFic, eventual light Yaoi. Cloud Strife: a ShinRa, though he never wanted to be; a Savior, though he never planned to be; a Friend, though he always wished to be so much more. Uncover truths, lies, hidden pasts, romance, rebellions and more in "As Equals."

**Extended Blurb: **Very AU, LifeFic, eventual light Yaoi. ShinRa are the people that protect the Planet. They are the reason we exist. They are the reason we survive. At least, that's what _we_ think. When a teenaged girl learns the truth, watch as she fights against a commonly held belief, and gives rise to the greatest Hero of our time; Cloud Strife. When Cloud, sheltered and protected his entire life, is thrown into reality, watch as he struggles to keep his head in a world determined to control him. When the daughter of a famous businessman is put under threat from the terrorist group, Avalanche, watch as her four protectors follow to the ends of the world, uncovering plots and braving danger to save themselves, and the Planet. When hearts are won, and in turn broken, watch as they fight to survive in a time that seems fit only to destroy them. _"Turks are taught to _never_ care. SOLDIERs are taught to care, yes - yet nothing more. But I ... _I _was taught to _love_. That, Zack, is what makes us _different_."_

**Notice: **Ages and relationships have been tweaked, in some cases _**very**_ extremely. In a desire to include as few OriginalCharacters as possible, I have shifted relationships between various characters dramatically, and often you may find yourself blinking or raising an eyebrow when you see who is related to who, and in what way. I apologize for this in advance; this _is_ an alternative universe fanfiction, and I will exploit this fact to my greatest advantage in creating this story.

**Warning: **I have never played _Final Fantasy VII_, nor _Dirge of Cerebus_, however I have watched the cutscenes from _Crisis Core_, completed half of said game, and watched both _Advent Children_ and _Advent Children: Complete _many times. I apologize if I incorrectly represent any characters in this fanfiction, and in my defense can only say that this is an AlternativeUniverse story. Any information directly related to the original game is retrieved from Wikipedia, and is (I hope) somewhat reliable.

**Author's Note: **To those of you who have read my other Final Fantasy VII story, "One Chance," this one will be very, very different. For one thing, I will be far more formal about the writing of this fanfiction than my previous one, and have taken a different format in presenting it, as you can already see. Also, far more effort and research has gone into the creation of this story than into "One Chance." To all readers, new and old, thank you for taking the time and effort to read this story, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoy writing it.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'C.S. Lewis Song,' 'Albertine,' 'Mystery' and 'Scarlet,' all by Brooke Fraser.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Prelude**

He lies beneath me, his lifeblood flowing like water. I look into his eyes, and I swear I can see the world shining back at me.

His heartbeat flutters, frail, weak. I press my forehead to his chest, trying to capture his stubborn will to live, and keep it there. But we're running out of time, the both of us.

I suppose I should start at the beginning of this. But how do I define "beginning?" When did this story really start? The day we were called to Mission Ops? The day we met? The day I was born?

The truly know - to feel, acknowledge, embrace - what has happened, is still happening, I suppose I should start before I even existed. Only then will you understand.

It was a day like any other in the proud city of Midgar...

* * *

**Part One: Elena Strife**

**Chapter One: Scarlet**

It was a day like any other in the proud city of Midgar. Traffic roared, slower than usual on this particular day, and voices rose as they battled to be heard in the constant noise. Smells, fragrant and decaying in equal portions, drifted lazily across the bustling suburbs. Today, the streets rang with more excitement than usual, thrill and anticipation a tangible tremor in the air, and the feelings spread until all knew what was happening.

It was the Gathering.

In an open courtyard before the tall, sleek building that was ShinRa's headquarters, over a hundred men and women - more women than men - stood in a straight line, hands twisting nervously, flushed with anticipation.

A crowd, held back by barriers of stone and iron few ever crossed, watched with bated breath. It soon became apparent what they waited for when the glorious doors to the metallic tower opened. Thirty of ShinRa's Children - as they were known - walked gracefully through. Their eyes shone with the same glorified light, muscles rippled under tanned or pale skin. Male and female, the only differentiation between ShinRa's Children, the only division within them, was the clothes they wore; the beliefs they clung to.

SOLDIER wore familiar uniforms - black, blue or purple pants, tucked into boots and a matching singlet, with belts, buckles and sheaths for various weapons scattered throughout. Many of the SOLDIERs had broad, thin, twisted or elegant blades strapped to their waists or back. They walked with power, confidence, assertiveness.

Fewer than the SOLDIERs, gliding with stealth rather than strength, the Turks shadowed them, though their eyes shone just as brightly, and their dark suits couldn't hide the undeniable feline grace and prowess they, as well as the SOLDIERs, possessed.

Turks, SOLDIERs: both Children of ShinRa, once the same, though separated for long years passed from contrasts in opinion too deep to reconcile. SOLDIERs kept peace, in whatever way possible - their role in life was to protect the helpless, to defend them against evil and stop anyone - or any_thing_ - that stood in the way of the harmony they strove for. It was against their very being to knowingly take the life of an innocent.

Turks ... it could only be said that they found the opposite to be their true calling. Finding little fault, or guilt, in killing to save their client's life, Turks notoriously held their values loosely. It was only their use to the Planet - or, more specifically, to the Gaian Government - that kept them from the unforgiving Courts.

The glow, the grace, the strength, these were all what made SOLDIER and Turks the same. Their heritage; their legacy. For the Children of ShinRa were different.

Thousands of years ago, an Angel fell from the sky. Her name was Jenova, and she graced the Planet with five sons and daughters, all to a handpicked man named Shin-Ra. These sons and daughters each had eyes that glowed, skin taught with muscles, and walked with movements of elegant beauty. They seemed surreal to the people of the Planet; they were held in higher station than their own, even when Jenova left to grant other worlds her presence.

When the five sons took wives and the five daughters took husbands, their children too glowed; in soul, and with ethereal mystique. Their eyes shone like jewels, and they grew to be as powerful as their mothers and fathers, if not more.

It was soon that these Children decide to join as one, and protect the Planet their "Mother" - Jenova - had deemed worthy of her attentions. And so, thousands of years before this moment, the family known collectively as ShinRa had been formed - named for their Father, the one an Angel herself had fallen from the heavens to love.

The Gathering was perhaps one of the most sacred and holy things ShinRa had granted the Planet with. Every year, hopeful men and women would flock to Midgar - the place where it was whispered Jenova herself had fallen - and present themselves to the Children of ShinRa. It was the highest honor of all to be chosen at a Gathering, chosen to parent a Child of ShinRa.

ShinRa had learnt early into it's formation that to breed one of ShinRa's Children with another led to instability. During the fifth century of their time on the Planet, ShinRa lost almost half it's number to insanity and degradation. They then decided that, to save themselves from death and misery, they would take not each other as lovers, but the people of the Planet. They found, to their delight, that mingling their blood with that of Humans did not dilute their power; if anything, it made them stronger, intensified the presence Jenova held in them. And so, the tradition continued, and it became not an obligation, but a privilege, every child's dream, and for a very few, a reality.

These men for whom it became a reality, journeyed in hopes of bedding a Daughter of ShinRa until she was sure of pregnancy, then leaving, heavy with the knowledge that they, a mere Human, had given the Planet a savior; a ShinRa. The women came to be taken by the Sons of ShinRa, sheltered and loved for every day of her term. Stories were told of the rare, unimaginably lucky women that were kept, adored and cherished as lovers of the Sons of ShinRa, raising their Child - or, as it was said with many of these cases, _Children_ - and dying wealthy, happy, and content.

But stories were never heard - never told, never whispered - of the ones who were not that lucky.

Among the hopeful men and women that stood in swaying lines, a young woman - barely out of childhood - stood with her hands clasped timidly behind her back, her cheeks tinged pink as like many others around her. Her yellow blonde hair was combed until it shone, falling neatly to her shoulders, held back on one side by two black clips. Her blue eyes mirrored the wide, clear sky above her beautifully. She wore a knee-length dress, white and flared in a representation of her purity and youth - for she was barely sixteen, only just out of school, her cheeks still plump from childhood and innocence.

Among the others that stood, waited, she held her breath and watched the Children of ShinRa approach, surreptitiously crossing her fingers behind her back.

This was it. They day all girls dreamed of in their fairy-tale childhoods. She was the only one of her friends to make it past the initial tests - performed by scientists, even a few of ShinRa's own come to see if they were worthy to bear one of their Children - _and_ the elimination process. She could feel their envy boring into her from where they watched in the crowd alongside her family.

Her family. The girl sighed, her shoulder sagging a little. They had, at first, advised against her, gently steered her away, before moving onto less subtle threats, then finally outright forbidding her to go. But that hadn't stopped her. Like every other teenaged girl, she had held onto her dream, and wished for the day when a strong SOLDIER, or dark, mysterious Turk, would sweep her into his arms and love her the way every girl wants to be loved. She held onto her visions of the day her faceless man would ask, no, _beg_ her to stay, the day she would hold their Child, watch it grow, nurture it to be the Pride of ShinRa, the greatest of ShinRa's children yet...

She, Elena Strife, was not to be deterred, her hopes and desires were not to be broken by something to feeble as, "it will never happen." If it never happened, then why did so many stories - be they fairy-tales, urban legends and my-cousin-met-this-guy-whose-best-friend-knew-this-girl's-sister-that-did-it rumors or not - tell of women just like herself, young, beautiful, who became the maidens of ShinRa, and lived life in harmony and riches? Who _wouldn't want_ that? She had made it this far, right? How hard could it be to make it even further?

Lost in her thoughts, Elena hadn't noticed when the SOLDIERs and Turks lined before them. She hadn't noticed when, caught by the dreamy look in her eye, one of the silver-haired SOLDIERs wandered over to her. In fact, she only noticed the stranger's presence when he stood before her, looking down into her blushing face, and cleared his throat loudly.

"Hm? Oh! Oh - sir," Elena rushed to cover the fact that she hadn't been paying attention, embarrassed that she had made a foolery of herself in front of-

She gasped.

Kadaj. It was _Kadaj_.

The famous SOLDIER, born just over twenty years ago, was made famous for his heroics in saving the children of Junon from a ruthless kidnapping. Over a hundred children had been stolen over the length of three months, but it took Kadaj only a week to track the children down and, single-handedly, kill the band of Humans that took them. He returned the children to their respective homes, a hero, and was welcomed into the highest rank ShinRa could give him; First Class, a class reserved for the greatest of them all. Kadaj's partners, his twins Loz and Yazoo, had joined him soon after for foiling a madman's attempt at assassinating the President of Gaia. The Turks assigned to the President's protection had been distracted, a rare occurrence of itself, but the silver-haired men had taken it all in their stride, and came out victorious on the other side.

"Are you aright? Are you ill?"

Elena's blush deepened when she realized that she was staring at Kadaj with no sign of answer, and stammered her way around a reply.

"I - I, of course not, sir, I was just, um, surprised!" Elena gave a shaky laugh, trying to hide her mortification. Of all the times to fall apart, it just _had_ to be in the most crucial moment!

"I take it you haven't done this before?" Kadaj asked dryly, shifting his weight to rest on one hip while he looked down at Elena with amused green eyes.

"I - no, I haven't, sir."

"I must confess, I have never done this before, either," Kadaj murmured, smiling ever-so-slightly - and in truth, rather creepily as well - in some amusement only he found.

"R-Really? I, uh, couldn't tell. Sir," Elena mentally struck herself over the head, swearing and kicking and berating herself for being such an idiot. _This is a SOLDIER! Not just any_ _SOLDIER, _the _SOLDIER! Come on, girl, pull yourself together! _

"I suppose we should move onto formalities, then," Kadaj sighed, looking highly put upon, and extended a hand to Elena. "Kadaj of ShinRa, at your service. Do you consent to being the Mother of my Child?"

Elena barley contained a squeal of joy, and couldn't stop herself from bouncing on her heels a little. Those were the word echoed across the world, the words intoned with longing and desire in every whispered story, and she - she_, Elena_ - had just heard those very words from _Kadaj_.

"I - yes!" Elena realized that Kadaj was - once again - waiting patiently for a response, a strange smile returned to his pointed face. "Yes, yes, of course! Uh - _sir_."

Kadaj didn't say anything; instead, he merely extended one arm and turned expectantly. Elena - heart pounding - took the offered arm with a shiver of excitement. But as he walked her to the doors of ShinRa, following the path of a the other couples, she looked over her shoulder to see her parents' faces, somehow definable from the rest of the rolling, screaming, jubilant crowd ... turning away in shame.

* * *

Elena woke and looked across the room to where Kadaj stood, fully dressed, adjusting his uniform in the long mirror propped against one wall.

"I have good news," he said, looking at her face in the reflections and smiling faintly. Elena blushed a little and pulled the soft duvet closer around her. She had always known that the first time hurt, but Kadaj had tried to make it easier for her, going slowly, making sure she was ready, making sure never to employ his ShinRa strength and hurt her.

"What is it?" Elena asked, sitting up and fluffing the blankets even closer around her, watching Kadaj intently as he retied a belt.

"You're pregnant."

It wasn't until that moment that what she was doing - about to do - fully struck her. Elena stared up at Kadaj, then lowered her eyes to her stomach, amazed, wary, awe-struck at the thought that at that _very_ moment, a child - not just any child, but a _ShinRa_ child - was growing within her.

"H-How can you tell?"

"ShinRa have always been particularly ... potent when it comes to things like this. But, to be sure: your scent. Hormones, and such."

Elena was, in truth, a little disturbed at this revelation. She knew that ShinRa had heightened senses, but to be able to tell she was pregnant merely from her _smell_...

"Oh," Elena paused, running a hand over and over the tan colored sheets nervously. "That's ... that's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Kadaj assured her as he slid his double-bladed katana from where it hung beside the door, and swung it a few times, listening intently before nodding and clipping it to the hostler on his back.

"I ... when will you be back?" Elena asked eagerly, leaning forward and almost forgetting her state of undress, remembering just in time to jerk the blankets up a little.

"Later," Kadaj informed her. "There's food in the fridge, if you're hungry."

And with that, he left, giving her a jaunty, almost sarcastic little wave as he went. Elena watched the closed door dreamily, a content smile on her face, before rising and wrapping herself in a soft dressing gown laid out on the foot of the bed.

As she pulled a pre-made sandwich from the fridge, she paused to look down at her stomach in wonder.

She, Elena Strife, was _pregnant_.

* * *

**Nine Months Later**

Elena looked down at the tiny child she held in her arms, brushing her fingers against the tuft of silver hair that already grew from his fragile head. Smiling in pride, amazement, Elena brushed her hand along the babe's cheek, cooing softly.

Then - suddenly, so suddenly she barely had time to blink - he was gone.

"What-?" Elena's head whipped up to see a white-coated nurse tottering away, the sleeping child cradled against one shoulder. Elena went to rise, but a pale hand reached out to hold her back. "No! Come bac-"

"Elena, calm yourself," Kadaj told her gently from where he stood passively beside the hospitable bed.

"But they have-!"

"Surely you know what happens once the Child is born?" Kadaj sighed a little, looking at her with something that bordered on pity. Elena felt a cold, hard knot of apprehension settle in her aching stomach.

"I - no, please, bring him back-"

"Elena ... you will never ... see him again."

Elena stared up at Kadaj, mouth gaping open, face pale, eyes glistening, heart skipping, a sob choking her. The world fell away from her, all she could see in her mind's eye was that perfect face that told her - as calm as you please - that her child, her precious, precious child, was gone. Forever.

Tears finally overflowed, and Elena pulled the white sheets up a little, grasping them tightly in shaking fists.

"B-But, I thought-"

"You thought that I would take you as my wife? Elena ... I can't," Kadaj reached out and touched her shoulder gently, reassuringly, but all the touch did was make Elena sob all the harder. Of course. How could she not have seen; every time they spoke, every time he came to her in her lush, spacious apartment, every time he touched her face or hand. His eyes had never sparked with love as hers did, his face had never lit up to see her like her face had to see him. He had smiled at her when he came home each night, he had laughed at her jokes, hugged her when she opened her arms in invitation. But he had never, never loved her. Her fairy-tale, her _dream_ ... had been merely that. A dream.

"H-He-"

"Elena, you are a Human," Kadaj said softly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "You are weak, too weak to defend yourself against the true horrors that lie out there-" he waved his arm in the direction of the Western Continent, the Planet, the world, "-and as such are what we in ShinRa ... hesitate to call a _liability_. ShinRa raise their Children away from Humans, Elena, the only thing Humans can do is get in the way, and get hurt. If any of our Children should become ... _attached_ to that Human ... lives are at risk, Elena. And we can't allow that."

"B-But, the m-motto-"

"'_As SOLDIERs we care, for all Humanity, as equals'_," Kadaj quoted dutifully, closing his eyes as if to block out the pitiful sight her tear-blotched face made. "Yes, Elena, we care - _equally_. I _do_ care for you ... but only as much for you as for the woman down the road, as much for you as for the boy who sells papers on the corner. I will protect you, I will save you, I will care for you ... as much as for you, as for anyone else." His voice fell to a whisper as he spoke, but Elena didn't need to strain to hear him. She hiccupped, and took a shaky, strained breath, her wet lashes pressed against her skin, her eyes were shut so tightly.

"B-But I l-love y-"

"I'm a SOLDIER, Elena. Please ... I care. I cannot love ... not a Human."

Elena opened her eyes to focus dimly on her covered knees, shock giving her psychological whiplash as she - along with the hundreds of hopefuls before her - finally saw the truth. SOLDIERs, Turks - ShinRa - were there to help, yes. They were there to protect the people, the Planet, against threats, monsters, even once a Meteor had threatened Midgar, only to be deflected by the genius that was ShinRa ... but, even as they protected the Planet, they weren't here to love, to nurture a better future as ShinRa after ShinRa had claimed. They weren't here to embrace the people of the Planet, the natives; the Humans. They were here as much for their own benefit - a reason to fight, a Planet to fulfill their lives - as much as for anyone else's. The pampering, the loving attentions ... they had _never _been for her, but always for the Child she carried.

Perhaps once ShinRa had done as their motto had intended, eons ago when it had been first spoken. Perhaps once ShinRa had cared for Humans as if they were their own, as if they were equal to them. But time had warped their visions, their values, their morals.

And so it was that Elena Strife realized; ShinRa had become, if nothing else ... selfish.

"At least let me name him," Elena begged, struggling for the one thing that could placate her now that her life's hopes and dreams had been shattered, clinging to one thing that might save her from despair and shame. Her hand reached out to grasp Kadaj's arm desperately, pleading with him. "Please."

Kadaj looked down at her, saw in her eyes that she was broken, knew that she had seen what few ever saw. And as he looked into those eyes, no longer shining, but dull and helpless, he bowed his head in shallow guilt, fleeting shame.

"Yes," he turned away, her grasp falling weakly from his arm. "I will allow it."

Elena closed her eyes in relief, her mouth moving of it's own accord, repeating the name she had chosen.

"Sephiroth ... Sephiroth. _Sephiroth_..."

Kadaj looked down at the woman, seeing that she was on the brink of a breakdown, and touched her shoulder one last time.

"I will tell them," he assured her. And then he turned, leaving the empty room, leaving the broken-hearted girl, leaving her with nothing but a name and a envelope on the bedside table, stamped with the words, '_Our many thanks. Your child will be the Pride of ShinRa. Here is our gratitude for your donation to our cause,' _followed by the well-known motto of ShinRa.

_As SOLDIERs we care, for all Humanity, as equals. As Turks we defend, whatever the sacrifice, at the cost of our souls. As ShinRa we shine, and fight for a better future. _

After many, many hours of tears that slowly faded to hiccups and dry sobs, Elena picked the envelope up, turning it over in her hands and sniffing once, twice. She read the words printed on the front, snorted humorlessly, and ripped it open.

A thick wad of Gil fell out, all of them crisp red hundred notes. Elena didn't even blink when she saw them - though there must have been _thousands_ sitting in her lap - and reached with trembling fingers for the slip of paper she had seen among them.

It was a photo, one taken when she was but a few weeks into her pregnancy. There she stood, beaming, glowing, and behind her posed Kadaj. He had her arms around her, resting lightly on her stomach. In turn behind them, the ShinRa tower shone brilliantly in the morning sun. Elena's eyes were wide with innocence, but now that she knew - now that she understood - Elena could clearly see the distant glaze in Kadaj's eyes, the way he stood close, yet not _too_ close. The thought brought a sharp sting to her heart, and Elena hiccuped as her throbbing eyes welled up once again.

Elena wiped her eyes, folding the picture and tucking it into her bra, the closest thing she had to a pocket in her current state, having been decked out in hospital gear upon her first contractions.

Contractions. _Sephiroth_.

At least she knew his name, Elena tried to console herself. She could watch his progress from a distance, proud in the knowledge that he was her _son _...

She choked a little, and looked around, instinctively reaching for the source of comfort that had always been there. Her eyes snagged on a wireless phone at the far side of the room, and she pushed the blankets down to limp over, collapsing into the chair next to it. She lifted the phone off it's cradle and dialed the memorized number with ease.

It rang three times before it was answered.

"Strife residence, this is Harley speaking, how can I help you?"

Elena's throat clogged when she heard her father's voice, and she grasped the phone a little tighter before forcing out,

"Dad?"

At first there was only silence, before finally-

"Elena, is that you?"

Elena closed her eyes and pressed the phone tight against the side of her face, sure that she was leaving an imprint of the keypad on her cheek.

"Yeah, Dad. It's me."

"What happened? Did your SOLDIER leave you?" His voice was thick with anger, yet Elena imagined she could hear a hint of sorrow, sadness, pain, under it all.

"Dad ... he ... Daddy, I got p-pregnant, and I had a b-baby boy, and h-he was so b-b-beautiful and - and -" Elena noted dimly that she was crying, and pressed the heel of her free hand into her eyes, as if to hold the tears back.

"Baby, what's wrong?" All anger was gone, now, and instead Elena could feel his love for his eldest daughter - for her - washing over her, worried now that she was so obviously hurt, trying to protect her as he had those months ago, though she had been too pig-headed to see it.

"H-He _took_ h-him, K-Kadaj, he t-_took_ Sephiroth-"

"Your son, I assume?" Harley's voice was soft, gentle, trying to comfort her from his home down south, in the city of Mideel. Her home.

"Yes," Elena whispered, her breathing calming a little now, her eyes still closed. "Sephiroth..."

"Baby ... look, when you're better, come home, okay? We missed you so much..."

Elena's heart leapt at the thought, and she perked up for but a moment, before memories fell back in place, and she felt such an unbelievable _shame_ wash through her, tear her apart... She and her friends had fought so hard to get to where she was, but now that she'd made it, she'd seen the lies her world was built on. She knew her friends would never understand; they would never see as she had. They would only mock her for not being good enough. Never mind that ShinRa made a point to never love Humans: as far as they were concerned ... she simply hadn't been good enough.

"I ... I can't," Elena sobbed, standing (though she leant against the side of the chair for balance) and facing the phone cradle. "I ... I just can't face them."

"Elena," Elena could hear a distinct panic in her father's voice, now, and tried not to think of how much she would be hurting him - and herself - by doing this. How had something as simple as wanting to her her father's voice ... come to this? "Please, come home, we can look after you-"

"Don't you get it, Dad?" Elena's voice cracked a little, her voice nothing more than a whisper, silently praying for the strength to continue. "I went off to ShinRa like a good little lapdog, I thought - I honesty _thought_-" here she gave a cynical, rough, bitter laugh, "-that he would love me. But then ... he just ... didn't. I can't go home, Dad."

"Baby, please, don't do this-"

"I've got money," Elena tried to reassure both him, and herself. Tried to convince herself that she could do this, that she was strong enough. "I ... I don't know if I'll call again."

"_Elena-!_"

"Bye, Daddy..."

And with that, Elena thumbed the soft white button, and pressed her lips to the back of the plastic phone before she gently placed it back in it's holder.

* * *

**Ten Years Later**

Elena, no longer an innocent girl but now a world-wise woman in her mid twenties, stood behind the cracked bar, and sighed.

Ten years. Planet, had it been that long already? Ten years since she'd lost her innocence, ten years since she'd lost all illusions of grandeur, ten years ... and yet not a whisper, not even a murmur of him, of his progress. The television showed only the fading career of the silver-haired triplets, as they reached and passed their prime, and handed the baton to the next generation; it only showed the rising of that generation, of the new Turk Commander, Verdot, of the recent Gaian General, Heidegger; of Politicians and taxes and hints of a war on the brink with Wutai, ever resistant to the Gaian Government's attempt at dominance over the last "free" country in the world.

Elena shook her head and finished washing the glass, slipping it into an under-the-bar cupboard and rinsing out the cloth before wiping down the bench. It was almost opening time, and soon the place would be alive with the stench of smoke, the rising voices of tipsy men and women, and the low murmurs of the trusty regulars, sitting in their chosen corners and sipping at their next mug of beer.

A bar. Of all the places she thought to see herself in, when she was a child, ignorant, it had been anything _but_ a bar. A palace, perhaps. A high-rise apartment, surrounded by silver-haired children. A modern suburb home, with expensive furnishings and sleek cars pulling in at the drive. A bar? Not Elena Strife, no sir-ey. Elena Strife was destined for _greater_ things ...

Now, thinking back, Elena could only laugh, and rub furiously at a particularly stubborn strain of dirt that had manifested itself in the usually spotless pub.

The night turned out to be slower than usual, a usual occurrence for a Wednesday night. Elena was just starting to shoo the last hanger-ons away, gathering dirty glasses and sweeping up stray crumbs, when the door opened one last time.

Balancing two full trays of empty cups, she half-turned to the door, and said,

"Sorry, we're closing ... up ..." Her eyes widened when she saw the intense glow, eyes that shone in the darkness that was Lower Midgar. She was no fool; she knew a ShinRa when she saw one. And she also knew better than to refuse one when they showed up, no matter what the time of day. "... though for you, sir, we're open anytime."

And so, straining to apply her best, award-winning smile, she walked behind the bar while the ShinRa - identifiable a Turk now that he'd entered the luminance from the florescent lights - took a stool on the other side. His eyes - unnaturally red - followed her every movement as she went to find retrieve a clean glass from the dishwasher.

"What can I get you?" Elena feinted ease, and leant forward on the wooden bench a little. She didn't miss the way the Turk's eyes flitted down before meeting hers once again.

After taking his order and dutifully fulfilling it, she slid the drink across to him, watching as he casually withdrew one hand from where they had been crossed before him, and caught it smoothly, effortlessly. He tilted the drink at her in thanks, then downed the lot in one go.

Wide-eyed, Elena took the empty cup and filled it again, and again, and again, until the tab tallied more than she'd make in a week, and she was beginning to wonder if ShinRa were immune to alcohol; surely the man should be unconscious, if not comatose, with the sheer amount of alcohol he'd consumed thus far?!

The soon familiar routine was only broken once. The man, his eyes once again trailing after her and she continued to clean up the bar, spoke in a low, gravelly voice,

"Do I know you?"

Elena's heart stopped, and knew the man noticed - how could he not, with hearing as sharp as ShinRa were renowned for - but pleaded innocence anyway. _Does he know Sephiroth? Does he look like me? Does he act like me? Does he know my name? Does he even know I exist?_

"I'm sorry," she said, in a voice was that genuinely regretful. "You must have me confused with someone else." _Well ...__ I should hope not, anyway. The Humans Turks get to know usually end up dead. _

"Hm," the man said, clearly unconvinced. "If you're sure..."

It was more than a fair few hours later - Elena struggling to keep awake - when the man stood, surprisingly steady, and patted for his wallet. He frowned, and Elena felt her heart sinking. She'd used over a week's supplies on this man, if he couldn't pay...

"Sorry, sweetheart," the Turk intoned. "Look's like I've only got this on me." He pulled a few fifty-gil notes out of a back pocket, and Elena took them silently, trying to ignore a nagging voice in the rear of her mind that told her it wasn't going to be enough.

"It's alright, sir," Elena assured him, trying to keep her emotions from her face. "I'll manage."

"No, it's not," the Turk sighed, looking at the flushed blonde before him.

Elena took the last cup away and bumped open the till with her hip, throwing the fifties in.

"You know ... I could always pay you ... with something else?"

Elena looked up, saw the shine in his eyes that wasn't Jenova's legacy, and sucked in a sharp breath. She knew that look.

And she also knew better than to refuse a ShinRa what they wanted. She wasn't a fool.

* * *

The next morning was tense, awkward. Elena woke to see deep red eyes blinking back at her, and had to stop herself from automatically tensing and moving away. Instead, she fought to calm her breathing and heart, and gave the Turk a hesitant smile.

"Uh ... hey," she said halfheartedly, leaning back so that she propped her body up on one arm. "Do ... d'you want anything?"

"Coffee would be good," the Turk moaned after a long moment of silence.

"M'kay," Elena sighed, sitting up and grabbing a loose shirt, some flannel pants and soft slippers to throw on. She pattered out to the kitchen - adjacent to the bar and where much of the alcohol was stored in the day, when the place was closed - and leant against the counter as she listened to the familiar whirring of the coffee machine.

She, was an _idiot_.

What on _Planet_ was she thinking, letting him take her to bed?! Was she _trying_ to bring back painful memories? Was she _trying_ to hurt herself? Or, even worse, was she trying to relive the "glory days," was she trying to pretend the last ten years had never happened, and she was still there, still with him, still ...

The short trill of the finished coffee startled her, and she poured two cups absently, carrying them into the bedroom carefully.

"Here," she said, handing one cup to the Turk - who was now sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his uniform black pants (and nothing else), trying to wrestle on socks. "I don't know what you like, so I put a bit of everything in."

The Turk nodded and sipped the coffee, trying to mask his immediate reaction of dislike. Elena, however, didn't miss it, and huffed a little. She watched as the man dressed, shivering a little when he tucked several guns, knives and other such contraptions into hostlers, as if it was common place to do so ... which, for a Turk, it was.

"What's your name?" Elena spoke up, finally, as the Turk was slipping on black leather shoes. He paused, thinking the question through for a moment, before replying flatly,

"Vincent. Vincent Valentine." He stood, stepping closer to Elena, and pulled a small tinfoil sheet of what she correctly identified to be pills from an inner pocket. "Here; take these." He popped the pills out and handed them to Elena, who looked down at them, confused.

"What do they do?" she asked, half fearing the answer.

"They'll kill the child that grows within you."

Elena froze, staring up at Vincent in shock - borderline horror - and closed her fingers over the two pills, shaking slightly.

"Th-the _what_?"

"The child, Miss Strife. I can tell by the scent," Vincent informed the still woman, stepping around her and heading for the door. "Take them." He turned suddenly, and watched her with a sharp eye. Elena knew he wouldn't leave until she'd taken them, until he was sure.

Trembling hands lifted the pills to Elena's mouth, and she placed them tentatively on her tongue, followed shortly by a sip of coffee. She washed the liquid around her mouth, without swallowing.

"Swallow," Vincent urged her silently, a glint in his eyes that was chillingly threatening.

Elena tensed her throat, began to swallow, but before she did, a thought struck her.

_This child ... is a ShinRa. Just like he is. Just like Sephiroth. _

She swallowed.

* * *

The moment the man - the Turk - Vincent - had gone, Elena whirled for an empty cup on her bedside table and spat the half-dissolved pills out, rinsing her mouth with coffee and purging that, too, from her system.

Planet be _damned_ if she was going to let ShinRa take another child from her.

* * *

**Next: **Part One, Chapter Two: Way Away. _Elena finds a new home._


	2. Part One, Chapter Two

**Title: **As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **You may have noticed that each chapter is named after the song title which best suits the events, (though in some circumstances, named after my favorite song from the ones listed.) I will be continuing with this theme for the rest of the fanfiction. The songs listed in each chapter are the songs I listen to as I write, that I feel best suit what is happening. If you wish, search and listen to them to get the feeling of what is happening - having a list of songs for each chapter really helps with overcoming writer's block, as you have something that gets you in the mood of what you're supposed to be writing. Also, they serve as hints for the readers as to what is coming in each installment, or what mood I'm in when I'm writing.

I apologize in advance for the amount of describing rather than action in this chapter. The beginning of this fanfiction will mostly comprise of talking, explaining, etc. Also, I am not quite sure which accent I have based Nibelheim on. Deciphering Nibelheim speech may take a little effort on your part. I think the accent I have formulated is a strange mixture of Scottish and Australian; I really have _no_ clue.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'It Was You' by 12 Stones, 'Way Away' and 'Light Up the Sky' by Yellowcard.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part One: Elena Strife**

**Chapter Two: Way Away**

It was a six hour flight from Midgar to Rocket Town, and then a further ten hour drive from Rocket Town to the mountains, but when Elena finally stepped out of the dented, two door car she'd borrowed for the weekend, it was worth it. She looked down on the sleepy town nestled in a hollow between two mountains, and smiled.

It was perfect.

It had snowed recently - winter just starting it's pass on the valley - and the huts and houses below were dusted in white, almost like icing sugar on a cake, in some form of picturesque beauty. There was a lake on the outskirts, violet-blue and hidden among a few stray pines, and she could see a creeping forest along one edge of the village, the refreshing ever-green trees giving the setting it's finishing touch. A few outlying farms - which brought in the majority of the town's income, selling fleece, milk, cheese and wine - littered the lush countryside surrounding the cluster of homes. The place was powered by a single generator, it's electricity harvested from one of the thick streams that tumbled down the slopes. Hidden in the shadow of the enormous mountain, Nibel, Nibelheim was the only place in Gaia that held what Elena sought.

Protection from ShinRa.

In the nature of their inheritance, the thing that set ShinRa aside from the Humans of the Planet was the Angel, Jenova. A ShinRa's strength, ability, was measured commonly by the Presence Jenova held in them. This Jenova Presence was what gave them beauty, strength, grace. And, not only that ... but recently, ShinRa had discovered a way to distinguish that Presence in ShinRa from Humans. Using satellites launched from Rocket Town, they had the ability to search the world for anyone with this Presence, locating any lost SOLDIERs or Turks, hunting down ShinRa that had been kidnapped or hidden. It had saved many, many ShinRa from gruesome deaths, yes ... but it had also uncovered a hidden blood line, a small band of deserters that had tried - and until then, been successful - at hiding from ShinRa.

When some of their peers had been caught, and taken, the rest had fled, fleeing to all corners of the Planet, searching for a place where they could be safe from the inheritance they had fought and struggled against, a legacy they never wanted. Most had been captured, the satellite's power simply too strong to evade. But one family had done it. They had escaped ShinRa, they had found a place where they could be hidden from the ever-watching satellites, they had found sanctuary. And that sanctuary was a small, country town called ... Nibelheim.

Nibelheim was rumored to be the only place in Gaian territory that ShinRa couldn't reach, that their satellites couldn't read. No one knew why, but only the strongest Jenova Presence - something one of the deserter ShinRa's children had unfortunately achieved - could register on the satellite, which, of course, lead to their discovery and relocation to headquarters.

But now, almost three decades later, it was Elena's turn to hide there. ShinRa had long since withdrawn their guards from the sleepy village, keeping their influence to a yearly visit with the Mayor, and a ignorant opinion that countrymen such as Nibelheimers were too simple for secrets and trickery. This simplicity, along with the satellites in the state they were ... meant that Nibelheim could be the only place on the Planet she could safety raise her Child. If they would let her.

Elena drove down to the heart of the village, stepping out onto the crisp snow and breathing in the deep, clean smell she'd missed so much. Mideel, her hometown, had been nowhere near as polluted as Midgar had been, and she'd missed untainted air, free from the stench of oil-powered generators and factories.

The Town Hall was modest, made of stone and wood as much of the homes in Nibelheim were, though they had spent a little more time on this building, taking the time to add a patio and wide stone stairs, a few carvings around the edges. The words "Town Hall" were hung on a wooden sign nailed above the ornate double-doors, though were fading a little from time and wear.

"Okay," Elena breathed, taking a breath and closing her eyes momentarily. There were very few out at this time of day - the sun just setting, casting the town in golden light - though the two locals that were about looked at her strangely as they walked past. The people of Nibelheim obviously wasn't used to visitors. "You can do this..."

Locking the car, Elena skipped lightly up the short steps and walked to the doors nervously. She'd tried to dress simply, modestly, but when she saw one woman wearing floor-length skirts and a woolen, long-sleeved jumper, comparing it to her own jeans and half-zipped jacket, she felt a small blush rise on her cheeks.

Quickly, before she lost her nerve, she reached out and pulled the heavy knocker three times, stepping back when she heard loud footsteps approaching on the other side. The door was heaved open, and suddenly Elena found herself blinking up into the face of a man with a stony face, dark hair buzzed around his head and lips, wearing hanging leather clothes over dark pants.

"Yur new 'round her'," he said gruffly, his coarse, country accent forcing Elena to hold back a wince. "Can I help yoo?"

"Erm ... yes," Elena gave the man a short smile, "I was wondering if I could speak to the Mayor?"

"Yur lookin' at 'im, luv," the man laughed a little. "Mayor Gareth Lockhar', at yur service."

"I ... oh," Elena was temporarily stunned, staring at the man in badly disguised shock. How on Planet did a man like _this_ end up at _Mayor_?

"Eh, girly, yoo doin' okey?" Gareth peered down at her from his alarmingly tall stature. "Yoo look ah bi' pale, ther'."

"Hm? Oh - I'm fine, just got a bit of jet lag, nothing to worry about. I ... well, I was wondering if I could talk to you? Privately?"

Gareth didn't even pause to ask why, merely nodded, and beckoned for her to follow him indoors. Elena followed the broad-shouldered man, looking around at the cosy rooms they passed, the interior decorated in warm, earthy colours of gold, browns and reds.

Eventually, they passed into an office, with a simple desk, what was probably the only computer in the entire town, by the looks of things, and an old phone set against one wall. There was a potted plant in the far corner, and a line of photographs hung on one wall, showing the progression of Nibelheim, a few newspaper cuttings and the last one a portrait of Gareth, shaking the hand of someone that looked to be his father.

"Now," Elena turned and saw that Gareth had, while she was busy staring, seated himself behind the desk. She took one of the chairs opposite, and folded her hands in her lap, sitting as straight as she could, feeling for some reason as if she were a naughty child at the headmaster's office. "Wha' did yoo wanna talk 'bout?"

"I ... was hoping to take residence here, and I was wondering how I might come to do that," Elena admitted, looking not at the Mayor, but past him, out the blinds that shielded the window and onto the white garden beyond.

"Wer' yoo now," Gareth nodded sagely, leaning back in his chair. "Why's tha'?"

"I ... well, you see..." Elena sighed. There was no point hiding it from him; even if she tried, she would soon be showing, and with any luck, by this time next year she would be walking the streets with a new-born babe on her hip, eyes shining in a way that was impossible to hide. "I ... I'm in a bit of a situation, here." Gareth didn't speak, only nodded for her to continue. "I am ... pregnant." Gareth, again, only nodded; as if it were to be expected. "With a ShinRa."

Ah.

Gareth leant forward so fast that Elena gasped and started back into her chair, almost falling but steadying herself just in time. Gareth's eyes shone with something akin to anger, and Elena shuddered at the intensity of his glare.

"Wha' now?" he growled, and Elena took a shaky breath. "Yoo come her' expectin' us t' take yoo in, giv' yoo money 'nd food, j'st so yoo c'n hide fr'm _ShinRa_?"

"Please, it's the only chance we've got," Elena whispered, trying to calm her racing heart. "My first child, my baby ... ShinRa took him. Please, I can't stand them to take another." To her horror, she found tears falling down her cheeks, and brushed them away impatiently. Now wasn't the time to fall apart. "This is the only place we can go - ShinRa won't find us here, I know the stories, I _know _they're true. Please, we won't be any trouble - I have money, I can work, you won't even know we're here!"

Gareth had calmed a little, but was still breathing heavier than usual, almost resembling a bull the way his chest heaved and his nostrils flared.

"Won' be 'ny tr'ble, yoo say?" he grumbled, rubbing his chin tiredly, sighing a little. "Alrigh' - say I le' yoo stay. Wha' you gonna do fo' ah livin'?"

" ... I can clean?" When Gareth remained unimpressed, Elena quickly changed tactics. "Erm ... cook? Serve drinks? Teach?"

"Teach, yoo say?" Gareth perked up, and Elena nodded enthusiastically, earnestly.

"Yes, I was taught by the best in Mideel, and spent ten years in Midgar after that. I can teach letters, numbers, History, Geography, even a little science!"

"Nib'lheem could do wif a Teacha," Gareth said, almost to himself. Elena, not wanting to rush the man and seem too eager (though it was probably too late for that), paused and sat back in her chair, waiting for his verdict. "Alrigh'. If yoo wanna stay her', yoo c'n set yurself up ah School house, teach th' young 'uns their stuff. We havn' had a Teacha her' fer years pas', most people her' only kn'w wha' their folks taugh' them, y'know?"

"I couldn't tell," Elena smiled pleasantly, looking a little less pale now that she knew she wasn't about to be thrown out on her ear. "How ... soon can I move in?"

"Well, 'ave yoo go' yur stuff with yoo?" Gareth drawled, as calm as before, as if he had never lost his temper in the first place.

"I - yes, it's in the car," Elena was smiling now, a healthy glow returned to her face, happier than ever.

"Now, then, if yoo've go' the time," Gareth smiled back, heaving himself off the desk. "Ther's ah littl' farm on th' outskurts, empty a' th' momen'. Conrad - bless his soul - go' eat'n by a rabid bear las' month. Poor bloke." Gareth took a moment to sigh and shake his head sorrowfully. Elena looked a little less enthusiastic now, and the smile slipped from her face, before - in a startling manner she would soon become familiar with - Gareth snapped back to his usual cheerful self, throwing open the front doors to the Town Hall and leading her down the steps. "Ther's ah barn out th' back, yoo could use tha' as ah School room. And there's more'n enuff room in th' main buildin' for yoo 'nd the Littl' 'un to live. There migh' be a few chickens hangin' round, an' I think Conrad left 'is pig out o' it's kennel, so migh' be a bit of ah problem ther' ... I'll haff to ge' Ricky ont' it ... bu' anyways, it's a cosy littl' place. Sturdy.

Elena could already feel herself warming up to the accent, the initial shock and double-take of Nibelheim speech wearing off.

Somehow ... she knew she was going to like it here.

* * *

The house was made of grey stone, the roof thatched with wood shingles. Most of the surrounding terrain from bare, muddy with tufts of grass and thistle daring to grow. The property, stretching almost 20 acres, according to Gareth, was used mostly by the late Conrad for breeding pigs, though the Mayor was quick to assure her (after seeing her slightly scandalized expression) that she needn't follow the tradition. The land had been butchered into ten or so paddocks with wooden posts and fences, rotted in a few places but sturdy enough to last a few more years, should Elena ever find the need to use them. A winding, muddy road led through the middle of it all, from the gravel road to the House paddock, shadowed by a few leafless oak trees, one or two obviously dead and waiting for a thorough storm to push them over at the most inconvenient time.

The place - number seventeen by the metal letterbox at the end of the driveway - was just under a kilometer from the Town Hall - what could only be called "suburbs" ending a few hundred meters away - and easy enough for the children to walk to and from, Gareth assured her. If not, they could always catch a lift on the back of a wagon, or take one of their working Chocobos over and let it roam the surrounding paddocks during the day.

The experience was all very strange for Elena, who, used to buses, three-story Schools, monorails and heated floors, found the very country-like situation refreshing and ... somewhat alarming. Number seventeen only had one line of electricity, used to power light-bulbs and the stove in the home, and the water pump in the barn, though the power-pole looked about as sturdy as a dandelion, ready to fall in one good puff of breath.

The barn was big, bigger than the home by a fair few square meters, and made from sheets of iron that had been left unpainted, yet free of rust. Inside revealed a room with a slightly tilting roof, about a meter above Elena's head, and a floor strewn with hay and what looked suspiciously like manure. There were a couple of stalls in the far back of the barn, and several upturned buckets sitting innocently around.

"It looks ... homey," Elena settled for, turning to the beaming Mayor. "How ... how much rent? And how often will I need to pay yo-"

"All th' pay I need, luv, is fo' yoo to teach th' Littl' 'uns their stuff," Gareth patted her on the shoulder, smiling broadly. "We're havin' a Town meetin' next Fri-day, yoo can come 'round then an' meet everyon'."

"What should I do about food? I will run out, eventually," Elena asked, flicking a switch that looked like it was about to fall off the wall, and sighing a little in relief when an over-head light shuddered into life.

"Ther's ah corne' store j'st down th' road fr'm the Town Hall," Gareth informed her, much to her relief. "Ah supply truck c'mes her' ev'ry week, wiff things we can' get her' like med'cine 'nd those ... what're they call'd? F'zze dr'nks."

Elena couldn't hold back a short giggle, but instead of looking put off, or upset, Gareth instead looked highly pleased with himself.

"Tha's th' spirit," he chuckled. "Now, I gotta get back t' the Town Centre, my wife wan'ed me back home b'fore sundown. Yoo gonna be alrigh' by yah lones'me?"

"I'll be fine," Elena assured him, surprised by his honest concern for her; people weren't nearly this kind to strangers back in Midgar, as such a thing would usually get you robbed, mugged or kidnapped and handed to Gaian authorities for drug testing. "Look ... thank you, for all this. It means so much to me."

Gareth smiled at her, and gave her one last, rough smack on the shoulder.

"I'll be back t'mrrow, in case yoo need anythin'," he informed her, before shaking his thick boots, dislodging a bit of twine that had wrapped its way around his foot, and leaving.

Elena took a last look around the spacious barn, before clicking the light off and backing out, closing the door behind her. In the fading glow of early night, the sky lit up beautifully in deep reds, violets and fading blues, Elena trudged back to the main building, grateful that she had worn some of her more sturdy boots rather than fashionable high-heels or cloth slip-ons. Even her sneakers would have been inappropriate, loose enough to be lost in the clinging mud; she would probably have to set up a gravel path at some point.

Once inside the house, shoes tugged off and set just inside the door, Elena fumbled for a light in the near-dark, blinking to try and correct her eyes as the sudden, harsh light struck her. The single lightbulb that hung from the ceiling revealed a simple living room, with a kitchen squared in one corner, a few bare items of furniture scattered around; a pine table and chairs, a two-element stove, a dark brown couch and a bookcase were all that filled the otherwise empty room. The walls were off-white, the wooden panels around the entranceway changing to dark carpet a meter or so from the door. There was no television, no computer, though further investigation revealed a waist-height, wide fridge that looked large enough to fit a chocobo by the back door. Upon opening said fridge - which was really a freezer, now that she thought about it - Elena was quick to close the lid on the half-eaten pig carcass she'd unwittingly unearthed.

Back in the living room, there were three doors that led off it. One was a small, functioning bathroom, with a shower yet no tub, and a cracked mirror set into a cabinet. The next door opened into a room so small Elena could lay down straight with her feet on one wall, and have her hands stretched above her, flat against the other. This room had a window overlooking the paddocks surrounding them, and was done in fading greens and browns. As Elena left, flicking off the light as she did, she thought it might be a good room for the child, when it came.

As she entered the third and last room, Elena knew it would be hers. It was a meter or so larger than the other room in all directions but up, and rather than being completely bare as the previous room had been, had a double bed - unmade, though she had sheets in the car for that purpose - with two sets of wooden drawers on either side. A tiny wardrobe was hidden in one corner, set into the wall and complete with a hot-water closet. A handful of old clothes - no doubt belonging to the man who had once lived here - were thrown about some folded in the drawers, one torn shirt hidden beneath the bed, but they could easily be dealt with.

Elena closed the last drawer, stood, and looked around the room, smiling at the bedside lamp.

This place, this home, this village ... it was perfect. Utterly and completely perfect.

* * *

The first thing Elena did in her new residence at Nibelheim was make the bed. Not the most glorious of tasks, nor the most romantic, but she was near dead on her feet, and she couldn't bring herself to sleep on the bare bed with only a woolen blanket for protection from the mountain cold. So, grudgingly, she rummaged through drawers throughout the house, successfully locating a working flashlight in a kitchen drawer, and braved the short journey from the house to where the car had been parked. She made sure to leave the front door open, and light flooded from the living room and onto the surrounding terrain, silhouetting a sliver of grass and mud-soaked rocks and reflecting off the front bumper of the cheap rental car.

She'd packed as much as she could when she left Midgar. Half of her accumulated clothes - her summer ones abandoned as she left the almost tropical Midgar for the cold climate of Nibelheim, - a week or two's worth of food, necessities such as toothpaste and brushes, and several electronic devices she couldn't bear to leave behind. Life in the technological Midgar had spoiled her, she knew. Other places in the world - Nibelheim being one of the most extreme, with it's isolated nature - didn't _have_ simple things like internet, or phone lines (but for the Mayor's office, she remembered seeing a computer and land-line phone in there) simply because they were inaccessible and inconvenient.

Having already prepared herself for such a situation, Elena had purchased (using a trust fund formed from the money ShinRa had left to her) a card she could insert into her laptop, and use to connect to one of the many satellites that orbited the Planet, thus giving her - though limited - internet, and an ability to keep up with the happenings of the "outside world." She, of course, had her cellphone, though she was doubtful she would find reception anyplace within several miles. Other items such as an expresso machine, a toaster, a small portable television, and more, had been packed as well, in the hope that her new accommodations had electricity.

Carrying the many heavy bags that bore what remained of her previous life, Elena staggered into the house, closing (and locking) the door securely behind her. As she did, she was more than a little disturbed to see the sole light flicker softly. The electricity here really was fragile, she knew she was going to have to watch how she used it.

Taking a moment or two to unpack absolute necessities - the coffee machine being the first - Elena threw the neatly folded sheets over the lumpy bed and rolled herself under the covers, stopping only to throw off her clothes.

And then, with wind whistling through holes in the distant shed, a high whining she would soon learn to phase out that was the native cicadas, and a strange hollowness at the absence of Midgar traffic, sleep slowly and surely claimed Elena.

* * *

**Next:** Part One, Chapter Three: Never Be the Same. _We meet our blonde haired, blue-eyed boy for the first time._


	3. Part One, Chapter Three

**Title: **As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **This story will be what I once heard referred to as a "LifeFic." This means it will be following the life and times of - as you have probably guessed by now - Cloud. The fanfiction will be split into several sections - I am currently unsure of how many, but there will be at least five - separating each significant part of his life. This first section "Part One: Elena Strife" shows the various events that lead to Cloud's birth, in a prologue of some sort. The next section, "Part Two: Childhood" will show Cloud growing, learning and generally being a child in Nibelheim. The original plot I created for this story won't actually be coming into play until the fourth or fifth part!

Thank you for the wonderful reviews I've been getting! Unfortunately, I wrote this chapter under the influence of a nasty cold and strong painkillers, so I'm not quite sure it is as good as it could be ... but, we'll see. On a completely different note, the latter half of this instalment was inspired by watching a rare species of Goose eating grass outside my bedroom window.

**Note on Updates:** I've decided to update only on weekends, in an attempt to convince myself to concentrate more on School Work and upcoming exams. I apologise that updates may not be as frequent as you may like, but once Exams are over in five-six weeks time, I will be able to update more frequently.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Dark River' by X-Ray Dog, 'Ordinary World' and 'Never Be the Same' by Red, 'Only One' by Yellowcard

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part One: Elena Strife**

**Chapter Three: Never Be the Same**

By the time the most important things - clothes, appliances, cleaning materials and food among them - were unpacked and stored in the small home, a week had passed, and Gareth had come to visit her a total of three times, introducing her to a new village member each time. The first to visit was his wife, Brittany Lockheart, who although seeming a little bitter at the prospect of a ShinRa running about Nibelheim in a few year's time, gave Elena a curt nod and shook her hand obligingly. The next to visit was a Wutian man, Zangan, who had come to Nibelheim a few years previous after finding Midgar's climate to oppressing - and the growing racism against Wutian's too harsh - and relocating somewhere quieter, more remote and better suited to the man's quiet nature.

The last visitor Elena met was a woman, about her age, who walked with a rolling gait and had skirts that hung not to her feet, as many other women of Nibelheim that wore skirts did, but to her knees, due to the fact that she was pregnant.

It was been much of a surprise for Elena to see just how much the woman's stomach had swelled - far more than her own had with her first pregnancy - and soon she and the woman - Nathalia - were on good speaking terms, sharing stories over cups of coffee and bouncing names back and forth.

It was at the end of this week that Gareth came to visit her once more, this time alone. As he stepped through the front door, Elena welcomed him brightly, and stepped aside to reveal three last, small boxes grouped on the living room floor. They contained items she'd collected over the years, photos and trinkets, memoirs she'd taken with her to ShinRa of her childhood, her family, her old friends.

"I see yur jus' gettin' the last of th' unpackin' done, then," Gareth said as he lowered himself onto the sofa.

"Yes, I'm almost done," Elena informed the man, picking up one of the boxes and moving about the room, placing the box on the dining table while she carefully unloaded a few of the paper-wrapped things it contained. She'd found a few shelves in the barn, and relocated them in the house, using them to store a few books she'd brought with her. She'd also sent an order off to Rocket Town via internet for some pencils and paper, maybe a few planners and Teacher's Workbooks to use, and they would be arriving in a week or two - a shelf had been set aside for them, and a square of wall kept for the planner she was expecting. A painted square of smooth wood could serve as a blackboard, and chalk was easy enough to buy - or, if worst came to worst, make. She'd asked Gareth to scrounge up a few spare tables and chairs, and arrange them in the barn for the school she was hoping to set up.

"D'yoo want some help?" Gareth was already rising from the chair, and scooped one of the boxes up in one hand, as if it weighed nothing.

"Sure, thanks Gareth," Elena beamed at the man, before continuing to unload a small set of china mice her father had given to her for her thirteenth birthday. Her father. _Dad..._

"Wha's this?" Gareth suddenly spoke up, and Elena turned ... only to gasp in shock, and fumble with the box, nearly dropping it in the process. She lurched to set the box down, and moved quickly to Gareth side, pulling the small slip of folded paper from his thick fingers. She opened the paper, her eyes glued to it, and shook her head when she saw that it was, indeed, what she had feared it was.

"Who's tha'?" Gareth was looking over her shoulder, peering at the coloured, creased photo in poorly contained interest.

"That ... is the father of my first child," Elena revealed, folding the photo and tucking it into a pocket. "Kadaj."

Gareth's eyes bulged.

"Th' fatha of yur child is _Kadaj_!?" he gasped, looking down at her stomach with wide eyes. Apparently, even in Nibelheim Kadaj was famous.

"Not this one," Elena brushed her hand against her abdomen, smiling nostalgically as she remembered the way her stomach had swelled with her first born, her eldest. "Kadaj is the father of my first chlid, Sephiroth."

"How lon' ago was this?" Gareth looked at the slight woman with obvious worry, putting the box he carried beside hers on the table.

"Just over ten years ago," Elena whispered. "I was sixteen. Young. Ignorant. I thought ... I thought he would love me. I think - no, I _imagine_ - that deep down, maybe he did. But ShinRa ... ShinRa has changed, Gareth. It used to be that SOLDIER cared more for others than they did for themselves. But now ... it's the other way around. I saw that, the day my Sephiroth was taken from me." She choked, and wrapped her arms around herself. She hadn't spoken about this with anyone, no one but her father, and she still had dreams - nightmares - about how _that_ had turned out. "I can't believe I was so _stupid_."

Gareth, seeing her distress, moved forwards as if to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, before deciding to instead wrap his arms around her, and let her cry.

"Shh ... it's alrigh', luv. It's alrigh'," he whispered, rubbing her shaking back as she let it all out after ten years of silence, of bottling her emotions, leaving them to fester and grow. "I promise, we won' le' them ge' the little 'un. Yur safe here."

Eventually, Elena's sobs died down, and she was soon pulling back from the tall man's embrace, sniffing and rubbing her eyes in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, her face flushed from both her loss of control, and her shame at having done such a thing. "I didn't mean to-"

"Aw, it's alrigh', luv," Gareth patted her roughly on the back and smiled down at her. "Ev'ryone had limits, even yoo outsid'rs from th' city. Ther's no shame in meetin' them, even when y'didn't expect it. Now, ther's ah reason I came down her' t'day. I wann'd to ask yoo if yoo wann'd to come to th' town meetin' tonigh'. It's ah chance for yoo to meet all th' town folk, an' see when they wan' their little 'uns to start that school yoo were plannin' up."

Elena paused only a moment for thought before nodding enthusiastically, her tears and worries forgotten.

"Yes - I would love to meet every ... one ... " She trailed off, stopped in her tracked when a thought - no, a memory - struck.

Gareth, one of the kindest people she'd ever met, had reacted with shock, horror, even offence when he heard her reason to come to Nibelheim. Even Brittany - his wife - and Zangan, even _Nathalia_ had acted strangely upon discovering her pregnancy, and she suspected that they had been told of it before hand, else wise their reactions would have been even stronger.

Suddenly, she realised how such an act - becoming pregnant, not only out of marriage, but to a ShinRa - would seem to the people of Nibeheim. From what she had seen thus far, the people that shared this quiet, secluded town were conservative, old fashioned, traditional. She, a single mother, travelled from almost halfway across the world to bring only trouble and impending danger, would never be accepted here.

"Elena? Yoo okey? Yoo look ah little pale, ther'."

"I'm fine, Gareth," Elena replied out of habit, picking up a small jewellery box she'd bought in Midgar. "Just feeling a little ill."

"Elena ... we don' have to tell 'em that yur little 'un's a ShinRa. Not ye', anyways. Let 'em get t' know too first, so they c'n see that yur really ah good person. Ther's nothin' t' worry abou'. Yoo'll come, won'chya?"

Elena started, and glanced up into his dark eyes. He'd seen right through her, seen her shame and dismay at realising she would never be accepted. He saw her like no one she'd ever met before, breaking down the barriers Midgar placed around everyone's hearts as if they were made of silk, not steel.

Elena looked up at the tall man, saw the deep love for the world around him, for the people who looked up to him and trusted him, and then she knew. She knew just what she wanted her child to be like. She wanted her child to love like ShinRa were never allowed to love. She wanted her child to have what no ShinRa had ever had before. She wanted her child, her ShinRa, to have the heart and love of a human.

"I'll come," Elena smiled back.

* * *

The meeting was stiff, awkward, silent. Though there were over thirty people in the low-ceilinged room, there could have been five for all the noise they were making. They were arranged in a circle, with Gareth and his young wife sitting at the head of the room, the wall opposite to the doors that led to the spacious room. Elena was perched on the edge of her wooden chair beside him, in a place that could only be described as the "guest" chair. Every eye was on her, the the blonde woman squirmed under their intense looks.

Not all of the women wore skirts, as she'd seen from the little of the Nibelheim populace she'd previously spotted. Some wore thick, practical pants, tucked into heavy boots like many of the men wore, though a few others had put more effort into their appearance, and had dressed up in jeans or shorter skirts - though those women were few and far between. The men were tall, sturdy and stoic as a broad stereotype. There was no one race, skin or hair colour that seemed dominant in Nibelheim, with both Wutian and Gaian, dark skin and light skin, blonde, red, brown and black hair, eyes that reflected the entire of the Planet. One or two of the Nibelheimers even had eyes that shone suspiciously, and Elena suspected that a bloodline of the ShinRa deserters had lived on in the mountain country, their legacy too weak to be detected.

The only thing that could be said collectively of the people gathered around her, was their age. All present were past childhood, past their teens and cemented firmly into adulthood; apparently children were kept at home when Town meetings were called. Elena couldn't help but wonder who was looking after them, or if some of the older children had elected to care for them.

"Wha's she doin' here?"

One of the older women spoke up, crossing her legs, folding her arms, and sneering suspiciously at Elena, making the blonde woman flush and look away ... though everywhere she looked, she saw more eyes, accusing and otherwise, looking at her, staring, waiting for her answer. Daring her to answer.

"This is Elena Strife," Gareth stood and walked over to Elena, stopping beside her and gently urging for her to stand. "She came t' me ah week or two ago, beggin' for ah place t' stay. Said she need'd protection. So I gave her i', in exchange f'r somethin'."

"Wha' is i' this time, Gareth?" A man sighed as he propped his arms on his legs and looked at the Mayor in exasperation. Nathalia sat beside him, and Elena guessed the man was her husband by the way she was looking at him in exasperation.

"She sai' she'd teach the little 'uns, f'r as long as we le' her stay her'," Gareth announced. Many of the towns folk looked happier about this, their faces brightening considerably, and Elena guessed they had children of their own that they were worrying about educating - but no longer

"Why does she need pr'tection?" the man raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Ah - well, y'see... yoo tell 'em, Elena," Gareth smiled encouragingly, and stepped back, letting her take the stage.

Elena licked her lips nervously, and raised her face, scanning over the many faces that were turned towards her. Among them she Zangan, and Nathalia, smiling encouragingly at her. Smiling nervously back, Elena forced herself to look away, and turned to the man who had asked the question, meeting his forest-green eyes squarely.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

It took two weeks for the supplies to come in from Rocket Town, and another week to spread the word around the Town, but eventually, a full month after her initial arrival at Nibelheim, Elena was ready to hold her first session of Nibelheim's new, unofficial "School."

In the first session, Elena was nervous, looking over the seven children seated before her. There were four boys, aged four, seven, and twins aged thirteen, along with three girls at five, ten and eleven. All of them were staring at Elena with wide, innocent eyes, sitting in various poses of attention, or inattention. Elena spent most of that first day - though it was only a half day, the lessons ending at twelve so that the children could get a feel for education before being plunged head-first into it - evaluating them, seeing what they did and didn't know. All of them - even the youngest boy, Drake, at four years old - were good at numbers, basic science and problem solving, though their history, geography and literature was falling behind what was commonly taught at each student's age in the rest of the world.

And so, after seeing the children off and making sure they made it back to their respective homes safely, Elena sat down at the dining table of her country home, and started to plan.

* * *

On the day Nathalia went into labour, Elena was just past three months into her own pregnancy, and was starting to show. Nathalia and her husband were first time parents, who were well ingrained into Nibelheim society, both being fifth generation in the small town.

There was only one midwife in Nibelheim, and Elena had been quick to meet and befriend her. The woman worked with her husband (they were childless) and niece on a wine-farm, and made expensive bottles of world-renowned Nibel Wine - renowned for it's potency, and ability to knock most unconscious after just a few cups.

Nathalia was visiting Elena when the sofa she clutched her stomach and widened her eyes. Elena, panicking, herded the woman into the rental car she had neglected to return and rushed over to the midwife, who lived a few kilometres away on one of the less distant farms. After alerting the woman, and helping the midwife's husband heave Nathalia from the car, she raced back off to Nathalia's home where _her_ husband was busy herding Chocobos. Upon hearing of his wife's labour, the man dropped everything, pausing only to close the gate and keep the Chocobos contained, before leaving with Elena for the midwife's home.

Ten hours later, Nathalia held her new son, Johnny, and looked down at him with tender, loving eyes.

Elena felt her heart twist. Had _she_ looked like that when she'd held Sephiroth? Had _she_ looked at her son with such raw love, a fierce protectiveness, a promise to keep them from harm for as long as they allowed them to?

Blinking, Elena forced her mind from "what if"s and "might have been"s. Sephiroth - no matter how much she loved him, no matter how much she had cared for him, and yearned to protect him - was gone. He was with ShinRa; she doubted the now ten year old boy even knew she existed.

Nathalia's husband moved forward and gently cupped Johnny's head, smiling at Nathalia and telling her that she had done a wonderful job.

Elena couldn't help feeling bitter, that this was how _her_ birth should have gone, how Kadaj should have treated _her_ as she lay on that hospital bed, sweat still streaking her face and hands.

The blonde woman ran her hands over her subtly-jutting stomach, and sighed. There would be no one there to hold her hand and kiss her when it came time for her to give birth. The most she could hope for were a few encouraging words from Gareth, or Nathalia, or Gareth's wife Brittany.

For the first time since she arrived in Nibelheim ... Elena felt the weight of what she had done, what she was still doing, hit her.

She was alone. She had no one to rely on but Gareth, no one to support her but Gareth, no one to protect her but Gareth. Without Gareth, her endeavour was a lost one. And, worse, ShinRa, the most powerful organisation on the Planet, would be after her, if they knew what she had done. They might kill her for knowingly hiding one of their number in an act that could be considered kidnapping. Jenova's Presence in her child meant she could never leave the protective borders of Nibelheim, not even once. Her child would be condemned to a life in the mountains, always hidden, always yearning for life outside the sleepy town.

One day, Elena knew, ShinRa would find them. The game would be up. The hunt would be over.

Silently, standing in the detached presence of her new friends and their child, Elena prayed. She prayed for as much time with her unborn child as possible; she prayed for a chance to love _this_ babe as she couldn't her previous. She prayed that whatever lay ahead, that she would be ready for it. That her child would be ready for it.

She prayed for sanity, and hope. She prayed for life, love, peace.

As she left the cottage and walked to the car, hands in her pockets and boots hitting gently against stray rocks, Elena Strife looked up at the pure blue sky above, the edged bordered by lunging mountains ... and prayed for freedom.

* * *

Soon, it was Elena's turn. Just as she had driven Nathalia to the midwife, Nathalia, her six-month old son in hand, drove Elena to the old woman, holding the steering wheel shakily while trying to recall the few lessons Elena had given her. As they drove past the Town Centre, Gareth and Brittany saw them pass, knew what it meant, and hurried after them as fast as their feet could carry them.

Labour was long, tiring, and painful as her contractions grew closer together. And as she lay there, waiting for the child to come, riding each wave of pain as is stuck her, she was not alone. Gareth was there, holding her hand. Brittany - though the two were not closer - was there also, wiping her forehead and smiling at her. Nathalia stood by her side, cradling her child and cooing meaningless words to both Johnny, and Elena.

When the child was finally born, Elena lay back on the thin mattress, eyes closed and heart racing. She could hear people rushing around her, hear voices and exclamations and footsteps, but she didn't acknowledge any of them, merely lay there panting and clenching her fists in the fabric beneath her.

"Elena?" she could recognise Gareth's voice, and gently edged her eyes open. He knelt beside her, his huge arms holding a tiny bundle of white, red and ... yellow? Leaning a little closer, she could see a bold tuft of hair, brightly yellow and protruding a little from the curved head. It was brighter than her own hair, though when she thought of the dark Turk - Vincent - who had sired him, she wondered where such a vibrant colour had come from, and could only think of Jenova, ShinRa's mystical ancestor.

"Is ..." Elena could barely find the strength to speak. It hadn't been like this last time, when Sephiroth was born. Perhaps ShinRa had given her medication, back then, to give her strength and help her through the birth. Whatever the cause, now, she felt as weak as a new born kitten.

"He's alright'," Gareth beamed, leaning forward a little to show her the tiny face, flecked with drying blood, eyes closed in sleep.

"H-He?" Elena tried to push herself up, but couldn't find the strength. Seeing this, Nathalia handed _her_ child to Brittany, before rushing forward to help.

"It's ah boy, Elena," Gareth confirmed while Nathalia supported her and helped her lean against the headboard.

"His ... eyes, do they ... glow?" Elena whispered, looking up at Gareth, fighting sleep and weariness. By the glowing lamps that scattered the room, it was past midnight in the lonely house - it had been mid-afternoon when her water had first broken.

"Yeah," Gareth replied in kind, looking down at her sadly. He knew that she had hoped, he knew what it meant for her and the babe if it was a ShinRa. "Big bloo eyes, Elena. Can' wait fo' yoo to see'em. They're beau'ifu'."

Elena smiled, and twitched her hand, reaching, and Gareth obliged, helping her cradle the sleeping boy.

"Wha're yoo gonna name 'im?" Nathalia urged quietly from her other side. Elena raised her eyes and met Nathalia's for just a moment before looking back down at her boy ... her ShinRa.

"... the day Johnny was born ... I prayed to the heavens that everything would be alright. I prayed that we - my child - would one day have freedom." Elena paused to gently brush her lips against the babe's forehead, despite the blood that lingered there. "In honour of that prayer ... I want to name him for the heavens. His name will be ... Cloud."

* * *

**Next: **Part Two, Chapter One: (Dreaming of) Revelry. _Cloud's life starts with a bang**. **_


	4. Part Two, Chapter One

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **We have now moved into the second Part of this story, and the baton passes to Cloud Strife. Most of the songs for this chapter are instrumentals, as I couldn't really find many songs that fit. Two songs which _do_ have words were chosen more for the music than the lyrics (Revelry has an awesome drum beat) ... though now, looking over them, a few of the lines fit.

Now, the accents from here on out will be fading into oblivion unless otherwise stated. Not that they don't _have_ accents ... but it is rather hard to write, and I believe it interrupts the flow of the events if you have to stop every second line to try and decipher what the characters are saying.

In a comment of complete irrelevance, while writing this chapter and simultaneously sunbathing, I lost track of time, and along with my older and younger sisters managed to obtain a rather gruesome sunburn across my back, and along the back of my knees (life is cruel) due to the lack of ozone layer above my humble country. All it took was two hours. Moral of the story; wear sunblock.

Oh - and Happy Halloween, everyone! Thank you very much for the lovely reviews, I sincerely hope that I continue to please.

**Music Listened to While Writing: '**Timeline (Choir)' and 'The Vision' by X-Ray Dog, 'Revelry' by Kings of Leon, 'Say Goodnight' by Bullet for My Valentine

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood**

**Chapter One: (Dreaming of) Revelry**

The moment the rising run hit the window sill, his eyes snapped open. For a moment, he paused, his young mind struggling to remember what was so important about this day. He could hear tiny footsteps outside his window, and pushed back the covers of his bed, stepping up to the thin glass and looking out to see Ferg, the goat his mother had been given as a gift when Cloud was born.

Cloud reached up to open the window, the biting morning chill only brushing his bare arms (he could never understand why his mother had to wear three or four layers every time she left the house.) The goat bleated softly and butted Cloud's small hand, before turning and trotting off, nuzzling clusters of coarse grass as she passed.

Cloud watched the goat go with fond, abnormally bright eyes of the deepest blue. His hair was bright yellow, sticking up in all directions, though long enough to brush his shoulders whenever he managed to tame it. It was the constant bane of his childhood, as his mother put it.

Mother. Elena. _School!_

Suddenly remembering _why_ today was so important, Cloud gasped and ran from his small room, leaving the door slamming behind him as his form blurred slightly with speed.

"Ma! _Ma!_" he cried as he ran into his mother's room, taking a running leap and falling in a heap at his mother's side. The thirty-one year old woman was still sleeping, though when Cloud landed and sent her bouncing, she groaned and opened one eye gently.

"Cloud?" she mumbled. "Why're _you_ up so early?"

"Ma! I start school today, remember?" Cloud beamed, bouncing a little on the springy bed. A glowing clock on Elena's bedside table revealed it to be just past six.

"Uh, that's right," Elena frowned a little, sitting up and pulling Cloud into a hug as she looked at the clock disapprovingly.

"Yeah! So - can I?"

"Can you what?" Elena bent her head to look at her son's face, her mind still warming up.

"Go see Tifa?"

Elena, as slow as ever in the mornings, blinked at the abrupt change in topics and observed her energetic son carefully.

"When? And why?"

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"After school, of course!" Cloud exclaimed, jumping from his mother's embrace and dancing across the floor to the door. Elena followed after unearthing a dressing gown from her closet, a bemused look on her face. "She wants to know what school's like cause she's not old enough to go yet, so she wants to know everything she can so when she can go to school too she can be ready and can I go feed Ferg?"

Elena paused for a moment, trying to decipher Cloud's overrun sentence, before dismissing all but the last few words.

"Sure, Cloudy," she grinned when the small boy huffed indignantly. "Just remember to only give her two bowls of oats. Gareth said she's been getting a little plump lately."

"Is Uncle Gareth coming?" Cloud gasped, standing before the front door dressed in his flannel pyjama pants, a singlet and nothing else, perfectly at ease with the cold demand of the mountain air.

"He's going to drop off Johnny, Drake and Eliah, remember?" Elena teased Cloud gently.

"Oh, yeah," Cloud smiled at his mother, before tugging the door open and bounding outside. The frost was inch-thick, though he only felt a refreshing coolness against his bare toes as he ran across the yard to the wood-and-metal hut Ferg lived in. A sack of oats was hidden just inside the door of the barn, and Cloud made a short stop to pour two cup-fulls into a metal bowl before continuing. As he neared the hut, he whistled sharply, and beamed when Ferg came trotting over. The goat nudged his arm as he laid the bowl down, and didn't object when the boy clipped a long lead onto her collar; Ferg was allowed to wander during the night, but at day, children would be coming from all over Nibelheim (though Cloud's mother told him that there were far _more_ children in the cities of the world, much to the boy's disbelief) and the resulting noise could startle Ferg into running away.

He couldn't wait for his first day of school; Elena had never let him into the school room during class time, saying that he would only be a distraction for the other children. Instead, he was usually left with Nathalia, Elena's closest friend, in the main house, playing with Johnny and fiddling with the electronic devices - like the small TV set, and sometimes an outdated laptop - that no one else in Nibelheim seemed to have.

Cloud pet Ferg twice on her furry head, smiling when Ferg butted gently against his touch once again, and skipped back to the house. Elena already had some clothes set out on the bed for him, and he pulled them on enthusiastically. He'd waited for so long to join the other students in his mother's school. Anticipation shivered down his spine when he heard distant footsteps announcing the arrival of the first few students, and set his spoon down in his empty bowl.

Today, was going to be _great_.

* * *

When school broke out for a lunch break, Cloud was the last one to join the other children outside, glancing over his shoulder to smile at his mother before leaving. There were fourteen children in Nibelheim at the moment that were old enough to go to school. The eldest was Luci, a girl in her late teens who - according to Elena - only stayed on at the school to put off doing her Aunt's profession of home medicine. The youngest, after Cloud, was Johnny at six years old, with the other eleven children scattered between.

As it is with most - if not all - schools, the children had fallen into their natural clichés and groups. Cloud, who knew Johnny best of all the children, spent his time with the pretentious boy. Luci spent her spare hours talking to two girls and a boy of similar age, comparing notes and exchanging what little gossip could be found in a town as small an Nibelheim. Drake, one of the boys in the nine to twelve, prepubescent age, was standing by the iron hut that concealed Ferg, tapping against it with his two friends standing behind him, caught in Drake's discussion.

Cloud, from the opposite end of the cordoned off yard could hear every word perfect.

"Y'know, this was supposed to be _my_ goat," Drake announced suddenly, his slight accent giving his words a quick drawl where Elena's rounded the vowels and articulated every letter. Cloud could never figure out why his classmates and his mother spoke so differently. He'd been told by his mother that she had a Midgar accent, while the children had a NIbelheim accent. Cloud himself had a bizarre mix between the two, and found neither accent strange to listen to, nor hard to understand. Despite this, the Nibelheimers claimed he had a Midgar accent, while his mother said he spoke with a distinct Nibelheim tinge. Cloud often found the debate amusing, and pointless, when it sprung up; sometimes, he feared he would never understand why it mattered whether he talked strangely or not.

"My mum gave this goat to Miss Strife when _Cloudy-kins-_" he spoke the name bitterly, and for the first time, Cloud felt the true weight of ... dislike, "-came along. But before that, it was gonna be my tenth birthday present, along with any kids she had." Drake's face contorted suddenly, visible even to Cloud from where he stood so far away. Before Cloud could move, Drake's foot swung out and kicked the rippled metal viciously.

"The goat was supposed to be a present from my Granddad,' Drake continued, his eyes darkening while his friends began to exchange worried looks. "He died last Wednesday, and it's my tenth birthday in a few weeks." Drake glared at the pitted soil that paved the ground around Ferg's lair. "It was meant to be _mine ... _"

Cloud may have been young .. but even he knew evil intent when he saw it. And evil intent was written - no, _carved_ - into Drake's face. An intent, Cloud realised, that had always been there, but that had only been realised when recent events - the death of Drake's well known Grandfather - had pushed him.

"Ferg!" Drake called in a sickly-sweet voice, leaning over the hut and peering in through to the dark interior. A chain dribbled out from the shadows, indicating Ferg's presence. "C'mere, Ferg!"

"Drake, I don't think we should be doing this..." one of the boy's friends said uneasily, looking over his shoulder ... and right at Cloud. The boy's eyes widened when he saw Cloud watching, and he tapped Drake's other friend, who had been watching Elena flit about from child to child.

"Oi! That boy's watching - the new one, with the weird eyes! I think he's Miss Strife's son! Y'know, the one everyone talks about!" the first boy hissed to the other, fear obvious in his voice.

Cloud had never understood what was so wrong about having "different" eyes. He knew that they glowed, and that eyes weren't supposed to glow ... but as far as that, he knew no more. He'd asked his mother, time and time again, _why_ it was bad ... but every single time, without fail, she would skirt about the question, tell him some nonsense about eating too many carrots, and assure him that when he was older, she could tell him. Cloud couldn't help but wonder if his eyes were the reason he could see things so far away, and so clearly; if they were the reason he could hear things others couldn't; if they were the reason he could run so fast...

Cloud knew there was something his mother wasn't telling him. Somehow, he felt that it was to keep him safe ... but he couldn't help thinking that keeping something like this - something so obviously important - from him, would only lead to trouble later.

"Drake! Miss Strife's kid is watching us!" Drake's friend once again whispered, and Cloud's heart picked up a beat when he saw Drake merely sneer and lean further into the hut.

"So? Serves him right, one of _them_ coming to our town, endangering us all-"

"Drake, _shh_, he'll hear us!"

"Fine, let him hear! His kind loose control easy, don't they? Maybe he'll attack me," Drake's eyes, strangely, lit up at the prospect. "Then the Mayor will have no choice but to kick 'em out!"

"What on Planet do you have against them in the first place, Drake?" the second of his friends asked in exasperation. "My mum told me he's nothing to be afraid of, even if he _is_ a Shin-"

"Loui! Kas, Look!" Drake cut his friends off, his face flushed in excitement when Ferg trotted from her hut naively. "Time to finally get my money's worth."

Cloud took a step forward, but before he could move any closer, Drake took Ferg's chain firmly in both hands, and tugged sharply.

Ferg lurched her front legs buckling a little, and Cloud gasped, staggering forward a few steps.

"Cloud? Cloud, what s it?" Johnny asked from where he sat against the side of the barn. Seeing that his younger friend's attention had been caught by something, Johnny stood and warily followed Cloud's line of sight.

To see Drake, and Loui, and Kas, all standing around Ferg ... tugging on her hair, yanking her lead this way and that, prodding her, laughing at her.

"Miss Strife!" Johnny cried when Cloud left his side and started towards Ferg and her tormenters. "_Miss Strife!_"

"Johnny, what is it?" Having caught the distinct panic in the boy's voice, Elena rushed over and leant down a little to meet Johnny's eyes. She turned to see what he was staring at so fixedly, and cried out in alarm when she realised what was happening.

"Drake - no!" she shouted across the yard. The children had gone silent, all eyes drawn to the drama that was playing out before them. Drake and his friends remained oblivious to the attention that was suddenly bestowed on them; Cloud ignored the eyes he could feel following him. Ferg was in trouble. She was angry. Soon, she would lose control. And someone could get hurt.

He had to get Drake and the others away from her.

"Drake!" Cloud's small voice roared as best a five year old could. "Get away from her!"

"Make me!" Drake laughed triumphantly back, poking Ferg's head firmly.

Ferg's beady eye looked up, met Drake's laughing face ... then, suddenly, her foot lashed out and struck the boy square in the knee. A sickening crack broke the silence. Drake's eyes widened as he stared down at the misshapen joint in confusion. Then, everything came rushing back, and he fell to his good knee, howling in pain.

Loui and Kas jumped back, crying out, trying to get away from Ferg's suddenly thrashing, bucking, kicking form, but they knew they had been to slow to react, caught off guard by Drake's scream of pain.

Then, the two felt small hands latch onto their arms, throwing them back in dismissal.

From where they now lay sprawled on the ground, Loui and Kas watched in astonishment as Cloud stormed past. Even as nothing more than a child ... he struck an impressive form, his hands punched at his side, his eyes glowing brighter than ever before, his tiny frame shaking in anger and ...desperation?

"Drake, get away from her!" Cloud screamed, catching Drake's flailing arm in both hands and dragging him across the broken terrain. Drake cried out when the movement shifted his obviously broken knee, and again when one of Ferg's hooves struck him in the shoulder, but didn't fight Cloud as the boy heaved him from the range of Ferg's metal leash.

Elena rushed over from where she had stood, frozen, while Cloud dropped Drake and flopped to the ground beside him. Ferg strained against her chain, hooves surging, bleating angrily, eyes mad and rolling. Loui and Kas pushed themselves to their feet and stumbled over to Cloud and Drake's unmoving forms. The other children were approaching too, cautiously, for Ferg had yet to calm.

"Cloud!" Elena breathed, rolling her son over to see his face blinking up at her wearily.

"Cloud, are you alright?" she reached out and brushed her fingers across his swelling lip. Cloud licked said lip, and was surprised to taste metallic blood; he must have done it when he collapsed.

"M'fine..." he sighed. "But Drake's not." Cloud turned to see Luci, the midwife's niece, crouching over Drake and pressing his leg softly. For all that the girl didn't want to be Nibelheim's next resident healer, she was doing an extraordinary job of becoming one. "He's really heavy..." Cloud added, his words slurring a little. Dragging Drake the fifteen or so meters away from Ferg's hut had been draining, though at the time he hadn't felt tired at all - if anything, he had never felt more alive. He had felt his blood roaring through his veins, his senses had been sharper than ever before. Throwing Drake's friends aside had been easy, like ripping tissue paper. Only now, after, did Cloud question _where_ that strength had come from.

Elena stroked Cloud's hear in worry. The boy's eyes were closing, he was obviously exhausted, the adrenaline rush - though she wasn't quite sure that that is what it was - had deserted him. She could only hope he hadn't done anything to alert ShinRa of his presence here. That would truly be a disaster.

* * *

The children had been sent home early, despite Johnny's pleas to stay with Cloud. All, except for Darke, Loui and Kas, that is. Luci, too, had stayed the rest of the day, until Drake's father appeared to take the invalid boy home, where Luci's aunt could look after him better, and administer a cast and some pain relief.

Loui and Kas, on the other hand, had been made to talk to Elena as hey sat side-by-side on her couch, recounting every moment of the dramatic encounter that led to Drake's injury and Cloud's current exhaustion. Finally, the boys' parents came and took them, promising Elena to give them a firm talking-to when they got home.

And then Elena was free to worry about Cloud.

As she watched him sleep, she again marvelled at the amazing feat Cloud had accomplished. The boy was so small for his age, yet he had dragged Drake along as if the older boy was a quarter his size, rather than nearly twice as large. Elena had seen as her tiny son stormed over a ghost of his future, of what could have been. She had seen a ghost of the ShinRa she knew Cloud was destined to become.

* * *

"Sir! I have discovered an unknown ShinRa in the Western Continent," one of the technicians announced, pulling his headset off to talk to the on-duty ShinRa that oversaw the technology-rich room. There was a tall map of the entire of the Planet, bleeping blue dots shimmering across the earthy brown representation of the land. This screen took much, if not all, of the far wall. At various desks, all facing the "Master" screen, almost fifty humans sat before glowing consoles, manning smaller portions of the original map, magnified so that the dots were large enough to see the names attatched to them. Each of the blue dots represented one of ShinRa's descent, the lightness of the blue indicating the intensity of Jenova's presence. The blue was strongest in concentration around the city of Midgar; in fact, Midgar alone had it's own large scale map, rotating softly so that the individual layers - the slums, and the plate above them - could be identified.

Midgar's screen was so large, and had so many ShinRa - over ten thousand in the Upper Plate alone - that they had not one, but three technicians studying the map, watching the flow of ShinRa to and fro the city, and checking each accompanying name against a smaller screen below that had a log of authorised missions and ventures of ShinRa.

In contrast, the smallest screen in the room - hidden away in the corner, manned by only one, green technician - was Nibelheim. The satellite's famous blind spot, the map hadn't been active, not even once, since the satellite's launch a few decades ago. The only indication of Nibelheim's existence were the small white words "Nibelheim: Population, 0" that scrolled the base of the screen. All other cities of the world, even the most remote, had at least one ShinRa in residence. Nibelheim ... had none. Considered by ShinRa to be a dead land, the only recognition they gave the sleepy town was the annual visit by one of the lower-ranked Turks, or even once a SOLDIER Cadet nearing her graduation when the supply of Turks had been "short."

"What do you mean?" the on-duty SOLDIER frowned, moving to stand behind the nervous human. The other technicians, curious about the bespectacled man in the corner they had never bothered to notice before, gave the SOLDIER and the stranger man glancing looks.

"I was watching the monitor, as I always do ... sir," the man added nervously, having never dealt with ShinRa this personally before. He could feel the ShinRa's looming presence behind him, and gulped nervously. "A-at approximately 1305 hours, local time, I saw a faint blue light h-here," he pointed to a spot just to the east of what was identified as the town centre. "It moved slightly, and it's g-glow intensified as time passed. Then, suddenly, approximately three minute a-after it's appearance, it vanished." The technician blinked up at the impassive ShinRa, then suddenly remembered what he had forgotten. "Sir."

"Interesting," the ShinRa sighed, drawing back and contemplating the now black screen with distant interest. "Nibelheim is notorious for it's ... _suppression_ of Jenova's legacy. Only a very, _very_ powerful ShinRa could have shown on that radar ... but if it were so powerful, it would have always shown, rather than only fleetingly." The SOLDIER sighed again. "I must speak with my superiors about this."

* * *

_Extract from Report: A8v9H16cp_

_... under recommendation of SOLIDER, 2nd Class Lazard, two Turks were dispatched to investigate Nibelheim, Western Continent (link) for any of ShinRa descent. After staying a duration of three days, conducting numerous interrogations with the Human leader of the town, and searching the surrounding area, the results were ..._

* * *

"Elena! They're gone now; you and Cloud can leave the safe-house," a shout echoed through the forest, followed by a faint rustle. Then, a springy mop of bright yellow hair fell to the ground, and started rolling.

"Woo!" Cloud whooped as he tumbled across the ground, having fallen easily the three or four meters from the hut Gareth and some of the other village members had constructed for Elena in case of discovery. The hut was built in the branches of one of the large, beautiful ever-green trees in the forests surrounding Nibelheim, and was fully equipped with non-perishable stores of food, blankets, water, and a few gas heaters for cooking, warmth and light. It was the first time they had needed the safe-house since Elena and Cloud had come to Nibelheim.

Cloud came to a still at Gareth's feet, beaming up at the tall man and laughing in exilleration. "That was _so_ _fun_!" Cloud crowed, leaping to his feet and going to run back to the safe-house. "I wanna do it aga- _oof!_"

"Not so fast, little one," Gareth chuckled as he wrapped his arm around Cloud, stopping the struggling boy from running. "I don't think your mother would appreciate it if you started jumping out of trees."

"That's right, young man," Elena said sternly as she finished climbing down from the safe-house, a bag of clothes and essentials slung over one shoulder. "I don't want you doing _anything_ dangerous, do you understand?" Elena didn't want to risk Cloud strengthening his Jenova Presence any further, fearful that, next time, ShinRa would find them, and take him away from her.

"O-kaaay," Cloud groaned, still straining against Gareth's unsurprisingly strong hold.

"Promise?"

"_Promise._" Cloud adopted the same, serious tone that Elena had, realising that something was going on here that he didn't fully understand, knowing only that it was, somehow, important. "Can we go home now?" Cloud asked, tilting his head back to look at his mother and honorary uncle, Gareth.

"Sure, Cloudy," Elena brushed Cloud's hair back, and took his tiny hand in her soft one, leading the boy down the slope to where their borrowed farmland bordered the forest. "Let's go home."

* * *

The next day, school started again. Drake wasn't there, still recovering from his injury, but Loui and Kas were. As soon as break started, they rushed to see Cloud, tripping over their words in their haste to apologise.

"I'm so sorry, Cloud-"

"If I'd known-"

"We should have never-"

"How can we make it up to-"

"You saved our _lives_-"

"Thank you so much-"

"We're so sorry!"

Cloud blinked at the two, slightly in shock from the onslaught of noise that had fallen to him. Johnny, behind him, nudged Cloud softly to respond.

"I ... uh ... it's ... okay," Cloud blushed a little, smiling shyly. "You're ... uh ... forgiven."

"Thank you!" Loui and Kas cried in union, lurching forward and hugging Cloud tightly. Cloud gasped slightly in surprise, then smiled and relaxed, wrapping his arms around the two older boys in relief.

The rest of the students looked on curiously, and in relief. They all knew that if Cloud hadn't done what he had, no one else would have got there in time - or had the courage to do anything at all - and the three boys likely wouldn't be alive. At least, they would have been grievously injured. Drake had got off light, they all knew this. And so, the children of Nibelheim grew to be grateful to Cloud, for saving three of their number from their stupidity. Cloud's actions were passed to their parents, until all of Nibelheim knew what the brave boy had done.

And it was then that Nibelheim stopped seeing Cloud as a ShinRa, and started seeing him as one of their own. As a Nibelheimer. As family.

* * *

**Next:** Part Two, Chapter Two: Forever. _Cloud and his friends explore the boundaries and deepen the bonds of comradeship. _


	5. Part Two, Chapter Two

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **I apologise for being slightly later than expected. I got a haircut.

This chapter has undergone major renovations over four times, the plot changing completely every time. It _is _a filler, but it still has key points in the plot that need to be covered. I simply couldn't find the right way to cover them. The original plans for this chapter were a little different, so the music doesn't _quite_ fit the happenings. Again, the songs were chosen more for their music than the lyrics.

Now, **this chapter is not up to the best of my abilities**. Stress, insomnia, sleepy-ness and a very attached, very _large_ cat are contributing factors, but I really have no excuse. Sorry in advance.

Exams. Ah, exams. And these ones count, too! Now, the exams start in just under a week's time. And I still haven't started studying yet. This means that for the next fortnight, updates will be slow, if even existent, due to my increasingly pressing need to stop procrastinating and learn something. I hope you can relate, and understand.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Forever' and 'Breathe Into Me' by Red, 'Dance, Dance' by Fall Out Boy, 'So I Need You' by Three Doors Down, 'Alien' by Tokio Hotel (Most of these are irrelevant to the plot line.)

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood**

**Chapter Two: Forever**

"Cloud! Where _are _you?"

"You know that's not gonna work, Tif'."

"_Cloud!_"

"Look, I'll help you find him, but I don't think he's gonna come out just 'cause you ask him too."

Cloud grinned impishly from where he was perched in the branches of a nearby pine. He could imagine the pout on Tifa's face as she stubbornly looked for her hiding friend. The three - Cloud, Tifa and Johnny - had been playing hide-and-seek for half an hour in the sharp chill of Saturday morning, but Tifa still had not found him. Johnny had been caught ten minutes after starting, much to Cloud's amusement. Now the pair were stubbornly hunting the six-year old blonde, though with little luck.

Cloud was just considering jumping from his perch and startling the unaware duo beneath him, when his left foot shifted and snagged against a piece of loose bark with a sharp _snap!_ Cloud winced.

Johnny's head shot up, followed swiftly by Tifa's.

"Cloud!" Tifa cried ecstatically at having found her elusive friend. "Found ya!"

Cloud laughed and dropped easily from the high tree, dusting himself off while ignorant of the quick look the other two shared.

"Let's go back," Cloud suggested when his head was raised once again, beaming at Tifa and Johnny. "Maybe Mrs Stile will give us another sugar donut!"

Tifa sqeualed in delight, and even Johnny looked a little happier at the prospect.

"Okay, Cloudy," Tifa giggled when Cloud shot her an annoyed glare at using his mother's pet name for him. "But _only_ if we can go to the Mansion after!"

Cloud groaned.

"The Mansion, _again_?" he moaned in exasperation. "We're not _allowed_ to go there, Tifa, I don't wanna get in trou-"

"_You're _just scared!" Tifa taunted him, poking her tongue out like the child she was. "You're _scared_ of the ghosts and monsters and - and dragons and stuff!" Tifa looked pleased with herself as Cloud shot her another look.

"I"m not _scared_," he protested weakly. "I'm just doing what Ma says. 'Cause she said I'm not allowed to leave Nibelheim, and the Mansion is outside Nibelheim, and-"

"The Mansion is _not_ "outside Nibelheim"," Tifa rolled her eyes. "It's only a really short walk from Daddy's work. Anyway, why aren't you allowed out of Nibelheim? Kinda weird, donchya think?"

It was Cloud's turn to sigh. "She says it's too dangerous..."

"She's just being stupid! There's nothing _wrong_ with going to the Mansion, only for a teensy little bit? Please, Cloud?"

"I dun-" he was stopped suddenly when a stern hand fell on his elbow.

"Cloud, help me for a bit."

Cloud looked up and around to see the familiar - and unwanted - sight of Tifa's mother, Brittany. Brittany and he hadn't spoken many times, but the few times they had met, Cloud had been shocked and offended at the low regard she seemed to hold him - and no one else - in. It was as if Brittany thought he was somehow inferior to the rest of Nibelheim. As if she thought he wasn't worth of the respect Brittany gave the rest of the small town.

Cloud couldn't help but think that it had something to do with the only thing that made him different. His eyes.

"Mrs Lockheart, I really need to be getting home," Cloud objected in a small voice, even as Brittany dragged him over to the Town Hall where she worked as her husband's secretary. Brittany merely huffed a little, tightened her grip, and dragged him along a little faster.

"Bye, Cloud!" Tifa called after him, waving happily, while Johnny's dark, worried eyes followed his friend.

"Ugh, Mrs Lockheart!" Cloud protested when he tripped on the top-most stair. "What did you want me to help you with? Why me, why not get Mr Gra-"

"I need someone of _your_ kind, for all the trouble they bring, they do have their moments," Brittany muttered absently, banging the doors open.

"_My_ kind?" Cloud didn't try to fight Brittany - his mother had taught him to help others in need, whether they were grateful for it or not. "What do you mean?"

"ShinRa, of course!" Brittany snorted at the boy bitterly. "Barely human, _aliens_, they are. Animals."

Cloud stared up at her.

"Sh-ShinRa?" he squeaked. "I-I-I'm _ShinRa_?"

"-ungrateful, the lot of them, don't belong in our world. Not even _human-_" Brittany was muttering, heedless of the mind-bomb she had just dropped on the tiny boy. Trembling, Cloud jerked his arm from Brittany's hold.

"I'm ... ShinRa," he whispered.

Everything made sense now.

His eyes. His strength. How he had managed to pull Drake and his friends away all those months ago. His speed - Elena had often berated him for out-running her when they went walking around town. His sight. His hearing. His sense of smell. His unfailing sense of direction. Must most of all, the eyes. _Everything_ made sense, now...

Elena had told them about ShinRa when he was just a few months into school. A lot of it hadn't made sense - dominant alleles, enhanced proteins, additional chromosomes and alkaline tendencies, none of it made sense to the young boy - but what he had understood was this.

ShinRas were about as human as a Golden Chocobo. Less, even. ShinRa weren't from this Planet. And if Mrs Lockheart was correct ... ShinRa didn't belong here.

_He_ didn't belong here.

Why, _why_ hadn't Elena told him?

Was it to keep him safe? Or to keep him ignorant? Was she _experimenting_ with him? Was she even his real mother, or had she kidnapped him like those fairy-tales she still read to him some nights?

Cloud sobbed as he ran from the Town Hall, ignoring the worried faces of his lingering friends and sprinting faster than he ever had before. When he reached home, he threw the gate open - ignoring how the aged wood cracked - and threw the door open.

"Why didn't you tell me!?" he yelled when he saw Elena still hunched over the dining table.

"Cloud-?" Elena was shocked, bewildered, hurt, as she looked down at the enraged child.

"Why didn't you _tell me _I was ShinRa!?"

Elena paled and gasped, dropping the pen she was holding and rushing over to Cloud, only to see the Child skip away angrily, glaring at her with dangerously glowing eyes. If she didn't calm him down soon, the adrenaline would call attention to his Jenova Presence, and they would be at threat from ShinRa once again.

"Cloudy, please-"

"Don't call me that! I bet you aren't even my real Ma, aren't you? Is _Cloud_ even my real _name_?"

Those words hurt more than Elena would ever admit. To have her child - her beloved child - ask her if he was even hers ... hurt. She could remember every week spent when she bore him, even wave of pain when she birthed him, every sleepless night and rewarding moment of his childhood thus far. And to have him blatantly _question_ that ... she trembled in anger, and hopelessness, and pain.

Cloud looked up at his mother's eyes ... and saw the effect his words had on her. He saw the anger, and the hopelessness, and the pain, and he _hated_ that he had been the one to put them there.

"I ..." he whirled, and tore from the room, even while his mother - his _mother_ - yelled after him to come back, _please_, come back.

Cloud heard her, but he didn't do what she asked. He didn't like to admit it ... he was scared. He was shocked. He felt betrayed, and angry, but all the while guilty at feeling such things.

His mother had lied to him, his whole life. She had let him down.

So now, _he_ was going to let _her_ down.

* * *

"Psst! Tifa?"

"Cloud?" Tifa whirled to see Cloud perched at her window, frowning grimly. "What's wro-"

"Let's go."

"Huh?"

"The Mansion, let's go!"

"But - Cloud-!"

"Don't be a scardey-cat," Cloud taunted her, his eyes gleaming a little. "You wanted to go to the Mansion, didn't you? So let's go!"

Tifa's face shifted from puzzled and unsure, to bright and excited.

"Alright!" she grinned smugly, dancing over to one half of the colourful room. There, she picked out a pair of boots and a bright parka, before running out of the room and down the corridor. Cloud dropped down from the window and walked around to meet her at the back door of her home. Grinning at each other in shared excitement, in thrill at breaking the rules, they ran off into the forest, the sun just reaching it's peak as the leaves closed in over them and rolling clouds began to creep. Soon, all that was left of their venture were the broken twigs and crushed leaves, whisked away by an adventurous breeze that had picked up.

Back at her family-run Bakery and Vegetable shop, Mrs Stile shivered and looked up at the ominously hanging clouds above.

* * *

Elena sighed and pressed her forehead to the hard wood, shivered slightly as her hands bunched at either side of her head.

All she'd wanted was to keep him safe.

But everything had blown up in her face, every good intent had been throw back with seeds of anger strewn among them. Everything she'd worked for, was starting to slip through her fingers like sand.

Cloud had left the room, a blur - though from speed, or tears, she didn't know - and she had felt her heart breaking.

A deep thunder-clap made her heart tremble. For a moment, she thought she had only imagined the tremor, her sorrowful mind presenting her with a physical incarnation of her feelings, but then she saw the cold coffee-cup on the table next to the half-marked paper, and frowned at the brown, shaking liquid. The tiny waves lapped at the sides, but before Elena could ponder any further, the entire room was lit with a sharp blue tint, followed immediately by another clap of thunder.

Eye widening, Elena looked out the nearest window to see the first drops of rain starting to soak the coarse ground. Ferg bleated forlornly and retreated into her metal shack, beady eyes watching the sky warily.

"Cloud," Elena breathed, wincing as another lightning-thunder combination echoed through the valley. "Oh, Planet, Cloud!"

Snatching a jacket hanging beside the door, she threw on her boots, and started running.

* * *

"This place is a lot creepier than I though it would be," Tifa admitted reluctantly as the two walked loudly down the empty corridor.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, more to break the oppressive silence than anything else. There were cobwebs in the corners, on the walls, and dust piled inches thick on everything they saw.

The Mansion had - supposedly - been one of the first buildings in Nibelheim, belonging to one of the old Gaian Nobles centuries ago. Nibelheim itself was said to be a village constructed for the sole purpose of supporting the Mansion, the homes of the servants and slaves that served the Noblemen that lived there. The old Mansion was built from weathered stone and ancient wood that was supposed to have rotted years ago, yet strangely hadn't. The rooms were all at empty as the next, the walls blackened with ash of the Great Fire that had wiped out entire generations of Nibelheimers years passed. It was that same fire that had killed the Nobles that lived in the Mansion, and all that remained of the village were the servants, who decided to stay in the valley of the mountain, and prosper on land that perhaps hadn't quite been won lawfully.

Cloud ran his hand along one of the said walls, sneezing at the black soot that rubbed onto his skin and filled the air with its dust. This place was old. Very, very old.

"Oh! Cloud - look!" Tifa gasped, eyes catching on a golden wall brace - probably designed to hold candles - that had melted into rippling waves that cascaded down the wall beautifully. Staring, captivated, Tifa ran towards it and reached out to touch it.

Just before her fingers her about to brush the tarnished gold, Cloud felt the ground tremble beneath him in a distant growl of thunder.

"Tifa!" Cloud called loudly. "I don't think we should be-"

A second, deep-felt rumbled followed the first, followed sharply by an ominous, sharp crack. Tifa's fingers brushed against the dull gold. Cloud's eyes widened.

And then the world collapsed around them.

* * *

"Have you seen Cloud?" Elena asked Gareth desperately. Gareth looked at her searchingly for a moment, before shaking his head slowly.

"Why're you looking for him?" Gareth frowned slightly.

Elena ducked in under the jutting roof of the Town Hall, and looked over the street, where rain was now falling steadily.

"He ... he found out. About his ... legacy. He got angry, and ran away. Then the storm started, and ..." Elena took a steadying breath, closing her eyes and shaking slightly. "I just ... know that something bad is going to happen."

Gareth opened his mouth to open, but before he could the sky was illuminated painfully brightly, and an arc of light was seen to flicker against the tip of Mount Nibel. Nibelheim felt the ground tremble beneath them, and Elena reached out to sturdy herself against one of the pillars of the Town Hall.

Then an almighty crash echoed down the valley. Elena gasped, and followed Gareth in running out onto the street, ignoring the insistent drumming of the rain. Following his eyes, she saw a distant, faint cloud of dust rising from what she had once known to be the Mansion.

"Cloud?" she whispered, stepping forward once. Then, seconds later, a child's scream reached her ears. Gareth gasped when he heard it, faint and distant, but still definable.

"Tifa," he murmured. The two exchanged looks, briefly, then set off at a run down an old path that led to the broken Mansion.

* * *

"Cloud? _Cloud_?"

Cloud stirred to the softest whisper, his eyes fluttering open. The cold floor he lay on was damp, and he shivered as a chilling cold seeped into him, shifting unconsciously towards the only other source of warmth in the cold space, a tiny, soft shape beside him.

"_Cloud!?_"

"Tif'?" Cloud murmured in response. He heard a choked sob of relief, and turned his head in the darkness, his glowing eyes illuminating the shadows slightly. "You alright?"

"Cloud, it's so dark in here. It's scary," Tifa breathed. Cloud could hear something shifting, and felt something - someone - press tighter against his side.

"Where are we?" Cloud asked, trying to push himself into a sitting position, but instead hitting his forehead against something cold and hard above him. "Ow! What happened?"

"The Mansion broke," Tifa announced in a tiny voice. "And we're trapped in it."

Cloud closed his eyes in horror, shuddering softly. He could hear rock and old, rotten wood creaking above him, and felt sweat bead on his forehead when he thought of the immense weight that was collapsed above him - them.

"Cloud, are we gonna be okay?" Tifa nudged him gently. Cloud took a deep, steadying breath.

"We're gonna be fine," he croaked hoarsely. "They're probably looking for us, right now. We're gonna be okay, promise."

They were silent for a few minutes, trembling in cold and fear, shuddering at each deep rumble of thunder that threatened to collapse the rubble over them. Water dripped down onto their heads from above, making them twitch and flinch sharply at their icy coldness.

"Cloud?"

"Yes, Tifa?" The two spoke in whispers, though neither knew why. Cloud's eyes ghosted down to meet Tifa's in the dark, and the girl sighed a little when she met the luminous blue orbs.

"I ... I'm scared. What if they don't come?"

"They're coming Tifa, don't worry. Just be quiet."

"But what if-"

"Just be quiet, Tifa, they're _going to come!_"

Tifa flinched at Cloud's loud, impatient voice, and pushed away from him, nudging against a length of stone as she did. A great moan echoed around them, and Tifa whimpered, pressing herself back against Cloud. The ShinRa felt himself shudder, taking as deep breaths as he could, but still finding himself lacking the air to think coherently.

"Please, hurry, Ma," Cloud closed his eyes and focused on the beating of his heart, of Tifa's, trying to distract himself from the increasing fear that they wouldn't come quick enough, and that he and the tiny girl would be crushed by the overwhelming weight that hung over them. _No ... don't think about that ..._

Tifa's hands were sweaty over his own, slippery, yet so tight he could feel his circulation cutting away. He didn't care; all he did was cling to her just as tight, heedless of the bruises they were both leaving.

Cloud gasped suddenly when he heard, no, _felt_, the tiny, _tiny_ vibrations of footsteps above him. The walls quivered imperceptibly.

"They're here," Cloud breathed in relief, looking down at Tifa, who smiled waveringly up at him. "See? It's gonna be alright."

"Daddy! _Daddy!_" Tifa screamed, coughing when her movement woke dust that had settled over them. "Daddy?!"

"Tifa? Is that you? Tifa, where are you?!" Cloud's enhanced hearing strained to hear the distant voice, but he recognised it at Gareth easily enough, his loud voice almost drowned out by the pattering of rain against the outside ground.

"Ma? Are you there?" Cloud shouted for all his worth, and was rewarded by Elena's gasp, and footsteps that picked their way closer.

"Cloud, hold on, Cloud, we're going to get you out, okay? Just be brave, we'll find a way, sweetie."

Cloud sobbed a little when he heard the concern in her voice. Just half an hour ago, he had been screaming at her, anger in his voice. But here she was, still caring for him, still loving him. He didn't deserve her. Planet, he loved her so much ... now, all he wanted to do was live to tell her that.

The rubble above them shifted noisily, and Cloud and Tifa tensed, thinking that it was about to collapse, and that it had all been for nothing. Then, the tiniest beam of light struck them, and they both gasped at the pain, having lain in darkness with only Cloud's eyes for so long, that real light was painful to behold.

"Daddy?"

"Hold on, Tif'. I'll just move this-" With a huge grunt, the duo heard Gareth heave something aside. The rock around them trembled, and a larger gap appeared above them. But before Cloud even had chance to blink, the chocobo-sized stone that held the rubble at bay, that kept them alive ... cracked.

Tifa screamed when she heard the resonating sound, and Cloud's eyes snapped over, blinking away sweat.

"_No!_" he screamed, grabbing Tifa and throwing her towards the light, edging away from the stone that seemed to crumble at half the speed he would expect. He reached over and thrust Tifa through the barely-there space Gareth had cleared, throwing himself after her before the broken half of the supporting rock had hit the ground.

The sunlight burned, but Cloud pushed past the tears that streamed and shoved Tifa away, seeing huge, pale hands that reached to catch her. He clambered up out of the fissure in the pile of broken stone that had once been a Mansion, a castle, and gasped when he felt the uneven floor he stood on being to shake, dipping a little as it rushed to fill the space he and Tifa had lain in. The rain soaked Cloud through within moments, his usually springy hair flattening, grey from dust and dirt.

"Cloud!" Elena rushed over, and gathered Cloud in her arms, stroking his hair and sobbing into his shoulder, kneeling down so she could reach. "Oh, thank Planet you're alright..."

"Elena, we should get out of here, in case it moves again," Gareth's deep voice broke their reunion from where he stood, Tifa cupped in his hands as he held her to his chest. "We don't want any more accidents, do we?"

Cloud and Tifa flushed slightly, sharing a guilty look, but followed their parents obligingly, clinging to their hands tightly, unwilling to let go.

The four were soon sitting in Tifa's room, the two children sharing Tifa's bed as they shivered and coughed; they had lain so long in the cold and damp, that sickness could only be inevitable. Elena sat at their side, holding warm towels to their foreheads and slipping hot-water bottles under the blankets. Tifa and Cloud huddled together for warmth, clean now that they had taken their turn washing in Gareth's legendary shower.

"Oh, you silly, silly children," Elena told them fondly, having heard their retelling of the story. "Don't you ever, _ever_ do that again, okay?" The threat was softened by her quiet, loving tone, and Cloud smiled at his mother happily, sleepily.

"M'kay, Ma. I won't."

"I won't, either," TIfa was quick to add, glancing at her father, who was standing at the foot of the bed and watching the two sternly. Brittany, upon hearing the aliment that had befallen the two, had offered to go to the midwife, after a quick glare at the ShinRa, Cloud.

Gareth nodded solemnly at the two, closing his eyes in relief that they were alright.

"...Ma?" Cloud asked, looking up at this mother and sniffing sharply.

"Yes, Cloudy?"

Cloud smiled at the nickname, but continued with what he was going to say.

"I ... am I really a ... ShinRa?" He whispered the last word, as if it were Taboo, and watched sadly as his mother's smile fell.

"Cloud ... look, you have to understand ... your father was ... a Turk. A ShinRa. So yes ... you are one. But - look at me, Cloud." She paused, waiting until his eyes met hers. "_That doesn't change anything_. I still love you Cloud, more than anything. You are my _life_, and nothing is ever going to change that. Everything I do, I do - and will keep doing - to protect you, and keep you safe from them. I won't let them take you away from me, Cloud."

"Is that why we live here, in Nibelheim?" Cloud asked at length, lowering his eyes.

"Yes," Elena smiled, smoothing back her son's damp hair and kissing his warm forehead softly.

"But ... what about _your_ family?" Cloud looked up at Elena, frowning slightly. "Won't they be worrying about you?"

Elena looked down, and away.

"The last time I saw my family was when they came to see me off at ShinRa Tower. They won't want me anymore, not with a ShinRa in tow. But that doesn't matter to me, Cloud. I don't care. As long as you are with me, it doesn't matter. You. Are. My. Son. And you are my life."

Cloud glowed as he smiled up at his mother, glowed under the raw love she showered on him.

"Thanks, Ma," he muttered, eyelids drooping as he began the descent into sleep. "Love you, too."

Elena combed her fingers through his hair once more, then stood and walked over to join Gareth at the end of the bed, watching the two children sleep with content smiles on their faces. They were alive, unhurt and safe. Everything was alright.

In years to come, Elena would looked back on this night, this thought, and sigh. If only it could have stayed that way forever.

* * *

**Next: **Part Two, Chapter Three: Falling. _Cloud and Tifa brave the outdoors; everything changes. _


	6. Part Two, Chapter Three

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **As stated in the previous chapter, Exams are in a few days. Which has led me to surplus, when supply exceeds demand (the extent thus far of my Economics Revision), of Procrastination. Which means that this was written far quicker than it should have been, and that you are getting this chapter far sooner than is healthy for my Exam Results.

I have also discovered that I write best when under the influence of insomnia. Therefore, approximately three-quarters of this chapter was written at about two am, with an overhead light to help me see the keyboard, and an army of frogs to keep me suitably distracted (don't be fooled: frogs can be hellishly loud when they want to be.) Consequentially, the grammar won't be perfect.

(Blame the frogs.)

**Review Reply: **_Will there be a pairing for this fic?_ Yes, there will be, but not for some time yet. Actually, there will be several pairings between characters, both het and yaoi. However, a word of warning: I am strongly **against** CloudxTifa. The central pairing in this fanfiction will be yaoi between Cloud and Zack, who he has yet to meet. This pairing will not come into effect for some time yet, as (obviously) both are only children at this stage. I hope this doesn't scare anyone off, for while there _will_ be yaoi, there definitely **won't** be any sexual encounters written in any detail. Any romance between characters will be restricted to touch, kiss and implied situations only.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Falling' by Staind, 'Kryptonite' by Three Doors Down, 'Don't Jump' by Tokio Hotel, 'Savin' Me' by Nickelback (I found this song particularly fitting.)

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood**

**Chapter Three: Falling**

"Cloud, please hurry up! And make sure you wear the new shoes I got you, I won't have you running around in those old brown boots, they're falling apart!"

Cloud sighed and sagged against the wall, looking up at the ajar door of his room form here he sat on his bed shuffling cards. He glanced over at Johnny, who was crouched between the end of the bed and the mustard-coloured wallpaper.

"Out the window!" Cloud whispered, springing up and helping Johnny climb ono the windowsill, holding him until the ten-year-old's feet brushed the grassy earth.

"See ya at school!" Johnny hissed goodbye, before darting away, checking each window for Elena before continuing.

Cloud swiftly closed and shuttered the window after his dark haired friend, and snatched his new shoes from the shelves beside the door. No sooner had he fallen into them, than the door was pushed open and Elena's head popped around the corner.

"We're going now, Cloud!" she announced, giving him a quick once-over to check that he was dressed, then sweeping her eyes over his room. Her eyes caught on the cards sprawled over the untidy bed. Cloud winced when he saw the smudge on the windowsill, and knew his mother noticed it too.

"Cloud..." Elena glared at him warningly. "Was Johnny here?"

Cloud mumbled a reply, and Elena rolled her eyes.

"We'll talk later, young man, but right now the Lockhearts are expecting us for lunch. Clean that up, and come out into the lounge."

Cloud dutifully went over to the bed, gathering the pack of red-backed cards and shoving them into his pack pocket - he and Tifa could play later - then tugged his bed straight and jogged out to the lounge. Elena was standing by the door, pulling no her sturdy walking boots.

"C'mere, Cloud," she smiled wen she saw his wary face. Cloud walked over, and she dropped a kiss among his unruly blonde spikes. "I'm not angry at you," she knelt down, smiling at him earnestly. "I could _never_ be angry at you."

"I know," Cloud's eyes were wide and clear, smiling happily back. He leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek, before moving past her and running out the open door.

"Cloud! Slow down," Elena laughed, sprinting to follow him, not bothering to lock the door behind her. "_Wait_, Cloud!"

Cloud turned and laughed at her struggling to keep up.

"You're so _slow_, Ma," he giggled as he hopped from foot to foot impatiently. "We're gonna be late!"

"Shush, you," Elena swatted him lightly on the shoulder as she passed, and Cloud laughed once more, before walking beside her at a leisurely pace, eyes wandering over the countryside as they passed. As the houses appeared closer together, they saw a few people strolling about, and exchanged waves and smiles as they went. Elena had plenty of friends in Nibelheim, knowing many of the parents from interviews about their children, and from the monthly Town Meetings Gareth still held. Cloud, too, had friends all over Nibelheim: Eliah, Johnny, Luci, Tifa, of course, and Kas, among others. He never wanted for someone to play with, or talk to, for there was always someone around who was willing to keep up with him.

They finally reached Gareth, Brittany and Tifa's home, just beside the Town Hall, and walked in uninvited, knowing them well enough that their home was as good as theirs.

"_Tiiifaaa!" _Cloud called, running to the girl's room and through the open door. Tifa was standing in there, a space cleared around her, practising the hand-to-hand movements her sensei, Zangan, had been teaching her. Gareth had insisted she learn upon reaching her seventh birthday a year or so ago, and while she had resisted at first, deeming it "ungirly" and "men's work," she had soon grown to love it, and now ran off to lessons twice weekly with undisguised eagerness.

"Cloud!" Tifa squealed, her calm, neutral expression falling at the sight of her best friend, and she ran forward to hug him tightly. Ever since that day at the Mansion, the two had been closer than ever, closer than even Cloud and Johnny were, and they both cherished their friendship more than anything. "You're here! _You're here!_"

"Duh, Tifa, course I'm here!" Cloud rolled his eyes, and pulled back, pulling Tifa into a twirl and letting go so that he fell onto the bed beside her, laughing. "Why else would I be in your room?"

"Oh, shut up, Cloud," Tifa looked at her best friend in exasperation and sighed theatrically.

"_Language_, young lady," Gareth intoned from the doorway, smiling at the sight of Tifa and Cloud lying next to each other, clearly at ease with the other's closeness.

"Sorry, Dad," Tifa looked suitably chagrined, though the moment the huge Mayor was out of sight, she and Cloud burst into muffled giggles.

"Ooh, Cloud, there's something I wanna show you," Tifa pulled Cloud up by one hand when she lurched off the bed, and the ShinRa followed obediently, noting Tifa's mounting excitement and feeling his own rise in response.

"What is it?"

"It's a sur-_priiiise_," Tifa smirked, tugging Cloud to a stop beside the open living room door, where Elena, Gareth and Brittany were talking over cups of wine. "Mum, Dad, I'm taking Cloud up to the ravine, okay?"

"Be back before one, dear," Brittany smiled at Tifa, adding a few words in Wutian - her native tongue - that Cloud couldn't understand, though they probably weren't good by the glare Elena spared the woman, and the light flush that rose on Tifa's cheeks before she lowered her head.

"Be careful!" Gareth shouted after them as Tifa started to leave.

"Okay, Dad! We'll be careful!" Tifa rolled her eyes at Cloud, who responded in kind, though did turn back briefly to flash a reassuring smile at his mother.

"Bye, Ma!" Cloud called, before following Tifa out the door and onto the street - busy for Nibelheim, with almost ten people strolling about, exchanging greetings and pausing for short conversations on the only street corner the town boasted.

"So, where _is_ the ravine? What is it?" Cloud asked as they walked down the cracked sidewalk, enjoying the silence of the country and the heat of the sun as it pounded down. It was summer now, but in a few months winter would set in, and the place would be buried inches-thick in snow for almost ten weeks before there was any sign of clear skies.

"Mm, I found it with Sensei Zangan when we were out running last week, it's got this really awesome bridge that goes across it. There's a river at the bottom, but it's not that deep, so I wanna see if there's a way to climb down and go swimming!"

"Swimming?! Tifa, that water's from the _mountain!_" Cloud stared at the girl in disbelief - everyone knew that you didn't swim in water from Mount Nibel, for it would be as cold as ice, having melted from the snow caps that adorned the looming presence. The last boy that had gone swimming there - in his mid teens, having done so for a dare - had wound up with hypothermia, and had spent weeks in bed recuperating.

"I _know_," Tifa sighed. "But I just wanted to try!"

"Where is it?" Cloud repeated, looking around as they stepped off the road and down one of the many dirt paths that wove through the Town, short-cuts so well walked by the inhabitants that they had carved ridges into the earth. The dirt paths were used just as much, if not more, than the paved ones were, but weren't scribed on any maps of the small village - only through intimate knowledge of the Town, almost always obtained by growing up there, could one navigate the maze of tracks that picked their way through the countryside. As Tifa and Cloud were both lucky enough to have been raised there, they knew the informal map of Nibelheim like the backs of their hands, and could navigate their way from one end of the village to the other, visiting each individual home and farm along the way, with their eyes blindfolded.

"It's only a few minutes run _that_ way," Tifa pointed down the path they currently trod, then sped up a little, until she was jogging lightly. "C'mon! Race you there!"

"You're on," Cloud grinned, knowing he would win. Just as he started to run, he gasped when he felt himself being thrown from the path and into the knee-high, coarse grass that lined the path.

"_Hey!_ No fair!" he shouted indignantly as Tifa laughed and sped away. Cloud grumbled and picked himself off, brushing stray pieces of grass from his clothes before glaring at Tifa's retreating back and sprinting after her. The path sloped gently up towards the mountain, growing steeper as time passed, though not so steep that he slipped, or lost his footing. Eventually, the path began to flatten and widen, reaching a broad clearing that Cloud knew was the destination Tifa spoke of.

Cloud won, of course, though as he neared the end, he let up a little so that it was only a _close_ win; it wouldn't do for Tifa to be grouching about losing all afternoon.

"I keep forgetting how _good_ you are," Tifa panted as she leant forward, her hands propped on her knees, while Cloud stood, slightly out of breath, but no worse for wear.

"Doesn't matter," Cloud smirked at her, "I still beat you."

Tifa shot a glare at him, but her anger died when she looked around and saw that they had arrived at the focus of her excitement.

"There is it!" she cried, pointing out and running forward, forgetting her fatigue, until she stood on the edge of the sudden ravine precariously. "See? Isn't it _awesome_?"

Cloud followed her far more carefully, until he too stood on the edge of the steep cliff. The ravine was about ten, maybe fifteen meters across, and was very, very high - a lot higher than he'd anticipated. He could see the stream below, though now that he looked, he thought it was more of a river than a stream, a bit wider and more heavily flowing than he'd pictured. Then, before he had a chance to see more, Cloud swayed back from the edge, wincing a little as vertigo struck.

"Tifa, get back from there," he said, feeling uneasiness seep into him. He didn't like this. Not. At. All.

"I'm not gonna _fall_, Cloud," Tifa scoffed, glancing over her shoulder, tapping her foot against the edge of the ravine and huffing slightly. "It's perfectly sa-"

Cloud felt his stomach fall out from him, just as he watched the supposedly stable earth fall out from under Tifa. She seemed to hang in the air for a moment, in comical surprise, before time came roaring back, she screamed, reality set in, gravity followed, and she _fell_.

"_**Tifa!**_" Cloud roared, leaping forward with no thought in his mind other than to _Catch_ _her! _He fell to his knees at the side of the ravine, felt himself slide too far forward, but he didn't care. As his torso leant over the cliff, he leant further than he'd meant to; his body started to slip at an alarming rate, but he still didn't care. Then, as he fell, his arms reaching out and snagging Tifa's, dragging her to him, he found that he didn't care at all. All he cared about, as he felt the wind whip past, snatching away his and Tifa's screams of fear, was that Tifa was with him. All he cared about was that she wasn't alone in their free-fall to the cold river of notoriously unforgiving mountain ice that flowed beneath them.

Cloud's eyes flared. He wasn't going to let Tifa die. Heck, he wasn't going to let _himself_ die. If they fell, and he did nothing ... he knew what would happen. He knew they would never find the bodies - the current, soft as it was, would soon sweep their empty shells away, blue from cold and stained with blood from the sharp rocks that lined the water. He could imagine it, his mother's cries as she realised he wasn't coming home, her blinding sorrow that the last thing she'd ever said to him was a threat to speak later of his disobedience, not knowing she would never keep that promise.

No. He wasn't going to do that to her. He had to stop himself, he had to stop Tifa, he had to _stop falling_ ... but _how?_

The ground was still rushing closer at an alarming rate, but Cloud wasn't thinking any faster. His heart began to race, adrenaline seared through his veins, as he realised that, maybe, this time there wasn't going to _be_ a way out. Not like with Ferg, when he had simply dragged Drake and his friends away. Not like the Mansion, when he had thrown Tifa away in the nick of time. Not this time...

They were only seconds away from impact. From death. Cloud closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring as his hair whipped around his face, Tifa's long braid stinging against his cheek. He held Tifa tightly, unconsciously shifting her body so that he held her bridal-style, cupping her shoulders and the backs of her knees while her arms wound tightly around his neck. As those last few seconds came rushing to meet him, Cloud shifted his body instinctively so that his feet were pointed down, as if he was falling only a few meters, and could expect to land on two feet like he always ...

... had.

Cloud opened his eyes, and looked down.

The ground wasn't moving. It wasn't growing closer. The air no longer stung at his eyes, the wind didn't roar in his ears. He wriggled his toes, and stared when he felt the hard ground beneath them through the biting cold of a flow of water than now cascaded around them.

"_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!" _Tifa's screams pierced his ears suddenly, no longer stolen away as they moved too fast to hear them, and Cloud cried out, letting go of her as his hands flew up to slap against his ears, protecting them against the painfully loud sound. "_Aaaaaaaa-_oof."

Tifa blinked up at him as she fell into the river at Cloud's feet with a splash. The shocking cold of the water broke her from her trance, and she surged upwards, her hands flying to Cloud's shoulders and shaking him roughly.

"What the hell just happened!?"

_We should be dead_.

"Cloud, why the _hell_ are we still alive!?"

_Why are we still here?_

"Are you even listening to me!?"

_Why aren't we dea-_

_Slap_.

Cloud cried out and reached up with one hand to massage the abused cheek, staring at Tifa in shock, who was looking at her own red hand in surprise.

"Uh ... sorry," she bit her lip, cheeks flushing a little. "You were zoning out on me."

"It's ... okay ..." Cloud frowned, looking around once again.

"So, _Cloud_," Tifa propped her hands on her hips and stared at Cloud with the full, heavy weight of her glare. "What the hell _was_ that!?"

"I ... I just ..." Cloud stared down at his feet, shifting them subtly and gasping when the tender soles throbbed in pain, but in a dull ache, not the sharp pain he would have expected of broken bones. _Why aren't they shattered? A force like that should have broken them - me - into a million pieces!_

"Cloud ... you're scaring me," Tifa edged away from the ShinRa, staring up at his fiercely glowing eyes in apprehension. They had _never_ glowed that brightly before.

Cloud was shaking, whether in fear or anger or the unrealised energy that had suddenly flooded his body, he didn't know. He looked down at his hands in clarity that startled him; he had always known that his vision was sharper than any human's ... but this - this was _insane_. He could count the _hairs_ on his hands, his arms, he could see every glittering drop of water as it shimmered on his skin, he could feel each wisp of air as it brushed against his skin, felt it as if it were a warm blanket wrapped around him, smothering him.

Planet, what had happened to him?

"Cloud, please, answer me!"

Cloud gasped at the closeness of Tifa's voice, the volume that made his ears throb, and raised his eyes to look in her's. Where he had before seen only brown, he now found - strangely - black, flecks of yellow, even a smattering of dark green around the pupil. Realising he was staring like an idiot, speechless, Cloud forced his eyes closed and shook his head roughly, reaching up to grasp at either side and digging his fingers into his hair desperately.

"No," he moaned, backing away from Tifa when he heard her step awkwardly through the water, splashing loudly. "Stop it."

With a start, Cloud realised that he was crying.

"Shh, Cloud, it's alright," Tifa pressed her hand to Cloud's shoulder, uncertain as to what had set her older friend off, but trying anyway to soothe him. "Cloud, please stop crying. Cloud?"

Cloud wiped his face, trying to calm his breath. _Shock_, he noted dimly. _It's only shock ... calm down, Strife. It's over. You can't ... she's not hurt. Planet, stop crying!!_ Cloud pressed his hands tighter against his face and managed one last, choked sob, before he swallowed the rest and raised his head once again.

"I'm sorry," he said thickly, taking one hesitant step and wincing as his abused foot throbbed in response. "Tif' ... c'mon, we need to get back."

"But how?" Tifa was still watching him warily, but now that he had appeared to have calmed down, she felt herself edging closer to him, instinctively looking at him for protection.

Cloud looked up where they had come from, and frowned. How, indeed. They had fallen farther than he'd thought, and he couldn't even _dream_ of climbing such a height; even if they had the tools to do so, he would still blanch at the sight of the cliff that loomed over them.

Suddenly, Cloud realised where they were. He looked around, and saw the opposite side of the ravine towering over him there, too. The entire valley - for what else could it be - was cloaked in shadow, surrounded on all fronts by immovable walls of earth and stone.

For what wasn't the first - and definitely wasn't the last - time, Cloud trembled as dormant claustrophobia set in.

The incident at the Mansion had unfortunate consequences that Cloud had discovered horrifically several weeks later. He, Johnny, and a young boy named Eliah had been playing hide and seek. Cloud had hidden in his mother's closet, stifling laughter and moving loudly in the enclosed space.

But as excitement faded, Cloud had looked around in the darkness, so complete, so absolute ... and he had forgotten where he was. Suddenly, he had been not in his mother's closet, but trapped under meters of rubble, waiting to fall, to crush, to kill, he had been helpless with Tifa by his side, shuddering in fear, in cold, as water dripped onto their faces, he hadn't been able to breathe, it was so _cold_-

Cloud hadn't known that he was screaming. But he had been. His friends had found him in no time, but, alarmed by his shrieking, shuddering form, they had instead sought his mother, who had calmed the boy with much effort.

Tifa had not suffered such an aliment. She had been lucky enough to escape unscathed. But Cloud knew he would suffer for the rest of his life; every time he lay in darkness, every time he was enclosed, every time he was trapped or restrained, he knew he would remember that day at the Mansion ... and he knew he would fall apart.

Now, hidden in the folds of the ravine, Tifa looked over at her shuddering friend, followed his gaze to the surrounding cliffs, and knew what had happened. With tact rarely seen in one so young, only eight years old with Cloud proudly at nine, she reached out and wrapped her arm around the ShinRa's shoulder, squeezing until he turned to look at her.

"Hey, Cloud, look at me," she said softly. "It's okay. We're gonna get out, alright? We- _look at me!_"

Cloud's shaking had intensified, and Tifa gripped Cloud's chin, forcing him to look at her.

"Cloud, it's me, Tifa. I won't let it hurt you, Cloud, okay? I'll protect you," Tifa murmured whatever came to mind, calming the boy with her soothing words, until Cloud's form only shivered sparingly, his face no longer white, but flushed with blood and liveliness.

"See? That's better," Tifa hummed in satisfaction, turning her and Cloud's bodies until she could take both his hands and hold them tightly between hers. "Now, Cloud ... how are we going to get out? I don't have any ideas."

"Follow the river," Cloud whispered through numb lips. "It'll lead us out."

"Upstream or down?"

"Down," Cloud muttered, his eyes actually drooping a little. "Upstream leads to the mountain..."

"Alright," Tifa nodded firmly, glad that, even though he wasn't all there, Cloud was still able to think logically and clearly. "Downstream it is."

Hooking one of Cloud's arms over her shoulder, she took the dazed ShinRa - his adrenaline rush now faded, leaving him weak and tired - and helped him, coaxing him to take one step after another, wading through the ice-cold water that pooled into their shoes, wet their socks and numbed their toes. The water lapped around their calves, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. Sometimes one or the other would slip, dragging the other down into the water with them and soaking not only their feet, but their clothes, too. They shivered. They moaned. They cried.

But they kept on going, marching to the soft encouragement of Tifa's weakening voice. Until, finally, the ravine started to fade. Sunlight started to pool around them, warming their skin and easing the chill of the clinging fabric.

"We made it Cloud," Tifa stuttered through numb lips, her eyes falling to see the familiar, worn brown of a track worn away by Nibelheim feet. "We're safe."

* * *

"Sir! SOLDIER Genesis! It happened again!"

"What is it?"

"Nibelheim, sir! Four years ago, sir, I was sitting at this very station, and an unregistered ShinRa showed. Just now, sir ... I can hardly believe it. A signal came through, sir, the same from from last time, if I'm not mistaken. But this time ... it was stronger. Sir, if I'm not mistaken ... Nibelheim has been lying to us, sir. They _do_ have a ShinRa, and a bloody strong one, too."

"Good job, human. Do you have the read-outs?"

"Right here, sir."

"You'll be rewarded for this, human. If these read-outs are correct ... I believe we may have just found the one of strongest ShinRas since Sephiroth himself."

"...sir!?"

"I've said too much. Back to your station, human. And you, by the door? Call a stand-in. I need to get a team on this lead right away."

"Sir, yes, sir."

"Huh. Who would've thought? Seems the Mayor of Nibelheim has a lot to answer for, aye boys?"

A murmur of agreement filled the room, betraying the technicians that eavesdropped on the musings of the bored officer. The SOLDIER wasn't angry, though. He was happy, no, thrilled, no, _ecstatic_. The charts didn't lie, and from the graph he held tight in one fist, the ShinRa the technician had unearthed was almost as powerful as the prodigious Sephiroth was. And with the natural suppression Nibelheim enforced on the readings of ShinRa personnel ... Planet, he had better get a raise, if not a promotion, for this. Because unless he was mistaken ... he had just discovered the strongest ShinRa in _recorded history._

No _way_ was he letting the human take credit for this one.

* * *

**Next: **Part Two, Chapter Four: My Sacrifice. _ShinRa takes action. _


	7. Part Two, Chapter Four, A

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **This chapter was particularly hard to write, for many reasons, other than the somewhat demanding plot that seems to be out to end me. Exams started on Tuesday. My social life has taken an unexpected turn for the better. My brother and sister are in greater need of babysitting now that both my parents have full-time jobs. Summer is finally setting in. My ex-boyfriend and I have started talking to each other again. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Need I say more?

On a completely different note, thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed, or even simply favourited, or subscribed. It truly warms my heart each time I see a new email from FanFiction telling me that someone has read my story, and found it worthy of their attentions. Without you, I fear I may have lost my enthusiasm for this fanfiction long ago. So, thank you.

This chapter was originally supposed to be a lot longer, but I came to an unexpected stop at one point, and decided it would be best to leave it there, and cut the chapter into two parts, part A and part B. Which will probably lead to much confusion. But, what the heck. I didn't want to delay getting this out any more than it had already been.

**Question:** I spent a good hour or two searching for name of Genesis' sword, but the only reference I could find was "Rapier." Is that was Genesis calls his sword, or is it something else? Any help would be much appreciated, I want to try and keep names and places as true to Canon as possible. Thanks in advance!

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'My Sacrifice' by Creed, 'Forsaken' by Within Temptation, 'Epiphany' by Staind, 'Turn Around' by Angie Arsenault.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood**

**Chapter Four, A: My Sacrifice**

Genesis leant back in the comfortable leather chair, folded his arms in defiance, and pouted.

"I still don't get why they asked _us_ to do it."

"Because Seph has the highest Jenova Presence out of any of us. He'll be able to relate to the ShinRa, and retrieve him with less effort than a standard ShinRa would-"

"Yeah, yeah, I _know_ that, but why are _we_ coming, too?"

"We are a team, Gen. What one of us does, the others do. What are you complaining about, anyway? You're the one who found the ShinRa in the first place."

"But I'm _bored_."

"Then deal with it, stop bugging me."

Sephiroth glanced over his shoulder at his two team mates, quarrelling like they usually did, and felt one corner of his mouth twitch into a rare smile. How the three of them had ended as partners, he would never know. They were polar opposites of each other, barely a thing in common between them: the firey-haired, firey-natured Genesis always looking for danger and excitement; the calm, steady Angeal playing mediator and constantly searching for a peaceful way out; and finally him, Sephiroth, who couldn't really care either way, apathy an emotion he was only too accustomed to.

Three years ago, in their sixteenth year as per tradition, the three had graduated from ShinRa Training Acadamy with the rest of their class, and been organised into pre-selected teams that would become the foundations of their future as ShinRa. The three newly graduated SOLDIER had, before that day, only spoken in passing, perhaps studied or sparred together once or twice, but were more acquaintances than friends. To find that they would be spending the rest of their career - the rest of their _lives_ - together came as nothing less than the greatest shock to them. However, as years passed, they slowly grew on each other, as all teams did, loyalty and friendship granting them strength and victory in all they endeavoured to do.

"Are we there yet?"

"_Genesis_," Sephiroth warned the slightly younger man in a low voice, shooting him a glance from the corner of one green, glowing eye before returning his attentions to the dashboard sprawled before him. One pale hand rested lightly on the joystick between his knees, steering the helicopter with practised ease. According to the built-in GPS, they were currently flying somewhere over Corel; they would arrive in Rocket Town by the time night fell, where they would find transport to the mountains, and take it from there.

"Really, Gen, can't you find a crossword or something?" Angeal suggested quietly from where he was slouched in the chair next to Genesis, reading peacefully.

"No," Genesis replied shortly, before turning to look out the window, watching as shimmering water faded into spindly roads and tiny, match-box houses. "Aaaaaand, there goes Costa de Sol," he drawled, watching as the tourist town faded into patched countryside. "Next up, North Corel." And with that, he set down, eagerly looking out over the shifting ground beneath for the next city to pass.

Sephiroth shook his head, and pressed forward. Truth be told, he was curious about the new ShinRa. It was rare for any ShinRa to be raised away from Midgar; Genesis was one of the few he knew that had been, the boy hidden away in the Slums of Midgar and protected by the vast numbers of ShinRa residing in the city that overpowered his Presence. The protection hadn't been enough, however, and he had been found when he was but three years old, quickly initiated into ShinRa life as if he had never left.

But, by the looks of the Jenova Presence this new ShinRa held ... they must be at least Sephiroth's age, if not more. It would be ... interesting ... to see how such a person had survived for so long. Did they know of their legacy? Did they know that they weren't like the humans they had been raised by? Did they know the raw power they could harness, given the training?

If nothing else, it would be interesting to have someone of his ability around.

* * *

It was dark by the time Tifa stumbled into her father's home. They'd been gone the whole day. She knew her parents - and Cloud's mother - must be beside themselves with worry, but with Cloud in the half-conscious state he was, it was impossible to limp any faster.

"Dad!" Tifa sobbed as she finally collapsed through the front door, Cloud hanging at her side, barely supporting his own weight. "Daddy, help!"

"Tifa! _Tifa_ what happened?" Gareth gasped, charging from the sitting room hearing his daughter's distraught, broken voice. His face was red, and Tifa could clearly see where he had been crying, his eyes still puffy and bloodshot. Elena was close behind him in a similar disposition, though when she saw the dishevelled, half-conscious Cloud, she pushed past Gareth with a shout and fell to her knees before Tifa, grabbing and shaking Cloud's shoulders desperately.

"Cloud?" she cried softly, digging her fingers in when her son didn't respond. "_Cloud_!?"

"Tifa, _what happened?_" Gareth came up beside Tifa and gently guided her away from Cloud, leading her into the lounge while Brittany gathered blankets and set the jug to boil.

"I ... we went up to the ravine," Tifa shivered, watching as Elena gathered Cloud in her arms, carrying him over to the couch where she sat with the boy curled in her lap, shivering against her chest. Tifa's voice fell to a shamed whisper. "I _fell_..."

Gareth's eyes went wide, and he grabbed Tifa's arm, checking her over roughly for injury, looking into her eyes with obvious relief, and confusion, when he found only light grazes and bruises.

"Tif' ... if you fell ... that ravine is _huge_! Why ... _how_ did you survive?" Gareth looked abnormally pale, as he realised that he had come close, so, _so_ close, to losing his only daughter, his only child.

"Cloud," Tifa breathed, smiling thankfully up at her mother as she tucked a blanket around her, then moved onto Cloud, handing the covers over for Elena to handle. "H-He jumped after me, and caught me, but we kept on falling, and then ... and then ..." Tifa blinked in confusion, awe, amazement. "He just ... landed. Like it was nothing." Tifa looked up at her pale father. "Daddy, how did he _do_ that?"

"Cloud is a ShinRa, Tifa, you know that," Gareth reminded her gently, looking over to where Brittany had knelt at Elena's side, watching the now sleeping boy cautiously. It was as if his wife wasn't sure how to act, or feel: it was no secret that Brittany disliked Cloud, blaming him for any unwanted attention or injury that befell Nibelheim. But now, Cloud had just saved her daughter's life. Without him, Tifa would be dead.

"But Cloud's _never_ done anything like _this_ before!" Tifa breathed in wonder, looking over so that the eyes of everyone in the room were fixed on the pale, exhausted face.

Elena's jerked suddenly, and her head whipped up to face Gareth.

"Gareth, you don't think ... the satellite ... ?"

Gareth closed his eyes in distress and rubbed his chin tiredly.

"I think it would be best if you and Cloud went to ground for the next few days," he said in a gruff voice, slinging one arm over Tifa's shoulders and pulling her so close, she squealed. "Hide out in the forest, I've got some food I can give-"

His firm voice was cut off suddenly by the rumbling sound of an engine that hadn't been heard in Nibelheim for years, not since Elena had returned the rental car to Rocket Town. Despite having not heard the sound in years, Elena knew the low growl of a car from her years in Midgar, and Mideel. Nibelheim itself had no motor cars - for one, there was very little petrol, which was almost always used on tractors anyway, and for another the roads were dirt and stone, and would likely rip the car apart. The only vehicles that ever graced the small town were the cars of outsiders - and, but for the suppliers who came once a fortnight, on Fridays, the only ones that came to Nibelheim were ShinRa.

"Oh, Planet, they're here," Elena gasped, grabbing at Cloud and lurching forward until she could stand, Cloud hanging limp in her arms. He was small for his age, a feature inherited from Elena, as almost all of his looks were. "Gareth, could you-?"

"Just go!" Gareth made sure to keep his voice in a rough whisper, not wanting the approaching ShinRa to hear him. "It'll be okay, 'Lena. Just _go_."

"Thank you," Elena breathed, reaching up to kiss the tall man's cheek lightly, then bending down to press another kiss to Tifa's wet hair.

"Can I say good bye?" Tifa whispered, and Elena nodded hurriedly, looking over her shoulder when a loud knock came at the door.

"Be quick," Elena urged the girl desperately as she tightened her grip on Cloud, her breath hitching a little.

Tifa nodded in understanding and wiped the sodden locks from Cloud's forehead so she could kiss him gently.

"Bye, Cloud," she murmured in his ear, holding his limp hand in hers briefly. "Come back safe, okay?" It wasn't the first time Cloud had hidden in the safe house, but it was the first time Tifa had been there to say good bye to him. The last time he had hidden - after the incident with the Mansion - she had simply woken, to see him gone. It had scared her more than she would admit, so now, she made sure that she had closure, that she had told him what she wanted to. She told him now what she wished she had been able to all those times before, suddenly more scared for her friend than ever before.

"Elena, you have to go," Brittany told the woman in a low voice, surprising Elena, for Brittany - while being accommodating of Elena herself - hadn't been subtle in her fear, even dislike, of Cloud's presence. Brittany was currently peeking out the front window blinds at the three men that were arranged on the front step, growing more restless by the second. "I'll speak to them, try and keep them away." Brittany hesitated, then followed with a brief phrase in Wutian. Gareth looked at her proudly, Tifa in confusion, and Elena stared numbly at the other woman for a few long seconds, then nodded shortly, before moving to the back door.

Gareth walked with Elena to the door, looking over his shoulder as he opened it was quietly as possible and ushered Elena out. Elena could hear Brittany's high voice at the door, followed by a low rumble of voices. Suspicious. Knowing. Dangerous.

"Run, 'Lena. I can't follow. Just go," Gareth breathed as he closed the door tightly behind her, sighing heavily before securing a wide, empty smile expected of a "country simpleton" such as himself on his face, and sauntering over to stand casually beside his wife. As he passed Tifa, still standing in the kitchen, staring at the closed door sadly, he nodded to her room, indicating that she should make herself scarce for the rest of the night.

Tifa knew what her father wished, and followed him into the corridor, though branched away to enter her room while Gareth continued to the front door. At the threshold of her door, gripping the wood in one hand, Tifa peered around the corner, and caught a glimpse of glittering silver, vibrant red and deep black, before she pulled back with a gasp and shut the door firmly. Her room was dark, lit in dark blues and violet hues, and the window was open, the curtain fluttering lightly in a light wind.

Tifa moved silently to the window, and looked out solemnly, scanning the familiar landscape for a few long minutes ... thinking. Cloud was in danger - more than he'd ever been before - and it was all her fault. Gazing out over the village, Tifa saw a flash of white among the dark, moving into the trees. _Cloud_.

"Please be o-" Tifa prayed, but before she could say anymore, there came a trembling crash, an alarmingly high-pitched scream echoed into her room, a scream, a voice, that Tifa recognised only too well.

"_Mum!_"

* * *

Elena walked as softly as she could, cradling Cloud in her arms and running a soothing hand over his forehead whenever he stirred, in an attempt to keep him quiet and docile.

They were on the outskirts of the central homes, now, and the gravel path they followed was slowly giving way to grass and dirt. Elena could barely see in the dark of night, but she stumbled on, muffling her gasps on Cloud's shoulder and glancing behind her, half-terrified that the ShinRa were behind her, stalking her on silent feet with eyes glowing in the darkness.

When midday had passed, and Tifa and Cloud had failed to return ... she had been worried yes, but not overly so. They were only children; it was natural for them to loose track of time. But they would be back soon, red-faced and exuberant from their little adventure into the hills.

An hour passed. Then another. They still hadn't returned.

By then, Elena had been frantic, Gareth had been quietly reassuring, and Brittany had been running around town, searching for someone who had seen the children, or knew where they went. One of the men on the edge of the village claimed he had heard screaming. When Brittany had returned to her home, and announced that titbit of news, Elena had nearly collapsed in horror.

Nibelheim had no police, no emergency services waiting at hand. They had no need; with a population of only one or two hundred - if that - the crime rates were to laugh at, any fires or emergencies were dealt with as a community, any illness or injury cured by the family of Healers that had lived in the country town for many, many generations. As such, with no group of capable professionals waiting on hand, Gareth found himself with few people to help him in his time of need. The wilderness surrounding Nibelheim was vast, immeasurable. If Cloud and Tifa were lost, they could stumble miles and miles to the south, or the west, where there were no cities or villages, nothing but wild grasses and forest. They might never be found.

So, when Tifa dragged Cloud to their doorstep, blood spotting their clothes, drenched from head to foot, looking more like a drowned cat than anything and their faces so pale they stood bright against the shadows of night, Gareth, Elena and Brittany had been overwhelmed with relief.

Then the story came out. The worst _wasn't_ over. They were still in danger.

Elena forced herself onwards to where she knew the safe house was, thanking whatever God or Spirit looked over her that she had restocked the place just the other month.

Cloud stirred again, and Elena looked down to see his eyes fluttering open.

"Ma?" he breathed, seeming to realise that something was happening.

"Shush, Cloud, be silent," Elena urged him tenderly, smiling bravely down at him even though her heart was shattering. "Everything's going to be alright."

"M'kay, Ma," Cloud sighed, settling closer against her, and falling back asleep.

The footpath was melting into forests, pines and other trees dominating the countryside around them. The half-moon, and what little light it shed, was hidden from view as the canopy closed in over them. The howls and whisperings of forest creatures surrounded them, but Elena just ran, and ran. The safe house was up ahead, and she clambered up the rope ladder nervously, supporting Cloud over one shoulder with one hand while the other supported their combined weight. When they were finally inside the wooden haven, Elena pulled the rope up, making it impossible - or nearly impossible - for anyone to follow. The safe house was high enough that one would only find it if they stood directly beneath it, and looked up, as most of it was hidden by leaves and branches. No one would know it was here, no one but Gareth, and he would never tell.

Settling Cloud onto the single bed the safe house boasted, Elena concentrated now not on the ShinRa that sought them, but instead on her son - her beautiful son - and making sure that he was okay.

It was many hours later, when she was finally letting down her guard, when she had finally let herself believe that she and Cloud were safe, when the sky was beginning to lighten, and the air beginning to warm, that she heard footsteps.

Three of them.

* * *

**Three Hours Previously **

"Mrs Lockheart, is your husband here?"

"He's somewhere around, I think he may be out back, perhaps you could come later?"

"No, we have come on urgent business, it really is imperative that we speak to Mayor Lockheart immediately."

"Really? Must be very important, to have to speak to Gareth _immediately_. What is it?"

"I'm afraid I can't sa-"

"Must be awfully exciting, being a ShinRa. Travelling all over the world, fighting monsters, solving deadly mysteries. Have I seen you before? My husband has a television, you know. I'm sure I've seen you three on it."

"Oh, you saw that then, did you? Yes, the Great Trio, the next Silverhaired Heroes, that's what they call us, you kno-"

"Gen, this isn't the time. Miss, if you'll step aside, it really is urgent that we speak to-"

"Hello there! Now, what seems to be the problem?"

The three ShinRa looked at Gareth with obviously disapproving eyes, their stance and slightly offended expressions showing that they clearly thought themselves superior to the two humans before them. Gareth had his well-practised, "spaced-out" face on, and was holding out one huge hand in greeting, despite the cold, distant looks on the ShinRa's faces. When none of the three ShinRa took his hand, Gareth pulled it back almost regretfully, though his wide, beaming smile kept.

"We have had a report of a renegade ShinRa, and have come to return them to Midgar, where they can undergo reconditioning and serve the Planet as hono-"

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but we don't have any ShinRa here," Gareth beamed at them. Almost convincingly. If it weren't for the flinch when he'd heard the term "reconditioning," the ShinRa might have fallen for it. Instead, the silver-haired ShinRa, the leader, looked closely into Gareth's eyes, before announcing flatly, speaking for the first time that evening,

"He's lying."

The red-haired ShinRa, and the third member, the black-haired one, shared a triumphant look, and stepped forward, each taking one of the Nibelheimers and leading them into their own home, throwing them down on separate chairs in the sitting room then moving back to join the first ShinRa, standing over them.

"Now, the truth," the silver-haired ShinRa spoke in quiet, dangerous tones. "Where is the ShinRa?"

"I ... I don't know," Gareth lied, sharing a look with his wife. The ShinRa sighed, then moved over to Brittany, ignoring when Gareth started forwards, holding one hand out. "No, stop-!"

With what seemed barely any effort at all, the silver-haired ShinRa lifted Brittany by the arm, dragging her over to him and turning her around before wrapping an arm around her neck, so that she was facing Gareth, her face growing darker as her circulation was slowly cut off.

"Tell me. Where. Is. The ShinRa?" the silver-haired ShinRa said in slow, simple words, as if talking to an animal.

"I don't know!" Gareth insisted, clenching his fists and resisting the urge to stand and whisk his wife away from the tightening hands of the ShinRa. "Please just let her go!"

"Not until you tell me _where the ShinRa is_," the ShinRa sighed. Behind him, his two peers were alternating between watching their comrade, and watching Gareth's face, a look of mild interest on their faces. _They were _enjoying_ this!!_ "If you don't tell me where the ShinRa is, this will be the last time you will ever see your wife. Alive."

"No!" Gareth shouted, finally giving in to the urge and flying up from his chair. Before he could touch the ShinRa, his two peers ran forwards and held him back, each taking an arms and holding him with no effort at all, despite Gareth's struggling and kicking. "Why are you doing this? Why do you need to know _so badly_!?"

"ShinRa are all family. Brothers and Sisters. And family belongs, with, _family_," the silver-haired ShinRa told Gareth's red, sweating face as calm as you please, his voice quiet, low, collected.

"Please, I can't tell you, I can't," Gareth shook his head desperately. "Don't ... don't hurt her, please-"

"I will let her go, if you tell me where the ShinRa is."

Brittany gasped as the ShinRa's arm tightened once again. She couldn't breathe. All she could see was her husband's face, protecting the ones she had never wanted here in the first place. Protecting the ShinRa, over _her_. His _wife_.

"I ... can ..." she rasped out, but she couldn't find the breath to say more.

"Hm?" the ShinRa leant down so that his mouth was against her ear, breathing lightly, making her shudder in instinctual fear. "What was that?"

"I ... can ... _tell_ ... you ..."

"No, Brittany!" Gareth shouted when he realised what she was saying. "_No!_"

"Is that so?" the ShinRa released his hold on Brittany's neck, letting her breathe enough that she could answer. His voice fell to a deadly whisper. "_Tell me_."

"There's ... a safe house ... in the forest," Brittany gasped. "Up the Mountain ... Nor'West ... it's hidden in a ... tree ... a few hundred meters ... into the forest ... his name is ... Cloud ..."

The ShinRa smirked, and looked over at Gareth.

"Wasn't that easy?" he raised an eyebrow, then returned his hands to the Wutian woman's neck.

"No - please! You said you'd let her go!"

"No, I said I'd let her go if _**you**_ told. I never said anything about _her_."

Suddenly, the ShinRa's muscles rippled, and then Brittany was flying, crashing into the china cabinet, screaming as the broken glass ripped through her back and arms, collapsing to the ground, blood everything.

"_Mum!!_" Tifa's muffled scream filled the shocked silence, and then the door was flung open before Gareth could warn her otherwise. Tifa gaped at the sight that greeted her, Gareth held back by the two ShinRa, tears dripping down his face as he looked on his broken, unconscious wife. Tifa's eyes moved to the dark-haired woman, the eyes that were her exact colour and shape, closed and sealed with drying blood.

"Mum..." Tifa whispered, ignoring the cold looks the ShinRa closest to her gave, and moved to kneel among the broken glass. She reached out with one trembling back and touched her mother's cheek, cringing at how clammy, how _cold_ it was. "Mum?"

"Tifa, get out of here," Gareth whispered in a hoarse voice. "Tifa, just go!"

"Dad, what's wrong with Mum?" Tifa croaked, ignoring him. "Why is she so cold?"

Gareth's eyes closed in horror, more tears fell, and he too collapsed to the ground when the two ShinRa released his arms and moved to the silver-haired man's side.

"We'll be leaving, now," the man told them blandly. "I'm sorry for the ... _inconvenience_." His green, glowing eyes flitted over the lingering blood and shattered glass, before he swept from the room, his two friends by his side.

Gareth pulled himself to Tifa's side, shock and despair making his limbs weak and shaky. He could barely support his own weight.

"Dad?" Tifa asked, in the smallest, weakest voice he had ever heard. "Is Mum gonna be alright?"

"She's ... she's going to be ..." Gareth closed his eyes. And lied. "She's going to be fine."

* * *

"Why did you do that?"

Sephiroth looked over at Angeal's disapproving face, but didn't answer.

"Seph! Those were innocent people! Why did you hurt her?"

"They have been hiding a ShinRa from us for years, Angeal. We need to make an example of the, to sure the message stays, so they never attempt to do it again," Sephiroth told his team member in his low, calm voice. As if he hadn't just thrown a woman across the room. As if he hadn't just ...

"That woman had a child, and a husband. And you..."

"It had to be done, Angeal. And what do you care? She was only a human."

"Murder is still _wrong_."

Sephiroth just shrugged, and walked the path the woman had advised, his footsteps light and casual.

As if he hadn't just killed her.

* * *

**Present Time**

Sephiroth led the other two on, the unofficial leader of the team. As they continued down the path, their eyes glowed brighter, as they consciously awakened Jenova's Presence in them, the source of all their power. Soon, they could see every detail of the late night as clearly as if it were day. They could see where the leaves and twigs had been crushed by careless feet, they could smell the fear and adrenaline of the one that had passed by not too long ago. As they continued, the scent grew stronger, until it was nearly overwhelming.

"They are nearby," Sephiroth said, in a voice so low only a ShinRa could have heard it.

"They?" Genesis's eyes were wide, glowing with inhuman light, from both Jenova, and excitement. Life at Midgar was luxurious, comfortable, but nowhere near as exciting as this.

"The ShinRa ... a male," Sephiroth confirmed the other's suspicions. Sephiroth had the highest Jenova Presence of the trio, he could smell the barest differences that made all the difference. His power was legendary, even among the humans. He had only been a fully active ShinRa for three years, but already the Midgar slums spoke his name in fear. "And a human female ... his ... mother?"

Angeal and Genesis shared another look behind Sephiroth, their almost identical blue eyes meeting fleetingly, before turning back to the silver-haired ShinRa. Blue eyes were the most common among ShinRa, they were said to be the colour of the eyes of Shin Ra himself. Green, such as Sephiroth's eyes were ... green was said to be the colour of _Jenova's_ eyes. Among the ShinRa, there was a little variation - at least one in every year had eyes of a different colour, brown, golden, once even red, which they decided came from the human lineage in every ShinRa.

"Why would his mother accompany him?" Genesis asked, leaning his hand on the red hilt of the sword hanging from his belt, his beloved Rapier. "He is a fully grown ShinRa, why would he burden himself with the presence of a human?"

"I do not know," Sephiroth murmured as he started forward away, his eyes scanning the trees. The three of them quickly found the elusive safe house, and approached loudly, to give them a warning of some kind.

They heard someone gasp - the woman - followed by a sleepy murmur, then the sound of fabric catching on wood.

"Cloud..." they heard the woman breathe, though with the power they felt raging through them, they could hear the whisper easily. "Cloud, wake up."

"'Wake up'?" Angeal repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Why is he asleep in the first place?"

"It was probably the Presence, you know it tires ShinRa out when they use it," Genesis replied. They were now at the foot of the tree, looking up to see a length of fabric nailed across the entrance to the house, fluttering softly.

"Yes, but all ShinRa are trained for years to keep us from tiring. For him to _sleep_ ... he mustn't have had much training at all."

"Of course not, living here in the outskirts of civilisation, I doubt there's any training to be had at all!"

Sephiroth was silent through the small argument, watching the safe house tremble and creak as the two inhabitants moved about, their breathing loud and clear to his enhanced ears. Finally, the cloth covering over the door was brushed aside, and a mop of blonde hair framing blue eyes peeked over.

"H-Hello? Who is it, what do you want?" It was the woman. The human.

"We have come for the ShinRa," Sephiroth replied in a flat voice, uncaring of the tiny sob he heard from above. "It is our duty to take him Home."

"You mean to Midgar," the human whispered, her voice trembling.

"Yes."

"And nothing I can do, can change that?"

"Yes."

There was a tense, despairing silence above, and they heard the murmur of another voice, a male.

"Ma ... they'll only hurt you. I don't want them to hurt you."

The three ShinRa frowned in confusion; unless they were wrong, the voice they had just heard was that of ... a _child_.

"Come down," Angeal called. "So we can see your faces."

After a small hesitation, the human came down first, throwing a rope ladder down so that she could climb, painstakingly slowly. When her feet touched the ground, she turned bravely, and faced the ShinRa in the dim light of pre-dawn.

"Wh-Who are you?" she swallowed as she spoke. They could see tears glittering in her eyes, and her hands kept clenching into fists, white-knuckled, shaking fists.

The rope ladder swayed a second time, and the ShinRa looked up expectantly, ignoring the question the woman had posed. They could see the back of the ShinRa, spiked blonde hair in the exact same shade as the human's, pale skin, clinging, damp clothes ... a child's proportions.

"It _can't_ be..." Genesis muttered. "A Presence _that high_ ... in a _child!?_"

The woman looked at them curiously, then turned to help the child, the ShinRa, down the last few steps. The boy was weak, surprisingly so, and he stumbled into the human's arms, letting her warmth surround him, pressing back into her embrace as the two faced the three shocked ShinRas.

"Answer me, who are you?" the woman repeated, crouching down so that her chin rested on the boy's shoulder. The boy himself looked about ready to drop, his blue eyes - glowing softly - were drooping and tired. His face was delicate, nearly identical to the woman's, but for the youthfulness of his appearance. He had inherited the woman's slight frame as well. It was nearly impossible to tell by a glance just who his father was, though when they returned to Midgar and ran blood tests, they could soon find out. And whoever it was, was going to be in some _serious_ trouble.

"We are ShinRas," Angeal announced, when Sephiroth seemed unwilling to answer. "I am Angeal, and these are my team mates Genesis and Sephiro-"

The woman's face paled so fast, it was impossible not to notice. Her eyes zeroed in on Sephiroth, glued to his face, her watering eyes now overflowing.

"Sephiroth?" she asked in a whisper, tightening her hold on her son, who turned his head to look at her with his glowing eyes.

"Yes?" Sephiroth's cool voice matched his equally cold face and eyes, staring down at them.

"You're ... _my_ Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, while Genesis snickered, and Angeal looked between the two, frowning. The boy looked concerned, turning in his mother's arms to face her, and touch her cheek lightly.

"Ma? Who is he?" he asked quietly, his voice hoarse and weak.

"Sephiroth ... he's Sephiroth." Nothing could have prepared any of them for her next words. "He is my son."

* * *

**Next: **Part Two, Chapter Four, B: My Sacrifice


	8. Part Two, Chapter Four, B

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Now, time for part two of this really, really, really long chapter! Okay, I figured out what was wrong with the email system (something to do with the settings on my email account) and now will be able to reply to any reviews as per normal. Thank god.

Now, my last exam is finally over, so I'll be able to dedicate more time and effort into this story! That is ... if my parents give me any space to breathe these holidays. See, I live on a farm. Which means there is a _lot_ of work to be done ... and I'll probably be roped into doing most of it. But I'll try my hardest, cross my heart, hope to die, to update a little more frequently.

Once again, the length of this chapter exceeded my expectations. The plot bunnies got away with me, and now what was supposed to be a four-thousand word, quick little summary, ended up being another monster to write.

**Background Information: **In this chapter, Cloud and Elena perform an adaption of the Hongi, which is a traditional Maori ritual of my country, New Zealand. A Hongi is akin to a handshake or greeting, and is symbolic because it is about sharing the ha, also known as the breath of life. A Hongi is when two people press their noses gently together; you may have seen something similar on the television before. The tradition of sharing the breath of life is said to have come directly from the Gods according to Maori legend.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'My Sacrifice' by Creed, 'Forsaken' by Within Temptation, 'Epiphany' by Staind, 'Turn Around' by Angie Arsenault.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood**

**Chapter Four B: My Sacrifice**

Sephiroth laughed.

He merely stood, head tilted back, his great river of silver hair shaking in his contortions, eyes closed in mirth, and laughed.

"Stop! I'm telling the truth!" Elena cried, enraged at her oldest son's reaction to a secret that had been kept for almost two decades, as he laughed at her declaration that truly meant the world to her, and he laughed at everything – at everyone – she'd ever loved. "Nineteen years ago, on the seventh of July, I gave birth to you, at the Midgar General Hospital, Maternity Ward, room 702. Your father and I lived in apartment … 213, on Bank Street and-"

"Stop deluding yourself," Sephiroth interrupted her, all traces of laughter faded as if they had never existed. His eyes and voice were apathetic, cold, distant. Elena felt her world crumbling.

All her life, ever since she'd watched that tiny child being borne away in the arms of a faceless stranger, she'd dreamed of the day when Sephiroth found her, when he told her of how he'd discovered the wrong of ShinRa, and how he longer to be with her and his brother. Ever after ShinRa had taken her dreams and crushed them, even after all illusions she'd had of the world were destroyed, she'd still allowed herself one hope, one wish, one dream; that, one day, Sephiroth would love her.

And here he was. Her son. Her Sephiroth. But he wasn't embracing her, he wasn't proclaiming his deepest desire of knowing who his mother truly was, he wasn't taking her by the hand and telling her how much he'd missed her. No, he was here … here, before her, really _here_ … to take away the only other thing that could have soothed her broken heart, the only other thing – the only other person – she loved more than life.

"You aren't my mother, to even suggest such a thing is laughable. My mother was a woman of exotic beauty, from Mideel, a town far, far to the south. She was not some country bumpkin with dirt under her nails and her head in the clouds. You are _not_ my mother," Sephiroth spoke slowly, calmly, articulating each word clearly so there was no chance of misunderstanding. Almost as if he was speaking to a simpleton.

"But I _am_…" Elena clutched Cloud to her, pressing her face into his hair and stifling a sob. Seeing – no, sensing – that she was heartbroken, saddened beyond words, Cloud allowed her to, and even turned to give her the comfort she so obviously craved, wrapping his arms around her and clutching her back tiredly.

Then, suddenly, Cloud's warmth was gone, his hands were ripped from her back, his face from where it was tucked into her shoulder. Elena cried out, stumbling forward a little, as she had been leaning on Cloud unconsciously. She opened her eyes, and saw Cloud hanging from Sephiroth's hand, struggling so hard his eyes actually started to grow brighter.

"No! Ma! Ugh, let me _go!_" Cloud swung around and kicked Sephiroth in the shin, so hard that the surprised ShinRa actually let him go. Cloud didn't even pause to consider it, only ran to Elena and took her hand defiantly, facing the three ShinRas. "If I go, Ma's coming too!" he announced fiercely.

"Look, boy-"

"You can't stop me, I'm ShinRa as well, I'm strong eno-"

"She _can't come_!" Genesis sighed angrily, frowning down at him. The human had had more of a negative influence on him than they'd feared; he'd actually grown _attached_ to one, something that was practically a social faux pas – like staring at someone, or purposefully running into them – among ShinRa. The only time it was acceptable to feel more than the obligated care for a human, was when it was approved by the ShinRa Council, the Council that oversaw everything in the family of Jenova's Children. And relationships such as those, were only approved when they would benefit ShinRa itself - be it a marriage that had a tendency to produce stronger ShinRa than usual, or even political friendships or engagements arranged with Gaia or Wutai.

Of course, relationships among ShinRa were perfectly acceptable: after all the only reason i was unacceptable for ShinRa to become affiliated with humans was because humans couldn't protect themselves. SHinRa, on the other hand, were specially trained to deal with situations that would destroy a human in seconds.

"Because she's a human, humans are weak-"

"_Humans_ are NOT weak!" Cloud shouted, his eyes flaring again. Back in Midgar, the Nibelheim technician was given his second heart attack in so many hours, watching in disbelief as a Presence flared above - _beyond_ - Sephiroth's shimmering, fleeting sphere of colour. "Without humans, ShinRa wouldn't even _be_ here!"

"Even humans have their uses, but other than that, they are useless. No: she cannot come."

"Ma!?" Cloud turned to Elena, grasping both her hands in his and pleading with his eyes, his voice, his everything. "_Please?_ Tell them you're gonna come!"

"Cloud," Elena was crying, now. She looked up at the three ShinRa, and saw that they were not going to relent. Her eyes lingered on her son, on Sephiroth, and then, something made her pause. Sephiroth ... he was Cloud's brother, even is he didn't want to admit it. "Cloud, please listen to me-"

Cloud's eyes widened in horror. He knew that tone of voice, every child did. It was the voice of a parent who was about to say...

"No! Ma, please, you're a teacher, they'll listen to you, everyone does!"

Elena laughed humourlessly through her tears, and pressed her forehead and nose against his.

"Not everyone," she contradicted him softly, closing her eyes and gripping his hands tighter. "Look, Cloud ... sometimes, there are people in the world who do bad things. And you can't change that, you can't change who they are. All you can do is balance those bad things, with good things, and hope that you can save them when all is said and done. I ..." her voice broke a little, "... I don't know if I'll ever see you again, but ... just make sure that you're the one who does those good things, okay? There are so many bad people in this world, the world needs to be saved. I'll always be proud of you, no matter what you do. Don't be afraid to say what you want, or do what you want. Don't be afraid to be my son okay Cloud?"

Cloud was crying. His heart was breaking, broken by the one person he'd loved more than anything.

"But Ma…" he whispered, feebly opening his eyes and forcing her to meet them, captured in their depths. "I don't _want_ to go away. I don't _want_ to leave you."

"I always knew this day would come, Cloud," Elena de-tangled one hand from his grip, cupping his cheek sadly. "I've always known we were living on stolen time. _Look_ at them, Cloud! If I don't let you go with them, they'll just take you anyway! ShinRa is the most powerful organisation in the world; it is suicide to go against them."

"But you went against them before, when I was born!" Cloud wasn't going to give up, not without a fight. Even if it seemed that Elena was ready to assume the worst, he wasn't going to give in. Not now. Not ever. Elena was all the family he'd ever had, all the family he'd ever known. He wasn't going to let her go just because three men in uniforms told him so.

"But they'll be looking for you now, Cloud, they know you're here! And it breaks my heart to do it, believe me, it truly does, but we can't keep running forever! You are in danger, Cloud. You could be hurt. I though I could handle it, when the time came, but you saw what happened just today! When Tifa and you fell-"

"That was _Tifa's_ fault-"

"It doesn't _matter_ whose fault it was, what matters is that it could happen again, only next time you might not be so lucky. Next time, someone … even _you_ … could get _hurt_.

"Look, Cloud. I don't want to give you up. I don't want to let you go, and it is _killing_ me to do this … but all I want – all I have ever wanted – is to keep you safe. And as much as I hate to admit it … with ShinRa, you can be safe. They can teach you how to use this … amazing power, Cloud, and you will do great things, I just know it!

"I've tried, and I know I've been selfish in everything I've done. I wanted to keep you with me, so much that I kept you away from the rest of your family."

"_You_ are my family, Ma," Cloud breathed, releasing her hands to clutched at the front of her shirt, bunching the fabric in his fists.

"But only half of it," Elena whispered just as softly, looking over his shoulder to where the three ShinRa stood in – strangely – respectful silence. "It just took me this long to see it."

Dawn broke, though with the towering trees that enclosed them, all that warranted the start of a new day was the warming of the air, and the slight beams of light that fought their way through the canopy to brave the shadowed scene.

It was oddly symbolic. Cloud's time in Nibelheim had passed, Elena knew that: now, was the starting of a new day, of a new era, where Cloud was n longer hers alone, but ShinRa's too.

Knowing now that Cloud would come with them peacefully – if reluctantly – the three ShinRa SOLDIERs followed Elena and Cloud to their home, watching the two in silence.

In truth, the three were somewhat stunned by the impromptu speech the human had given. They'd always seen humans as stupid, incapable being whose sole purpose on the Planet was to serve and cater to their needs, produce a Child every now and then and get themselves into situations so the ShinRa had a chance to prove their might and save them.

Never had the three every considered that humans could actually possess … _depth_.

This speech, this moment, would unbeknownst to them, pave the foundations of a new world, a new future.

But there was still along, long way to go yet.

* * *

An hour later, Cloud was on his bed, a single backpack beside him. Angeal – the huge, black-haired ShinRa – had told him not to pack clothes, as he would not need them; ShinRa would issue him some when he was brought in. So, instead, Cloud packed small trinkets, memories, almost souvenirs of his time with Elena, in Nibelheim.

He had his pack of cards, that Johnny had given to him two years ago. A picture of him, Johnny and Tifa, taken with Elena's digital camera (probably the only one in the entire village) on Tifa's eighth birthday by the lake. He had a small, jagged crystal stone, set into a pendant, from his mother. There was a small jewellery box that Elena claimed had belonged to her mother – Cloud grandmother – to keep everything in. A feather from a tiny baby chocobo he'd rescued when he was seven. The collar that had once belonged to Ferg, who had passed away not even three months ago.

So many keepsakes, all of them as precious to him as the world, and all of them he was determined to keep , and hold hear through his time at ShinRa. They would remind him of who he was, of where he had come from, of his friends and family, and everything he'd left behind. They would keep him sane, and keep him whole, until he could come home again.

And he would come home, he knew it. Some day, when his time at ShinRa was over, and he came out the other side, he would return. He would see everyone again, his mother, Tifa, Johnny, Gareth, heck even Brittany, _everyone_. This wasn't good bye: he wouldn't let it be.

"Cloud!"

"Holy _Planet_!" Cloud gasped, falling off his bed and knocking his head against the carpeted floor when he landed.

"Cloud? What's going on in there?" For a moment, Cloud could pretend that everything was normal – Cloud was sitting in his room, playing cards or reading, with Elena in the next room marking tests, or cooking breakfast.

But when he saw the backpack by his pillow, he remembered everything. Only too well.

"Nothing, I just tripped!" Cloud called softly back, just loud enough for her to hear, treasuring this small comfort of childhood and his alarmingly protective mother, engraving this experience – one he had taken for granted for so long – in his mind.

After smiling softly, no doubt looking like an idiot, for several seconds, Cloud remembered _why_ he had fallen off his bed, and rushed over to the window, throwing it open so he could lean out.

"Johnny! What are you _doing_ here?" Cloud hissed, looking over his shoulder: he hadn't forgotten the three SOLDIERs in the other room, talking with Elena of the previous happenings that had threatened his discovery at ShinRa. "It isn't safe-"

"Mayor Lockhart closed school for the day!" Johnny whispered back in kind, realising that something was going on, but now knowing what. "He didn't say why, but he did say you were going away, so I wanted to say good bye!"

Cloud couldn't stop himself from smiling at Johnny's surprising thoughtfulness; for all that he was somewhat reckless, he did have his moments.

"Thanks," Cloud murmured, then realised what – or, more to the point, _who_ – was missing. "What … where's Tifa?"

"I haven't seen her since yesterday," Johnny shook his head sadly. "But, anyway, look, I wanted to give this back." He held up a lightly bend, laminated card that Cloud immediately recognised as the jack of Spades from his deck of cards.

"Johnny!" Cloud laughed a little, shaking his head. "When did you take _that_?"

"Yesterday," Johnny admitted shamelessly. "I was gonna give it back to you at school today, I swear!"

Cloud smiled at Johnny, and reached out to take it, but before he could, he paused, then impulsively said,

"Keep it."

"But … your cards?"

"Think of it as something to remember me by. I've got fifty-one other cards, anyway," Cloud smiled happily at his childhood friend, watching as Johnny closed his fingers around the card, holding it close. "I'm gonna come back someday, anyway. This can be my promise: when I come home, you can give the card back to me. We'll play the best game of Speed _ever_."

Johnny's smile broadened.

"It's a promise," he sealed the deal, slipping the card into a pocket. Before he could say another word, however, the door to Cloud's room opened, and Johnny was forced to duck down so he wouldn't be seen. Cloud whirled around to face the new comer. It was the red-haired ShinRa, Genesis.

"Ready?" Genesis had one eyebrow raised, as if he knew exactly what Cloud had been doing, and knew that Johnny hadn't been allowed to visit Cloud (outside of school, anyway) since he'd bombed Elena's shed with flour a few weeks ago.

"I'll just be a minute," Cloud unconsciously pleaded with his eyes, and Genesis nodded, closing the door behind him for privacy.

Johnny straightened, and gave Cloud a sheepish look.

"Who was _that_?"

"Genesis, he's a ShinRa-"

"A ShinRa? You mean … like _you_ are?"

"Yeah … they've come to take me away. That's where I'm going. To Midgar."

Johnny looked at Cloud in awe, and in fear. Awe, that his friend was leaving to a city he and the others of Nibelheim had only dreamed of, and fear for him, for the notorious reputation of ShinRa, and the effect it might have on Cloud.

"You're coming back?" Johnny clarified, just to make sure.

"Of course I am," Cloud forced a laugh. "I wouldn't lie to you. Not at a time like this."

Johnny smiled again, and reached out to take Cloud's hand awkwardly.

"Well, I'll see you, then … I guess," Johnny shook the blonde's hand shortly, the way he'd seen some adults do when they said hello, or good bye.

"See you…" Cloud agreed, then stood by the window and watched as Johnny scampered away to the forest, and the hidden paths that would lead him back to his father's corn fields to the south.

"Bye, Johnny…" Cloud sighed when there was no longer any sign of his friend.

"Are you ready now?"

Cloud turned to see Genesis once again standing in his doorway, watching him with a kind of detached interest. Cloud couldn't speak, his throat suddenly seemed glued shut, so instead he only nodded and followed the SOLDIER silently into the living room, his backpack slung over one shoulder. The other two ShinRa were sitting on the couch, lounging comfortably on the soft, cracked leather.

Elena was standing, pacing from the kitchen sink to the bookcase on the far wall, and back again. When she saw Cloud, she paused and smiled sadly, walking over to hold him in a tight, lingering embrace. Cloud returned it gratefully, and when she pulled back, kept his hold on one of her hands, almost protectively.

When Cloud was freed from Elena's hold, Angeal stood and walked over to him, settling his hand lightly on the boy's shoulder.

"Ready to go?" he asked quietly. He seemed to realise that leaving this place - his mother, his hometown, his friends - would be a traumatising, life-changing experience for him, and was trying to honour that.

Cloud couldn't help it: he hesitated, and looked up to meet his mother's eyes. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, but reality seemed to have caught her, and she simply couldn't find the energy. She'd spent almost a decade preparing herself for this moment, but even still, she wasn't ready.

"I ... I'm ready," Cloud lied quietly, squeezing his mother's hand briefly, before slowly letting his fingers slide out from hers.

Cloud tightened his fingers on the strap of his backpack, and turned to the ShinRa, trying to hold his head high bravely.

"Let's-"

Before he could say any more, the ground shook. The china mice decorating the shelves trembled, and fell with a smash. Elena and Cloud were thrown to their feet, while the other ShinRa rode the bucking ground with ease.

"Ma!?" Cloud gasped, pushing himself off his hands and knees, though his success was short-lived as the ground shuddered again.

"An earthquake?" Elena frowned, as she half-crawled, half-stumbled to the heavy-set dining table. "But there hasn't been an earthquake in Nibelheim for _centuries_, why now-" Her eyes fell on the ShinRa, bracing themselves in doorways - Angeal even going into the bathroom to lie in the bathtub - and her rant stopped. She frowned a little, but before she could think any further on the matter, Cloud, from where he was still kneeling in the centre of the sitting room, stared out the window in disbelief.

"Ma? Is ... is the mountain _supposed_ to ..." Cloud couldn't get the words out, he knew what it meant, he knew what was going to happen. But he couldn't find the strength to say it. All he could do was turn to Elena desperately, and fall forwards when the floor shook beneath him.

Concerned, Elena tripped her way to Cloud's side, pausing to tuck him under her arm before following his gaze and looking out the window.

"Oh, _fuck_, no," Elena moaned, much to Cloud's amazement and - fleeting - glee, having never heard his mother swear before.

"What is it?" Angeal called from the bathroom, his voice echoing a little.

"... it's Mount Nibel. It's about to erupt."

Mount Nibel, though the fact wasn't very widely known, had thousands of years ago been a volcano. The mountain had been dormant, thought to be extinct, since before Jenova's time, when it had last erupted. The wealth of volcanic ash that had powdered the land and fertilised the soil was the reason Nibelheim's crops and grass few so notoriously well.

"E-Erupt?" Cloud stammered a little. "You mean ... as in ..?"

"We have to get out of here," Genesis muttered, picking up his Rapier from where he had leant it against Elena's sofa. "Seph, get to the car. There's a transmitter there, we can call for a chopper. I don't think the car's gonna be fast enough to outrun this."

Sephiroth nodded at this, and left the room in an elegant stride, ignoring how the earth beneath him shifted restlessly.

"How long do we have?" Angeal asked quietly. Genesis was more in tune with the world around them than the other two members of the team, while Angeal was best at, strangely, predicting the weather, and Sephiroth was probably the only one of the three that could navigate properly. Though, with the ground growing ever restless beneath them, now was hardly the time to linger such thoughts.

"It'll blow in a few hours. Three, maybe four," Genesis sighed. "It's been, five, six thousand years since it last blew? That's a lot of build up. I don't like this."

"What of the villagers?" Angeal asked, reaching over his shoulder and grasping the handle of his Buster Sword nervously. He could take legions of men with one hand tied behind his back ... but now, against one of the raw powers of Nature ... he hated feeling helpless. It was in his nature - the nature of all SOLDIER - to help where they could. But suddenly, he found himself unable to, and it cut him deep.

"We can get out, on the helicopter ... but the villagers ..." Genesis shot Angeal a heavy look, while Cloud watched the two in incomprehension, and Elena's breath caught in her throat, realising what it meant.

"Cloud-"

"Ma, what did they mean?"

"Cloudy-"

"You're gonna get out too, right Ma?"

"Look, Cloud-"

"Ma? Please!?"

"The transmission has been sent, the emergency helicopter will be here in a few minutes," Sephiroth announced, stepping back through the door, and ignoring the unbearably tense atmosphere.

"Ma?" Cloud whispered, turning so that he could see her face more clearly. She didn't look down at him, she couldn't. Not knowing that it would be the last time she saw him. She was shaking, trembling so hard her hands couldn't hold onto him as tightly as she wished.

"Cloud, just go with them," she murmured through numb lips. She could hear screams coming from the village. They had just realised that they - their lives, their farms, their families - were in danger. The ShinRa, while Angeal winced a little as the screams hit them, only moved past her in silence, somehow trusting her to do the right thing.

"You're coming too, right?"

"Cloud, we've already talked about this, I _can't_-"

"But - but you'll _die _if you don't!" Cloud clutched his mother's hands tightly, and pulled her down a little, so that she stooped over him. The ground, that had been miraculously stable for the last minute or so, bucked once more in a violent aftershock. Cloud heard something crash outside, but pad it no attention.

Elena gasped in a breath, then leant down, and for the last time pressed her nose against his. Cloud closed his eyes and leant into the gesture, savouring the closeness, the feeling of her warm - _alive -_ breath.

"Just go," Elena breathed.

"But Ma-"

"Go!"

Cloud felt someone's hands grasp his shoulders, and wrench him away from Elena.

"No! Wait - Ma!' Cloud struggled, but then another pair of hands caught him, and helped drag him out of the house. Cloud kicked and squirmed and twisted, but the hands were strong, and unrelenting, moving every time he did, and forbidding him from escaping their clutches.

Elena stepped out of the house, so that she was just outside the door. The ShinRa helicopter had landed in the neighbouring paddock, it's blades still turning swiftly. Sephiroth was there, climbing into the cabin, while Angeal and Genesis fought to keep Cloud with them. Elena's hair was whipped about her head in the draft from the helicopter's blades, and she looked up, feeling strangely numb, to see Mount Nibel looming over them, dark, heavy smoke pouring from it's broken tip steadily.

Struggling desperately, Cloud was forced into the helicopter, buckled into one of the seats and a headset forced over his ears. He pulled at the straps, but his fingers were shaking so bad he couldn't find purchase, the ties were too tight and too complicated to undo.

"_Ma!_" he howled, so loud that his throat felt like it would tear. As the other ShinRas slipped on their own headsets, they winced at the boy's cries. "_Maaaaa!_"

His eyes focused through the windows of the helicopter, focused on her tear-streaked face. She had her arms wrapped around her waist, and she was leaning against the house - _their_ house - heavily. Her lips trembled, before forming three words that Cloud understood, even he couldn't hear them.

_I love you..._

Then, the door was thrown shut, Cloud bucked against the restraints even more desperately, and the helicopter lurched a little as it finally took to the skies.

"No! Please, let me down! Please, we have to go back! We have to save her!" Cloud screamed into the headset, crying freely, slumping against the belts and straps as strained against them.

"Sedate him," an unfamiliar voice crackled in his ears. "I can't fly this thing properly if he's screaming in my ear the whole way."

Cloud fought as he felt something sharp and cold prick his shoulder, but the hands were back, holding him down while something long and thin was pressed into his skin. Then a mist fell over him, his pleas and cries grew distant and muffled, and finally, he couldn't fight any longer, and he fell into the abyss that was unconsciousness with tears still streaking his pale face.

* * *

The woman stared at the fading dot, unaware of the voices that screamed at her, of the hands that pulled at her. She saw familiar faces swimming around her, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. One of them took her hand, and forced her to run.

So she ran.

The trees grew closer together, she couldn't see the skies, she wouldn't know if he was coming back or not. She needed to see the skies; she struggled. The voices soothed her, shakily and feebly, but they comforted her, and urged her on.

So she went on.

Her mind was a blur, she was unaware of time passing, only of the hope and desperate knowledge that the boy with blonde hair and beautiful eyes was going to come back. The ground was shaking. She fell to her knees, but then there was warmth, that wrapped around her and whispered in her ear to keep on fighting.

So she kept on fighting.

There were flashes of black, deep brown, vibrant green, shimmering red, but they all melded into one, all she could see before her was the boy's face as he struggled to reach her, and he struggled to find her. _Cloud..._

His name, of course, the woman raised her face to the heavens, and whispered to him. _Cloud... He didn't answer._

So she spoke louder. _Cloud._

He wasn't there, she couldn't see him. He was gone.

So she screamed.

_**Cloud!!**_

He wasn't there anymore. The warmth around her wasn't him, the hands in hers weren't his, the voices that surrounded her weren't ... his.

A pain she had felt only once before, long, long ago, in a memory that brought whispers of silver and feline-grace, washed over her. When the trees opened over her and she looked up, she could see only smoke and darkness. The sky was gone, all trace of the boy, of him, of _Cloud_, were vanished. She needed to see the sky, she had to, so she would know when he returned.

Then the ground shook, she could feel heat and desperation, she was pulled into a deep, cool darkness, and then everything ... was gone.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter One: Blood to Bleed. _Cloud sees Midgar for the first time, and his heritage is revealed. _


	9. Part Three, Chapter One

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **This would have been up on Friday, but a horse went through a fence and hurt her leg, followed by an on-going chain of Drama that postponed the updating of this FanFiction. I apologise for the lateness of this chapter, I hope you can understand.

This chapter turned out a lot different than I planned. During the first draft, it was a chapter full of Angst and Betrayal ... but, somehow, it turned out like this. (Confused expression.) The scene with Tseng and Scarlet was purely spontaneous.

Anyway, welcome to the third part of this saga! This part will be detailing Cloud's time before his graduation as a ShinRa, and will also include the introduction of many new, and important, characters. This particular chapter is more of a filler than anything, setting the scene and such for the remainder of this part. The songs aren't relevant any more, which is rather annoying.

**Important Message: **The Summary for this fanfiction has now changed, under the recommendation of Koruyuha. I've been playing around with it for a few days, it has changed quite a few times.

**Quote: **This is quote from one of the songs listed below, that I thought was particularly fitting for this Part of the story. _"I don't believe men are born to be killers; I don't believe the world can't be saved. How did you get here and when did it start? And innocent child with a thorn in his heart."_

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'World So Cold' by 12 Stones, 'Believe' by Staind, 'Hit the Floor' by Thousand Foot Krutch, 'Blood to Bleed' by Rise Against.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter One: Blood to Bleed**

Sephiroth stood at the foot of the bed, watching the pale blonde boy sleeping. There was a Human doctor hovering over him, adjusting tubes and machines, scribbling notes and sighing heavily. Behind Sephiroth, through the heavily tinted glass window, was the ShinRa Council.

The Council was made of eight of the highest ranked ShinRa, four of them SOLDIER, four of them Turk. Sephiroth himself was the youngest SOLIDER to achieve a place in the ShinRa Council, having been a member for just over a month. The youngest member of all ShinRa, however, went to a Turk, Tseng, who was seventeen years old when he was called to join their ranks. The half-Wutian, half-ShinRa was currently eighteen, still a full year younger than Sephiroth himself.

The other members of the Council varied greatly. The eldest was a SOLDIER by the name of Abei, who in his early fifties, and was coincidentally one of the few ShinRa to have ever married a Human. After him was Vincent, Lucrecia, and the current Leader of the Turks, a man named Verdot, completing the four Turk positions that filled half of the ShinRa Council. The remaining two positions were taken by the SOLDIERs Kadaj and Scarlet, both well known for their accomplishments of the previous decade.

So, with the seven other Council members watching from the adjacent room, Sephiroth sighed and looked down on his alleged brother.

"When will he wake?" Sephiroth asked the doctor impatiently, only to have the Human wave his request off absently, and frown down at the clipboard he carried. The man muttered a little, then hit the 'print' button on a nearby computer soundly for the second time. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, there's something wrong with this chart," the man grumbled, snatching the still-warm sheet of paper and goggling at it again, before finally turning to the computer in exasperation. "Excuse me, SOLDIER, but there appears to be a malfunction in the computing system, I'll need to send for a technician to-"

"There's nothing wrong with the system," Sephiroth cut across the man, looking down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper he had retrieved from the white tiled floor. "These results are ... correct."

The Human looked across at him, and looked about to snort in disbelief, before remembering who exactly he was dealing with.

"With all due respect, sir," he said in a tone implying the exact opposite, "those results border on insanity. If that - that _child_ really does have that ... if he really _is_ ... look, it's impossible, okay? There is no way one body can hold that much ... potential, we've gone over it a hundred times, there are _limits_ to the body, limits which cannot be _broken_-"

"Then I believe it is safe to say they have _been_ _broken_," Sephiroth glared at the flushed Human, growing tired of his complaints. "We already knew his Presence was off the charts, what I am interested in, however, are the results concerning his blood and genetics-"

"Ah, yes, I have them here-" the Human cut across the ShinRa foolishly, turning at exactly the wrong moment and missing the impressive tick that had appeared over Sephiroth's eye.

"Give them to me," Sephiroth demanded in a tone that broached no argument, taking the paper from the doctor without even waiting for the man to check over them.

Sephiroth looked down at the paper, staring blankly for a few long, tense seconds, then lowering the paper and closing his eyes in defeat.

"It's true then..." he sighed, glaring at the still body of the child, then behind him to where the other Council members watched from the shadows. "He is my brother. The mother was, indeed, Elena Strife."

"He looks just like her," a voice purred from his shoulder. Sephiroth turned to see his father stalk into the room, still impressive even aged as he was. Kadaj still held a little power in the Council, and in ShinRa, through it had fallen as his body aged. Kadaj was still highly respected in ShinRa, of course, though the respect had, recently, fallen to the younger, more able ShinRa that took he and his team-mates' place in the future of the Planet.

"I noticed..." Sephiroth agreed, turning and watching as Kadaj walked silently to the boy's side, reaching out to touch one cheek lightly. Sephiroth watched the exchange in confusion. Kadaj was obviously caught in the past, seeing not the boy, but the woman he had once courted for nine months, until he was born. "Kadaj?"

"Nothing," Kadaj shook his head, stepping back from the boy. "Who is the child's father?"

"..." Sephiroth looked down at the paper, staring in shock. The Human doctor shifted in impatience, while Kadaj simply cleared his throat and looked at his son pointedly.

"Yes?"

"Vincent. His father is ... Vincent."

A muffled curse was heard from the neighbouring room, followed by something that sounded suspiciously like a smashed vase or cup. The door to the hospital room was thrown open seconds later, and an enraged Vincent stormed in, his crimson eyes flashing dangerously.

"He is _not_ _my son!!_" he roared, actually trembling in suppressed anger, or perhaps denial, it was difficult to tell.

"The tests do not lie," Sephiroth informed the older man ruthlessly, waving the incriminating piece of paper mockingly. "It has my name recorded as "half-brother," along with N-"

"She took the pills," Vincent shook his head violently, raving senselessly. "I saw her, I watched her swallow them, I thought she was ... I thought he ..." Vincent breathed out a sharp breath and collapsed into a nearby chair. Then, suddenly, it was as if he had never broken down in the first place. His face was a mask, perfectly composed, his back ram-rod straight and his eyes cool and collected. "What should be done with him?"

Even used to wearing such a mask himself, Sephiroth was - subconsciously - unnerved at such a display of raw control over his emotions, and rustled the papers a little before continuing in his low, crisp voice,

"His Presence is off the charts, clearly beyond my own. He has had some lasting effect from being suppressed for so long, namely the coma he has found himself in ... hm ..." Sephiroth scrolled the rest of the text, looking for something that might interest the Council, and nervously waiting men before him. "Ah - apparently he has a strong case of claustrophobia."

"Really?" Kadaj moved to look over Sephiroth's shoulder, frowning at the paper. "Now, that won't do. ShinRa do not have weakness. We can cover that in training."

"When will he be initiated into training?"

Kadaj and Sephiroth turned at the new voice, inclining their head in an eerily identical gesture of respect. It was Abei, his light brown hair and matching eyes faded with time, creases around his eyes indicators of the wisdom and time he had gathered beneath him. He was the oldest ShinRa still in service, and had fathered more children than any other of his generation, with seven sons and three daughters running through the halls of Midgar Central.

"As soon as he wakes, he can be debriefed and introduced to his peers," the Human Doctor announced, trying not to stare at Abei, and failing miserably. "Sir."

"About that," Sephiroth inserted, frowning at his half-brother thoughtfully. "He has had little to no training. He is unsuited to the subjects his peers are learning, and by the looks of his physical results, a first year Trainee could take him unarmed. He'll need to be placed in the lowest class, and work his was up from there."

"Are you suggesting he stay with the first years?" Abei looked at Sephiroth seriously, shifting his weight a little and tapping his fingers absently.

"Yes, I am," Sephiroth replied without pause. "Though he will likely be ... taunted for it, I believe it is for the best."

"I suppose you are right..." Kadaj moved around from behind his son to the opposite side of the bed, again looking down at the familiar - yet unfamiliar - features of the sleeping child. "Vincent? Have you anything to say about this?"

Vincent raised his eyes from where he had been staring numbly at the floor, and shook his head absently.

"No objections..." Vincent mumbled, rubbing his forehead in a rare show of weakness. Abei saw the man's weariness, and moved to sit in one of the padded metal chairs beside him.

"Vincent, you are in shock. I suggest you spend the rest of the day off - perhaps Lucrecia could also spend some time away from work?"

Vincent raised his eyes at the question, and nodded silently. The ShinRas heard the distant sound of a door opening, followed by sharp footsteps; the Human heard nothing, his hearing dull and weak, child's play next to their own.

Lucrecia stepped through the doorway, dressed in her immaculate Turk uniform and smiling serenely at Vincent as she stepped forward to take his hand.

"I'll take care of him," she assured Abei softly, drawing Vincent away, and keeping her hold on him as they left the room.

"I _so_ did not need that visual," the young dark-haired Turk, Tseng, muttered in the adjacent room, his short hair pulled into a stubby pony-tail, his slanting eyes as of yet unmarked by age or trauma. His suit was crisp and well-made, though his long limbs still held a little of the 'gangly-teenager' look, and it was obvious he had not yet reached his full maturity.

Scarlet, dressed in one of the smallest SOLDIER uniforms Midgar had seen, looked to her left - and down a little - to eye the Turk amusedly.

"I'll have you know that none of the rest of us made that connection," she informed the Turk. "Must have been your reputable 'Teenage Libido' speaking."

Tseng shot a clearly unimpressed glare at the older woman. The other Council members - but for Abei, of course - constantly made jabs at his youth, throwing around off-hand comments that, while amusing to the others, in truth wore him down a little. Even his Mentor, Verdot, would tease him every now and then.

"And _I'll_ have _you_ know that Iat least saved my virginity until I was sixteen, unlike the entire male populace of _your _generation. Now, I wonder why _that_ is?" Tseng gave Scarlet - and her alarmingly revealing clothes - a pointed look.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Verdot sighed, stepping between the two and putting a - temporary - end to the long-standing argument. "Now, let's pay attention to what's happening on the _other_ side of the glass, hm?"

Tseng and Scarlet shot each other a last, quick glare before following the Head Turk's "advice" and gazing through the dark glass to the unveiling scene on the other side.

* * *

The remaining ShinRa looked over at the blonde-haired boy when he groaned unexpectedly, shifting in his bed and tossing his head.

"Doctor?" Sephiroth asked, stepping up to his brother's side and frowning down at him.

"It appears he is having a nightmare," the Human assessed after examining a few charts and heart-monitors. "And quite a violent one at that."

The boy groaned, low and deep, filled of pain and loss that truly struck worry - even fear - in the three ShinRa's hearts; ShinRa had, until now, never felt such pain before. Such pain only came from the loss of someone you loved, and ShinRa made certain to never love anyone that could not fend for themselves, protect themselves from such harm.

"Can you wake him?" Abei moved past Sephiroth, and even went as far as to kneel at the boy's side, pushing back a strand of hair absently. The child leant into his touch, seeming to crave it, but the SOLDIER pulled his hand back and stood, facing the Human doctor over the twisting sheets.

"I - yes," the Human nodded hurriedly, before rushing to a nearby table and retuning with a small bottle. He unscrewed the cap and measured five drops, before spilling them into a bag of clear fluid that hung nearby. The bag of fluid was the IV, and with the five drops of liquid that now ran through it, the boy was soon stirring.

* * *

"_Cloud ... Cloud, where are you? Cloud, help me, please, don't leave me! Cloud? Cloud! _Cloud!"

Cloud gasped and reached for her, but she was too far away. He couldn't see her, he couldn't reach her ... he felt something brush his forehead - it was _her! _- but when he leant for more, the touch was gone, and he was left, once more, alone.

Cloud whirled, searching through the darkness for _her_, but she wasn't there!! Where _was_ she?! He was just about ready to tear his hair from his head in frustration, when he felt something brush against him. Cloud shifted the effected arm, and felt that same brush: fabric, though far softer than anything he'd felt in his life, far lighter and smoother. Something was wrong, he could feel that same cloth embracing his body, wrapping him tightly, so tightly he almost couldn't move. He strained, and pulled one arm free of the blankets encasing him, rubbing his aching eyes.

"Wazgoi'uhn?" Cloud groaned, tilting his head to one side and daring to open his eyes just a slit. No sooner had he focused, than he recognised the face that stared impassively down at him. "Gah!" he cried, lurching back and hitting his head against the metal poles that surrounded the bed he lay in. "You!"

"Me," Sephiroth confirmed, raising an eyebrow as he met the eyes of the flushed blonde.

"Ugh, this can't be ... happen ... where's Ma?" Cloud trailed off, and took a completely different route when he realised just who was missing. Memory still hadn't caught up with him, though for some reason the scent of sulphur and charcoal lingered in his mind ...

"You mean Elena?" another voice offered, and Cloud turned his eyes on the other silver-haired man in the room, flitting between the two and marvelling at the similarities, much like others had marvelled at the similarity between Cloud and his mother (not that they knew it.)

"Yeah, is she here?" Cloud leant forward eagerly, unknowingly brushing away the doctor that hovered over him.

"She's ..." the older silver-haired ShinRa glanced at Sephiroth, and stepped back, obviously handing him the task of speaking.

"Where is she?"

Sephiroth stared coldly down at him, and then spoke.

Cloud's cries did not quiet for hours after.

* * *

Cloud waited before the metallic double-doors that Kadaj had led him too.

"This is where you will live for the next eleven years," he'd informed him. "Until you graduate as a SOLDIER."

"But don't ShinRa graduate at sixteen?" Cloud had asked, confused. His eyes were red from tears, though thankfully dry as they paced the long corridors.

"Yes, they do," Kadaj had replied simply, leaving Cloud to narrow his eyes at the back of his head in annoyance.

Now, Cloud stood alone, his tattered backpack clutched in both hands before him, almost as a shield. He could hear faint laughter on the other side of the doors, and his mood lightened a little at the thought of having someone new to meet and play with, even if they were ShinRa. Perhaps he could make friends here, and replace what he had lost?

Taking a deep breath, Cloud reached out with one hand, and pushed the doors open.

His heart fell. The children running around, laughing, playing, they were not the ones he had expected. These children ... they were nothing more than _babies_, barely out of nappies, still stumbling over words and wearing Velcro shoe straps instead of tie-up ones.

The room itself was spacious, with a high ceiling and soft, pastel coloured walls. There were large cubes and prisms scattered around the place, made of sponge or something similar, and a series of computers and wide-screen televisions down the far end, playing educational videos and 'sing-a-long' videos. There were about twenty children running about, all wearing light grey and silver clothes, and with brightly glowing eyes of various colours. There were five or six adult Humans scattered around in dark blue uniforms, helping the children out and sitting with them, pressing buttons or playing clapping games.

All in all, it was, quite frankly, sickening.

Cloud couldn't help but compare what could only be called a nursery, to his time in Nibelheim. There had been only five children around his age, and they had spent much time together, though not exclusively. The children of Nibelheim did not have nurseries or childcare-centres; instead, toddlers and infants were carried around in slings on their parents' backs as they worked on farms, or left to their own attentions in a small pile of wooden, unpainted toys. At best, two or three of the small children would be thrown together in a home-made play pen and given an old colouring book.

_This_ ... this place, this room, was nothing short of ridiculous.

"Ooh, you must be _Cloud!_" One of the helpers bounced over, coming to a stop at his side and bending forward in a way that was far too patronising. "Welcome to ShinRa!"

Cloud stared up at the woman in shock, then back at the moving, excited, _happy_ room.

"Now, I know you've lived outside Midgar," the woman beamed happily, "and it must be a _biiiig_ shock for you to come from _that_ to such an _amazing_ place, but one day, you will be the Future of ShinRa, and this is where it all begins!" The woman looked around the room, pointing out the various activities that could be seen. "Isn't it _cool?_"

Cloud looked up at the woman, entirely not in the mood to play the games she seemed to want to. She looked down at him, and smiled even wider, so in an act conceived entirely from a desire to stump her, Cloud reminded the woman,

"My mother just _died_."

It had been three days since he'd found out. Three days since Sephiroth had told him in a uncaring, remorseless voice, that Elena was gone. Cloud had cried for hours, screamed and begged and denied, but they had simply held him down, and repeated her fate until he finally cried himself to sleep. The next morning, he had awoken, stubbornly claiming that they were lying. It had taken him hours to realise they weren't going to believe him, so instead, he had kept his thoughts to himself, and let them think what they would; he knew the truth. He knew she was still there, waiting for him. _I hope..._

The woman blinked at the statement, her smile slipping a little, and she even went as far to give him a small look of pity, before she took him by the arm and led him into the fray and chaos that was the First Year ShinRa Training Class.

* * *

Cloud was shown to a spacious bedroom, behind one of the many doors that lined the joined Play Room, and told that he was to share it with one other of the SOLDIER Trainees. His bed was pushed against the far wall, and was not framed with metal or planks of wood, but carved and painted, thin sheets of plywood that were nailed to the ground, and patterned into cartoon faces and landscapes. He had a chest of drawers and a small wardrobe, and he and the boy he would be sharing with had a wide, though high-set window that lay directly between their two halves.

Upon opening the drawers (after ditching the Caretaker at the door), Cloud saw that they were already filled with the same silvery clothes that seemed to be the uniform around ShinRa Training Centre. _Oh, Planet, now they're making me into another ShinRa clone..._ Cloud suddenly regretted not bringing his own worn, comfortable clothes when he ran his fingers over the stiff fabric.

After dropping his backpack in the middle of his brightly coloured bed, Cloud began to walk around, examining the room in greater detail, but before he could, the door opened, revealing a small boy with nut brown hair and dark blue eyes.

"Are you Cloud?" the boy asked in an eager voice, looking up at him in an emotion that was somehow both awe and fear.

"Yes," Cloud answered at length, hesitating, then turning to fully face the boy, and smiling broadly. "What's your name?"

"I'm Denzel," the boy beamed. "I'm five-" he held up five fingers to demonstrate his point, "-years old, but the Caretaker said that you're older than me. How many years old are you?"

"Nine."

"Woooooah, you're _old!_" Denzel gaped in amazement. "Why are you in here if you're so old? You're even older than Kassi, and she's the oldest person in my class!"

"I guess ... it's because I don't know all the things that the older people do," Cloud sighed.

"Ooh, I get it," Denzel nodded knowingly at the other Trainee. "You're dumb!"

"Wha - no, I am _not_," Cloud spluttered, frowning at the younger boy in annoyance. "I lived with my Ma, she was a school teacher, she taught me loads of things! I can do times tables up to twelve, and I can recite the first ten Elements!"

"Who was your Ma?"

"Elena. Miss Strife," Cloud smiled proudly.

"Wait - your Ma was a _Human_!?" Denzel's mouth fell open, and expression that Cloud would only grow too accustomed to. "You lived with a _Human!?_"

"Yes," Cloud drew the word out impatiently, daring the boy to say more. Unfortunately, the subtleties of conversation were lost on the younger ShinRa, and he blundered along, clueless.

"Wow, no wonder you're stupid! Humans aren't very good teachers, are they? Miss Janet is a Human, and she isn't a very good teacher, but Miss Margaret is a ShinRa like me, and she teaches real good!"

Cloud glared at the boy ferociously.

"Humans are _not_ stupid! I lived with them for nine years, I should know!"

"You don't really think that - they probably controlled your mind," Denzel nodded in confirmation. "It's okay, you can't help it. Humans are _weird_ like that."

And with that, Denzel waved happily good bye, before bounding out of the room, cheerfully announcing to the rest of the Trainees that the new boy was stupid, his mind controlled by rogue Humans, and that his hair was really, really spiky.

Cloud fell back onto his bed, and groaned deeply. He could already tell his years in ShinRa were going to be long, and painful.

* * *

**Note: **For some reason, I don't like how this Chapter turned out.

**Next: **Part Three, Chapter Two: Vampires Will Never Hurt You. _On a more serious note, Cloud meets his Father for the first time._


	10. Part Three, Chapter Two

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Alright, I know I said I would update faster, but I truthfully don't think I can! Even though it _is_ the holidays, my imagination and creativity can only go so far! Perhaps, once in a while, I may update a little earlier than usual. Though for now, I think it's safe to say that my new update schedule is every Monday (New Zealand time ... probably Sunday for most of the people that read this), once a week. Everyone happy? Good. My cat's stealing my pizza, and I wanna finish this chapter before dawn (it's _really_ hard to go to sleep at dawn ... birds are so _loud_ ...)

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'An End Has a Start' by The Editors, 'Vampires WIll Never Hurt You' by My Chemical Romance, 'Human' and 'I've Got Soul, But I'm Not a Soldier' by The Killers. And a song that is _completely_ irrelevant, but kept me in an up-beat attitude when I was about to fall asleep ... 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Two: Vampires Will Never Hurt You**

Cloud woke before the communal alarm sounded, long habit waking him as the sun rose. He looked around the darkened room, his heightened senses picking out the details easily. In the spare time he found himself in, he wandered around the unlit Playroom, frowning at the "toys" that were scattered around, and the glowing screens that had not yet been turned off, lighting that corner of the room in changing violets, green and reds.

Sighing in regret, Cloud had found the showers and pulled off his worn, comfortable clothes, showering briefly, then easing himself into the two-piece, metallic silver uniform. There was a small red and white logo on the right lapel that he picked at nervously, and the shoes were to laugh at, so much that Cloud actually threw them back into his closet and pulled on his own, comfortable shoes from home.

Home. Nibelheim.

Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, straining to calm himself. With the unfamiliar anger he could feel boiling within him, he was proud of how he'd handled himself thus far; he hadn't lost control - well, except for that episode in the hospital room - and he hadn't let yelled or screamed or accused anyone of ... of destroying ...

The bell rung, high pitched, echoing, artificial. Cloud jumped at the noise, and again when cries of both elation and dismay rose from the waking ShinRas. Caretakers rushed in from doors all about, checking in at each child's door, making sure the children were awake and getting ready for the day.

"Cloud! Why are you awake already?"

Cloud turned to see Denzel beaming at him, dressed in forest patterned pyjamas and slippers.

"I always wake up early," Cloud answered simply. "It's a part of living in the m-mountains."

"You lived in the _mountains_?" Denzel gasped, staring at Cloud with even more interest than before.

"Yes, Nibelheim," Cloud confirmed, patiently waiting for the younger boy to struggling out of his sleep clothes and into his day one.

"Where's that?" Denzel asked as he wrestled with the shirt, pulling it down before realising that it was on backwards.

"...in the mountains?" Cloud replied, confused and showing it.

Denzel suddenly pulled his head through the shirt hole, whooping in joy at having done it the right way around this time. Cloud's face took on a pained expression at the thought of having to put up with this for the next few years to come, and already was contemplating escape.

But that was it. If he _did_ escape, where would he go? ShinRa had the satellites, Ma had told him about them, even if he did run away, they would be able to find him again in a heartbeat. Nibelheim was the only place that was safe from the satellites, but Nibelheim was ... gone.

Cloud lowered his eyes in sorrow, thinking of Tifa, and Johnny, and Gareth, and everyone he had left behind, but most of all, Elena. He thought of the small house he and his mother had shared, he thought of the barn where school was held four times a week, he thought of the fields where he and the other children had played, he thought of the lake where they had swum in summer, and skated on in winter. He saw Nibelheim.

But then, in an imagination he would later curse, the image in his mind's eye was swamped by fire and molten rock, washed away in smouldering flames, and screams echoed behind his eyes. He could see smoke and ash in rolling clouds blotting out the sun, tainting the snow and everything it touched. He could see the forests stripped away until they were nothing more than blackened twigs, he saw the grass and crops buried under rock and rubble. He saw the destruction of Nibelheim.

"Hey, what's this?"

Cloud whirled, his fear spluttering in his heart when he saw Denzel clutching his tattered backpack, and holding up a rose-coloured, crude stone that hung from a dull chain.

"Hey - give that back!" Cloud lurched forward and snatched it from Denzel, taking the backpack as well, as an afterthought.

"What is it? I wanna see it!" Denzel pounced after him, but Cloud kept stepping away, making sure to hold the two items well out of reach.

"It's a necklace, from my Ma. No - stop! Let go of it!" Denzel had managed to catch hold of the dangling chain, and was attempting to pull the crystal from Cloud's tight grip.

"I just wanna have a tiny look! Please?" Denzel made his eyes wide, and consciously had them shine a little, an expression that always worked with Caretakers. But Cloud only frowned, and tightened his fingers around the stone.

"No! It's important to me, I don't want you breaking it-"

"I won't break it, promise! I just want to see-"

Denzel pulled a little harder, the chain stretched taught for just a moment, before a weak link snapped, and the chain fell to the ground, the links slipping through Cloud's hand until all he held was the crystal itself.

Cloud stared down at the broken necklace in dismay. He had been planning to wear the necklace, to keep his mother close to him, but now, it was impossible ...

"I'm really sorry! Really!"

Cloud's eyes raised numbly in stunned shock, to see Denzel standing before him, pleading once again with his eyes, pouting a little.

"I didn't mean to break it! I swear!"

"You..." Cloud found to his surprise, and shame, that he was shaking in anger. He looked down at his trembling hands in surprise, trying and failing to stop their uncontrollable movements. He could feel energy building up inside him, emotions he was a complete stranger to, feelings he had never experienced before. _What on Planet?! What's happening to me?_

Cloud had always been the docile one, the one that was always smiling and happy, and that took everything in his stride, who never got angry or vengeful, who could never hold a grudge, or feel hate or dislike.

But ever since he came to ShinRa, it was as if the opposite had overcome him. Suddenly, he looked at the world, and he saw not the beauty, but the wrong, the ugly. He looked down into Denzel's eyes, and where before he would have forgiven him, he now felt only anger. Earlier, when Sephiroth had told him of his hometown's fate, where he should have simply lowered his head and prayed for their passing, he had instead lost control of his emotions, he had gone _wild_, he had cried and screamed and tore down the walls of the people who had - technically - saved his life.

_Why is this happening to me?_

Cloud opened his eyes, and forced himself to stare coldly down at Denzel.

"Go. Away."

_I don't want to hurt you ... and I fear I won't be able to control myself much longer. Please, go away. Planet, what is _happening_ to me?!_

"But - I'm sorry!"

"Just go, _away_," Cloud repeated, his clenched fist shaking a little, feeling the sharp edges of the coloured stone cutting his palm. The blonde looked away so he wouldn't see the look of self-pity, and apology on the brunette's face.

Cloud closed his eyes tightly and turned to the nearest wall, swinging his arm and punching it soundly, then staring at the dented wood in surprise, and fear. Why_ did I do that? I never get violent ... I've never even shouted at anyone before. Where on _Planet_ did that come from?!_

Cloud didn't turn around when he heard Denzel slam the door behind him. He didn't turn around when he heard that same door edge open. When he felt the large, hesitant hand of one of the Caretakers land on his shoulder, Cloud started a little, and flinched away from them.

"Please, don't touch me."_ I can't ... please, I'm so angry ... I don't know why, but I'm so _angry _..._

"The other Trainees are heading off to their first class," the Caretaker said in a soft voice, her fingers tightening on his shoulder. "You should go join them, before they get too far ahead."

"Okay," Cloud dared to whisper, trying to rein in the flare of emotion that had rekindled as his foot nudged the broken chain at his feet.

"Go," the Caretaker repeated, pushing him towards the door a little. Cloud followed the movement, walking, then running through the Playroom and out the doors that led to the corridor. He was just in time to see the back of one of the his new classmates disappear around a corner, and soon he was sprinting in that direction. He didn't really know why he was trying so hard to catch them - it wasn't as if he _wanted_ to go to class, after all - but he justified himself with the thought that if he didn't have something to occupy his mind ... well, he didn't know what he'd do.

The stone he still held in his palm, pressing into painful edges, was now speckled with blood. Cloud opened his palm as he walked, and looked fondly down at it, before tucking it away into a zip-up pocket. Now, in hindsight, the broken chain wasn't all that bad - at least he still had the stone itself. The chain could be easily replaced.

Despite this thought, however, Cloud still couldn't reign in his anger towards the younger ShinRa. He had no idea what was fuelling this anger, only that it was there, burning in him like a glowing candle. Cloud could feel it's warmth even now, when his mind had calmed to realise that such anger was fruitless and unfounded. It scared him.

By the time he had caught up with his new classmates, they were in a completely new area of the huge ShinRa complex that Cloud had never seen before. There were two Caretakers at the head of the group, leading them through the winding corridors, herding them into elevators and through doors. The end result was twenty or so children in matching uniforms standing in a high-ceilinged, soft-floored gymnasium with a tall, beautiful woman in a SOLDIER uniform looking down at them.

"Well, welcome back, class!" Scarlet sighed, propping her hands on her hips and muttering about "sexist pigs" before beaming back down at the children. "Now, we have a new student today, Cloud?" Cloud stepped forward, carefully avoiding Denzel's eye. He could hear the boy whispering behind him, and knew that his "cold" attitude would spread among the other children quickly. He couldn't find it in himself to care; if they left him alone, maybe he would have time to control these inexplicable urges he found himself falling to. Then, when he was back to his old, cheerful self ... _then_ he would go in search of friendship. Only then, when he wouldn't be afraid of losing his anger; when he wouldn't be afraid of hurting them.

"Okay, the rest of you can get out the practise swords and start your exercises," Scarlet told the room at large, looking to the helpers at the edge of the room to aid the children, before looking down at Cloud, standing alone when the others rushed away. "_You_, Cloud, are going to come with me."

Cloud followed nervously, looking over and seeing the others standing in neat lines - so unlike the disorderly play he had witnessed the previous day - each holding their own wooden sword and swinging it simply, but confidently. Cloud lowered his head, and watched the feet of the instructor at they moved to a mat far at the other end of the room.

"Here, this can be your practice sword," Scarlet handed Cloud a wooden sword that was noticeably smaller than the others. Cloud looked up at her, offended, but she paid him no notice and adjusted his hands on the hilt. "This is how you hold it - no, like _this_," she twisted his hands a little, spreading them further apart and loosening the fingers a little. "Now, I want you to swing it upwards like - _no!_ Not like that! Like - well, _that's_ no better. Look, you swing it like-"

Cloud glared at her in annoyance - did it not occur to her that he might to better with a demonstration?

Then his eyes shifted past her, to a movement at the doors, and saw a dark-haired, red-eyed Turk standing there in his immaculate uniform, watching Cloud with expressionless eyes. There was something familiar about the man - Cloud suspected he may have seen him before - but before Cloud could ponder on it any longer, Scarlet took his hands firmly in her own, and forcibly swung the sword in his hands.

"See? Now, you try it."

Cloud sighed, and tried to copy the movement, but halfway through a splinter pierced a cut on his palm, where the stone his mother had given him had cut earlier that morning, and he dropped the sword with a yelp, holding the throbbing hand to his chest. He heard snickers, and saw that the other children had paused in their routine to watch him shortly, and had obviously witnessed his plight. Then, Cloud felt the heavy weight of another gaze, and raised his head to see the man by the door shaking his head in disappointment.

"Uh ... Miss?" Cloud turned to Scarlet, who was shaking her head at him also, crossing her arms over her chest. "Who was that, by the door?"

Scarlet did not answer immediately, instead leaning over to adjust his hands once again.

"Your father," she bluntly told him, tilting the blade a little, then stepping away in satisfaction. "Okay, try that again, only a little higher this time."

Cloud stared at her, his fingers shaking on the hilt of the sword, and whirled around to face the door once again ... but the man was gone.

* * *

When class ended, Cloud was the first one out the door. He ran down the corridors aimlessly, ignoring the yelps and startled cries of the people he threw aside, carving a way through them, searching for the one he had seen before, the dark one. He could hear people shouting after him, but he ignored them. All he could think of was the man, his _father_, who perhaps might offer him comfort or advice in what Cloud could only see as a dark time of his life.

He turned another corner, and saw him, standing there as innocent as you please, talking to a woman with long tresses of brown hair, dressed in an identical uniform and smiling sweetly. Instinctively, Cloud hung back, hiding half around the corner and listening.

"... saw him. Exactly like his mother ... human ... _weak_ ... he couldn't even _hold_ the sword correctly! Cloud is a _disgrace_ to the name of ShinRa. He is clearly not fit to be my son ..."

"Oh, Vincent, I'm sorry ..."

"It is not you who should be sorry, Lucrecia. I had pinned my hopes on this boy to bring honour to my family ... now, I fear my blood will never be honourable."

"I am sorry, Vincent. I cannot-"

"It's not your fault, Lu. You know it isn't."

Cloud froze and stared at the back of the man's head, all he could see of him. He had not heard the latter half of the two Turks' conversation; his mind had frozen when Vincent had said ...

_He is clearly not fit to be my son_...

Cloud slapped a hand to his mouth and turned away, eyes wide and glazed with pain and shock. This man - his father - didn't even _know_ him, but already he thought him unworthy of the title "son."

Again, voice called to him, and Cloud fell towards them willingly, begging them to take back what the stranger had said, praying that they could erase what he had said.

He, Cloud, was not _worthy_ to be his son ...

Cloud rose from the haze of his mind to find himself perched on the end on his bed, three Caretakers gathered around him, with on kneeing before him, and another two standing beside, a hand on each of his shoulders.

"Hey? Are you in there?"

Cloud blinked and raised his head. The Caretaker visibly sighed in relief, and loosened his hold on Cloud's shoulders.

"Okay. You're okay," the man whispered, leaning back on his heels and smiling at Cloud thankfully. "Now, what happened?"

Cloud looked up at the man, who looked younger than he'd expect, in his early twenties or late teens - about Sephiroth's age, now that Cloud thought about it. He had black hair, short and unruly, and golden brown eyes with thick eyelashes, a woman's eyes that were probably inherited from his mother. Cloud looked closer, and saw not even a hint of the glow, the spark, that was ShinRa. Realising that he was Human, Cloud turned to look at the other two Caretakers, and saw that they too were of his kind.

"You are ... Humans," Cloud blinked in surprise, looking back down at the man that knelt before him. The man nodded, and suddenly looked ashamed, lowering his eyes a little.

"We are," he agreed solemnly. "And I know what you ShinRa think of us, I know you think I have no place here, but-"

"No! I ... I think it's wonderful," Cloud smiled genuinely at him, and he felt the flames of anger and betrayal calm in him for the first time since they had risen earlier that morning. "I'm glad I'm not alone here."

"But ... you're not a Human?" the man frowned, clearly puzzled, and shared a confused look with the other two Caretakers.

"No ... but I was raised among them. I might as well _be_ one," Cloud smiled at him.

"Oh - then you _are_ the one they brought in last week?" the man perked up a little, and rose to sit beside Cloud on the bed. The other two Caretakers, after seeing that Cloud was stable again, left the room to check on the other children, who were resting in the Playroom before lunch, which would be held in half an hour or so. "Vincent's son?"

Cloud's good mood plunged, and the man seemed to sense he had done something wrong, for he put a comforting hand on Cloud's shoulder, and rubbed it softly.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, and Cloud nearly sobbed at the worry in the man's voice, which alone held more genuine emotion than he'd felt thus far at ShinRa.

"He ... my father, he ... I heard him. I saw him, and I followed him ... he said I wasn't fit ..." Cloud rubbed away moisture that had gathered in his eyes, and straightened his shoulders a little, to find the strength to say what he needed it. It was as if my saying them aloud, it would make them true. But this Human, he had spoken to Cloud with more understanding and compassion that he'd felt since Elena had held him. How could Cloud _not_ answer? "He said I wasn't fit to be his son."

"What?!" the Human gasped, tightening his fingers on Cloud's shoulder. "Why?"

"I dropped the sword today when we were practising," Cloud mumbled. "He saw me."

"That's no reason to think you might be _unfit_," the Caretaker huffed. Cloud smiled, and looked up at him. For some reason, he felt inclined to trust this man, he felt drawn to him, as if he held some sort of parental authority than could guide him, comfort him the way his mother had. "He does not know you; he does not have the right to judge you." He glanced at his watch, and groaned a little. Lunch was approaching rapidly, and it was the Caretakers' job to round the children up before taking them down to the colossal, communal mess hall. "Look, I have to go soon, but I'll be back again when afternoon classes are finished, if you still wanna talk. I work full time as a Caretaker, so I'm always around if you need me." He rose to leave, though paused when Cloud reach out and caught his sleeve in one hand.

"Thank you," Cloud told the man genuinely. "For ... listening. And caring."

"It's alright, Cloud," the Caretaker smiled down at him, ruffling his hair a little. "I understand how you feel, and in return, I feel ... somehow obliged to protect you. You obviously hold a lot of love in your heart, little SOLDIER. You may look like a ShinRa, but you have the soul of a Human. You were not meant for the cold nature of ShinRa, that much is obvious. I want to help you. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to ... my door is always open."

"What is your name?" Cloud asked as the man once again went to leave. The man hesitated, debating as to whether or not to speak, before relenting and telling the boy,

"My name is Nanaki. Son of Deneh ... and Vincent."

* * *

Lunch was a frightening affair. Cloud sat with his classmates in the table furthest to the left in the colossal room. As each table progressed to the right, so did their age groups; on the furthest left was the First Year Trainees, then the Second, then the Third, all the way up until the Elenventh. After that, the tables became smaller, and were scattered about without rhyme or pattern. In each year, there were approximately twenty SOLDIER Trainees; in all, there were between two and three hundred Trainees alone. There were almost three times that of Graduated SOLDIERs. At first, Cloud had been awe-struck by the mere number of people in the room, the noise they generated, the piles and piles of food that were consumed. Then, seeing his wide expression, one of his classmates mentioned that this was only the SOLDIER mess hall; the Turk's was on the other half of the building.

Cloud had eaten the rest of the meal in silence.

_My name is Nanaki. Son of Deneh ... and Vincent ..._

Cloud looked down the table, to where the Caretakers sat at the end it. How could it be possible? The son of a ShinRa ... yet _Human_? Nanaki had left Cloud with a mind-boggling puzzle, and he was determined to solve it. Was it _possible_ for ShinRa to have Human children? If so, why had no one spoken of it before?

From where he sat, looking over the children, Nanaki watched Cloud quietly. He had told the ShinRa of his parentage on a whim, but when he saw the utterly confused expression on Cloud's face, he knew he would have to explain himself. Preparing himself for a lengthy interrogation ahead, Nanaki finished his plate and stood from the table, walking down and making sure all of the children were finished as well, before beginning to herd them towards the door.

They were given ten minutes back in their Playroom before they were expected to head down for their written lessons, which took place in the afternoon, while physical lessons were scheduled in the morning. The moment they had been let back into the indoor playground, Cloud marched over to Nanaki and took his hand, leading him into Cloud and Denzel's room and facing the older man squarely.

Whatever Nanaki had been expecting, it wasn't what came out of Cloud's mouth next.

"You're my _brother_?"

Nanaki looked down at the young blonde, honestly surprised. Of course; he hadn't seen it before, but now that he did, he was kicking himself for being so unbelievably blind.

"Yes, I am," Nanaki crouched down so that he was on level with the small ShinRa. "I don't know if you want a Human as your brother, but ... I am."

"I don't care about that," Cloud waved away the fact that Nanaki was - technically - not the same species as him. "The only thing I wanna know is how it's possible! I thought ShinRas always had ShinRa kids. Why are you different?"

Nanaki lowered his eyes as Cloud struck upon a sore spot for him.

"I ... don't know," he admitted softly. "I'm the first child to ever be born to a ShinRa, and be Human. The scientists don't know. My father doesn't know. My mother disappeared after my birth, so she doesn't even know my name, let alone that I am Human. I am just another of the dark secrets ShinRa doesn't want anyone to know about."

"I ... I don't think of you like that," Cloud reached out and took Nanaki's hand gently. "Just because you're Human, doesn't make you wrong."

"I wish my ... _our_ father could see that," Nanaki smiled sadly. "I was raised my whole life, told that I was a failure. I was a freak of nature. I shouldn't exist, I should never have been born. You, and the Caretakers, are probably the only people who have ever seen me as anyone different than that."

"When ... when you said that you understood how I was feeling ... you don't mean ..?"

"Upon discovering that I was not ShinRa, our father ... disowned me. I belong not to him, but to ShinRa as a collective. That is why they shelter me, and give me food and board in return for work. They are obliged by law to do so. I guess you could say I'm the orphan of ShinRa. They don't want me here ... but it would be illegal to throw me away," Nanaki looked pained as he recounted his past, so Cloud did the only thing he could. He stepped forward, and hugged him.

Nanaki looked down at the petite blonde in his arms with surprise. As a child, he hadn't experienced much contact with others, at least, not of the positive kind. He had been given to scientists for much of his growing years, in an effort to see _why_ he was not the norm, and why he was not ShinRa. He had only been released from the scientists' care when he was in his early teens, and old enough to work and earn his place.

So, when Cloud hugged him, so earnestly, so eager to comfort and love, Nanaki couldn't stop himself from hugging Cloud back. Cloud was the first ShinRa he had ever met that would ever freely show his emotions in such a way, and Nanaki relished in the feeling of not only having _family_ to care about, but family that cared about him.

"I ... I can't believe they _did_ that to you!" Cloud exclaimed suddenly, pulling away and facing Nanaki with brightly shining eyes, burning in anger.

"Cloud, it is in the past," Nanaki reminded him gently. "What had been done, cannot be undone-"

"I don't care, it's still wrong!"

"Cloud-"

"Who the hell does he think he is, throwing you away like that?! Everyone has a right to be with their parents, I shou-" Cloud's throat clogged suddenly, and his sudden fit of anger faded just as swiftly as it had come. "I should know..." he ended on a whisper.

Nanaki's face softened from the wary expression he had adapted, and he leaned forward to wrap an arm around Cloud's shoulder comfortingly. "Cloud, what was that? I've never seen you so angry." Already, Nanaki had realised that such an explosion of negative emotion was not in Cloud's nature.

"It's been happening ever since I got here," Cloud revealed shyly. "Ever since I left Nibelheim. You ... oh Planet, you don't think it's because of my Presence, do you? I mean ... everyone says Nibelheim has this natural repressing thing on Jenova's Presence, and I've lived there my whole life, so I'm used to it! But ... now that I'm away from Nibelehim ... you don't suppose my Presence has gotten stronger, do you? Could that be why I'm so angry all the time?"

"I don't know, Cloud. I'm no genius," Nanaki smiled down at Cloud, alarmed and amazed as how quickly Cloud had come to conclusions, when presented with so little information. "But I can ask one of the doctors to come have a look at you, if you want?"

"Yes, please ... if that's alright," Cloud smiled up at Nanaki, and impulsively wrapped his arms around the man - his _brother _- once again. "I'm glad I found you. I need someone in here to keep me sane."

Nanaki laughed into the blonde's shoulder and returned the gesture enthusiastically.

"Me too, kid. Me too ..."

* * *

Cloud sat in the back of the class, tapping his soft pencil against the desk and sighing down at the crisp, new workbook he had been given. The exercises were simple, things he had mastered long ago at Nibelheim, but the teachers seemed unable to realise this, and had ignored him when he had insisted that he already _knew_ the alphabet, his numbers, addition and subtraction.

So, the set exercises completed with ease and still half an hour to go before class ended, Cloud found himself lost in his thoughts.

And in that half hour, he discovered so much of his mind, his future, his past, that he walked from that room a changed person.

His first realisation was that, even if Elena _had_ survived, if his mother was out there ... he could never find her. He would never know for sure if she was out there, for he was a ShinRa now, he was being trained and watched every second of every day. He couldn't take so much as one step outside the complex without alarm bells ringing and a hundred people sprinting towards him. He would never know if she was alive, if she was unhurt, or otherwise. And perhaps ... it was better this way. If he never knew if she was alive, he never knew if she was dead, either. So, while he did not know if she lived or died ... he did not have the sorrow of her passing to weigh him down.

Even so, he couldn't help but think why she had tried. Why she had fought for his life in the first place, why she had taken the risk to raise him away from ShinRa, in Nibelheim where he would be safe from them. His mother had known that he would be taken away, his mother had known this day would come; so why fight at all? Why fight, if you know you are going to lose? Why risk everything, if you know it is futile?

His second realisation - his second epiphany - was the answer to this question, and that answer would change the world.

Elena had risked her life, his life, the lives of everyone at Nibelheim, in the hope that, when the day came that he was taken from her and forced into the cruel routine of a ShinRa ... she had done all that, in the hope that he might, someday, make a difference.

_There are so many bad people in this world, the world needs to be saved._

Those words that Elena had said, stood out in his mind more than anything else. _The world needs to be saved ..._

And just then, sitting in that cracked desk, watching as his younger classmates struggled and moaned through their work, Cloud realised that he was in a perfect position to do just that.

If Cloud worked hard, if he went far and gained power and influence, he could change ShinRa for the better. ShinRa had broken more hearts than he liked to know - looking over his classmates, and the ShinRa he had met in the corridors outside, he knew that almost all of them had had not only a ShinRa parent, but a Human one. A Human parent that had been told at their child's birth that they would never see them again. A Human parent whose heart had been broken. _Just like Ma's._

Even if they didn't know it, with every Human heart they broken, ShinRa released another bitter soul into the world. They introduced more anger and pain to the Planet, and at the same time, they were slowly corrupting it. Tensions rose, Humans began to be aware of what ShinRa was doing. Cloud had once opened his mother's laptop to a webpage, and seen it open on an article. The numbers of those turning out to Gatherings - when ShinRa and Human met to chose partners, and conceive children - were falling. Where before ShinRa had hundreds to chose from, they now only had a handful. People were starting to realise that ShinRa did not keep those they coupled with; the Humans were growing wary, their trust beginning to fail.

The Gaian government had been more than enough example of this. For centuries, since it's formation, Gaia had relied on ShinRa for army support; in taking the Western Continent three hundred years ago, Gaia had used ShinRa to fight it's battles.

But in the last hundred years or so, Gaia had begun forming it's _own_ army. Based in Junon, it had grown steadily over the years, until it's might was almost equal to ShinRa. Now, whenever a crisis came to light, it was not just ShinRa that rushed to save the day; now, ShinRa fought Gaia for the limelight, and the honour of saving the world.

With the growing bitterness towards ShinRa, and the growth of Gaia's own armies, Cloud knew things weren't looking good for his kind. As much as he was loathe to call himself one of them, he was a ShinRa; if Gaia turned on them, and decided they were more a nuisance than an ally, he knew he would be taken down with them.

Cloud paused his thoughts, and looked around the room, at the children that sat in rows, bent over desks and whispering among themselves. _They're only kids ... they don't deserve to die for the faults of their elders. They know no better_.

Then, Cloud knew he had to change it. He had to change ShinRa, he had to teach them how to love. He had to convince them to care for Humans _as equals_; equals to themselves, not equals to each other. ShinRa had once held to that belief, but something had changed them. He had to find out what, and see if he could undo that damage ... because, right now, he was the only one who had the sense to do so. He was the only one in ShinRa that thought and felt as a Human did. He was the only one who could save them.

But first, he had to complete his training, gain the trust of the Council, befriend his classmates ... but above all else, he had to learn how to control the fierce, dark emotions he had been plagued with since his arrival at the ShinRa Training Adacamy.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter Three: Death of Me. _Cloud earns his place as a ShinRa. _


	11. Part Three, Chapter Three

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Right! New chapter! Okay! Now, things get a little depressing from here on out. Just a _little_ warning.

This update is a little later, once again, due to a dramatic increase of shopping trips and spontaneous car rides across the countryside to retrieve playhouses and God knows what ... I can say without hesitation that I am _over_ Christmas ... Also, I ran into a Writer's Block ... well, more like Writer's _Wall_, it took almost a day to write one of the paragraphs in this thing ... but on Monday (the day I usually update on...) I got back into the grove, thank _god_.

I'm afraid I've been negligent in replying to reviews ... sorry! Thank you for all the lovely reviews, each and every one makes me feel _so_ good about myself! I'm sorry I didn't get around to replying to them this time, I will make a conscious effort to for this chapter, though! Thank you all _so_ much ...

The last few hundred words were written directly after watching 'The Butterfly Effect' with my sister, so there's either a lot of emotion, or none at all. I can't really tell. I'm still in shock at the moment. Saddest. Movie. Ever. (Go see it.)

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Death of Me' by Red, 'Breathe No More' by Evanescence, 'Injection' by Rise Against, 'New Divide' by Linkin Park.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Three: Death of Me**

The next month saw a dramatic improvement in Cloud's academic, and physical, classes. At first, the teachers continued to give him the childish lessons, simple equations, the easiest tasks. And, while in the physical class this suited Cloud, as he did not yet know the movements as the other students did, in the written classes during the afternoon, he could feel the frustration mounting. Elena had been sure to teach him - and the others of Nibelheim - well, and he was growing bored in classes. Every completed assignment (always one-hundred percent correct) was handed to the teachers, who would raise a disbelieving eyebrow and eye him as if to ask who he had copied off.

But, when they had a small pop quiz at the end of his second week, with the teachers hovering over him to make sure he didn't cheat, they were amazed that he, once again, got every question correct. The teacher of that day, Miss Janet, who was incidentally a Human, had looked down at the rows of red-inked ticks, and smiled. Maybe there _was_ potential in ShinRa after all.

Cloud continued to distance himself from the other ShinRa Trainees - once, or perhaps twice a day, fierce emotions would still rise in him, and he would be forced to snap a pencil, or strike with the blunt practise sword a little harder, to keep the dangerous urges under control. The result was the image of a young, angry boy who was blatantly anti-social, and dangerously unstable, yet with a mind as sharp and brilliant as his father's and half-brothers'.

Sephiroth, of course, had made it a point to have as little contact with Cloud as possible, perhaps in passing he would give a short nod or a fleeting glance, as would be expected for family members, but he made no move to approach Cloud, to give him comfort or guidance, or to even acknowledge him as his brother. In that sense, Nanaki was everything Sephiroth wasn't; as days and weeks passed, Nanaki made it a point to be seen helping Cloud, showing him public displays of affection such as hugs or hair-rubs, chatting with him late into the night.

The other Trainees watched the blossoming friendship with thinly veiled disgust - a _ShinRa_, befriending a _Human_. And not just any Human, either, but the Deceitful One, the one who had been born to a ShinRa.

The Trainees weren't the only ones to notice Cloud and Nanaki's behaviour.

On Cloud's sixth week at ShinRa, the ShinRa Council called a meeting. The room that was build especially for such meetings was sleek, elegant and refined, with a circular table, a projection screen and numerous clocks facing them from each wall, displaying the times of various cities around the world.

"This is unacceptable," Vincent started the called meeting, tapping the wooden table with one hand absently. He looked up, glancing around at the other members, who were patiently waiting for him to elaborate. "ShinRa have distanced themselves from Humans for a reason, for even one of us to bridge that gap could lead to disaster."

"Need I remind you, Vincent, that I myself have taken a Human as a wife?" Abei shot a look at Vincent as he leant back in his chair, one hand resting against his chin in thought.

"Yes, but you are powerful, and trained to protect her. She herself has been given lessons in self-defence, and she rarely leaves the Tower, she is in no danger. Nanaki leaves the Tower at regular intervals, he has _not_ been trained in self-defence, and Cloud can no better protect him than a rock could," Sephiroth pointed out bluntly.

"My son makes a good point," Kadaj glanced at Sephiroth with approval. "Should Nanaki die, Cloud will be distraught. His training will slip, and we will pay the price for it later, perhaps in the thick of battle. It would not do to sacrifice one of our own, simply because Cloud befriended a Human who was too weak to save himself."

"But this is only hypothetical," Tseng frowned. "Truly, what are the odds of Nanaki dying? Cloud is strong, he would surely work past such sorrow, but really, Humans do not fall dead on the streets at the first sign of danger. They are more resilient than that."

"Tseng, you are still young and naive to the ways - and, indeed, the history - of ShinRa. In the dawning of ShinRa, one of the Council Members himself fell in love with a human. When she was killed in a freak accident, he went wild. Nothing could tame him - hundreds of ShinRa fell at his hand before he collapsed from exhaustion. So few of us were left, we were nearly exterminated, our race nearly extinct. We have learnt our lesson, and will not make such a grave mistake again."

Tseng lowered his eyes as Verdot lectured him, and said nothing.

"What should be done of your sons, Vincent?" Abei asked, turning his head to the dark-haired Turk and patiently waiting until Vincent's head snapped around to level a soft glare at him.

"Nanaki is not my son," Vincent reminded them. "And Cloud is not worthy of such a honour."

"None the less, what should be done of them? We cannot allow this affection to fester. Something must be done of it."

"If the affection cannot remain, then remove the object of that affection," Lucrecia, from her seat beside Vincent, suggested lightly.

"What do you suggest, Lucrecia?" Abei leaned forward in his seat.

Lucrecia took Vincent's hand, turned to face Abei, and raised her lips the sweetest smile he had ever known to behold, her untouched beauty and pale skin giving her the look of the Angel herself.

* * *

Cloud lay on his bed, Nanaki beside him, laughing breathlessly.

"Sto - stop!" he gasped out, squirming as Nanaki continued to tickle him relentlessly. "Naki, please! _Stop!_"

"Na uh, not until you say sorry!" Nanaki smirked triumphantly, and tickled Cloud even harder, until Cloud was shrieking with laughter and pleading for mercy.

"I'm sorry!" Cloud finally cried, tears pouring from his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. "Sorry! I'm sorry! Please, Naki!"

Nanaki kept the torture for a moment longer, before sighing and letting Cloud fall against the bed, boneless and panting as if he had just run the legendary circuit around the Tower.

"You - idiot," Cloud panted, glaring weakly up at Nanaki, who was sitting cross-legged beside him and grinning wolfishly.

"Are you sure you want to go there?" Nanaki raised a hand menacingly, and Cloud squealed, squirming away and huffing when Nanaki laughed.

"Shut - up," Cloud lay against his pillow, throwing an arm across his eyes and sighing as he relaxed against the soft sponge. Nanaki's amusement faded at he took in the exhausted form of the young Trainee, and saw the bruises that scattered the boy's arms and legs.

"Cloud..." he frowned reaching out to touch one of the blossoming bruises angrily. "Where are these from?"

Cloud didn't answer, and Nanaki reached over, taking Cloud's arm away from his face and holding it, forcing the younger boy to meet his eyes.

"Tell me."

Cloud sighed in defeat and tugged his hand free of Nanaki's hold.

"In training, Miss Scarlet decided I was good enough to spar against one of the other Trainees," Cloud said softly. "But he was _very_ good."

Nanaki ran his hand through Cloud's soft, spiky hair comfortingly, and Cloud leant into the gesture thankfully. Nanaki smiled at the gesture, and repeated it, his fingers digging in to lightly massage the boy's scalp. The Cloud before him and the Cloud he saw with the other children, were really as different as chalk and cheese. While with his half-brother, Cloud was clearly at ease, laughing and running about as a child is supposed to. While with the Trainees, Cloud was withdrawn, shrinking away from touch and refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Later, Nanaki confirmed that doing so only increased Cloud's inexplicable emotions, the close contact with another's Presence probably aggravating his own. Nanaki's presence - or, indeed, the presence of any Human - was the only thing that could calm him.

Whatever the cause - the doctors and scientists had been unable to discover the source - the result was Cloud's inability to spend any length of time near the other children, and a fierce desire to be with Nanaki as much as possible.

"Here, Cloud," Nanaki spoke after a while, still running his hand through Cloud's hair. "One of the Council members came to speak to me today."

"Really?" Cloud sat up, looking over at Nanaki in interest. "Did they say anything?"

"Yes, they're going to go through with it," Nanaki smiled at Cloud's disbelieving face, then leant back when Cloud whooped in joy and leapt up.

"_Yes!_" Cloud crowed. "I made it!"

Nanaki laughed and watched his younger brother dance around the room for a time, before reaching out and snagging the blonde's shoulder.

"You know what this means, right?"

Cloud's beaming face fell, and he nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. I do."

After the pop-quiz, in which Cloud had undeniably received a one-hundred percent mark, the teacher had approached the Council with a proposition, taking with her every scrap of work Cloud had handed in. After confirming that each piece of homework, every page of lines and answers, was his, the Council members were more than ready to listen to her proposition.

Cloud was too bright for the likes of First Year Trainees. And, now that it had been decided, it would soon be put into action. Cloud was to be moved from the youngest of the Trainees, to the classes and quarters of the Second Year Trainees. He would continue to receive one-on-one physical classes with Scarlet until he reached the level required of someone his age, but his written classes would be taken with the next oldest students.

Another change that would come was Cloud moving from the First Years' rooms, and into the Second Years'. Away from Nanaki. Cloud lowered his face, and his shoulders began to shake as the realisation struck him fully for the first time.

"Hey," Nanaki said softly, kneeling forward and raising Cloud's chin when he saw the tears that had suddenly pooled in the boy's eyes. "You can still come see me during break, and after evening classes. And I'll be there at meals, and during the weekends. It's not the end of the world, Clou'."

"Okay," Cloud smiled weakly. "When am I moving?"

"Tonight."

Cloud's heart skipped a beat.

"T-Tonight? But, I thought-"

"The Council members didn't want to delay," Nanaki told Cloud softly, before turning to the small two drawer cupboard beside Cloud's bed and opening the top drawer, taking out the empty backpack and laying it on Cloud's bed. Cloud looked at the tattered bag, realising that the Caretaker was doing, and stepped forward to help. Over his small stay in the room, his things - small treasures, small mementoes of home - had become scattered around, on the bedside table, beneath his pillow, hiding in the corner of his wardrobe.

It only took a few minutes to gather everything, between the two of them. When it was finished, Nanaki sank onto the bed and watched the small blonde as he took the bag gingerly in both hands.

"Cloud - c'mere," Nanaki said holding out his hand. Cloud stepped forward, and eagerly fell into his brother's tight embrace. Nanaki smiled, and closed his eyes, ever amazed at Cloud's ability to show compassion to those he loved, and just as amazed at how _easily_ the boy loved - at least, loved those who gave him a chance to. "Look, you are my brother. I care for you. I will look after you, for as long as I can, alright?"

"Okay, Naki," Cloud sniffed, before drawing back and smiling brightly at Nanaki, still holding onto the half-filled bag. "It's not really good bye, is it?"

"No, it isn't," Nanaki grinned in agreement as he heaved himself off the bed and leaned over, taking Cloud's hand smoothly and walking with him to the door.

They walked through the Playroom, aware that the eyes of all were on them. Nanaki felt Cloud's hand tighten on his, and looked reassuringly down at him. They walked through the Tower, uncaring of the strange, sometimes almost hateful looks they received.

When they arrived at Cloud's new rooms, they found the Playroom to be made of quieter colours, though still with the soft, spongy shapes and rounded corners that gave it a childish look. The children weren't there, probably away on lessons or at dinner, and the room was still and quiet. Cloud's new room was not shared with anyone - with him joining them, the Second Year Trainees had an uneven number of ShinRa - and Cloud sighed in relief that he would not have to be on guard for another roommate. The enthusiastic Denzel was enough to put him off roommates forever.

Nanaki helped Cloud unpack in silence, propping up the picture of Cloud, Johnny and Tifa against the bedside lamp reverently.

"What happened to them?" Nanaki asked suddenly. Cloud turned from where he was examining his new clothes - a darker shade of silver, almost grey. His eyes alighted on the photo Nanaki was facing, and his eyes lowered, turning back to face the wardrobe.

"...Nibelheim was destroyed," Cloud whispered in answer. "They didn't get out in time."

Nanaki's gasp was almost inaudible.

"Then they are..?"

"I don't know," Cloud whispered through numb lips. "I hope not, but..."

Nanaki looked down at the photo, the three children's smiling faces. It pained him, to realise that two of them were gone. They were probably dead; from what he had read on the internet, Mt Nibel had erupted in a freak accident. The smoke and ash had been seen and scattered for miles and miles around; Rocket Town, Corel, even Cosmo Canyon, had seen the pillar of dark clouds that blotted out the sun for a full three days.

"I'm sure they're alright, Clou'," Nanaki comforted the boy. Cloud nodded, knowing the man's words were empty, but acknowledging the intention anyway. "You'll find them again, one day."

"Thank you," Cloud said, neither agreeing to, nor dismissing the idea. Cloud turned and smiled up at Nanaki. "It means a lot to me ... that you're here. And looking after me. When Ma was k .... taken away, I thought I would be alone. But then I found you , and you look after me just like she did. I thought that when I came here, I wouldn't have anyone like that ... but I do! So ... I just ... thank you."

"You're welcome, Clou'," Nanaki knelt and met his brother's eyes squarely. "I'll always be there for you, no matter where you go. You know that, right?"

"Course, Naki," Cloud laughed through tears that had gathered and fallen. "I'll always be there, too."

Nanaki hugged Cloud tightly, marvelling that he had found something like this, a family he had never known, and he wondered what he had done to deserve such a thing.

And wondered just how long it would last.

* * *

Nanaki left when Cloud slipped into bed, ready for sleep after talking and playing in the hours between dinner and curfew. He walked the corridors back to the Caretaker's quarters alone, thinking.

Why had the Council insisted on Cloud's moving so quickly? If they were to follow their own trend, they should have debated the issue for weeks before coming to a grudging decision. Instead, the appeal had been decided in only a few scant days. Something wasn't right - something else was at hand here. They hadn't moved Cloud for his benefit ... somehow, Nanaki realised that they had moved Cloud for _their_ benefit.

Perhaps it was to remove Cloud from him, from Nanaki? But no, that couldn't be it; Nanaki could visit Cloud any time he wished, and vice versa. It must be something else...

Troubled, thoughts running through his head unchecked, Nanaki slipped into the thin bed, set in a room he shared with three other Humans. Even as he fell into realms of sleep, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen. Something bad.

* * *

The next morning, Cloud split away from his new classmates - who were watching him carefully, muttering and giggling among themselves, yet who made no move to approach him - to join the First Year Trainees in their physical class, and Scarlet, who handed him his battered practise sword soundlessly and began the lesson, as she always did.

When he left, Cloud automatically looked around for Nanaki, who was always there when he left, ready to walk with him back to his rooms. His heart fell a little when he realised that Nanaki was not there, but he soon perked up, after remembering that he would see the man at lunch.

Sure enough, Cloud spotted Nanaki the moment he walked with the other Second Years through to the mess hall, and he ran over to engulf the dark-haired Caretaker in a tight hug.

"Hey, Cloud, what's the occasion?" Nanaki laughed, ignoring the disapproving looks the two received from the rest of the room.

"Nothing. Just missed you," Cloud beamed, moving automatically to sit next to his brother, then remembering suddenly that he had to sit with his new classmates. He gave Nanaki a sheepish smile, then ran over to the adjacent table, his mood visibly dropping at it did, until he sat wedged between two large boys, his face downcast, picking at his food.

Nanaki pretended not to notice, though his eyes flashed in alarm, and never left the back of the blonde's head through the entire meal.

When Cloud left, he passed Nanaki, and gave the worried man a small, flickering smile, before he was swept away with the crowd, and Nanaki could not see even the tips of his spiky hair.

For reasons he would never know, he sighed.

* * *

Cloud sat in the middle of the class, his seat favouring neither the front nor back, quietly working on his exercises. They were still ridiculously easy, though at least a little more complex than the one he had been asked to perform in his last class. The children themselves were no different - a little louder, a little taller, a little more literate, but really there was no change between them, and the ones he had been placed with before. He had heard them, when he sat alone over break before class, talking amongst themselves of the boy whose mind was being controlled by an army of zombie Humans. Cloud couldn't help but roll his eyes, upon hearing that theory. Denzel's theory had been amusing at first, but it was fast evolving out of control.

Cloud was fast learning to control the anger that the other ShinRa seemed to bring out in him - after spending all morning with them, and no Nanaki to calm him, he learnt to calm himself, quenching his emotions until they were but a flutter in his stomach, rather than a fire in his heart. His eyes, over the course of the lesson - having once again finished the tasks ahead of time, and now with another half hour with nothing to do but think - began to dull and quiet, as he struggled to manage the rogue emotions that ran rampant inside him, in the presence of so many ShinRas.

Then, suddenly, about twenty minutes before the end of the class, the teacher stood. This teacher was male, tall, a ShinRa with lightly tanned skin and speckled black-and-grey hair.

"Now, class, pens down," he ordered, and the Trainees immediately set their flashy silver pens in the indent at the top of the wooden desks, sitting tall and watching the instructor with undivided attention. Cloud, remembering his own school at home, where they had sat on bales of hay or upturned buckets, fidgeting and whispering when Elena spoke, felt unnerved at the display. "You will all see that you have a new class member this fine morning."

The Trainees nodded and murmured, those at the front of the room turning in their seats little so they could sneak glances at the unmoving blonde.

"His name is Cloud, and he is a special case," the instructor grinned - almost smirked - down at them. Cloud felt uneasiness spark within him, and discreetly bit in the inside of his lip sharply. "He was raised by Humans. Now, as you all know, it is dangerous for ShinRa to be raised by Humans. Can you tell me why? Yes, Janise?"

"Because as ShinRa we naturally del ... develop feelings for the people who raise us. If we have feelings for Humans, they will desra ... dester .... destroy us," the tiny girl spoke concisely, as if reciting a rhyme or lullaby. "Humans are weak, and can't be trusted, because they break easy."

"Very good, Janise. Now, Cloud doesn't know this. He was raised among Humans, so he has ... _feelings_ for them."

The children gasped as one, and shrank away from Cloud in a mockery of horror. Cloud's eyes were growing brighter, and brighter, and brighter.

"I could even go so far as to say that perhaps he _loved_ one of-"

"Of _course_ I did!" Cloud roared suddenly, standing in his chair, the movement throwing the desk away, where it toppled to the ground. Cloud's eyes were flaring now, as bright as any light or torch, and his hands were shaking as every second of anger and rage he had suppressed came to light. Tears of anger stung his eyes, and the instructor actually took an uncertain step back when the weight of that gaze fell on him. "And who are _you_ to say it was wrong?"

"ShinRa do _not_ love Humans, boy, it is against our being, against our code, our way of life-"

"Love sets us free! It gives us life, it makes us strong! Love is the very foundations we are built on, you and every other person in this room is _cruel_ for saying that such a thing is wrong! To even _think_ it could ever be wrong is vile, inhumane! You are _monsters_-!"

"You will silence yourself this instant! You know not of what you speak, the Humans have poisoned your mind! Humans, weak and pathetic, have turned you against your own race-!"

"No, it was not my _mother_ who turned me against ShinRa, it was ShinRa themselves. Look at you! _You_ are the ones that are truly pathetic! You sit here, and you tell these kids that they are better than the rest of the world, just because their eyes glow!? You tell them that Humans are not worthy of their love, simply because they are not as strong as you!? Humans are not worthy of their love, I see that now; _nothing_ is worthy of their love, because they _have_ no love to _give_. They are nothing but _shells_, empty clones that obey their masters' will because they know no better-"

"Silence, this instant! You go too far, child, to _dare_ imply that they have no soul-"

"Because they do not! It is our love and our feelings for others that define who we are, it is how we act for others, how we treasure and behold them that makes us strong! Humans, in that regard, are stronger than ShinRa will _ever_ be! Because ShinRa do not love. Can you see the wrong in that?"

"ShinRa are above "loving" Humans. We care for them, we protect them-"

"From _what_? Themselves?"

"Yes!"

"You're insane! This place in insane! Can't you see!? Humans once wanted ShinRa, they once looked up to them and respected them! But now, you are nothing to them! Do you even want to know why?"

"Who are you to say such things? What gives you the right to say Humans do not respect ShinRa?"

"I've lived with them, I've seen the regard Humans hold ShinRa in. To them ShinRa are nothing but selfish, arrogant fools that are not worthy of their time-"

"Humans look up to ShinRa! They adore us! They _worship_ us-"

"No, they do not! Humans _hate_ ShinRa!"

The room was suddenly plunged into stunned silence. The children had scampered to the edge of the room, desks and chairs turned over in their haste to distance themselves from the enraged blonde. The instructor and Cloud stood, meters apart, panting and heaving and glaring daggers at each other, their anger at each other tangible in the atmosphere of the room. The door to the classroom was open, revealing a handful of ShinRa - Turk and SOLDIER alike - watching in shock.

Then, one of them pushed their way to the front of the others, his long silver hair swaying with his movements.

"Cloud," he spoke quietly, his low voice thrumming with power and emotion. "Come here."

Cloud turned, visibly deflating as the anger was flushed from his body, leaving his numb, emotionally drained. His eyes blinked slowly, and he turned his face up only at the insistence of the man before him.

Sephiroth looked down at his brother, his eyes flickering a little in surprise when he saw a mask - one he was so familiar with - fall over the boy's face.

"Come with me," Sephiroth ordered him, turning and carving a path through the onlookers, one hand tightening around Cloud's and dragging him along. Cloud followed, finding to his surprise that the strangers shrank away from him.

"S-Sephiroth? Where are you taking me?" Cloud asked, his voice whisper-quiet.

"Your room."

"I ... I wanna see Naki," Cloud suddenly broke away from Sephiroth's hold, a little spark of life returned to him. "Where are the First Year rooms?"

"'Naki'? As in Nanaki?" Sephiroth confirmed, frowning but not attempting to take Cloud's arm again.

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, biting his lip gently. "I wanna see him."

"He's a Human," Sephiroth protested, leaning over and taking Cloud's hand again - despite his protests - then started through the building again. As they stood in one of the many elevators, Cloud pulled away from Sephiroth and sulked.

"So? Just cause he's a Human, doesn't mean-"

"It is unhealthy for one of your stature to have this kind of affection for-"

"Did you hear _nothing_ of what I was just sayi - no, _shouting_?" Cloud glaring up at Sephiroth, their eyes lighting up in union, though Cloud's were noticeably brighter.

"It changes nothing," Sephiroth replied tonelessly. "ShinRa are not encouraged to have relationships of any sort with-"

"Not encouraged? Or not permitted? Cause it seems like an awful lot of fuss is being kicked up over something 'not encouraged'," Cloud crossed his arms defensively, forcing Sephiroth to reach out and take his shoulder instead when the door opened with a soft chime.

"None the less, you can be assured that your fixation with Nanaki will not continue."

"What do you mean?" Cloud frowned up at him, slowing a little, and Sephiroth pulled on Cloud's shoulder, forcing him down the empty corridor. "I wanna see him! Where is he?"

"He's somewhere safe," Sephiroth assured the blonde as they entered the - once again empty - Playroom.

"I wanna see him."

"You can't see him, Cloud."

"Where is he?"

"He's gone. Away from the Tower."

"No he isn't. He said he would always be there for me! He wouldn't break a promise!"

Sephiroth sighed and pulled Cloud into the younger boy's room. He pushed the boy towards his bed, eyed the scattered possessions distastefully, then returned his empty eyes to Cloud's face.

"He is gone, Cloud. The Turks came for him after lunch, they took him some place far away. You don't need to worry that he is corrupting your mind; you will never see him again."

Cloud sank onto the bed, his eyes wide and bright with horror.

"_No..._" he whispered.

"Now that you are free from his influence, you will finally become the ShinRa you were supposed to be."

"No, no, _no_..." Cloud moaned, his eyes closing tightly, his eyelashes clinging together as droplets of water seeped onto them. "Naki..."

"You are to be confined to your room for the remainder of the day, as punishment for talking back to a teacher," Sephiroth's voice came as if from a distance, echoed, faded. "I will lock this door."

Cloud heard the door shut, heard the lock click shut, and trembled.

"No, Naki, no," he continued to groan, clenching the colourful sheets beneath him in his fists, wrinkling the fabric. Cloud sprang up from the bed and tore across the room, slamming into the door. When it didn't move, he slammed his fists against it, screaming murder. He screamed until his throat was hoarse, and then he collapsed into sobs, hitting the reinforced, wooden door feebly, his sore fists thudding against it weakly. Now that his voice had quietened, he could hear footsteps, shrill cries and soft voices on the other side of the wall, in the Playroom. Cloud gritted his teeth and drew away from the door, his eyes fastening on the wood fiercely. He swung his foot, thudding into the wood and actually hearing a crunch, feeling something give, but then pain shot up his leg, and Cloud collapsed back, crawling to his bed and clutching his wounded foot to him.

"Naki..." he whispered, his voice rough and hoarse from his screams, low from sorrow. "Naki, you _promised_."

* * *

A hundred miles away, a man with dark hair and golden brown eyes woke, his eyes fluttering open. He looked around him, nothing was familiar, where was he?

Faces bent over him, but he recognised none of them. Concerned voices, but someone was missing. Who was it?

He sat, and saw that a lady with a kind face and greying hair knelt beside him.

"Dear, what is your name?"

The man frowned, his mouth opened. A name floated in his mind.

"Cl..." he frowned. "Nak..."

"Nak?"

"...lou..."

"Lou? Loui? Leo? Is that it?"

The man frowned. Something wasn't right. Bright blue eyes flashed before him, followed by bright yellow hair, but then the memory was gone, leaving nothing in its wake.

"Yes," he groaned. "I ... I think so. I don't remember." The man - newly dubbed "Leo" shuddered, his fists contorting around grass and dry earth. "I can't remember anything."

And it was with the knowledge that he was not whole - that something was missing, that something, someone, some part of him had left - that Leo pressed his fists to his eyes, and for the first time in his life (though he wouldn't know it), cried.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter Four: My Last Breath. _Dreams of what might have been fill Cloud's mind. _


	12. Part Three, Chapter Four

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Oh jeez, I read over the last chapter after updating it, I made so many mistakes! Well, that's what you get for uploading it at four in the morning ... the line breaks have been fixed, and Nanaki's name has been straightened out. He was originally going to be called "Naki," but I changed it to "Leo" after a little thought. Unfortunately, I forgot to change all the "Naki"s to "Leo"s. Silly me.

In case you have not yet noticed, I am a procrastinator of the highest degree. That's why I write better when school is in session (oh, the irony.) However, I have finally decided to pull my head out and actually _write_ something. With three and a half hours sleep under my belt. Don't blame me if the writing is horrible, blame my father, he's the one that woke me up. May he rest in peace.

Again, sorry this is a bit later than expected ... that seems to be a habit, these days, doesn't it? I'm staying at my Grandparents for a few days longer, this was the only chance I had to access internet.

Oh! And Happy Christmas everyone! (So says the girl three Family Reunion's later ... -groan of dismay-).

**Review Reply: **_How did he lose his memories?_ Find out ... when I figure it out myself. (Sheepish laugh.) How about a magic pill? Hypnotism? I hate plot holes ... though they do leave room for expansion ... perhaps a conspiracy? Ideas are welcome, I have a few bouncing around, but I want to see what you guys think first. At least the angst is good, right?

**Warning:** A bit of heavy swearing towards the end. Nothing too damning, just thought you might want to be forewarned.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'My Last Breath' by Evanescence, 'Incomplete' by Backstreet Boys (bear with me, it's actually a good song), 'Orchard of Mines' by Globus, 'Never Alone' by Barlow Girl.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Four: My Last Breath**

Cloud sat in class. All the students around him were talking, but to his surprise, he couldn't hear them, not a single word, not even a murmur. The teacher was absent, though the clock claimed it was half-way through the lesson already. Cloud looked out the window, and was puzzled to find it was dark out, despite the early hour. He could see stars twinkling, but even as he watched, he saw them - one by one - beginning to fade, until the night sky was empty, and desolate.

The door to the class slammed open, as if caught by a brisk wind, and Cloud jumped, for it was the first sound he had heard in so long. He turned, and leapt from his desk, falling into one of the stances Scarlet had been teaching ... him ...

_Ma?_

Cloud stared unblinkingly at the petite blonde woman, at her smile, her gleaming eyes, her oval face. He took a step towards her, and her smile widened.

"Ma?" he breathed. "Is that really you?"

Elena didn't speak a word; only smiled, and raised a hand, beckoning. Cloud obliged, stepping closer to the silent woman, until she was only a hands breath away. Cloud raised one hand jerkily, hesitantly, and reached out to touch her ... but even as he reached, she seemed to stretch away from him, space contorting and shifting so that, even though she was only a heartbeat from him, his fingers never even brushed her, not a whisper, fleeting or otherwise.

Cloud raised his eyes to meet his mother's, and called to her.

"Ma? What's happening? Why can't I touch you?"

Elena's mouth opened, her lips moved, but Cloud heard nothing; nothing at all.

"Ma? Ma!" Cloud's hand lurched forward, straining to touch her, but when his fingers finally breached the impossible barrier, and his fingertips caught her pale hand, she vanished, curling away in tendrils of dark smoke ... no ... _ash_.

The ash swamped him, surrounding him, choking him. Cloud coughed harshly to clear his throat, and covered his mouth with his arm, but that did nothing, only made the stench of fire and burning worse. Cloud fell to his hands and knees, hacking and spluttering, looking around for someone, something, to help him. He saw his classmates, standing in a broad circle around him, their unfamiliar faces cold and shut.

"P-Please," Cloud hacked. "Help me!"

The children swayed a little, but made no move towards him. Cloud's throat was raw and tender, it ached to speak, it ached to _breathe_. Cloud sobbed in frustration and pushed himself to his knees, then his feet, hunched over as he tried - and failed - to catch his breath.

"Ma? Where are you?" Cloud rasped, whirling in the darkness as the classroom faded away, his classmates with it, and he was floating in an empty space, dark and alone. "Ma?"

"_Why did you leave me?" _The sweet voice echoed around, coming from everywhere, yet nowhere at the same time. Cloud leapt at the sound of the voice, turning eagerly, his sore throat forgotten as he tried to find her.

"Ma! Please, where a-"

"_You abandoned me, Cloud. Why did you go?"_

Cloud's heart stung at the accusation, and tears pooled in his eyes.

"I didn't want to, Ma. You told me to. You made me-"

"_Liar! I would never tell you to leave me, never! Who are you? What have you done with my son?"_

"Ma, it's me, Cloud," Cloud whispered, still turning, still trying to find her. He reached out, maybe if he couldn't see her, he could touch her, but his hands met only empty air. "Please..."

"_No! You are not my son! My son would never abandon me!" _Elena's familiar voice had turned to poison and hate, and Cloud cringed into himself, shuddering and crying.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry," Cloud cried, "Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry - _ow!_"

Cloud gasped suddenly as a sharp, lingering pain erupted in his left foot. Eyes watering from pain, his eyes snapped down, and suddenly the darkness twisted and morphed, light shattered behind his eyes, and then he was lying on his bed, curled into a tight ball with his foot held tight in both hands. His breath came is sharp, painful pants, and the pillow beneath his head was soaked through with tears.

"Naki," Cloud murmured, automatically searching for the comfort the dark-haired man provided. He frowned a little upon remembering the Caretaker, but his mind was still lost in the throes of the nightmare, and was his memory was slow. Cloud staggered out of bed, ignoring the pain in his foot, and lurched to the door. There was a substantial dent in the painted wood, as well as smudges of dirt and hand prints, but Cloud ignored it, and swung the door open. That alone surprised him, though he couldn't remember why. All he could think of was Nanaki.

Cloud had had these nightmares before, though they had grown less frequent over time. Every time had woken in a sweat, his breath short, his eyes wide and panicked, Nanaki had always been there for him, holding him, calming him and assuring him that it would be alright.

Cloud was half way to the Caretaker's rooms when memory struck him.

His knees gave out, as the same hopelessness, the same despair, of last night returned. He knelt in a foreign corridor, dressed in flimsy pants and nothing else, crying. Sobbing. Breaking.

A hand touched his shoulder.

Without a second thought, Cloud whirled and threw himself into those arms, his heart in pieces. His mother's loss, he had borne. His friends' deaths, Nanaki had helped him through. But Nanaki had become his heart, his life. Nanaki had saved him from despair, and Cloud have given all that was left of him to the Caretaker, knowing that Nanaki would help him piece together what was left of his life.

But then Nanaki was gone, too. Taking with him all that was left of Cloud.

"What-" the stranger gasped, and Cloud felt a chill come over him. He knew that voice.

Just as suddenly as he had thrown himself at the man, Cloud fell back, scrambling away and gasping quick breaths, his face pale and gaunt.

"S-Sephiroth?" Cloud confirmed, still dragging himself away from the silver haired SOLDIER.

"Cloud, why are you out here?" Sephiroth asked, mindless of Cloud's tears.

"I ... Nanaki ..." Cloud brushed away tears, only for them to be replaced in moments.

"Nanaki is gone, Cloud. It is pointless to mourn for him," Sephiroth informed him coldly, standing from where he had been crouching and hesitating, before offering a hand to the blonde Trainee. Cloud looked at the leather gloved hand dubiously, before reaching up and taking it, allowing Sephiroth to pull him to his feet. Sephiroth released Cloud's hand the moment he had his balance, but Cloud was grateful for the gesture.

For all that Sephiroth _was_ a cold, heartless bastard.

"You should return to your rooms," Sephiroth informed the boy. "It is against the rules to be outside your room so late."

"What time is it?"

"Past midnight. Get moving," Sephiroth moved past him, and Cloud turned to watch him go. Sephiroth was at the end of the corridor, about to turn the corner, when Cloud spoke.

"Why are _you_ up so late?"

Sephiroth paused, one hand resting on the sharp edge the two walls made. Cloud's eyes widened as he realised that he may have overstepped the unspoken boundaries.

"Oh, I - I'm sorry, I just-"

"You remind me of her," Sephiroth interrupted.

"What?"

"Your mother. _My_ mother."

"O - oh ..." Cloud didn't know what to say. He hadn't known that Sephiroth had accepted Elena as his mother. Uncertain, Cloud stepped closer to Sephiroth, until he could speak without having to raise his voice too loud. "What do you mean?"

"You have that same look in her eyes. When she realised she was going to die," Sephiroth murmured.

Cloud froze. Then closed his eyes, slowly, calmly, and took deep breaths. _She wasn't dead. She's still out there, somewhere. Don't worry; she isn't dead. She can't be_.

"What did you do?"

"Pardon?"

"What did you do? When you realised you had k-killed your own mother?" _He doesn't know she's still alive. He doesn't believe it. I do. She's still alive. She has to be. She's the only thing keeping me sane; she has to be._

Sephiroth's hand slid from where it was resting lightly on the wall. Cloud was silent, too, waiting for the man's answer.

"Nothing," Sephiroth finally, suddenly, stated. "I did nothing."

"Why? She is - _was_ your mother."

"I didn't know her. This is what ShinRa trains us for; to feel no pain when Humans die. It is the way of ShinRa not to feel remorse when a Human passes on."

"Even at your own hands?"

"...yes," Sephiroth's voice, along with Cloud's, was growing quieter, softer, more urgent. More emotional than Cloud had ever heard the other's voice before.

"So you felt no pain, no nothing, when you realised she was d- gone?"

"No."

Cloud frowned, unsure of Sephiroth's meaning behind the word. It could be taken two ways: the first, that Sephiroth indeed felt no pain over the death of his own mother, who had loved him long enough that seeing him after so long brought tears to her eyes. Or, the second: that Sephiroth _did_ feel pain. That he was scared. That he had, effectively, betrayed the teachings of his people, his race, his life.

With what had happened only that afternoon, Cloud couldn't believe it was the second one.

"What is wrong with me?" Sephiroth whispered.

Cloud's head raised slowly.

"What?"

"I am a ShinRa. Humans mean nothing to me. When I killed the Wutian woman, your friend's mother-" Cloud's stomach lurched. _Brittany_. "-I felt no remorse for what I had done. Why should now be any different?"

Cloud's eyes widened at the possibility. That Sephiroth _did_ feel pain. That he _did_ feel regret for what he had done. That he _did_ regret it.

"Feeling sad, and lost, because someone dies isn't weakness," Cloud informed Sephiroth quietly. "It is that pain which gives us the strength to carry on, and live while they did not-"

"No. I am a ShinRa. I feel no pain," Sephiroth interrupted, stubbornly, determinedly. Cloud sighed and lowered his eyes again.

"When you fight, it's important you have something to fight _for_," Cloud said offhandedly. "What the Council is doing, they're cutting you off from the Humans. They're forbidding you to feel. They aren't giving you anything to fight for. They're weakening you." Cloud took a step toward the man who had destroyed his home town, simply by being in Nibelheim. "But if you have something - or someone - to fight for, you can be better than them, stronger."

"I'll have you know I am _on_ that Council," Sephiroth informed Cloud coldly, turning to face the Trainee with hard, distant eyes, and Cloud knew he had lost him. "And we are doing no such thing."

"I'm sorry," Cloud backed down. Once, he would have fought, and insisted, until Sephiroth agreed. Now, he felt washed out and weak; he was in no state to fight or insist anything. "I meant no disrespect-"

"What you speak of is disloyalty to your people, your race. It is traitorous, and I will not allow it," Sephiroth informed Cloud coldly. "You will be silent, and keep your words of _love_ and _weakness_ to yourself. I and the Council will not have you polluting the minds of ShinRa, do you understand me?"

Cloud was still out of sorts at the abrupt change of subject, and could only nod shortly, cowed against his wish at the sudden height of the man who had been hunched only moments before, at the power that radiated where before, uncertainty and curiosity had clouded the air.

"Yes, sir," Cloud whispered. "I understand. Completely." Unable to resist, Cloud shot the man a disappointed look, followed by one of sorrow. "The path you are on leads to ruins. I was foolish to try and change it. I am sorry." Cloud inclined his head a little, then turned to go. He took one step, but the next was laced with pain. Cloud yelped, and couldn't stop his left leg - the bad leg - from buckling, leaving Cloud hanging from the wall, half-collapsed in pain. "_Ow._"

"What is it?" Cloud looked up to see Sephiroth hovering over him.

"Nothing, just my foot," Cloud leant heavily on the wall as he pulled himself to his feet. During the somewhat intense conversation he had just held, he had somehow ignored the pain radiating from his foot, but now, it was impossible to ignore.

"Here, let me see-" Sephiroth knelt and automatically reached for Cloud's foot. Cloud tried to back away, but when he shifted the sore foot pain shot through him, and he hissed. Debating silently, he decided to brave it, and stay where he was; it wasn't as if Sephiroth would make it any worse ... right?

Sephiroth took the foot surprisingly gently, and turned it a little, prodding every now and then, until Cloud gave a loud gasp, and glared at Sephiroth angrily.

"Why did you do-"

"It's fractured, probably broken," Sephiroth informed Cloud flatly, gently sliding his foot onto the ground and out of his cold hands. "You'll have to go to the infirmary and have it set properly. Even with a ShinRa's advanced healing, they have to make sure the bones are in the right place, or they might have to re-break it."

"R-re-break it?" Cloud squeaked. "Where's the infirmary?"

Sephiroth looked at the boy for a long moment, obviously debating something, then sagged a little, and reached for Cloud.

"Here - I'll carry you."

"Wha - hey! Let me down!"

Cloud gasped as Sephiroth lifted him bodily from the floor, and squirmed in his arms, but the silver-haired SOLDIER held on determinedly and strode the long corridors of ShinRa until he found the white swinging doors that led to the Universal infirmary - the infirmary shared by both Trainees and SOLDIER - as it was the closest to where he had found the boy.

There was only a sleepy receptionist at hand, so after checking in with her Sephiroth let himself into one of the rooms and dropped Cloud onto the bed, a little roughly, but not too jostling, then stepped away and started pulling out drawers, searching.

Cloud watched the man, utterly confused.

"Uh ... sir?" Cloud asked. Sephiroth inclined his head absently to show he was listening. "Why are you helping me?"

Sephiroth hesitated for a moment, then said,

"It is my duty as a SOLDIER First Class to help any in need," he said uniformly, putting a small glass vial and a thick roll of bandages from the drawer before closing it. "Also, if left unattended this injury could lead to problems in training, favouring one foot over the other, a limp or nervous habit that could endanger you or any under your protection later in life."

"I ... see," Cloud said, his eyes following Sephiroth as the man moved to collect some scissors, then falling when the ShinRa turned around to face him.

"Do you?" Sephiroth muttered as he moved over to Cloud. "Do you really?" Then, in a louder voice, he said, "Here, this is a Potion. It should heal most of it." Sephiroth knelt down and took Cloud's foot, propping it up on the bed straight out and feeling around, making sure that the bones were in alignment before nodding to Cloud.

Cloud took the small vial of faintly glowing liquid nervously - such things not available in Nibelheim - and downed the lot in one go, frowning at the too-sugary taste that lingered on his tongue. He winced when he felt shifting in his foot, and looked down to see the skin pulsing a little. Then there was a rush of energy, a prickly feeling in his toes, and suddenly the dull, throbbing pain in his foot vanished, leaving him feeling slightly washed out and a little apprehensive.

"Why are you wrapping it?" Cloud asked as Sephiroth started to lay the bandage against the arch of his foot. Sephiroth didn't pause, and answered as he started to weave the white cloth around the slightly pink skin.

"The Potion healed most of it, but the new bone is still brittle and liable to breaking again. To make sure this doesn't happen, you'll need to keep it bandaged for a week or two, until it builds up strength again," Sephiroth cut the rest of the bandage neatly off and tied the loose end in place with a few metal clips. "All set," he announced unnecessary, leaning back and letting Cloud's foot fall back down to join the other where it was hanging off the side of the bed.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud muttered, looking up at Sephiroth thankfully.

"How did you break it?" Sephiroth asked after a moment of tense, awkward silence. He took the remaining bandages and rolled them securely up then walked across the room to replace it in the drawer he had taken it from.

"I ... got angry. When I was shut in my room," Cloud flushed, and Sephiroth turned to give the boy an appraising look.

"What did you destroy?"

"Oh - nothing! I swear!" Cloud was quick to say. "I just ... tried to get through the door. And didn't."

"I see," Sephiroth said, and Cloud could have sworn he heard a hint of amusement in the older ShinRa's words.

Cloud wasn't sure what to say in response, and the conversation soon fell back into a stiff silence. Sephiroth moved around noisily, banging the drawers and cupboard shut and heaving sighs as he tried to break the monotony of the white, sterile room. Finally, the silver-haired teenager was propped up in a chair, facing Cloud, who was picking at the sheets of the bed coverings nervously, ignoring each other's eyes. Then, it was Sephiroth who finally spoke.

"What was she like?"

"Huh?" Cloud turned to Sephiroth, eyeing the man in confusion. Sephiroth's head was turned away, his hands clasped loosely and hanging between his knees with his elbows perched on his thighs. It was by far the most relaxed position Cloud had seen Sephiroth in yet, and someone it convinced Cloud to continue. "You mean ... Ma?"

"Yes," Sephiroth muttered, still frowning at the silver door handle and pointedly avoiding Cloud's huge blue eyes.

"She i - was ... accepting," Cloud struggled to find words to describe the woman who had raised him. "It didn't matter to her where you came from or how you spoke, or acted. She still cared about you. She ... she has a really big heart, I've only seen one person whose heart is bigger." _Gareth._ "She can be a bit selfish, but she really does try to think about everyone else. She's really patient, and good at explaining things - that's why she's a really good teacher." Cloud paused for a moment, watching what little he could see of Sephiroth's face that wasn't curtained by a thick lock of silver hair. Then deciding to go on. "She really loved you. She was always on the internet, searching your name, though I never knew why. When the first pictures of you came out, when you graduated, I think she just about had a heart attack," Cloud laughed weakly at the memory, laced through with pain as all memories of Elena were. "She printed it off and stuck in under her pillow, and in a frame on her bedside table. She used to look at it every night before she went to sleep." Cloud paused again, once more unsure of how much he should tell the still, unmoving Shinra. "Every year on your birthday, she used to get out your picture, and this other one of her when she was younger, and another man - I think it was Kadaj - and cry. She loved you a lot. It must have really hurt when you were taken away from her."

Cloud's words finally faded, leaving Sephiroth sitting in his plastic chair, unresponsive, his eyes glazed as they fixated on the coot metal of the door handle. Cloud shifted nervously, and was just about to ask what was wrong, when Sephiroth spoke.

"Most ShinRa never know their mothers," Sephiroth announced abruptly. "Either they are Human, and we are taken from them at birth, or they are ShinRa, and return to service as soon as we can be separated safely. Even our fathers are strangers to us." Sephiroth moved then, leaning back in the chair and frowning. "I have always wondered - as every ShinRa wonders - what it must be like to have a mother or father who genuinely cares for _you_ - not ShinRa, not honour or upholding the family name - but _you_." Sephiroth drew in a slow breath. "You're lucky, Cloud. You grew up in such a place, in company that any ShinRa would gladly kill for, though they will never admit it." Sephiroth finally turned to face Cloud, his green eyes boring into blue sternly. "There's a reason, of course. Separation from our parents at such a young age teaches us independence, the ability to think for ourselves, and strength we would not otherwise have. Strength _you_ do not have. Cloud, you cannot let yourself show them that weakness. Simply being raised by a Human is not weakness itself - it is the feeling and attachment that are the falling points, the depending on someone other than yourself. You have to let go of that, Cloud, if you want to survive here."

"Is there no way out?" Cloud asked softly. "Am I really stuck here forever?"

"Yes," Sephiroth confirmed softly. "Many have tried - none of them publicly known, but yes, many have tried. And failed. The satellite may have saved countless lives ... but it has, in equal measure, destroyed them." Sephiroth stood suddenly, his face cutting off from Cloud, turning was quietly contemplative to stern and distant in the blink of an eye. Cloud jumped back startled, but then he too heard the sharp footsteps than announced the approaching of another ShinRa.

The door to the room they sat in opened, and Vincent stormed in, glaring at the two of them harshly before letting his ruby eyes settle disapprovingly on Cloud.

"What is this?" he demanded, turning to Sephiroth.

"He was injured, Vincent," Sephiroth told the man in a deadpan voice, his eyes as cold and uncaring as ever - even Cloud was unsure as to whether or not he had imagine the subtle yearning his face had been filled with only moments ago. "I found him collapsed in the hallway, and brought him here for medical attention."

"Injured? How?" Vincent turned his sharp eyes to the bandage on Cloud's foot, and his eyes darkened a little.

"It was only a sprain," Sephiroth informed him, subtly shifting the empty Potion bottle behind him and tucking it into his belt, out of view. "He'll need to go easy on training for a few days, but otherwise he'll be fine."

"Good," Vincent rumbled, sighing a little. "See that he gets back to his room soon." Then, without another word, he spun and marched from the room. The door swung shut.

Cloud stared at Sephiroth in amazement.

"Why did you li-" Sephiroth's head shook sharply, and Cloud swiftly changed what he was going to say, "-tell him that?" he finished incredulously.

"Why?" Sephiroth looked down at Cloud impassively, though Cloud swore he saw one cheek twitch a little. "He _is_ your father, he needs to be told _something_ ... although it is unfortunate that Potions are not permitted be used on Trainees. Otherwise you would be up and about in seconds."

Cloud's eyes widened in realisation, and looked up at Sephiroth in - well, not exactly _awe_, but something akin to it. Pride, perhaps. Understanding.

"It is a shame," Cloud said, Vincent's footsteps still in hearing and the need for deceit still hanging over them. _Thank you_, he mouthed to Sephiroth, one half of his mouth lifting into a grateful smile.

Sephiroth inclined his head in response.

"I take it you can make your own way to your room?" Sephiroth told Cloud, who nodded uncertainly, reasoning that he could follow the helpful signs and arrows that littered the compound. "Good," Sephiroth said simply, before marching from the room just as Vincent did without another sound.

Cloud stared after him. Wondering if perhaps his initial reckoning of the ShinRa was incorrect. Wondering if ... maybe ... there was a heart under all that stone.

The thought alone drew a tiny smile to his face.

* * *

Sephiroth stormed into his room, slamming it behind him and swearing ferociously, his hands sliding up to claw at the roots of his hair.

"Idiot!" he berated himself sternly. "You complete _idiot_! What the fuck do you think you're doing, talking to him about - about _that_!? You Planet-damned, mother fucking _idiot_!"

"Seph?" a sleepy call came from the bedroom on the left of the apartment Sephiroth and his two team members shared. "Who you killing this time?"

"No one," Sephiroth assured the man who blinked tiredly out at him from behind the ajar door. "No one..."

"Uh-huh," Genesis groaned, before flicking the door shut again and rolling onto his bed, falling alseep again almost immediately. Sephiroth sighed, and opened another door quietly, checking in for a moment and beating down an uncharacteristic chuckle; Angeal, in his room beside Genesis', had slept through the whole thing.

All humour faded as Sephiroth turned to his own room on the opposite side of the apartment, decorated in simple greys and whites, as bland as ever.

"I can't do this," he muttered to himself. "I can't let him get too close ... he'll destroy me." Sephiroth clenched his fingers around the ranch-slider door and threw it open, stepping out onto the wide, yet narrow deck and breathing deeply. The apartment was fairly high up in ShinRa tower, he could see all of Midgar and beyond for miles. The wind whipped harshly at this height, cold and fresh unlike the polluted air of Lower Midgar.

Tipping his head back, Sephiroth closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath before opening them again and looking out to where the sky was just beginning to rise, far in the east.

His head clear, Sephiroth thought long and deep. He studied the issue from every angle, pondered and contemplated and mapped out each path he could take, following them to their conclusions and weighing the options carefully. Then, when dawn peeked over the distant horizon, Sephiroth's musings came to an end.

He couldn't allow Cloud to grow attached to him. Not as a brother. Not even as a comrade. Cloud's weakness could be fatal. He couldn't allow that weakness to spread to him. He was a SOLDIER. There was no room for failure in SOLDIER. In ShinRa.

No. Cloud could not be allowed to see any further than he already had. Sephiroth was a fool for letting his walls fall as much as they had.

If Sephiroth took Cloud under his wing - as he had hesitated to consider doing, back in that stark infirmary - Cloud would grow to be dependant on him. It was the mark of a ShinRa to be independent, able to act on their own without hesitation, yet also equally in teams. It something Cloud would later suffer for.

Sephiroth breathed out slowly, and as his breath left him, let his worry for the blonde boy leave too. He let any scrap of emotion, any sympathy or shared sorrow, fall away to crash on the pavement so far away.

Yet even he couldn't bear to lose it all. And as he turned back into his room, reaching for his trusty Masamune and drawing her from her scabbard, his heart held one shard of those shattered thoughts. And hoped.

* * *

**Next:** Part Four, Chapter Five: Fight Inside. _Time passes. Cloud distances himself from the world of the ShinRa, and suffers the consequences. _


	13. Author's Note

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Author's Note**

No, this is not an update. This is a small notice to all my readers. I apologise, but I will not be updating this week, due to personal reasons. I'm going through a rather rough time at the moment, and if I wrote anything, it would turn out crap.

To make up for it, the next chapter - which, fingers crossed, will be coming out in another week's time - will be much longer than usual. Again, I apologise for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Red.


	14. Part Three, Chapter Five

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Alright, this chapter in the original plan wasn't even supposed to exist. There was _supposed_ to be a huge time-jump, then all of a sudden our Cloudy-kins is an angsting, hormone-driven teenager. Also, in this chapter, we were _supposed _to meet Zack. Instead, we meet ... well, I'll let you find out. The plot bunnies have mustered and attacked in full force. I now have a few ... okay, a _lot_ of ideas I want to try out. (sigh) Looks like I'm gonna have to rewrite the entire plot, _again_.

Now that I have my life sorted out, I can finally post this chapter. I apologise for not updating last week - but I really didn't want to post a chapter that would have turned out shit. A lot of stuff's going on in my family at the moment - I won't go into details - but I really haven't been in the mood to write for the last few weeks. Only sheer determination had me actually posting anything at all. But thank you to all the supportive PMs and reviews! They really helped - really! :)

I read over this chapter, and noticed that Cloud goes through some rather dramatic mood swings. Can you tell I was in various moods myself when I wrote this? You can almost pinpoint the parts where I stopped writing, and started again later. Damn.

Ooh. Another random fact. After about five pages of writing, I could suddenly smell chicken flavoured noodles, despite the fact that it was two in the morning, and there hadn't been food near my room for hours. _Bizarre_.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Fight Inside' by Red, 'Valentine's Day' by Linkin Park, 'Feel Good Inc.,' by Gorillaz.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Five: Fight Inside**

The next day's lessons flew by. Cloud was finally starting to match the First Year Trainees in their physical lessons, and any day would be moving up to join the rest of the Second Years. His written lessons were going well, his best subjects being mathematics and science, while for Gaian, History and Geography he actually had to think a little before answering. He was sure his teachers could see his ease in completing the set tasks, if the gleams in their eyes were anything to go by. He had already heard one of them talking about moving him up another year again, and he'd only been a Second Year Trainee for a day, if that. If things continued at this rate, he'd be back with children his own age in no time.

The moment class was out, Cloud rushed over to the SOLDIER compound, bouncing a little. The indicators Sephiroth had given last night had rekindled life in him, and he was eager to seek the brotherly comfort that had once been sought from Nanaki - but now, perhaps, might be available from the silver-haired ShinRa.

ShinRa Tower was divided into four sections, Cloud had discovered. The lowest quarter was the reception, administration, offices and meeting rooms, the like. The second quarter were where the Turks and Turk Trainees held fort, mingling freely, unlike the relationship between SOLDIER and SOLDIER Trainees. SOLDIER Trainees were kept separate from SOLDIER, in the third quarter, with the SOLDIER themselves in the fourth, and highest quarter. Turks and SOLDIERs rarely interacted, their sections kept strictly separate. The Council had set this rule in motion a couple of generations ago - their reasoning being that the ideas of Turk could not taint the morals of SOLDIERs, and vice versa.

But - as far as Cloud knew - there was no rule against SOLDIER Trainees from visiting the SOLIDER levels. As far as Cloud knew.

"Uhm, h-hello?" Cloud peered over the top of the reception desk - level with his nose - and tried his best to smile at the woman (obviously a Human) on the other side. The woman looked up, glanced around for a few seconds, then let her eyes fall to the tiny blonde that peeked over the top of the polished wood.

"Can I help you?" the woman smiled at the image, and leaned forward so she could see the ShinRa better.

"Yes, I was wondering if I could see Sephiroth?" Cloud beamed at the woman, and she smiled brightly back in response before whirling in her chair and pressing one of the many small black buttons that decorated a large wooden board.

"He'll be here shortly. Is there anything I can get you?" the woman asked kindly. Cloud politely refused, and retreated to one of the comfy seats that lined the walls, swinging his feet - one of them bare with a slightly battered bandage around it - while looking around the room in interest. Finally, the huge set of doors the the right of the reception desk opened, and Sephiroth stepped out.

"What?" he bluntly asked the woman at the desk. The woman's smile slipped a little, but she dutifully pointed to where Cloud sat, perched on the edge of his seat, happily humming to himself.

"There's someone here to see you," the receptionist announced happily, before turning back to her computer screen and plugging in a set of headphones to give the two privacy of some sort.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud grinned, jumping off the chair and walking swiftly over to where Sephiroth was frozen, staring down at the exuberant blonde with a blank stare. "I wanted to talk to you, so much happened today, the instructors were being really strict, and I know you understand what-"

"Cloud, I don't want you to ever come here again."

Cloud stopped dead when Sephiroth spoke. His head raised slowly, and he stared at the man in shock ... betrayal.

"Wh-what?" Cloud stammered.

"I. Don't want. You. To ever. Come here. Again," Sephiroth spelled it out slowly, his eyes glazing over, focused somewhere above Cloud's head so he wouldn't have to see the pain in the blonde's eyes.

"B-but I thought-"

"Go away, Cloud. I _don't want _you to come here. I don't want you to try and see me, or talk to me. Do not attempt to communicate with me in any way. I will not respond. Understood?"

Cloud blinked ferociously up at Sephiroth, shrinking in on himself, his confidence and radiant happiness fading like ripples on a lake's surface.

"U-understood," he echoed softly, turning and running from the reception, not seeing the clearly angry, disapproving look the receptionist gave Sephiroth as he turned to retreat into the SOLDIERs quarters.

Cloud ran straight to his room, dropping his bag on the empty desk and falling face-first onto the soft mattress. His body was shaking, but he wasn't crying.

Planet be damned, all he wanted - all he needed - was someone to trust. Someone to talk to. Someone who understood. Why couldn't Sephiroth see that?

Cloud bunched his fists in the bedspread beneath him, his breaths becoming heavier, louder. Irrational anger pulled at him, and his fingers actually ripped the blankets a little when he clenched too tightly.

It didn't make sense - Sephiroth had seemed so ... _understanding_ the night before. What had changed? Suddenly, Sephiroth acted not like the confused, reluctant person he had the night before; now, he acted as every other ShinRa did. Cold. Distant. Aloof. Everything Cloud wasn't.

ShinRa couldn't go on like this, but they were too ignorant to see it for themselves! If ShinRa were too ... too _pigheaded_ to see what he did, he would _make_ them see it. He would _force_ them to understand. They _had_ to.

Cloud pushed himself up from his place on the bed and pulled a few sheets of paper from it - the homework the instructor had set - and uncapped his pen, scribbling furiously, anger flowing from him and through the pen to manifest in a physical form on the slightly crinkled paper.

He'd _make_ them see the truth. If it was the last thing he did ...

* * *

"Cloud, could you come to the front, please?" the instructor asked in a low, dangerous voice. It was the instructor from a few days earlier, the male ShinRa who had had them reciting the ShinRa pledge for the last hour tirelessly.

"Yes, sir," Cloud replied fearlessly, dropping his pen on his open exercise book - filled with lines he couldn't _wait_ to show the ShinRa - and walked to the front of the room, aware of the other children's curious looks on the back of his head.

"Cloud, could you explain what _this_ is?" the ShinRa asked, holding up one of the completed sheets of homework. Cloud's eyes scanned the inked words, and his eyes narrowed as he struggled to contain his smug - albeit immature - amusement.

_What is the most powerful race in the world?_

_Humans. Chocobos. Three-legged fish. Take your pick. (Here's a clue: anything but ShinRa.)_

_What is one way to identify a ShinRa?_

_Their stupidity. See, ShinRa are so stupid and thick, that their eyes actually _shine _with it. _

_What is the Gathering?_

_A chance for ShinRa to give Humans false hope, and destroy their dreams. _

_ is the ShinRa pledge?_

_As SOLDIERs we love as if they were our own, because they are our future, and without them we are dead. As Turks we defend, at the cost of our lives, because without them we are lost. As One we stand, ShinRa and Humanity united, because without them we are nothing. _

"That's the homework we were set yesterday, sir," Cloud replied, giving the man his most innocent smile, making sure his eyes crinkled as he did. "I answered it the way I thought it should be answered. See, where is says 'what is the most powerful race in the world', I put 'human' as my first answer because-"

"Quiet," the Instructor shot a nervous look at the rest of the students, who were watching with wide-eyed innocence.

"But sir, I was just going to say that Humans are the more powerful race because of the way they keep ShinRa from going mad! I read over the history books, and found that ShinRa can't have children with other ShinRa very often, because when they-"

"Cloud, I order you to stop this instance!"

"But, wait, I was just gonna say that Humans are very important to ShinRa, and that we should be treasuring them, not-"

"Cloud! How _dare _you! That is _disgusting_. This is blatant disregard for you own kind, this is ... lies!"

"Um, sir, I really know I shouldn't be pointing it out, but don't you think that should be 'these _are_ lies'-"

"SIT!" the ShinRa roared, surging from his seat and looming over Cloud, his blue-green eyes lit fiercely and narrowed dangerously at the small blonde. Cloud couldn't hold back a small squeak of fear, though he soon hid it behind a radiant smile and a skip as he returned to his seat.

"They're not lies, sir," Cloud added as he slipped into his seat. "Humans and ShinRa are equals. Without Humans, ShinRa couldn't exist - but surely you've noticed it doesn't work the other way around?"

The ShinRa glared viciously at him, taking a few steps towards him, but Cloud wasn't done yet.

"See, Humans are capable of - of _existing_ without ShinRa. But ShinRa - we'd all be mad or dead if we didn't have Humanity to stabilise us. But here we are, thinking for some strange reason that _we_ are superior to _them_. Don't you see? They are _so_ much more important than we are," Cloud pleaded his case, watching as the instructor's face morphed into reluctant understanding, that was quickly overcome with rage.

"Cloud, what does sti-_sta_bilise mean?" a tiny girl - the smallest in the class, with huge navy blue eyes and limp hair - asked in a small voice. Cloud turned to her, and was about to answer, when the instructor suddenly stood and marched between them, grabbing Cloud's arm and wrenching him from his chair.

"Hey - what-" Cloud managed to gasp before he was thrown from the class. He skidded a little on the linoleum floor, and his elbows jarred as he tried to prop himself up on them. There were very few people passing by, but those that were looked down at him in vague interest before moving on.

"I will _not_ have you corrupting the minds of my students, _Cloud_," the Instructor spat. "So until you get your head in the right place, I refuse to teach you!"

"All I'm doing is telling the truth!" Cloud insisted, finally managing to push himself to his feet, staggering a little as he did, forgetting that his foot was a still tender, but managing to draw himself up to his full height and meet the older ShinRa's eyes. "They have the right to know what the world is really like-"

"And I suppose you want to be the one to tell them?" the Instructor laughed humourlessly. "Look, you're just a kid. No one's going to listen to you. You - you don't know _anything_ about life, about those Humans that raised you. I saw three of my friends blown apart by those same _demons_ you're trying to protect! You're sitting there, preaching love and rainbows and peace, but the world knows - _we_ know - it will never be that way! Humans are mindless, cruel creatures that need us to keep them under control! Without us, the Planet would have been torn apart in minutes!"

"Look, I'm sorry your friends died - but is it really fair to blame the actions of one or two on an entire race? They probably wouldn't have even died if it hadn't been for the way you treat them in the first place-"

"SILENCE!" the Instructor _screamed_. "You _will_ be _silent!_ That's it, you're beyond my help. I tried, but I can't do this. I'm going to the Council. They'll know how to fix you and your - and your _broken_ mind!"

The ShinRa turned to return to his class, leaving Cloud standing in the corridor, looking at him helplessly.

"I'm not broken! I don't need fixing! There's nothing wrong with me! It's all of you that are broken!" Cloud insisted, calling, _shouting_ as the door swung shut. "It's all of _you_ that need to be fixed!!"

The door clicked shut.

Cloud stood for a few minutes longer, staring at the unmoving wood, starting to realise just how he had sounded to them. He must have seemed half crazed - but couldn't they _see_? They couldn't go on like this, they couldn't! By trying to force him to their way of life, they were unknowing smothering their chance at redemption; their chance at a better life.

Well, he _could_ be a chance at a better life, if only they would _let_ him help them. Sephiroth had been Cloud's first step towards such redemption, but he hadn't expected the man to turn him away.

Cloud sighed and tottered back until his back was pressed against the corridor wall. He slid down it, sitting with his back curled against the white panel and his legs bent, elbows perches on his knees and hands threaded into his spiky blonde hair.

This wasn't working.

How was he supposed to change these people's lives, how was he supposed to save them, if he didn't know how? He didn't even know where to start! Sephiroth had forbidden him from ever approaching again; the Instructor had ripped his suggestive ... okay, maybe not so suggestive as _forceful_ ... answers to shreds; his classmates were too young to properly comprehend the consequences of the life they were living; half the Tower thought he was mad, for Planet's sake!

"Oh _fuck_," he moaned, "What the hell am I gonna do?"

His eyes darted up, he tensed slightly, half waiting for Elena to swoop down on him and berate him for swearing, perhaps with a light cuff on his head, or an order to go to his room. But when he saw that she wasn't there - that she wasn't coming - Cloud sighed, and lowered his eyes.

He needed Elena, Ma, now more than ever. He needed her advice, her calm reassurance, the motherly affection that had always beaten back fear and hopelessness. He needed her courage, her ingenuity, her soothing words of comfort. He needed _her_.

But she wasn't there; no one was. Ma, Tifa, Johnny, Naki, they had all been taken away from him, each and every one of them, each and every source of strength he had.

"I can't do this," he whispered, sinking his fingers deeper into his hair and sighing heavily. "Planet, I can't do this."

Cloud paused, subconsciously waiting for someone to kneel beside him and press a hand to his shoulder, tell him that he _could_ do this, that he _was_ strong enough. Like Ma, or Naki would.

But no one came. Cloud raised his head, and saw that he was alone in the corridor, no one had heard his words, his fears. Cloud felt sharp pain run through his chest, but it wasn't a physical pain. It was the pain of loss and loneliness, as for the first time, Cloud realised just how alone he really was.

"I have to do this, but I can't," Cloud breathed, trying to reassure himself, and failing miserably. "I'm just one kid. How the _fuck_ am I supposed to change the world?"

_But I have to. If I don't ... I'm the only one who's in the right place, who knows the right people. I'm in the best position to do this, I have to keep going. I can't give up. I can never give up. _

Cloud raised his head, fighting off the depression stubbornly and jumping to his feet. He needed air; he needed to see the sky. He needed to breathe.

So he ran. He ran, thumping down corridors and banging through doors, climbing and higher and higher, through the SOLDIER quarters, up stairs and escalators and elevators, down dark, forgotten corridors and through brightly lit, well-looked after rooms, until finally he found a thin, winding set of wooden stairs that led to a metal hatch. Gasping for breath, Cloud ran up the stairs, neglecting the metal band bar, and twisted the level to open the hatch, until it suddenly gasped open. Cloud leapt up through the hatch, letting it fall back behind him. The hatch opened into a small, meter-wide corridor between the two halves of a dome that formed the tip of the Tower. Cloud ran forward a few steps, breaking free of the shadows, then finally slowed, and caught his breath.

Here, away from the smog that choked the lower city, away from the clouds and despair ... here, it was beautiful. He could see in every direction, he could see the sea to the north and west, the distant mountain ranges to the south, and to the east, a plain stretched so far and so green he didn't see the end of it. The wind snatched at his clothes, threatening to push him, pull him under, but Cloud wasn't scared.

Shaking a little from cold, Cloud stepped forward fearlessly and stood on the edge of the Tower, holding the thin metal bar that was all the protection to keep him from falling. Still panting a little, he looked down.

Planet, he was up _high_.

The Tower, impossibly high, stretched below him for hundreds of meters, windows both opened and closed, shining in the reflection of the sun. Metal and glass - tinted, of course - and thin pipes that transported water and heat. And below - so far below, Cloud almost couldn't see it - there was a tiny, _tiny_ sidewalk - no, a road, the sidewalk was the sliver of grey _beside_ the impossibly small road - decorated with dots. The city of Midgar was spread around this point, the buildings often reaching for the Tower, yet none coming even close to challenging the _impossible _height the Tower did.

Cloud, feeling a little dizzy, raising his eyes instead. The clouds - they were so much closer than they seemed down on the ground. He felt almost as if he could reach up and touch them, brush away the cotton-candy wisps and taste them. The air up here was crisp and clean, like the air at Nibelheim is ... was ... had been ...

Cloud shook his head to rid himself of his darkening thoughts, and pushed away from the edge of the Tower, moving closer to the centre while keeping his eyes on the rolling, ever-changing clouds above him, his namesake. The Sun was hovering to one side, darting in and among the clouds and bathing Cloud in it's radiance every time it broke free.

Cloud closed his eyes, and smiled.

In a city where he had yet to find beauty, and hope, ... it seemed that, now, he had.

* * *

A week later, the Council gathered for that day's topic of discussion: which was, once again, the enigma of Cloud Strife.

"I hear he's causing trouble in class?" Abei intoned absently, one hand playing with a small key ring he'd picked up some time that day, twirling it around his finger and snatching it back when it flew into the air.

"Yes, deliberately answering trivia and current affairs questions wrong, claiming that Humans are superior to ShinRa or some such nonsense," Kadaj revealed, shaking his head. When one of Cloud's instructors had approached him, he had feared - and received - the worst. Cloud wasn't settling in, and now, it was time to take a more drastic approach, an approach they had all hoped not to take.

"He doesn't think that the normal classes are faring well?" Vincent asked.

"No, in fact he specifically requested that he be transferred to-"

"_Specifically_?" Verdot straightened in his seat, his face darkening a little. "Sure it can't be that bad, that the boy actually had to be _suggested_ for-"

"Yes, it is that bad. I hear he is - trying to _convert_ his classmates to his way of thinking?" Kadaj chuckled a little. "And after reading the instructor's report, I can only say that I agree with him."

The Council members fell silent, some of them gasping a little. It was incredibly rare for _anyone _to actually be _suggested_ for...

"Well then, the only thing we have left to discuss it how long he will be there, and when he starts," Kadaj sighed, a little regretfully, but still with full intent to go along with what was being proposed.

Sephiroth raised his eyes from where they had been fastened to the dark wooden table.

"Father - are you sure this is the right way?" he asked in a low voice. The other Council members looked to him, surprised.

"Sephiroth - surely you of all people should understand the severity of this situation?" Kadaj nearly gaped at his son - nearly. "If this continues, the very fibre of who we are could be rotted away from the inside, we could be destroyed by this! We can't let this continue, something must be done about that boy before he does something irreparable."

The six other Council members were nodding, but Sephiroth only raised a hand to rub at his temple warily. He still wasn't convinced it was the best solution - but if Kadaj said it was the only way ...

"Fine. How long?"

"Until they release him," Lucrecia suggested. "Until they deem him completely rehabilitated."

Vincent glanced at her, his eyes widened a little in surprise. It had been decades since someone had been sent - _there_, with no set frame of time in which to serve their (for lack of a better term) sentence.

"He's only a child, only nine years old," Tseng frowned at his fellow Turk.

"We have sent children _there_ before, Tseng," Lucrecia reassured the ShinRa. "Trust me, I've studied psychology intensively - it was one of my electives in the last quarter of training - I _know_ a lost cause when I see one. His only chance of redemption is to remain _there_ until we can be completely sure that he won't affect the Trainees."

Abei nodded slowly, and the other Council members turned to him, their shoulders sagging a little in relief.

"Alright," Abei agreed. "We have no other choice; in a week's time, Cloud will be sent to Reconditioning, to remain until the Supervisors declare him stable. All in favour?"

Slowly, one by one, every member of the elitist Council raised their hands. Tseng, admittedly, hesitated a little, and Sephiroth's was the slowest of all to rise, but in the end, there was no hope of changing Abei's mind, of changing the orders that were neatly scribed onto one of the few red slips kept in a file furthest to the back.

Back in his room, lying on a bed and drawing on his assigned homework absently (a rather creative drawing, he thought, where Scarlet paired with Mr Passe were in the midst of a hopeless Chocobo stampede, with the feathered beasts wearing shining armour and armed with lethal looking stacks of math questions), Cloud suddenly shuddered.

Something was very, very wrong.

But he wouldn't know how wrong until later that day, when a messenger came to his room carrying a small red envelope and staring at him in wonder ... and fear.

* * *

That Saturday, Cloud found himself bundled into a small, discreet aeroplane, his tattered backpack thrown after him along with a dark duffel bag filled with clothes.

Cloud sat - the only other person in the plane beside the pilot, and the bored looking Turk sitting opposite - and nervously toyed with the rose coloured stone around his neck, hidden beneath his shirt. It was the crystal Elena had given him - the same one Denzel had broken the chain of - and now it hung not from the original chain, but a slimmer, silver coloured chain Naki had bought for him after he'd lived at the Tower for a month. Cloud had been nervous about wearing it at first - what if they saw it, and took it away from him? - but eventually, he grew used to wearing it tucked underneath his shirt, the chain short enough that it bounced gently against his chest, yet not so short that it showed above the fabric of his clothes.

Cloud looked up at the Turk, and caught the small, pitying look before the man turned away sharply.

"Sir? Where are we going?" Cloud asked. He didn't expect an answer; he hadn't received a single straight one the whole week. Every time he asked anyone - his instructor, the Supervisors, Scarlet, _anyone_ - what Reconditioning was, they would pale, avert their eyes, and shuffle away absently. The most Cloud ever learnt from anyone was "it's the last resort," before the teenager had been shushed by her concerned friends, and pulled down the corridor, away from the confused blonde.

So, therefore, Cloud was immensely surprised when the Turk (probably out of pity, he realised when he looked back) opened his mouth, and answered.

"A small air field, located midway between Midgar and Junon. Very few people know of it."

"Why am I going there?"

"For Reconditioning," the Turk informed him flatly. Cloud sighed a little, exasperated, desperate for information.

"I _know _that, but what _is_ Reconditioning?"

But, apparently, that was as far at the Turk's kindness went, for his mouth shut with a determined snap, and his eyes turned, to become fixed on a swinging First Aid kit hanging from the wall behind Cloud. There were no windows - the plane was built for practical use, not sight seeing, and was obviously used for transporting small teams of SOLDIERs or Turks across small distances, probably for missions or training. Cloud could see a few parachute bags piled in the back of the plane, and a handful of oxygen masks arranged on the wall beside a large box containing an emergency axe. Cloud closed his eyes, and tightened his fist over the rose coloured crystal. He hoped that, wherever he was going, they didn't take it away from him. He hadn't thought to remove it before he left, and now with the Turk there, he had no chance. His other hand reached for his backpack, and the Turk's eyes followed. Cloud's heart nearly stopped when the Turk leant forward, clearly interested.

"That bag, it's not ShinRa regulated," he calmly stated. Cloud closed his eyes momentarily, and tried in vain to regulate his breathing. He felt sweat beading on the back of his neck - for a moment, he wondered why such a comment sparked so much panic, but he quickly fought the thought down in favour of answering the curious Turk.

"No," Cloud said. "I didn't live in the Tower all my life. I grew up with Humans. My - My Uncle gave it to me." _Gareth._

"Wait - you're not, not _that_ one, are you?"

"What one?"

"You know..." the Turk leaned a little closer, as if sharing a secret. "_Vincent's_ kid."

"Vincent? Oh, um, yeah, he's my dad. I guess," Cloud bit his lip, not wanting to be reminded of Vincent - because if he was reminded of Vincent, he was in turn reminded of Naki. Nanaki. _Nanaki..._

"Wow," the Turk stared at him openly for a few seconds, before looking away. "That's a shame..."

"What's a shame?" Cloud would, of course, later curse his curiosity.

"Well, that you're going to ... to Reconditioning..."

"Why? What's so bad about Reconditioning?"

"Well, Reconditioning is only for the really lost causes. The ones that _refuse_ to fit in. Ones like you, I guess. But when they go in, they spend months - often _years_ - in this place. And when they come out ... well, they aren't the same any more. No one ever comes back from that place ... the same as they went in."

Cloud's eyes widened.

"S-So, what you're saying is..." Cloud's voice was only a whisper against the whirring and thudding of the engine, and he swayed a little as the plane hit turbulence. "That Reconditioning is ... _literally_ ... Reconditioning?"

The Turk smiled wryly.

"Why else would they call it that?" he asked dryly. "They're gonna take you, kid, and they're gonna change you. You won't even know who you are by the time they spit you out. You won't be - what ever you are now. You'll be someone else entirely. You'll be who they _want_ you to be."

Cloud's face paled further, if that was possible. _No - no, no, nononono_...

"Ha - has anyone ever...?"

"Resisted? Na," the Turk sighed a little. "Ask anyone, _anyone_ you meet in that Tower: its impossible. But ... well, even if they _do_ resist, and make it out with some form of - I dunno, _conscience_, they never let _anyone_ know it. Probably 'cause they're too scared."

"Scared?" Cloud was shaking now - and not just from the increasingly bumpy ride, either.

"Yeah. No one knows what goes on at Reconditioning. People who come out never speak about it. Only a handful know where it is. And even they don't actually go into the actual site - they just drop the people off. But, look, you even _mention_ the term 'Reconditioning' around those poor buggers that come out, and they start shaking. Y'know? Once, I heard a guy fainted just when his partner asked him to 'do some Recon.' If anyone ever did resist, they wouldn't want a soul to know. Cause if the Council - or anyone - found out, they'd be back there before you could say 'hell, no.'"

Cloud closed his eyes against the suddenly sadistic look in the Turk's eyes. What had, at first, started as a simple conversation of curiosity had turned Cloud's very bones to jelly, the kind they served sometimes at dinner that tasted like watery sugar, and was entirely too artificial for his liking. Cloud pulled his backpack up to his chest, suddenly aware of what he held in it, suddenly aware that he couldn't bear loosing it. _Stupid_, he swore silently. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did you bring it all with you? Why didn't you hide some of it? They'll probably take it away, now, they'll probably hide it or - or ruin it. Planet, you are _so_ stupid_...

The Turk watched the blonde silently, watching as unfathomable pain flashed across his young face. His eyes fell to the backpack he clung to, and it couldn't have been plainer that he had put two and two together, than if a light-bulb had lit above his head.

"You're scared they'll take that away from you, aren't you?" the Turk asked, gesturing to the bag. Cloud's eyes opened, and he nodded silently. The aeroplane gave a particularly suddenly lurch, and both Cloud and the Turk were forced to grab hold of the overhead bars to keep their balance.

"Look, I'm not promising anything, but ... if you want, I can put it some place safe?"

Cloud's eyes shot up from where he had been contemplating the bag sadly.

"Wh-what?" he gasped, hope shooting through him almost painfully.

"Sure, I can store it in the hangar or something, ready for if - when you get out," the Turk didn't know what had spurred this sudden act of compassion - maybe it was the heartbroken look in the kid's eyes when he realised just what he was in store for. Maybe it was the way he clung to that bag as if it were the last thing in in the world, a sturdy rock in a sea he was drowning in. A lifeline.

"Really? You'd do that?" Cloud's face was shining with wonder. A crackle came from a speaker above them, and the voice of the pilot filtered into the crude cabin.

"_This is your Pilot speaking, we are preparing for landing, ETA three minutes. Conditions are crap. Over._"

The Turk chuckled a little, and moved over to the single door, and the tiny window it bore - the only source of light in the whole plane. At first, Cloud thought the window was misted, but then he realised that it wasn't mist, but rain, and that the roar of the engines must have disguised the hard driving of water against the metal hull, that he could distinctly hear now that he was listening for it.

As the Turk retook his seat opposite Cloud, his mouth twitched into an involuntary smile.

"Sure, I'd do that. You look like you could need a hand, kid. I've seen too many people destroyed by that place," he nodded towards the floor, and what Cloud could only guess was the place where Reconditioning (suddenly, the term seemed so much darker to him) took place. "I don't wanna see you loose that smile too, huh kid?" He reached over and ruffled Cloud's hair. Cloud was as a loss as to what to do. Whatever had happened to the stiff, silent Turk he'd been presented with at the beginning of the flight? "We don't get enough of them 'round the Tower, y'know?"

Cloud smiled hesitantly up at the man, and slowly, reluctantly, gave the Turk his prized backpack. He considered giving him his necklace, too, but he didn't want to leave everything to this man - whose name he didn't even know - on the whim that he could be lying.

"Thank you," Cloud thanked him all the same, and the Turk leaned back in his seat, grabbing the metal railing with one hand firming and silently indicating for Cloud to do the same. The shuddering of the plane increased, and Cloud closed his eyes tightly. He'd never flown - at least, not while conscious - before now, and suddenly he wanted it all to end. Until now, his conversation with the Turk had kept memories at bay, but all of a sudden he was only too aware of how they were trapped in the rear of a thin metal tube, with only one exit, miles in the air, and in the middle of a storm none the less.

"No worries, kid," the Turk replied easily, and then, suddenly, his warm and open face shut off, and as if at the flick of a switch he fell back into the detached person he had been before their revealing conversation.

Cloud, both hands now free, clung to the rails as tightly as he could, eyes closed and trying to fight the panic that rose in his throat. He'd had one or two panic attacks during his time in the Tower - once, in the shower, and another when he was hiding in a tiny office from one of his instructors - but until now, he'd almost forgotten his claustrophobia. He'd been too distracted to recognise his elevated heart beat, and the phantom brush of stone and Tifa's hands, but now he was only too aware that sweat glistened on his forehead, and his breath, short and quick, panicked.

Then, with a jolting lurch, the small plane landed, and Cloud was thrown to the side, his weak grip on the metal pole broken embarrassingly easily. He knocked his head on the grilled floor, but before the mystery Turk could ask him if he was alright, the door to the plane was thrown open, and heavy, humid air rushed into the air conditioned cabin, followed swiftly by stray droplets of heavy rain. A dark figure stood at the door, unidentifiably due to the sheer intensity of the rain that pounded outside.

"C...on...et...insi..." the man's impossibly loud voice was cut off by howls of wind and the creaking of what Cloud suspected was wood - perhaps trees, or a nearby building?

The Turk stood and nodded to Cloud, slinging the backpack casually over his shoulder while Cloud picked up the duffel bag of clothes he'd been given. The Turk took Cloud's shoulder and steered him towards the door, and the dark figure. The unknown man reached for Cloud and, taking him under each arm, lifted him easily from the plane.

The moment Cloud was carried from the relative safety of the plane, he felt he weight of his fear fade away. His fear, however, was immediately and uncomfortably replaced with the sudden feeling of being absolutely, irrevocably, completely and utterly _wet_. Rain soaked him through, right to the skin, it plastered his hair to his cheeks and neck, it clung to his squinting eyelashes, some even ran into his ears. His fingers began to shake with cold, and he barely noticed the hand on his neck - the feeling lost among the stinging of the rain on his bare skin - until the pressure bid him to walk forward, fighting the wind, into a landscape he couldn't see from the fog of rain before him.

Then, just as suddenly as he had been thrown into the chaotic world, he was taken from it, and he and the two men behind him were standing in a huge, high-ceilinged hangar. There was an old, two-seater plane down the far end, with a few panels taken off, clearly in repair. There was a reception desk, surrounded by piles of paper and a single, dusty computer, in the corner to the left of the doorway. There were a few barrels of aviation oil lying around, along with sheets of metal and electrical boards.

Cloud was unaware of the conversation taking place between the stranger, and the Turk. It all seemed, somehow, surreal to him. The flight, the conversation with the Turk, the sudden chaos of rain and wind they had struggled through, and now the deadly calm of the hanger, with only the drumming of rain and the faint whistle of wind to remind them of what waited outside. Minutes passed, the puddles of water growing beneath them as they continued to drip onto the concrete floor. Cloud shivered a little, and wrapped his arms around himself for warmth, his dazed eyes looking from one, unfamiliar man to the other, only slightly less unfamiliar. Here he was - in the middle of no where, with nothing but the clothes on his back, and the clothes in his bag, with two complete strangers, about to be exposed to what the Turk had painted as one of the most feared procedures ShinRa had invented. Planet, he was _so_ screwed.

Cloud was still dripping, shaking from cold, when the Turk, removing his hand from Cloud's neck, moved away. Cloud watched distantly, almost missing what the ShinRa was doing as he absently shrugged the bag off and tossed it down, close to a nearby pile of large nuts, bolts and springs. The Turk met his eyes after he had done so, and raised one eye brow almost imperceptibly. Cloud nodded ever so slightly - just once, just a fraction of a head shake - to show that he had caught the casual movement. And then, Cloud found himself being led away by the dark, mysterious person that had welcomed them on the airstrip, his arm in the stranger's vicelike grip, watching as the Turk re-opened the door and re-entered the hell outside.

Cloud knew he would never see the Turk again; he would never know his name, never be able to thank him for his unexpected kindness.

But somehow, Cloud knew that that was the least of his troubles right now.

* * *

The moment the unnamed Turk was gone, Cloud felt himself being dragged across the hangar by the tall, dark figure. The man had yet to remove the oiled hood that hid his face, and Cloud wasn't given a chance to ask his name; before he could even take a breath to say "wait," he found himself being pulled through a door on the other side of the hangar and into a corridor with a thick, glass dome as a roof, and stainless-steel as the shoulder-high walls, and floors. Cloud looked up as he was led along, mesmerised by the sight of water falling and dripping onto the arced glass, and the dull thudding it made.

The corridor was long, and lit softly with lights along the corners of the floor. Cloud found himself growing steadily more and more apprehensive as they went, eyeing the unknown man cautiously. When the finally reached the end of the corridor, the glass roof became metal, and widened into a pentagonal alcove with the corridor as one edge, and four double doors, one on each of the other edges. There was no way to differentiate between them, but Cloud was led through the one furthest to the left. He stumbled a little when the doors closed behind him, but the stranger did nothing to help him. Only stood there, and carefully evaluated him.

The room was ... well, ordinary. There was nothing of any sort to describe the horror and nightmarish qualities the Turk had suggested. It looked as any receptionists' office did, with neat chairs, potted plants and abstract paintings on white walls. There was a desk, yet no receptionist. There was a low coffee table, magazines, a water cooler in the corner, a rack to hang jackets and hats on. Cloud focused on the last object, seeing that the stranger's coat now hung there. He turned to the stranger, and his eyes widened a little at what he saw.

He was a man - a Human, that is. He had black eyes, dark brown hair, abnormally pale skin and a dark shadow of stubble over his chin and cheeks. He had a tiny, teardrop tattoo just beneath his right ear, and he was staring down at Cloud coldly.

"Welcome to Reconditioning," he stated in a grave voice, before taking Cloud's arm, and once again leading him forward. Cloud dragged his eyes away from the man's face, and focused on the path ahead of them. The path to the mystery of "Reconditioning." The path to the unknown.

* * *

**Next: **Part Three, Chapter Six: Leave Out All the Rest. _Cloud meets his fellow wards. _


	15. Part Three, Chapter Six

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **I just got my End-of-Year Exam results from November back, and I am very pleased with them! I got straight Excellence's (the equivalent of "Straight A's") in Accounting, did surprisingly well in English despite the fact I had _no _idea what I was talking about, and over all the exams, I only failed two papers out of thirty! And as I don't particularly care much for Chemistry (atomic bonding and chemical reactions are all very well, but it's rather hard to learn anything when the teacher can't "teach" for shit - once again proving that one _can _pass Year Eleven without opening a book), I am very happy indeed.

Okay, so, its a shorter chapter than normal. I'm still - _still_ - trying to figure out what's happening at Reconditioning. This entire saga wasn't supposed to exist, so I'm having a little trouble trying to fit it in. Any ideas - drama, angst, plot twists etc - would be appreciated, concerning Cloud's stay at Reconditioning, which should span out a few more chapters yet.

Also, thank you for all the amazing reviews!! It's always nice to see new faces (not literally, but you know what I mean), and even just a favourite or story alert is much appreciated. Thank you!

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Leave Out All the Rest' by Linkin Park, 'Burden of Sacrafice' by Full Blown Rose, 'Prelude 12-21' by AFI.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Six: Leave Out All the Rest**

The room Cloud was given was smaller than his one at ShinRa, about the same size as his one back at Nibelheim, but it had half the number of things in it. The only piece of substantial furniture was the single bed, covered in thin white sheets to match the white walls, floor and ceiling. There were no windows, and only two doors - one leading to the corridor his room, along with an indefinable number of others, was found along, and the other leading to possibly the most boring wardrobe Cloud had ever seen.

The moment he was shown to his room by the stony faced Jason - who, as he bluntly announced, preferred to be called "Jase" - he heard something hiss ominously, and a small red light flashed just above the door. Cloud frowned and stepped over to the door, pulling on the handle curiously, and cringed a little when he found that it would not open. He stumbled back, staring around the small room, feeling his heart beat rise. There were no windows - only a tiny grate about the size of his hand, a ventilation shaft, in one corner - and the door was locked. The single bed, along with the endless white of the walls, gave the illusion that the room was a lot larger than it looked ... or a lot smaller. It was nearly impossible to see where the walls met the floor, where the ceiling met the walls, where the shadows were - for there were no shadows, only bright, glaring lights set in every wall and surface, so that the room was illuminated almost painfully.

A light weight around his neck reminded him of his necklace, and the need to hide it before any of the people here - if there _were_ people here, as he hadn't yet seen any - took it off him. Even while his eyes scoured the room for cameras, his hand was scrabbling at his neck, pulling the rosy-pink stone and it's chain over his head and curling his hand over it. He looked around for a suitable hiding place, and finally settled on hiding the necklace under the padding in the sole of his right shoe, not even bothering to pretend to tie the laces as a cover; if they had seen the necklace as he pulled it over his head, there was no point in concealing where he had hidden it. He could only hope they hadn't seen either, and that the tattered bag in the hangar went unnoticed by anyone that chanced upon it.

Cloud dropped his bag - the light blue fabric now the only source of colour in the room besides himself - and moved to the bed, unbearable weariness suddenly setting in. In his last moments before unconsciousness, Cloud thought he smelled - something, he wasn't sure what. Some sort of gas ... no! _Sleeping gas?_ Were they insane!?

Cloud struggled for a little longer, fighting to keep his eyes open, but he was gone too far, and the gas that consumed him was too powerful. With the world around him suddenly exploding into colour, he fell into troubled - somehow, artificial - dreams.

He wasn't sure how long he lingered in the vortex of nothing, yet everything; images swum before his eyes, names, faces, buildings and images, some of them familiar, some of them surreal, some of them painful and damaging. Light filtered through the images, sometimes passing through as if they were translucent, sometimes framing them, sending them into shadow, sometimes clear, white colour, sometimes coloured, green, blue, maroon, violet...

Cloud's head ached and throbbed, he groaned and reached up to brush his fingers against his forehead, blinked ferociously, the images fluttered in and out of view, and then suddenly-

"NO!" Cloud screamed, lurching forward, his throat torn raw from the sheer power and volume of his voice. He was sitting on his bed, fully clothed, with his shoes paired neatly on the floor, sweat dripping down his face and-

Uh oh. Cloud's eyes moved back to the shoes, and the white socks that had been tucked into them.

He didn't remember taking off his shoes before falling asleep. As he recalled, he'd had barely enough time to do anything more than stumble in the general direction of his bed, before he fell unconscious. He couldn't even remember _touching_ the bed before his eyes closed.

Cloud clenched his fists in the ruffled fabric of the bed and whipped his head from side to side, searching the room desperately, trying to ignore the innate panic that rose in his throat. _No, no, Planet no, what happened? What happened?!_

Cloud looked over himself, trying to find anything else that was changed. His pendant was still there, a snub of pencil he'd shoved in his pocket was still there, a crumpled tissue, the red envelope that had "invited" him here, a rubber band-

Cloud's eyes fell on his wrist, and he froze.

Around his wrist, secured tightly in a way so that it could only be removed by cutting, was an innocent plastic bracelet with a wide surface, the type usually seen in a hospital. His name was pencilled onto a slip of paper encased within, along with the words "Reconditioning" and "Ward 107, Room 23." Cloud slipped a finger under the bracelet and tried to pull it off, but the plastic was strong - stronger than it looked - and all he did was strain his wrist with the pressure of the bracelet against it. Cloud pushed his sleeve back, and prepared to try harder, but he paused when a tiny sting of pain flashed at the movement.

Hesitantly, he reached, and pulled his sleeve up - past the elbow.

His eyes closed. He felt sick - so, so sick, like he was about to faint, he couldn't control his fingers, they were shaking too badly, they felt numb, his heart felt like someone had wrapped a cold hand around it, he couldn't breathe.

There, at the crook of his elbow, there were shallow indentations, many of them. The type that came from repeated injections, and enough of them in various stages of healing that Cloud knew he must have been there for-

"Oh Planet," Cloud gasped. "Oh Planet, oh _Planet_-"

_How long was I out? How _long_ have I _been_ here?!_

Cloud pushed himself off the bed, but staggered when he tried to support himself. His legs buckled under him, and he collapsed onto all fours. His limbs were shaking, feeling like he hadn't used them in _months-_

"Oh, hell," Cloud moaned. "Please, no. No, _no_."

What had they _done_ to him? Cloud couldn't help panicking: they could have done _anything_ while he was unconscious, helpless, for Planet knows how long. Cloud's hands moved to his shirt, no longer the grey uniform he'd worn at the Tower, but now a long-sleeved, loosely fitted shirt that was white and soft, but thin. Cloud ripped it over his head and looked down at his chest, sagging in relief when he found nothing; no scars, no bruises, no strange disfigurements or different ... colours ...

Cloud frowned and strained his head, looking down at his right shoulder. There was something there, that hadn't been before. It was almost unnoticeable, just a tiny lump, but ...

Cloud touched it.

And collapsed, as the lump - whatever it was - gave him a shock, electric, that shot through to the very tips of his fingers and toes, that made his legs and stomach clench spasmodically and lingered in his mind, numbing all thought.

"Aaaand, it looked like number One-oh-Seven is _awake!_" a chirpy voice crowed from somewhere above Cloud's head. Cloud groaned and shifted, fighting the traces of electricity that lingered in his limbs and bones.

"What ..." he managed to groan, his eyes squinting a little to see the silhouetted figure above him.

"Hey, buddy! How's it goin'?" the man leaned over him, smiling so widely even Cloud, with his double-vision, faded energy and exhausted body could see it.

"Who ... are ...?" Cloud mumbled as he tried, and failed, to gather his arms beneath him and push himself to his feet.

"My name's Austin, and_ I _will be your tour guide during your stay here!" Austin announced happily. Cloud let his forehead fall against the cool ground, sighing a little, but Austin tutted loudly and reached down to entwine his fingers roughly in Cloud's hair.

"Uh uh _uh,_ no sleepy-time for _you_, little master. It's time for _you_ to meet the other kiddies, so play nice, huh?"

Cloud winced when Austin suddenly pulled roughly on his hair, forcing him to - somehow - find his way upright. Cloud swayed, finally focusing his eyes on a man with bright ginger hair and vibrant, turquoise eyes - ShinRa eyes - wearing a leather jacket over casual day clothes. He had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, though strangely, it wasn't lit. Cloud had only a moment to process this, before the controlling hand in his hair forcing him to the door.

"Wait ... my, shirt-" Cloud slurred, and Austin stopped on the threshold of the open door, releasing the ShinRa's hair and slapping himself of the forehead loudly.

"Oh _course_, I am _so_ stupid," he announced loudly, leaning over and snatching Cloud's discarded shirt from the ground, forcing it over Cloud's head roughly. "_There_ we are. All set now?"

Cloud found the man's energetic nature tiring, and could only nod weakly in response. Austin grinned wolfishly at him, then grabbed his shoulder - the one without the strange, painful lump - and marched him out into the corridor. As they walked down the white hall, Cloud noticed that the many doors, that had before been shut, were now open, like his.

_How many people are _in_ here?_ Cloud wondered through the fog in his mind, shuddering in his thin clothes as cold air washed over him. The corridor came to an end when the narrow walls suddenly fell away, replaced with a huge, open-roof complex with concrete tiled floor and high, white-brick walls that curved inwards a little at the top, forcing a broad, circular room. The sky shown was dark, the twilight between sunset and night, and the air was crisp and shatteringly freezing. Cloud remembered the tang of winter from his time in Nibelheim ... but this was something _more_ than that. His ShinRa heritage should have shielded him from the worst of it ... yet right now, it wasn't. Cloud pushed the disturbing thought from his mind, and focused on the setting spread out before him.

There were about ten people assembled there - five of them wearing the same, thin white clothes Cloud was, the other five bearing darker clothes, casual clothes - like Austin. Cloud recognised one of the darker clothed men as Jase, the one who had brought him in from the plane to the hangar, and shown him to his room. Cloud didn't linger on him, instead letting his eyes fall to the others.

The first thing he noticed was that they were all older than him, and not just by a few years, either. The next thing he noticed, was that all those dressed in white were ShinRa - while of those dressed in normal clothes, only Austin was not Human.

"Hey, _guys_!" Austin greeted them cheerfully. "I've got our latest little student, right here! So, his name's _Cloud_, and I want you to all _welcome_ him to our little band camp!"

The ones dressed in white looked at Cloud miserably, while the Humans gave Cloud tiny smiles ... _sadistic_ smiles.

Cloud shivered.

"So, it's play time right now, and I want you all to get on really, really well! We've got a _big_ day, tomorrow! Stefaan's _father_ is coming to visit, and I want you _all_ on your best behaviour!" Austin's face was far, far too bright, far too happy.

Cloud didn't like it. At _all_.

Then, before he could do otherwise, he found himself being propelled towards the others. The ones clothed in white stood together in a huddle, and Cloud soon found himself joining them, grouped together for warmth. As he stood there, numb, oblivious, the never noticed the Humans - and Austin - moving away, and closing the door behind them.

"Cloud?" an unfamiliar voice drawled. "Your name's Cloud, right?"

Cloud broke away from the others, and saw that the one who addressed him was the tallest of the lot, and the most bitter by the sour look on his face.

"Yes," Cloud whispered. "I'm Cloud. Where ... where are we? How long have I been here?" _If I'm going to survive this, I might as know _what_ I trying to survive..._

"We're in the middle of nowhere, _that's_ where," another voice spat bitterly. The other three flinched away from him, revealing an old man with thin arms and legs, balding grey hair and narrowed eyes, the oldest ShinRa Cloud had ever met. "As for how long you've been here ... well, I'd hazard a guess at around two months, by the look of your arm."

Cloud frowned and his head jerked to where his left arm was still bared to the elements. He was swift to pull the flimsy fabric back over the gaudy collection of needle pricks, before looking up at the others awkwardly.

"What ... what's going to happen to me? Here?" Cloud was almost afraid to ask. But he needed to know.

The one who had asked his name, his eyes narrowed in distaste, answered.

"For you, who knows, but these people, they like being predictible. Think it inspires _fear _or something. There's a routine, see," he revealed nonchalantly, crossing his arms defensively. "a month down under, a month in here, a month down under, a month in here. Hard to say what's worse, really..."

"What's ... what's 'down under'?"

"Down under's what the Super's - that's Supervisors to you, don't ever call them 'Supers' to their face if you know what's right - call it when they hand us to the Doctors. A solid month, unconscious with them doing _fuck_ knows what. Here - lemme see your shoulder?"

Cloud frowned, but let the man pull his shirt down and to the side, enough that the mysterious lump could be seen.

"Yep, you're one of us now," the ShinRa said bitterly. "This, here-" he jabbed a finger in the direction of the lump, almost hitting it, but not quite, "-this is a mark of fucking _slavery_. It's how they control us. This here, it's designed to shut down the ShinRa in us. The strength, the resistance to heat and cold, the senses, everything. Not only that, but whenever we do something they don't like - like, say, _existing _- all they do is tap a little button and-" here, the man pulled a harshly pained face and shuddered mockingly. "Instant _ouch_. Not nice.

"I've been here a while, longer than anyone else, even the old Bitch over there-" he stabbed a thumb towards the oldest ShinRa, who sneered at him, "-and once, I saw a man kept under it for an hour straight cause the button jammed, and they couldn't stop. There was this woman, Janet - lovely girl - whose Chip went haywire. Gave her twice the shock it should have. Her nervous system was damaged beyond repair - paralysed from the waist down, I think it was. And there was also this one bloke-"

"Oh, Con, shut _up_. You're gonna give the poor boy _nightmares_," a feminine voice whispered urgently. There was only one female in the group of five - now six, with Cloud there. She was the thinnest of them all, and the palest. She had deep rings under her eyes, just like the rest of them did, but hers seemed more pronounced, deeper, than the others' did.

'Con' snorted. "As if they'd give us the chance."

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, almost against his will. He had shrunk away from Con, his arms instinctively going around his waist, trying to imitate some form of pitiful comfort.

"This room we're in, Cloud. It's another part of their games," Con told him, not even bothering to lower his voice. "Sure, they call us Wards ... but we might as well call it what it really is. What we really are: prisoners. They control _everything. _You don't even know it yet, but they do. You see, the whole time you're in here, the better part of a month ... we can't sleep."

Cloud frowned.

"What do you mean, 'can't sleep'?" Cloud enquired. "Of course you can sleep, there's nothing stop-"

"Oh, you can try, by all means. But see, that Chip in your shoulder - you so much as even close your eyes ... well, it's a bit hard to sleep when you've got fucking _electricity_ pouring through you, that's for sure."

Cloud felt his stomach curl a little in apprehension.

"B-But ... you said we're in here for a whole month?" Cloud paled a little. "They expect us not to sleep for the whole _month_?That isn't possible, they can't do that-"

"Oh, we get let out - small rests, power-naps, 'rewards' for good behaviour. The only other time we get let out of here, Cloud, is for counselling lessons. Therapy. _Brainwashing_. They let us out when we're half _dead_ from lack of sleep, barely in any condition to resist. That's why this place is so successful. That's _also_ why this place is feared so much. That much deprivation - it changes people. Most ShinRa are only here for a few months. Some, a few years. Either way ... you don't survive something like that without it changing your life."

"People who leave here are often obsessed with their rooms - in particular, their beds. Sleep is something truly precious to them," the woman was speaking, her voice soft and whisper-thin. "My brother was sent here when he was in his twenties. When he came back, he never let another soul enter his room under penalty of death. At the time, I was confused and unaware of what had happened. Now, I fear I was too harsh in confronting him."

Cloud was shaking a little. He staggered back a few steps, then fell to his knees, sitting on the tiled floor in shock. He drew his legs up, and lowered his head to them, but before he could do anything further, he felt a sharp jolt shoot through his shoulder, and he sat back upright with a gasp.

Con shook his head in disgust and turned away, while the woman looked at him with impossibly sad eyes, and the other three ShinRa merely watched impassively.

"How ... long have you been here?" Cloud asked the others at length, his arm shaking a little in aftershock. "How long will _I_ be here?"

"I've been here three months," the woman murmured. "I have another nine before I can leave."

"Fifteen years," the old ShinRa rasped. "And I can't leave 'til I'm dead." He wheezed out a dry laugh which collapsed into hacking coughs.

"Two years," one of the other ShinRa - with mousy brown hair and short limbs - said tonelessly. "I am nearing the end of my term. In two months' time, I will be freed."

"Three months, same as Kara," the other nondescript ShinRa muttered. Cloud correctly assumed that Kara was the woman. "But I've got a _year_ and nine months to go."

"Twenty nine years," Con spat. "My entire fucking life. I leave in a coffin, or not at all."

"How long am _I _going to be here?" Cloud asked again, his eyes shifting from one to another, begging - and fearing - for them to answer.

"Let me see your wrist," Kara asked softly, kneeling beside him. Cloud gave her his wrist silently, letting her examine the words scratched onto the slip of paper. There were a few letters and numbers scribbled beneath his name, which he hadn't understood earlier, but that Kara obviously did. He heard her gasp shakily, and pulled his arm back.

"What is it? Is it - bad?" Cloud cradled the arm that bore the bracelet, again resisting the urge to rip it from him.

"You're here until the Therapists announce that you have been reformed," Kara told him sadly. "You are here until they have rewritten every aspect of your mind." She lowered her face, and moved away. "You are here until you have been utterly and irrevocably broken, and remade into the person they want you to be."

Cloud closed his eyes and shuddered.

"Why were you sent here?" Kara whispered. Cloud noticed that she always spoke in a quiet voice, murmuring, sighing. He couldn't help but wonder why. "You are only a _child_. You should never have been sent to a place like this. What did you do to warrant such a punishment?"

Cloud licked his suddenly dry lips, and let his head fall forward a little, the tips of his spiked hair falling before his eyes.

"I loved." Cloud closed his eyes. "That's it. I _loved_."

"Who?"

"My mother. A Human."

"But ... ShinRa are separated from their Human parents at birth ... or at least, that's what I've been told." Con sounded curious in spite of himself.

"They still are," Cloud confirmed. "But ... my mother was - different. She escaped and raised me away from the Tower. ShinRa never knew I existed until a few months ago."

Kara stiffened and moved away from Cloud, just an inch, but noticeably.

"You ... were raised by _Humans_?" she whispered, horrified.

"Yes," Cloud replied fiercely. "I was."

Kara's eyes met his for the first time, and even before he noticed their calming, lilac-blue colour, he saw the anger in her eyes. Faint; muted ... but there.

And then, leaving him kneeling alone on the cold stone, she moved away, turned away, walked to where Con and the others watched him with distaste.

And Cloud found the remaining four weeks of consciousness to be very, very lonely.

The first time Austin came and led him to his Therapist, he returned, shaking, crying, terrified, his body numb from shocks ... but the others only turned their backs, moving away and suffering in silence, leaving Cloud to his own devices. Hours, days, _weeks_ passed. It all blended into nothing for Cloud; days of wakefulness - some with inescapable rain, some with unbearable heat, some with biting cold - broken only by visits to a rat-faced man with a plastic clipboard, and a small white remote.

On the day that Austin returned to take him to his room, Cloud was almost relieved when the heavy gas fell around him. He collapsed on his bed, fading into blessed unconsciousness.

Only to wake what seemed like moment later, and relive the entire ordeal over again.

* * *

**Next: **Part Three, Chapter Seven: Mirror. _Circumstances change when Cloud meets the new Ward. _


	16. Part Three, Chapter Seven

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Wow! You guys really know how to make a girl feel good about herself ... I woke up the morning after I posted the last chapter to find an inbox _full_ of reviews ... thank you all so much!

On the down side, I still haven't figured out exactly where the plot's going from here. I have a vague idea, but no solid day-by-day plot, so just bear with me for a while, 'kay?

**Warning: **There is a lot of swearing in this chapter. Just a _little_ warning.

**Review Reply:** _Is the new ward going to be Zack?_ I am thoroughly wishing I thought of that earlier. But no - it is not Zack. Zack won't be appearing until much later (he was supposed to be here back in Part Three, Chapter Four, but Reconditioning altered the timeline a little.) Never fear, my beloved readers! Zack _will_ be appearing, and he _will_ be his usual, bouncy, puppy-like self. Just ... not yet.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Mirror' and 'Never Alone' by Barlow Girl, 'Stand in the Rain' by Superchick, 'Burn it to the Ground' by Nickelback.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Seven: Mirror**

Cloud had been in Reconditioning for almost nine months. He was nearing the end of his fourth month in 'The Pit' (as the large, circular room was known) and his entire body thrummed with fatigue.

He was weakening, and it was showing. His face was thin and gaunt, his eyes near lifeless, and his once snug clothes hung off him dangerously. They _were_ given food during their months in the Pit - though lack of sleep soon overcame any thought of eating. Too tired to do more than lay there, shuddering in cold and pain, when Austin came he had to be nearly dragged to his therapist, for he couldn't find the energy to walk himself.

Cloud's therapist, Mayhem (he refused to indulge his real name), was tiny, quick minded, and cruel. During their first session together, he had asked Cloud what he thought of Humans. Cloud had answered with a imploringly long speech of kindness and love and peace. Mayhem had then taken him to a small viewing room with a single seat, and a video projected on the far wall. He had forced Cloud into the seat, fastened one wrist into a plastic hold to keep him there, then pressed the still image to play. What followed was a loop of a video, perhaps twenty minutes long, focused on a man. A Human.

He stood in the street, clutching a long sword slicked with blood, his eyes wide and bloodshot, red staining his clothes and the street around him. The video showed him killing - slaughtering - Humans and ShinRa alike, until finally one ShinRa danced forward and ran him through. The video played, over and over, the man's screams of anger and madness tearing through Cloud and making him flinch back in horror.

For once, he was glad he couldn't sleep; he knew he would have had nightmares, should he have ever closed his eyes.

Mayhem had then sat Cloud - shaking and pale - down, and asked him again what he thought of Humans.

Cloud had hesitated, then announced haltingly that they were not _all_ bad; that some were good, and kind, and loving.

Mayhem had dragged him back to the viewing room, sat him before a new video - this one of a pair, male and female, that held a bloodied and beaten child hostage - and kept him there for hours.

The child's pleading, his begs for mercy and release and _death_, haunted Cloud as he lay in the Pit, trembling in fear.

Every time he met with Mayhem, he was shown more and more images of cruelty and pain. Humans. And every time, Cloud would stagger back to the pit, and doubt would gnaw at him quietly, persistently.

What if he was wrong? What if ... what if Nibelheim was just, _different_ - that Humans in the "real" world really _were_ like that? Cloud had never been outside of Nibelheim; what news that filtered into the small town was rare and vague.

What if Humans really _were_ monsters?

_No, I can't think like that, I can't. What would Ma think? Ma is not a monster, nor is Gareth, or Tifa, or Johnny, or _anyone_. Not all ShinRa are mean ... I think. Just like not all Humans are kind. But most of them are. Most of them _are _..._ Cloud thought desperately, sagging against the stone wall and watching the stars dance above him.

Now, months later, he lay in a similar position, watching the overcast sky and dreaming of wings, of flying away and never coming back.

The days dragged on, monotony broken only by low moans of the other Wards, or by the buzzing of the door as _they_ came to grace them with food, or take them away. The nights were the worst, though. Long habit still had him thinking - believing - that when night came, so would sleep. Night was when their bodies ached the most from the stings of the Chip in their shoulders, as painfully bright lights burned their eyes and bodies.

The therapy lessons had progressed, for Cloud at least. Cloud no longer sat before a flickering screen and watched films of death and horror. Now, he lay on unbelievably soft tables, drifting into sleep, as Mayhem whispered to him tales of criminals and thieves and murderers. Sometimes, Mayhem would even let him fall into the realm of dreams, for an hour or two, if he answered the questions right. Now, Cloud was willing to do anything for those precious hours of respite; even play along to the man's sick game.

_They're not getting to me, they're _not_, I'm just pretending, it's not like I actually believe them, or anything ... _Cloud would think to himself as he whispered to Mayhem the things he wanted to hear. "Humans are wrong. Humans are evil. Humans don't deserve the glory of ShinRa. Humans are simple. Humans are stupid. Humans need us to survive. Humans are weak. Humans are pathetic..." The mantra went on endlessly.

There were still three days left before it was time to go "down under." His last therapy session had been the day before, followed with four hours - _four hours_ - of sleep. It had been like a breath of fresh air to his starved body. It was the first time in almost a fortnight that he'd had the strength to walk back to the Pit on his own legs. Austin had smirked at him as he buzzed the door open, and congratulated him in a loud, boasting voice - the man's never-ending cheerful manner grating on Cloud's nerves as always - before shoving him forward and closing the door after him.

It was sometime in the afternoon, storm clouds rolling ahead with rain that threatened to fall, wind that whistled overhead, but never touched the interior of the starch white Pit. Cloud lay apathetically on the hard floor, watching the sky as it rolled past, vaguely aware of lost time and the seconds ticking past. A thought drifted into his mind; his tenth birthday had passed some time while he had been here.

The thought did little to brighten his day.

Suddenly the door to the Pit slid open, but instead of the usual accompanying buzz, there was a deafening belch from a foghorn, rousing all of the half-conscious Wards from their thoughts and startling them to sit upright, whirling to face the door.

"Hello, _hello!_"

Cloud groaned, and fell back onto the dusty ground. It was Austin. It was _always_ Austin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please, _hold_ your enthusiasm!" Austin laughed to himself, and Cloud - hearing the echoing thumps that representing his fellow Wards joining him on the floor - muffled a groan at the sight they must make. "Now, today, my little ducks, is a _very_ special day! Can any of you guess _why_? Can you, _can_ you?!" Cloud could imagine the look in Austin's eye as he bounced a little, watched them eagerly. "Today we're saying good-bye to one of our very _dearest_ little buddies - but! Never fear, my children, for we have a _new_ little play mate for us to have _fun_ with!"

Austin paused, and Cloud heard the muffled tap of his leather shoe against the floor.

"Oh, come _on!_" Austin cried at length, finally stamping his foot. "Let's hear _some_ enthusiasm! Up an at-'em guys, we need you wide eyed, bushy-tailed and standing at atten-_tion!_"

Cloud gasped when the last syllable of Austin's demand was accompanied with a low-level jolt. He was given no chance to recover, as warm hands came from no where and grasped him firmly by his forearms, wrenching him to his feet. Cloud stumbled, but the stranger - one of the Human Supervisors - stood behind him with his hands clamped tight around his arms, and walked him towards the centre of the room. As he walked, Cloud's vision slowly cleared, and he found himself presented with a familiar sight, albeit with less participants than before, what with one of the Wards having been deported only two months after Cloud's introduction.

It was cruelly reminiscent of his own arrival at Reconditioning. Four ShinRa, standing in a tight huddle where they had been left, watched closely by four Supervisors, although this time Austin was not one of them. Instead Austin stood by the open door, his unlit cigarette hanging uselessly, and grinned at him.

"_Hey_ there, Cloudy-kins, how's it _going_? You don't look so hot, little guy."

Cloud couldn't find the energy to glare. He only sagged a little as he was moved to stand by the other Wards. Kara gave him a short, fleetingly sympathetic glance - he must look as bad as he felt - before the others drew her gently away, leaving Cloud standing isolated from them. He swayed a little. It was all good and fair for them; they were adults. As much as he was reluctant to admit it, he was a child, and he needed more sleep than they did as an unanimous fact. What sleep he _had_ been given - even though it was almost two times more than what the others got - wasn't nearly enough.

Austin continued to stare at Cloud for a few moments longer, before shrugging and letting his eyes brush over the other four ShinRas as well.

"Any_-way_, on with the show!" he clapped his hands together once and started pacing enthusiastically around. "Today is a very, _very_ special day, my little Wardies. Can any of you tell me _why_?" Austin paused, springing a little on the balls of his feet, but when none of the ShinRa's even moved to raise their hand, or give any indication of an answer, he sighed in disappointment and started his half-walk, half-skip once again. "Today, we are saying good-bye to one of our very _special_ friends - but! Never fear, my pretty pumpkins, for we have a _new_ little toy to play with! Kara! _Come_ here, gorgeous!"

Kara frowned a little, but stepped forward none the less, her thin legs shaking with effort. The moment she was in grabbing range, Austin snatched her arm and pulled her towards him violently. Kara was promptly sandwiched at his side, too weak to pull away.

"So, Kara, it's time for _you_ to abandon ship and head back home to - the _Tower_!" Austin spoke in a way that was not unlike the game show hosts that announced winners and prizes. "Please, hold the applause!"

The Pit was deadly silent.

"So, Kara, if you'll just head over to my man Davis over there, he'll give you a form to sign, and you'll be home free!"

Kara stumbled over to one of the Humans, who held out a white clipboard for her to scribble her name on. It was a contract all ShinRas signed before they left, to make sure they didn't speak of what happened there to anyone. It was also the only way out - alive, that is.

The moment Kara was done, Davis took her arm, and dragged her from the room. At the doorway, Kara turned to watch the others, smiling weakly - hopefully - at them, before she disappeared through another door, and vanished from their lives forever.

"So! Oh, come now, don't look like that, Cloudy-kins!" Austin smirked down at Cloud, whose eyes hadn't left the spot where Kara had disappeared. "Like I said - there's a _new_ little guy in town! And he _is_ little - just like you! It's a record, me thinks. I don't believe we've _ever_ had _two_ little monsters running around here at one time, have we Jase?"

Jase shook his head shortly and silently without meeting Austin's eyes. Austin looked a little put out at this, but continued anyway.

"So, without much further ado, I would like to present to _you_ - a little guy I like to call _Reno!_ Let's give him a hand, folks!" Austin moved to the side, clapping loudly. He was the only one; the others remained motionless and silent, watching as a figure appeared at the door.

It was a teenaged boy - tall, thin with vibrant red hair that spiked around his head and was pulled back into a long ponytail - that stepped into the Pit. He was already wearing thin white clothes, just like they were, and his skin was abnormally pale, which only made his auburn-red hair stand out even further. His eyes were a bright aqua, and he had red streaks on his cheeks, one under each eye, slightly puffy in a way that suggested the tattoos hadn't been there long. Cloud found it strange to see someone without hanging shadows under their eyes and desperation in their features. In fact, Reno seemed to be, not desperate or submissive as Cloud was used to seeing, but strong, meeting Austin's eyes without fear and stalking - no, _strutting_ - into the Pit. Cloud felt his eyebrows raise a little at the defiant figure the red-haired ShinRa struck. He could feel the surprise of his fellow Wards as well, though he didn't look at them.

"Reno, Reno, come _in_, Reno!" Austin beamed, spreading his arms wide as if in welcome. Reno stepped forward, though he didn't go to Austin. His eyes shifted to the other ShinRas, his eyebrows drawing together lightly when he saw the way they swayed in place. Cloud saw the flicker of apprehension in Reno's eyes before he forced it down, and his heart truly went out to the teenager. He had no idea what he was in for.

"Now, boys and girls, Reno is going to be here for _six months. _He has been a _very_ naughty little Turk in Training, haven't you Reno?" Austin looked down and to one side, where Reno was standing with his arms crossed firmly.

"So what if I have, yo?" Reno drawled, rolling his eyes at Austin and shifting his weight away from the Supervisor moodily. "S'not like you fuckers are gonna be able to change that. I am who I am, you can't make me do _nothin'_."

"Ooh, a _feisty_ one," the way Austin said it made Cloud shudder lightly. "We haven't had one of _those_ in a long time, have we boys?" Austin smirked at the ShinRas, who didn't answer. "Aah, it doesn't matter. He'll be broken in _weeks_. Six months is more than enough time. As I recall, it took that long to start _you_ on your path to salvation, didn't it Cloudy-kins?"

Cloud met Austin's eyes for the first time in weeks, and glared. Austin chuckled, then pat Reno strongly on the back. Reno didn't even flinch.

"Well, I'll leave you all to it, then! Everything goes on as planned, the lot of you go down under in a few days - I just wanted to introduce you to this little devil here-" he shook the hand he still hand clasped on Reno's shoulder lightly, "- before we all go nighty-night. So - I'll see _you_ lot in a few days! Ciao!"Austin waved heartily at them as he released Reno's shoulder with a light push, then beckoned to the other Supervisors. Within seconds, it was only the Wards left, standing silent in the white, lonely pit.

"So," Reno cocked one eyebrow as he ran his eyes over the other ShinRas. "Wha'did you lot get put away for, yo?"

The ShinRas didn't answer; instead, they stumbled back to their respective corners of the room, Con and the three other adults lying in a warm huddle to the right of the door, while Cloud dragged himself to the left, and wrapped himself into an air-tight ball. Reno watched them, his arms sliding from their fold, frowning.

"Yo, what's _wrong_ with this place? You guys are like fucking _zombies_ or some shit!"

No one answered him, and Reno's face hardened. He walked to the nearest of them, Cloud, and crouched down beside him. He tilted his head as he examined the half-conscious blonde. He didn't miss the way Cloud started each time he closed his eyes, whipping them open.

"Yo, blond-ino, what's with all the-" Reno mimicked Cloud, jerking his limbs madly, "-shit goin' on?"

"It's th' Chip," Cloud mumbled, his eyes unfocused somewhere above Reno's head.

"And what's 'the Chip'?" Reno asked, sitting back on his heels.

"It's ... how they c-c-control us," Cloud said, stuttering his words around a jaw-breaking yawn.

"You look wasted, yo," Reno commented bluntly. "Why don't you grab some sleep? You sure as fuck look like you could use some, y'know?"

Cloud laughed bitterly, breathlessly.

"I would if I could, trust me," he muttered, fluttering his aching eyes as he struggled to keep them open. "But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Cause if ... if I c-close my eyes," Cloud unconsciously demonstrated, earning another sharp jolt, "they shock me. All of us."

"Wha'do you mean?" Reno frowned.

Cloud reached for his shoulder wordlessly, pulling the fabric to one side and revealing the damning lump.

"This .... is the Chip," Cloud sighed, letting Reno look at it for along minute before letting the baggy fabric fall back over it. "It can hurt us, if they want it to."

"Yo, this is some _sick_ shit!" Reno swore, falling back onto the ground firmly and glaring first at Cloud's shoulder, then the door, with unadulterated hatred. "They don't have the fucking right to-"

"Reno, you can't do anything about it," Cloud interrupted him softly. "We have no power here." Cloud had resigned himself to the fact long ago. "It's better if you just do what they say. Trust me."

Then, to his surprise, Reno hit him. Hard.

"Ow - what the fuck? Reno!?"

"Don't speak like that. You fuckin' hear me? Don't you ever speak like that you bastard, don't you fuckin' give up! If you give up, then what fuckin' chance is there for me, huh? We're gonna get outta this, and we're gonna get outta this _alive_ and _whole_. I dunno what they put you away for - but I sure as hell know no one deserves this, yo. What-whatever _this_ is." Reno let his eyes fall to the other ShinRas across the room, picking up on their dark moods easily.

"Reno, why are you here?" Cloud breathed.

"What?"

"Why did you put you here? You're just a child."

"Just like _you_ are, yo, so don't you go patronisin' me, asshole!" Reno retorted sharply. Regret immediately flashed over his face, and he sighed. "Ugh - I'm sorry, alright? I'm just a little nervous 'bout this whole thing, yo. I dunno what kinda freaky brain shit they're gonna do, and it's kinda freaking _me_ out, y'know?"

"I know," Cloud smiled reassuring, the first time he'd smiled in months.

Reno lowered his head, and seemed to think for along minute before coming to a decision. "I was ... okay. When a Turk turns thirteen, they go through this kinda - initiation. It's like a coming of age thing, y'know? If you wanna be a Turk, you gotta be ruthless. You gonna be ... you gotta be cold, yo. If you wanna be a Turk, when you turn thirteen, they take you to this warehouse outta town, they take you to this kinda cell where they keep Humans - criminals - an-and they order you to ... kill one of 'em."

Cloud hissed in a sharp breath, pushing himself up onto his elbows, then quickly falling back down when he couldn't find the strength to hold himself up.

"_What?"_

Reno nodded solemnly.

"So, I was standin' there with this huge fucking _gun_ in my hands, and then one of the Turks comes up, draggin' some helpless woman behind him, forces her to her knees, looks me in the eye, and tells me to kill her." Reno closed his eyes. Cloud could see that the ShinRa was shaking. Planet, was he shaking. "Bu ... but I said no."

"So - they sent you here because of _that_?"

"Well - not exactly, yo," Reno suddenly chuckled, darkly. "It's not like some kid hasn't protested before, y'know? I ... well, I dropped the gun, so he picked it up, gave it to me, told me again, cold as ice - "_kill her._" So I took the gun and I ... and I ..."

"... you killed _him_. Didn't you?" Cloud whispered.

"Yeah," Reno moved so that his back was against the wall. He didn't meet Cloud's eyes; instead, his face was upturned, watched at the fat, rolling clouds above collapsed, raining down on them in heavy drops. Cloud could see in this light that the twin red tattoos on his face were puckered slightly, as if hiding wounds or scars. He couldn't help but wonder if Reconditioning wasn't the only punishment ShinRa had given the red-haired Trainee. "I did."

* * *

When the cold, miserable day had turned to night and the floodlights blared to light, reflecting off the drops of rain like diamonds, Cloud made an interesting, if completely useless, discovery.

The two had been sitting in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts, when Cloud noticed that Reno's breaths had slowed and deepened, and that his eyes had slipped shut.

"Reno?" Cloud whispered, dragging himself over to where his new friend lay limply against the wall. "Hey - Reno?"

But Reno didn't reply.

Cloud stared at the teenager first in frustration, then in understanding, then fascination. Cautiously, he gently pulled down Reno's shirt at the shoulder.

Nothing. There was nothing.

Panicking, Cloud shoved the fabric on the other shoulder down, too, and again found the skin to be smooth and untouched.

"Planet, you lucky bastard," Cloud moaned jealously.

Reno was _asleep_.

Cloud knew it wouldn't last; next month, after their time "down under," he knew Reno would have a Chip in his shoulder, too.

But, for now, Cloud watched in fascination as Reno twitched and muttered and _slept_. It had been so long since he'd seen someone sleeping that it was almost a novelty.

None the less, Cloud smiled, and gently lay Reno down. It had been so _long_ since he'd spoken to someone his own age, someone who understood. Cloud had told Reno why he was here - protecting, defending, essentially loving Humans. Reno, by default, was here for the same thing, too. It made Cloud feel ... not so alone any more. Even though Reno had stiffened, and looked at him strangely, he hadn't alienated him for it. He hadn't hated him for it.

It gave Cloud hope.

If Reno could accept him for it, maybe in time, he too could come to care for Humans, and not just in the standard "stop them from killing themselves" way that most ShinRa did. Maybe Reno was a new start, a new goal. If Cloud could get Reno on his side, together they could find a way out of the hell-hole that was Reconditioning; they could survive it, and they could return to the Tower and _save_ them; all of them.

They could stop ShinRa from destroying themselves.

So, Cloud lay and watched Reno sleep, and he hoped. He hoped that this boy - this Turk - would help him.

Because he knew if Reno didn't ... if Reno _wouldn't_ ... then no one would.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter Eight: All the Right Moves. _Cloud and Reno discover a way to beat the system._


	17. Part Three, Chapter Eight

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **My three year old sister "helped" me write some of this chapter, informing me that she was "older" and "bigger" than me, and that she'd show me how to write a "real" story. If she'd had her way, this chapter would have followed the lines of "Once upon a time, there was a large pink elephant ..." and descended into a world of bunny rabbits and talking cats. If I seem distracted during some scenes in the chapter, she would be why. It's rather hard to write quality angst when you've got someone covered in smudged-up chocolate and love-heart stickers snuggling up next to you. -.-;

And just to drop a bomb on you guys, school starts up for me again after two months of glorious freedom ... on Thursday. I'll be starting Year Twelve ... Form Six ... Junior Year, as I believe it is called in America (I'm not familiar with the schooling system in America...) As my father so gleefully informs me, it is going to be "fucking hard," which is never good for my update schedule ... but I will try! I regret not writing some of this in advance before I started posting, in case you haven't noticed by now, I'm typing (and thinking) this up as I go along. -Idiot-

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'All the Right Moves' by One Republic, 'From the Inside' by Linkin Park, 'Hero' by Nickelback. I was also chewing spearmint gum. :)

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Eight: All the Right Moves**

The first thing Cloud did when he woke up was check his shoe; always, to make sure the precious necklace his mother had given him was still there. This time was no different, and he sagged in relief when he felt the familiar lump under the sole on his shoe, untouched. They hadn't found it yet. If he had his way, they would never find it. It was his link to the outside world, his link to reality. He didn't know what he would do if he lost that. _Go crazy, probably_, he thought darkly, as he tugged his shoes back on. He had shifted the necklace so that it lay under the arch of his foot, so he didn't walk with a noticeable limp or risk crushing the gemstone under his weight.

A minute or two of lazy contemplation later, the door fell open - like it always did - and Austin appeared in the doorway, grinning predatorily. Cloud gave him a wary look, stretched his arms above his head briefly to work out the unused muscles, then stood shakily, and followed.

Cloud knew there were more ShinRas in the complex than he saw; there were enough rooms to hold many more than the five ShinRas Cloud ever saw, and somehow, Cloud knew they weren't all empty. He supposed they were on a rotation; while some "slept," the others were in the Pit, and vice versa the next month. Once, as he walked to the pit, he had even seen a middle aged woman with strawberry blonde hair lying sprawled over the ground of her room, a Supervisor just moving to haul her away.

Cloud had simply shuddered, and kept walking.

The thing that was different this time around, however, was that for once, he was looking forward to the Pit. Oh - not the sleeplessness, the therapy sessions, the pain and lack of hope. He could do without that any time. Today, though, was different. Today, Reno was there, waiting. Today, he wasn't going to be alone.

When they reached the Pit, Cloud ran through the open doors with excitement he hadn't had since he'd left Nibelheim.

He was the last one there, like he always was. Con and the other adults were sitting against the curve of the wall that was furthest from the door, silent, brooding.

Reno, in contrast, was standing a few feet from the door, smiling when he saw Cloud, but frowning when he spotted Austin.

"Hey, Cloud!" Reno greeted the blonde, his eyes wandering over the younger boy's face. Cloud looked much better now that he'd slept for a solid month, be it natural sleep or not. THe bags under his eyes weren't as pronounced, and his eyes were much brighter than they had been before. His complexion was a little less pale, too. He no longer looked like he was half-dead. Now, Reno would estimate around a quarter. It still wasn't good ... but it wasn't as bad as it had been before, either.

"Hey Reno," Cloud replied quietly, one arm crossed over his torso and rubbing the other gently, where Austin had held onto him as he walked him down the corridor. "How ... uh ... how are you?"

Reno gave the blonde a bitter half-smile, but didn't answer.

"Well then, I'll leave you two to it then," Austin interrupted loudly, patting Cloud on the shoulder deliberately and smirking when Cloud winced in a telling way. "Have fun, don't get into any fights with the other children, and I'll be seeing _you_, Cloudy-kins, in five days! Tootles!"

Cloud didn't bother to give any indication he'd heard; instead, he shuffled over to Reno and smiled hesitantly up at the taller boy.

"How was your ... sleep?" Cloud asked as they moved towards the place they had sat in before their month of forced hibernation.

"Painful, yo," Reno grimaced, sitting his his back slouched against the wall and his legs bent slightly before him. Cloud hesitated, before taking a similar position beside him, his hands cradling each other in his lap. "I don't think the gas put me all the way under - I've heard of it happenin' before with ane - anaesthetics, or somethin'. I think we studied it in the crash course for Medical."

"Medical?"

"Yeah, it's something you do when you've been in Training for five years, all the kids do it, yo. I mean, not all ShinRa are meant to be fighters, y'know? Some of 'em are geniuses at mechanical stuff, or medical, or science or computer or - whatever, yo. For a few months in fifth year everyone takes a few weeks trying all them out. They reckon 'bout a third of them go on to become specialised ShinRa - that's ShinRa that don't fight, but study to be scientists or doctors. The rest keep on going, and become SOLDIER's or Turks, yo."

"So ... you're going to be a Turk?"

"Yeah, I mean, I could've been a mechanic - Tseng, he's the Turk in charge of training us, said I've got the most potential he's seen in a long time - but ... I was born to fight, yo. I don't wanna spend all my time hunched over broken engines and fiddling with rusted old machines, y'know?"

"Hm," Cloud gave a non-committal hum, picking at his shoelaces absently.

"How long you been here, anyway? Must've been a while, for you not to know bout the Trials, yo."

Cloud couldn't help it; he winced.

"Uh oh, that can't be good," Reno eyed Cloud cautiously. "What was that, then? What're you hidin', yo?"

With a sigh, Cloud proceeded to tell Reno in a halting voice, hesitating, sometimes pausing for long minutes before continuing, his story. From Elena Strife, and her movements against ShinRa, to Nibelheim, Sephiroth, Nanaki, all of it. It was the first time he'd told his story - all of it - in such depth, to _anyone_. When he was finished, he swore he felt his shoulders lighten a little; it felt amazing to have someone else in the loop, someone else who knew what he did. Someone else he could rely on.

"Well, shit."

Reno spoke simply, in a tone that was both disbelieving and amazed, comical almost, so comical that Cloud laughed for the first time in months. The laugh was short, but it was real, and it made Cloud feel lighter, happier; freer.

"So, I take it that means you believe me?" he asked, a tiny smile still on his face. His cheeks ached a little; he hadn't smiled like this in a long time.

"_Duh_, blondino," Reno rolled his eyes. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, for one thing ... you're still sitting here," Cloud lowered his eyes suddenly, remembering the other Wards, and the way even they had ostracised him for his past. "All the others ... didn't wanna be around me anymore when I told them."

"Stupid fuckers," Reno said with conviction, glaring across the pit at them. "Don't listen to them, Cloud, they don't know what they're talkin' about."

"You ... you really mean it?"

"Course, you idiot. I wouldn't say something I didn't mean, yo," Reno smirked at Cloud, though it was less smug and more comforting than Cloud would have expected from the cocky Trainee.

"... thanks, Reno," Cloud said at length, raising his eyes from where they had been focused on nothing. "It ... really means a lot to me, that you still ... accept me, even though I'm not ..."

"Like the rest of us? Everyone's different, yo. If you want proof, look at me! I grew up in the same shit hole the rest of the Trainees did - but let me tell you, we're about as different as chalk and fucking cheese, yo. Some of those other kids, you wouldn't catch them dead saying words like "bugger" or "damn." Then there's me, who grew up in the same fucking _room_ as some of them! Doesn't matter where you grew up; odds are, even if you _were_ born at the Tower, you still woulda been different, yo."

"Thank you ..." Cloud sighed, smiling, then reaching up so his hand fell on Reno's shoulder in gratitude. He immediately whipped it back, however, when Reno gasped and tensed painfully.

"Oh - I'm, I'm sorry - I didn't know - didn't mean to-" Cloud gasped, lurching back and hovering over Reno, whose face was contorted in pain. Cloud reached out and gently pulled Reno's loose shit over his shoulder, exposing the small, red lump that was hidden under a surgical cut that had three tiny stitches. The cut was slightly inflamed, hinting that it wasn't as old as Cloud might have thought.

"Oh, Reno," Cloud sighed, brushing his fingers over the hidden Chip sadly before drawing away. Reno, moving stiffly, pulled the cloth back over his shoulder. "I'm sorry." This time, they both knew he meant something different.

"It's okay," Reno whispered. "We both knew it would happen some time, yo."

Cloud smiled sadly, and fell silent; there really wasn't anything he could say, nothing that would make it better.

Then, another part of Reno's tale was brought to mind.

"Reno ... when you said your sleep was ... _painful_ ... did you mean ..?"

Reno pulled his knees up so his elbows could be propped on them, then let his hands reach up to cradle his head gently, shaking almost imperceptibly.

"The anaesthetic they use, in the gas ... I read somewhere that it doesn't always work ... y'know what I'm saying?" Reno muttered.

"Reno ..."

"When we sleep, they take us outta our rooms, into a lab in another part of the buildin', or somethin'. I didn't see where; they taped my eyes closed, there was a tube in my mouth, I couldn't speak ... I-I couldn't move. I could hear what they were sayin', what they were doin'. They have - scientists, who test things on us. Like, products, weapons ... Cloud, when was the last time you looked at yourself? I mean, _really_ looked?"

"Wha-what do you mean?" Cloud frowned, thinking. The ShinRa in the Pit were released to the bathroom once a day, both to use the toilet, and for a quick shower. There was a single mirror in the stone room, where he could see a foggy rendition on his face, the image marred by cracks in the glass and mould growing in the dark.

"Cloud ... lift up your shirt."

Cloud met Reno's glowing eyes for a long moment, before lowering his eyes, and gently pulling the fabric on his shirt up, just above the base of his ribcage, crumpling the worn fabric in his hands. At first he saw nothing, nothing but pale skin untouched by sun, his hazed eyes unable to pick out anything different. Then, a spark of light glinted off something - something the exact same shade his skin was, hidden from his abnormally weak eyes - and his eyes snapped into focus.

Cloud's numb fingers dropped the ruffled fabric in horror, his eyes closed, and he leant forward, pressing his eyes into the heels of his hands, breathing short, quick, panicked breaths.

"Holy ... _shit_-" he gasped, his voice cracking on the last word, his fingernails digging into his forehead in a feeble hope that the pain would distract him from what he had just seen. Reno's hand fell down on his shoulder - the one without the Chip - and tightened gently, comfortingly.

His stomach - what he had seen of it - was an intricate web of fine white scars, interlacing and woven together in a network of hair-thin cuts that showed Cloud just how long he had been here. Breathing heavily, he lifted his shirt away from himself so he could glance down over his chest, and he had to fight back nausea when he saw the scars continued over his upper torso as well. Scrabbling almost desperately, Cloud snatched the hanging end of his three-quarter pants and pulled the leg up, his eyes combing the white skin desperately, sobbing when he saw that his thighs and calves, too, were decorated with fine white lines of healed skin.

Throwing the cloth back over his flawed skin, Cloud fell against the cold stone wall and closed his eyes, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through him at the motion, before lazily opening his eyes again. He didn't move, didn't feel the way his arm tingled viciously in the aftermath.

"Cloud, didn't you know-?"

"No."

"How-"

"Just - no."

Cloud trembled a little, and his head fell forward.

This place - it had changed him. At first, he'd thought that once he left, he could undo the damage they'd done, he could re-write himself to be the person _he_ wanted to be. He hadn't thought it would be forever. But these scars; they made it real. They made what these sadistic _bastards_ were doing _real_. They made it _forever_.

Cloud drew his knees up under his chin, folded his arms around his calves, and buried his face in the dark space he had created. He wasn't crying; somehow, he couldn't cry. He couldn't find the strength to.

Reno sat, quietly watching his new friend falling apart. Knowing that he was the reason; but also knowing that he was the only reason Cloud hadn't broken completely. If Cloud had found the scars on his own time, he knew there would have been nothing stopping him from disintegrating, giving in and letting the Supervisors and Therapists have their way with him. But Reno stopped Cloud from doing that, he knew that now. Reno was keeping Cloud together, holding the pieces of his blonde friend in place until the younger boy found the strength to do so himself.

Reno knew then he and Cloud, they were friends; Cloud was possibly the closest friend he'd found in all his thirteen years. They'd barely known each other a day, if that, but already they trusted each other more than Reno had let himself trust anyone else before. Cloud trusted him to keep him together, trusted him enough that he would tell his life story, tell him _everything_. Reno trusted Cloud to be strong, and show him that there was a way to get through Reconditioning whole.

Reno pat Cloud on the back, gently, knowing that under his hand and the thin fabric there were more scars, deeper than the ones Cloud had already discovered. Reconditioning wasn't just a chance to model ShinRa into the mindless followers _they_ wanted them to be; it was a chance for _them _to experiment, to explore their bodies and find what made them different, to build them up and make them better - stronger - than their counterparts in the Tower.

Sighing, Reno leant back and watched the sky move above them, counting the seconds as they passed, keeping one hand stationary on his friend's back, and thinking. Dreaming.

* * *

Cloud's first therapy session of that month, with Reno sitting beside him as Austin sauntered over, was somehow more daunting than the others had been, but also easier to face. Last time, he had been alone; he had left no one behind, when he had returned, there was no one waiting to comfort him. But now, this time, when he staggered into the Pit, Reno was there to smile and ask him how it went, telling him in a low voice to hang in there and keep going, silently supporting him, and shooting a wild grin over his shoulder when Austin turned to _him_ next, and ordered him to his feet.

"Keep smilin', blondino," Reno tossed back as he was led away. Cloud gave Reno what he asked - a small lift of his lips at the edges, a tiny crease in his cheeks - though the moment the door closed, Cloud fell back with a sigh, and his face melted back into a careful, expressionless mask he had built over the months.

The others weren't there; he guessed they must be off on their own therapy sessions. It was the first time Cloud had been alone in the Pit, and it - somehow - terrified him. For months now, just starting his eleventh month, he had never been alone. There had always been someone else there, even if they were on the opposite side of the room, even if they were half-comatose, delirious with sleeplessness, there had always been the soft sigh of someone else's breath, the restless shuffling, the tiny movements that had reassured him that he wasn't alone.

But, now, he was completely and utterly alone. It was night, now - not that it mattered - and as he moved to the space of wall he and Reno had affectionately chosen as their own, the sounds he made echoed annoyingly. Cloud slapped one palm against the wall, wincing as the noise resonated again and again. He heard a bird's call, through the immense gap in the ceiling, and let the refreshing sound wash over him. Still standing, one hand against the wall, he closed his eyes.

And when he opened them in reflex to the glance of pain he was given, he found that he was completely immersed in darkness.

His shocked - scared - gasp echoed, and Cloud cringed away from the noise it made, shrinking against the wall and huddling down into as small a sphere as he could make.

And, just like that, he was _there_ again.

He was lying, cold and wet, under a mountain of rubble. Tifa was there - she was shaking - he was shaking - the silence broken by their quick breaths and the moaning of the debris around them. He couldn't move; there was a shard of rock twice the size of him pressing against his back, he could sense the hanging wood and stone inches above his head, waiting to fall. Tifa's hand inched through the darkness and clamped tight around his, clammy with sweat and fear. Then stone above twitched closer, he heard something snap - it was about to fall, he knew it, he could feel the air grow taught with tension, he could feel Tifa's hands on him, pleading for him to save them, he could hear footsteps, as Gareth and Ma grew closer, their added weight only adding to the immense pressure that was bearing down on them.

Hands clutched at his face, his arms, he could feel something stinging his shoulder - a broken point of rock, no doubt, or twisted heap of wasted metal, pressing into him. He sobbed, and clutched Tifa's hands tighter, he could feel his lips forming words, pleas, but they weren't answered. There was a roaring sound in his ears, his blood was pumping so loud he could hear it, his cheeks were wet with tears and water dripping from above him, the darkness was _absolute_-

"_Wake the **fuck** up, Cloud!!_" a familiar voice roared, shaking him so hard he thought he might fall apart. Cloud screamed, tearing his throat apart in pain. He blinked, the darkness vanished, and he found himself staring into the turquoise eyes of - Reno.

"Oh - Plan - Oh, Plan-_et_-" Cloud gulped in mouthfuls of air, leaning his shaking head against the floor beneath him and releasing Reno's white hand that he had been holding into with both of his own. Reno's other hand had been tight around his shoulder - the one with the Chip - though now it fell away weakly.

Cloud raised his bleary eyes, his chest still heaving. He could see others gathered behind Reno - Con, the other ShinRas, and at least three Supervisors, as well as Mayhem, Cloud's therapist. All of them were looking at Cloud with ... well, he could hardly say concern, the closest any of them could come to _concern_ was subdued interest. Austin was sighing, clearly disappointed, while the other ShinRa looked disturbed, fearful even.

"Wha- what, hap-ppen-" Cloud stammered, unable to finish the sentence.

"It was an experiment, a pop-quiz, my little Cloudy-kins, and you _failed _it with _flying_ colours," Austin drawled, frowning angrily at Cloud - the first time Cloud could remember seeing a negative expression on the man's face. "We read in your profile that you have a phobia of small, dark spaces. So, we decided to test that theory. Or, at least, half of it. You really do know how to scream, don'chya little guy? Don't worry, though - we'll sort you out soon enough. It'll take time, and a lotta practise - but we can sort you out. Oh, _yes_." And then Austin's face stretched into a wide, false, _feral_ grin.

Cloud felt _sick_.

"I'm - I'm gonna-" was all the warning he could give, before he rolled to the side, and heaved. It was a dry retch - nothing came up, his stomach was too empty to oblige, but the feeling alone made him feel weak and vulnerable.

Then, Reno was there - rubbing his back, telling him it was gonna be alright. He heard the whispers of movement as the others drifted away, but only Reno remained.

"Cloud ... hey, you alright?"

Cloud couldn't speak; his throat felt raw. So, instead, he gave a small, tiny nod.

"What happened, yo?" Reno spoke in a low, urgent whisper as he helped Cloud sit. Cloud held his head in one hand, willing the dizziness away, fighting the urge to close his eyes; his shoulder felt just about torn raw from the constant shocking he knew he must have undergone, yet somehow not felt in his primal state of fear.

"I-" Cloud coughed to clear his throat, and continued in a rasping voice. "A-After you went, I was alone - there was - no, no one else in, here-" Cloud shuddered and stumbled his way through the words, knowing he had to tell the red-haired ShinRa before he lost his nerve. "Then - the lights, went out, I was alone, i-in the dark, and then - I was - _there_, with Tifa, in the _dark_-"

Reno, knowing the story Cloud had told him only days before, knew immediately what Cloud was talking about. The day he and Tifa had nearly died - for the first time, at least.

"Right, okay, so what happened nex-"

"My eyes were open, but I wasn't here - I was there - I couldn't see anything, I was just - gone. And then, next thing I know, you were there, and I was - I was back here, the lights were on, and Tifa - everything - was ... gone. Vanished." Cloud's story fell away from him, and he was grateful for the release; he had never felt such relief as the relief he felt when the burden was shared, when he wasn't alone anymore.

"Okay, okay, it's okay now, right Cloud?" Reno looked a little panicked, a little paler than usual. Cloud raised his head off his hand - with a little effort - and twisted around to meet Reno's eyes.

"I'm - I'm fine," he said quietly. "Thank you ... for getting me - out."

"It was nothin', yo," Reno smiled at Cloud. "Though for a moment there, I didn't think you were gonna _let _me get you out. But - for all that it was probably some of the scariest shit I've seen in my _life_ ... you _did_ give me an idea. Look - you said your eyes were _open_ ... but you weren't here, right?"

"Yeah," Cloud mumbled, shuddering a little in remembrance of the horrible vision he had lived only seconds ago. "I couldn't even hear you. It was like I was ... dream ... ing ..." Cloud suddenly caught onto what Reno was suggesting, and met his eyes, wide with astonishment. "Do you think it would work?" he whispered excitedly.

"I dunno - are the Chips triggered by our bodies actually closin' our eyes, or do they have a camera somewher-"

"Doesn't matter, if our eyes are open, they can't prove anything, right?"

"Right!" Reno's eyes were lit in excitement. The last five days had been an eye-opening experience for the Trainee - no pun intended. He, unlike Cloud, had never suffered sleepless days and nights, on end, before. The older ShinRa was energetic by nature, always moving, always talking, always thinking. As such, he had exhausted himself far faster than he should have, and in five days, he already looked worse than Cloud did after almost eleven months of it.

"How would we-"

"Meditation, Tseng is always going on about meditatin' and findin' inner peace and all that shit, it's supposed to calm the body down - if we meditate, maybe we can get into a kinda trance-"

"Reno, you are _brilliant!_" Cloud's eyes were brighter than they had been in a long, long time, his cheeks flushed with excitement, all memory of the living nightmare gone, lost in the discovery his red-haired friend had made. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Now now, Cloud, we don't want my ego to get too big, do we, yo?" Reno smirked, preening under Cloud's praise as he leant back on his heels smugly.

"Can't have that, can we?" Cloud grinned. "So - how do we-"

"Easy, I'll show you, yo," Reno took Cloud's hand and pulled him down, until they were lying side-by-side. "The only difference between this, and what Tseng showed me, is that _we_ have to keep our eyes open, yo. So - just try and focus on ... nothin'. Un-focus, or whatever. Clear your mind ... relax every muscle in your body ... slowly ... then ..."

Cloud soon lost himself in the drone of Reno's voice, growing lower and quieter. It was a fight to keep his eyes open, but long, ingrained habit kept them staring unseeingly at the dark sky, even as his mind sank into what could only be described as ... sleep.

* * *

A thousand miles away, a woman sighed.

The girl with dark hair was back, taking her hand and leading her, bringing her tasteless food and lukewarm water to where she sat in the gardens, surrounded by trees and blossoms, silent. There were faces, swimming around her - both new and familiar - their names lingering on the tip of her tongue. The sky was fading; it was nearly sunset. Soon she would have to leave, and fight through another dark age without the sun to warm her heart and body.

Footsteps. She turned, and saw a young man with hair like shadows, and face that reminded her of ... - _no ... it's _him_! He's here! He knows! It's _-

But when he spoke ... it wasn't him. Her heart fluttered back to life, and she smiled faintly in relief. The first time in a long time.

The man was speaking, but she couldn't hear his words. Soon, even his face melted from her vision.

All she could see was him, her life, her hope, her prayer for freedom.

All she could see was her precious little Cloud. Smiling.

Happy.

_Alive_.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter Nine: Breaking the Habit. _Progression and distance, fear and loss, time and poetic beauty where one least expects it. Cloud and Reno face their greatest hurdle yet ... _


	18. Part Three, Chapter Nine

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Does anyone reading this know of the children's program "Imagination Movers"? Having a three year old sister and a one year old brother, I know them very, very well. And I just realised that I accidentally based Austin off one of them ( ... only slightly more sadistic.) What with the mannerism of saying "little buddy" and all. I will _never_ watch "Imagination Movers" the same way again ...

This chapter took a but of a different spin that is was originally going to, but I think I still did okay ... or, I hope I did. This chapter alone spans about fourteen months (from the end of previous chapter to the end of this chapter.) I wanted to get things moving along, as I felt the story was starting to get a little slow ... anyway, I hope I did alright! Tell me if I'm writing shit, I can only improve if I know what's wrong! (Can you _feel_ that self-esteem?)

**Dedication: **This chapter is dedicated to my fellow Cat-Lady friend Angela who, while on holiday in China, brought me back a _Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children_ necklace in the design of dog-tags, with one of them moulded into the shape of the boar's-head-and-ring thingy on Cloud's clothes. Thank you so much! Even though I know you don't read this story, thank you! I will never take it off! _Never!!_ (Looks over at the necklace, sitting on the dresser.) Well, it's the thought that counts, anyway.

**Review Reply: **_So, Cloud's mom is alive? Did anyone else survive? _Maybe ... and maybe. (secret grin) There _is_ a reason I gave you that little scene at the end of the last chapter, it wasn't _completely_ random. There are a _lot_ of hints in there for the distant future. Bonus points to whoever figures them out! Until they come to light, however, I feel like being evil and leaving my ever-faithful readers to hang on the edge of that slippery little cliff over there for a few weeks. As a thank you for being so loyal, of course.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Breaking the Habit' by Linkin Park, 'The Kill' and 'Savior' by 30 Seconds to Mars. And, once again, I was chewing spearmint gum. Newest addiction. I've already bitten my tongue twice.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Nine: Breaking the Habit**

"_Keep smilin', Cloud."_

Those were the last words Reno had whispered to him, when his six months were up, and he was taken - dragged, forced - from the Pit, to the small military plane that waited to fly him back to the Tower. Cloud had watched him, moved so he could see the back of Reno's vibrant head until he passed through the door at the distant end of the corridor. Austin had stepped to the side, watching the emotions flutter across Cloud's face gleefully, with fascinated, sadistic interest, then closed the doors after Reno with a wicked smirk on his face.

It was like the world had closed back over him in that instant, that moment. Reno had been like a ray of light in the dark; he'd brought with him hope, a sense of normality, friendship Cloud hadn't experience since Nibelheim. Yet, even then, Reno's friendship seemed so much more that the ones he had had before, for he felt a kinship with Reno he had never felt with Tifa or Johnny. ShinRa, he realised now, he and Reno were both _ShinRa_; Tifa and Johnny were _Human_. He had never before appreciated the difference; never before realised the difference at all.

But now wasn't the time to be thinking such thoughts, Cloud reminded himself as he knelt against the cold wall, alone for the first time in half a year. He needed to be thinking positive, like Reno always said.

_"Chin up, blondie, you can't see the sun with your eyes on the ground, yo."_

Chin up - Cloud tilted his face to the sky, and even managed a small smile when he saw the perfect, fluffy white clouds that hung there, his namesake. Elena - Ma - had told him when he was

_"Don't be afraid to have your head in the clouds, Cloud. If you dream hard enough, you can pretend your flyin'."_

Since when was Reno so _smart?_ Cloud's smile deepened as he remembered all the little quirky sayings the red-head spouted. Cloud had called him up on them once, asking if the mysterious Tseng Reno often spoke of had said them. Reno had replied that Tseng came up with some of them - but the most were his. He had had a lot of time to think, he'd claimed, spending most of his spare time in detention for the way he spoke, mimicking the shows they'd watch on TV, or the way he acted, with his clothes ruffled and hanging out, or the way he never paid attention in class, yet still managed to get top marks.

Cloud lowered his eyes and swallowed painfully. It would be hard without Reno, he'd always known that as the deadline grew closer, but it was so much harder to live the reality than anticipate what he couldn't imagine. Reno had been what kept him together, he'd reminded him what he was fighting for, what he - they - were aiming for.

Reno and Cloud had sat in the Pit, and held many long, deep conversations. It was in those conversations, stolen in the hours between therapy sessions and quick little open-eyed naps, that Cloud had officially made his first convert. It hadn't taken long to convince Reno that Humans were worth protecting, that ShinRa were in the wrong, that all they were doing by promoting self-importance, was tipping the scales, bringing an inevitable revolt. Cloud himself had spent the long months before Reno alone, plotting, imagining, thinking ahead. Realising that all the ShinRa were doing by saying they were the better race, by forcing Humans to comply to them ... was encouraging _war_.

Cloud could see clearly, Humans weren't falling for ShinRa propaganda any longer, they were starting to question their motives. Gaia and Wutai might be enemies, on the brink of the war themselves ... but soon, they would realise they held a common enemy, and that the enemy of an enemy is, in fact, a friend. With Gaia _and_ Wutai against them, ShinRa wouldn't stand a chance.

But trapped here, in this stone prison, Cloud couldn't do a thing against it. He couldn't do a thing to stop it.

He could see them, in his mind's eye. He could see devastation, he could see death and fire - the same fire that had consumed his hometown, the same fire that had consumed his life. He could see ShinRa, standing in perfect formations, facing hundreds, thousands, _millions_ of Humans. ShinRa wouldn't go down without a fight, but Humans were far more plentiful than ShinRa, if they couldn't win through skill, they would overwhelm with sheer numbers. It would be bloody, it would be disastrous. Thousands would die, ShinRa and Humans alike. Innocents. Well, not all of them, if the videos Mayhem showed him were anything to go by. But still ...

_Jeez, when did I get so _morbid? Cloud thought bitterly. _I'm eleven years old, for crying out loud, and I'm sitting here predicting the death of an entire race. _My_ race ... _

The only way to stop it, to stop ... _this_ ... was for Cloud to make the ShinRa see, to make them realise what they were doing, and stop it. If he had enough influence, if he had friends in high places who saw what he did, maybe they too could help make a difference. Reno was the first step - the Trainee was surprisingly close to Tseng, the young Second in Command of Turks, partner of Commander Verdot, and member of the ShinRa Council. If Reno could somehow convince _Tseng_, maybe Tseng could convince Verdot, who, in turn, could start teaching Trainees ... or even his fellow Council members ...?

It was finally starting, Cloud realised with a smile. He was finally starting to make a difference ... well ... kind of.

But first, he needed to get _out_ of here.

He and Reno had started devising a plan. Reno was sure to get out; he had been given a set deadline, six months, just long enough to give him a bit of a scare, a reality check, enough to "set him straight." Cloud had been sentenced to an indefinable amount of time; he was here until Mayhem - and Austin, and all the others - deemed him ready.

So all he had to do, was _convince_ them he was ready.

Reno and Cloud had decided the blonde ShinRa would continue as he already was for a month, dragging his feet, moaning, protesting, still claiming that Humans were just as important as ShinRa, and so on and so forth. He didn't need the rewards of sleep; he got just enough sleep as it was, with his small, open-eyed slumbers in the Pit, his eyes glazed over and staring at the roof unfocused. He could go without the extra "treats" for a time.

Then, Cloud would appear to slowly - reluctantly - conform to their ways. He would, at first, start agreeing with them, as he had been starting to before he met Reno. Then, he would start supplying his own information, even a little enthusiasm. Then, he would start eagerly rising to meet Austin as he came, he would start engaging Mayhem in conversation, he would start watching the videos with fascinated interest, he would start _thanking_ them for the sleep he earned, the list went on.

They key to all this, however, was that it would all be an act. Cloud knew that before Reno came, he had been starting to follow this path already, not as an act, but for real. Reno, however, had set his path right; this time, he would follow their guidelines on _his_ terms, the way he should have the first time.

The Turk that had bought him here, he had told him of people who had resisted Reconditioning before; now, Cloud could see how they had done it. They had _pretended_.

Cloud had never really needed to pretend, act or lie before. He and Reno had practised a little, and Reno had informed him he had room for improvement - a _lot_ of room for improvement - although he had the makings of a reasonably good liar, what with his huge blue eyes and the blonde stereotype already giving off an aura of innocence before he even opened his mouth. Cloud only hoped that in time, his acting skills would develop into something to complete the illusion he would set out to create.

Because if this didn't work ... he didn't know _what_ would.

* * *

_Eight Months Later_

Vincent walked up behind the ShinRa - tall, proud, young and successful - who could only be considered a step-son of some sorts: Sephiroth. They were standing on a long, open balcony a few stories from peak of the Tower, looking over the city. It was dusk, everything thrown into deep shadows and red-golden light. There were no birds flying, nor mammals roaming the barren plains surrounding the city; there hadn't been any wildlife to speak of near the city of Midgar for centuries.

Vincent moved so he stood beside the silver-haired ShinRa, watched him for a moment, then followed his line of sight out to the fog of pollution that shaded the homes and buildings below them.

"It's been two years." Sephiroth suddenly spoke up. "Since we sent him there."

"The bo-"

"His name is _Cloud_, and you _know_ it," Sephiroth turned to give the man an accusing look. "You can't call him 'boy' forever."

Vincent propped his elbows on the metal railing, letting his hands hang limply. His eyes were focused some place in the distance, ignoring Sephiroth blatantly.

"To call him Cloud would imply he _means_ something to me. He. Doesn't." Vincent finally spoke up. His eyes still hadn't shifted from the blurred horizon.

"He is your _son_, and you _let _them send him - _there!_" Sephiroth spoke through gritted teeth, fighting to contain emotions he'd kept hidden for years. Ever since the day he let them ... "You _know_ what they do there, we all do, you _know_ what he's gone through, what he's still going through, I can't believe you allowed them to-"

"Careful, Sephiroth," Vincent growled, moving back from the edge of the balcony and finally facing Sephiroth square, looking down the scant inches so that blood-red eyes met acid green. "You're beginning to sound like he did. Crazy. Unstable. _Irrational_. It really would be a shame to lose a Council member to _them_, wouldn't it?"

"I don't - I don't _sound_ like him! But whether or not he sounds crazy, he is my _brother_. Look, I _know_ I can't be seen to interact with him, not publicly, not after what has happened, but that doesn't mean I can't still - _help_ him form a distance," Sephiroth slapped one hand down on the thick metal pole that separated the pair from the huge distance between them and the ground. He had been thinking on this for two years, now. He knew what he wanted to do; blood was blood, and it meant more than anything else did in the Tower. "He should _never_ have gone there in the first place, we overreacted, I _know_ we did. The Turk Trainee was a different matter entirely - he was only there half a year. Cloud is only a child, no one his age could ever deserve something like what we-"

"Then you'll be pleased to know he's coming home."

"_What?_" Sephiroth blinked at that, surprised. His hand fell away from the metal railing as he turned to face Vincent, who was standing the sliding glass door to his spacious apartment.

"The report came in this morning, it was supposed to be revealed this evening at the meeting. Cl - _the boy_ has been declared reformed by the psychologists. He'll be coming back to the Tower in a week, after his assessments and recovery time."

"You're ... he's been ..." Sephiroth felt, to be honest, a little put out. For two years, he'd been certain they had sent Cloud to his death; he was sure the blonde ShinRa would hold up far longer, he was _sure_ Cloud would resist every effort made to rewrite him, and that in the end, he would spend his entire life resisting those people. In fact, he'd partly been counting on it. Cloud was refreshing, in a way. He was different. He was proof that not all ShinRa were heartless, as Sephiroth was beginning to imagine as his career progressed.

Cloud was proof that he himself did not need to be heartless as well.

But to learn that Cloud was no longer different ... that he was now just one of the crowd ... it was disappointing. Somehow, Sephiroth had blamed Cloud for the strange thoughts he'd been harbouring the last few months, but now that Cloud was just like the others, he had no way to find what these thoughts meant; Sephiroth had intended to confront Cloud, ask him what those thoughts _meant_, what they led to ... but now ...

"He has been Reconditioned, completely and irrevocably," Vincent confirmed, his eyes revealing no pity as he watched the edges of Sephiroth's eyes crinkle suspiciously, though the rest of the silver-haired ShinRa's face remained immobile. "The reports say he has made a full turn about, perfect in every way - possibly one of the most successful reformed ShinRas the Reconditioning Clinic has ever seen. You should be proud of your brother, Sephiroth. From what I heard from his teachers during his initial stay here at the Tower, you have a real prodigy on your hands."

"_You_ should be proud of your _son_," Sephiroth retorted in a low voice, successfully hiding his dying hopes inside with his smooth, deep tone. "Maybe now he'll be _worthy_ to hold that title, hm?"

"Maybe," Vincent agreed neutrally. "The day grows late. By my watch, the hour for dinner has already passed. If I may take my leave, I think I'll order room service tonight. _Alone_." Vincent moved aside, clearing the path to the door in a clear dismissal; even though both Vincent and Sephiroth were fully qualified ShinRa, and both members of the esteemed Council, it was obvious to both of them who was considered to be the superior one.

Sephiroth moved past Vincent, ignoring the glowing red eyes that followed, his fingers closing over the metal doorknob hard enough to leave tiny indents.

"I've told you once, I'll tell you again: you should be _careful_, Sephiroth," Vincent warned him for the second time that night. "Thoughts can be dangerous things. You never know what might happen ... or what you could lose."

Sephiroth didn't answer, didn't make any indication he'd heard the raven-haired ShinRa. He closed the door roughly behind him and stalked his way to the elevator, slamming the small round button for his floor. There was one other occupant in the elevator, a tiny little thing - Human, female, about elbow-high, with huge, memorable glasses. She squeaked when he entered, cringing against the opposite wall as Sephiroth's unchecked and uncontrolled emotions filled the elevator in a tangible force. When the doors opened with a chime and Sephiroth raced out, the woman couldn't have been more relieved.

_I can't act like this, Vincent is right - I have a place on the Council, I'm a First Class SOLDIER, I can't afford to _think_ like this, or the next thing I know I'll be stuck in some lowly stake-out post in Gongaga. No, when Cloud comes back - that's it. There's no point in continuing like this, torturing yourself with "what-if"s. This is the way the world is - learn to live with it, Sephiroth. Or the world will leave you behind._ Sephiroth nodded to himself as he collapsed on the longest couch, ignoring Genesis' coy questions and Angeal's quiet, concerned tone.

A door to opportunity - to freedom, to living life the way it was supposed to be lived - that had been creeping open the past two years, swung shut firmly. With it, the journey ahead was doomed to be a thousand times harder, more dangerous and difficult that it would have been ... had Sephiroth not lost hope in his brother.

Had Sephiroth not lost hope in Cloud ... things would have turned out to be very different indeed.

* * *

Cloud walked down the corridors, a look of awe and excitement on his young face. To all appearances, he was eager, empty-minded and naive. Inside, however, he was laughing bitter, ironic laughter with a hopeless, tired expression lingering beyond his mask.

_"If you believe you can do it, you can, yo. I know I'm soundin' like those cheesy motivational guys that come 'round every so often - but it's true, yo. Keep it up; you can do it. Just keep smilin'."_

Cloud sighed, glancing at Austin quickly and straightening his shoulders, keeping them tall and proud. He couldn't let his guard down, even for a second, or he would be torn apart. This he knew, with all his heart. And that was why he kept on going; because to stop now would be suicide.

Cloud had grown good at acting, the last eight months since Reno had left. When Reno had said Cloud had the makings of an expert liar, he hadn't been trying to make Cloud feel better. Cloud had found his skills improving dramatically after only a matter of weeks. He'd grown good at pretending, at figuring out what _they_ wanted, and playing that part to perfection. He'd become an expert at smiling when his heart was breaking. He'd become a master of watching cruel, heartless deeds with a face eager and hungry even while, in his mind, he was crying.

He had become very, very good at _lying_.

Cloud had never found a need to lie before; at least, not to the scale he was now. At home, back in Nibelheim, the most he had ever had to lie about was whether he'd taken an extra helping of dessert, or whether he had crept over to Tifa's during the night. Those were meaningless lies, harmless. The worst that would ever come from those was a grounding, a hard glare, a few extra homework assignments and a stern telling off.

But now, lying to _these_ people, to the extent where he felt that every breath he took wasn't real, where he felt that the air he breathed wasn't his, he knew if he slipped once - _once_ - he could be trapped here for a very, very long time. It wasn't like when Ma would shut him in his room for ten minutes to "think about what he had done." Here, it was forever.

They had _made_ it forever.

Following Austin, Cloud glanced down at his wrist, where one of the numerous thin white scars _they_ had left was showing. He twitched his sleeve down over it, making sure his face didn't break or give away his change in attention. They were entering the crossroads Cloud had glimpsed on his entry to Reconditioning. _I understand why they shudder when people mention Rec ... the name ..._ Cloud thought, remembering the Turk who had given him advice on the flight over, and who had helped him hide his most precious belongings in the hangar. _I hope it's still there ... _

In the pentagonal room there were three doors, minus the corridor which lead to what Cloud could only describe as "The Outside World." One door led to the room - cells - and the Pit that Cloud had occupied for just over two years. Another door, Austin explained, led to the scientists' labs, where they performed "harmless enquiries" and "curious experiments" during their time down under. The third door, the middle one, led to what Austin referred to, in his ever-cheery voice, as the Recovery Clinic.

"After all, Cloudy-kins," he chirped as they stepped into a bland reception area with a glowing fish tank in one corner, "we _can't_ have you going back to class when you've barely slept for a month, now, can we? You'd barely be able to keep your eyes open, huh little buddy?" Austin smirked around the unlit cigarette that hung from his lips, like it always did, and cocked his head to one side, as if daring Cloud to contradict him.

_And whose fault is that? _Cloud was tempted to retort - but he didn't, couldn't. After all, the Cloud _Austin_ knew would never say something like that.

"Nah," Cloud shook his head, consciously pitching his voice to make himself seem more childish and innocent than he felt he truly was. "I wouldn't be able to learn a _thing!_"

"That's right, Cloud, spot on!" Austin smirked, gesturing for Cloud to precede before him into another corridor off the reception. "Now, you'll be sleeping in a _real_ bed for the next few days-" the enthusiasm Cloud expressed at this announcement wasn't faked; it didn't need to be, "-and then before you go, you'll be taking a few tests, just to see where you're set academically. Then we'll give you a few shots, check to see you're all healthy and growing, and away we go! Sound good, little buddy?"

_Shots? Immunisation, I hope. And I really don't like the sound of that "check" he spoke of. _"That sounds _awesome_, Austin!" Cloud beamed. "I hope this time 'round I'm with a group of people my age - being with the little kids wasn't really that fun."

"Of course not, Cloudy-kins, of _course_ not," Austin pat Cloud on the back and led him off the short corridor they had entered, this time into a wide, clean room with a large inviting-looking bed, a chest of drawers and a wooden desk-and-chair set against one wall. Cloud looked at the bed longingly, and didn't hide the exhaustion he felt threatening to overcome him. "You looked buggered, little buddy. I'll leave you to it then, huh? Buzz this-" he gestured to a small black button and intercom next to the light switch on the wall, "-when you wake up, or if you ever need any help, yeah? Someone'll be here in a blink. M'kay?"

"Okay, Austin," Cloud smiled over-enthusiastically up at the other ShinRa. "I still can't believe I'm going _back_ ..."

"I know, buddy, I know," Austin seemed almost nostalgic as he smiled down at Cloud in his bright, too-wide way. "But, put it this way - now, you can sleep whenever you want! Just not in class, okay bud?"

"Okay," Cloud repeated again, moving an inch towards the bed and hoping Austin got the hint. Luckily, the ShinRa did, and soon Cloud was along and floating on a slice of heaven, as he slept - truly slept, not the drug-induced sleep he usually suffered, or the open-eyed sleep he had mastered over the months - for the first time in two long, long years.

* * *

James was a complex man, he'd always known this. His emotions had always been confusing - personal beliefs clashing with his cool, professional work face - and his personal life was tricky, juggling a failing daughter, nightmares of faces - the people he'd killed - and paperwork they, as Turks, never seemed to find time to do during work hours. When he was twenty five, he suffered his first mental breakdown, resulting in the death of another, a colleague ... followed promptly by a brief visit to one of the the ShinRa's darkest secrets. Reconditioning.

Now, his old job in tatters from his year-long absence, his new assignments were simple. Ferry the hopeless to the Clinic, and the fearful back. Watch them, carefully, for the ones that had escaped their lessons, install fear into the ones who were just beginning, calm them if they were too panicked to think coherently, subdue them if they became hostile: all in all, keep them harmless and docile during their journeys to and from Hell.

For years, he had maintained a cool exterior - he had knocked out many a ShinRa, he'd calmed numerous hysterical women, he'd watched countless staunch SOLDIERs collapse into tears and cry out in broken voices. He had kept his mask, he had kept his act up, and he had kept them all thinking that he was just another one of the crowd.

But all that had nearly been destroyed, it had all _nearly_ been for nothing, when he'd met the tiny, blonde mystery called Cloud Strife.

His mask had been broken for the first time in years. He found himself revealing to this small boy what he hadn't spoken of since he had _left_ Reconditioning. He found himself comforting the boy, in the exact way he'd wished someone had comforted _him_ that day so many years ago.

Now, he had been called away from his monotonous desk work once again to ferry another lost soul from the Reconditioning Clinic. As he leant back in his cheap office chair and flipped open the file, he choked on the sip of coffee he was taking, and sprayed the lukewarm caffeine over the glossy picture of a widely smiling, bright-eyed Cloud.

_Oh, no _... he couldn't help but think, brushing drops of smudging coffee away and looking down into the boy's shining eyes, shining in the way they hadn't when he had last seen the child. _Not you, please .. d__id they get to you? Or did you escape, like I did? Please ... you're too young to become another of their puppets ..._

James sighed; he'd known this day would come, when the boy, Cloud, would fall to their lies. He just hadn't thought the day would come so soon.

* * *

It was his last day before he was due to leave. Each night of sleep felt like a blessing to his starved body; he gladly fell into bed well before his curfew, and he took much pleasure in sleeping well past the usual time to wake. It got to the point where either Austin, Jace or another of the Supervisors would have to come and haul him out of bed hours past breakfast, with Cloud moaning and resisting the whole way.

But ... it was worth it. With the immense hours of sleep he was clocking in, the shadows under his eyes were finally starting to fade away, his eyes were starting to shine as they used to, his cheeks lost their unhealthy pallor. He started eating regular meals, delivered by the stoic, silent Jace every morning, noon and night, and soon his stick-thin limbs were starting to finally gain a little weight to them. His tattered clothes of before were replaced with newer, cleaner ones - still of the same, thin white design, but sewn of better quality and smoother fabric than the ones he had before. Cloud only managed to keep his shoes - and the necklace hidden in them - through a small tantrum of sentimental quality, claiming that he might never see Austin again, and the shoes would be all he had left to remember him by. Austin had looked entirely too pleased at this, and allowed him to keep the slightly run-down sneakers, much to Cloud's relief.

Three days into his week-long recovery, he was led to his desk, where a small pile of test papers sat heavily. Cloud was directed to sit before them, handed a cheap plastic pen, and instructed to complete them by the end of the day. They were standard tests, ranging from the simplest questions to others that made his head spin. He completed the ones he could, and only hoped that this time, he was admitted into an age group more suited to his academic ability; although he, technically, hadn't been to school in two years, he still had much of his old ability, even if it was a little rusty.

Today, one day away from leaving the hell of Reconditioning forever, Cloud was due in the scientists' lab for a few scans and tests ... a few "shots," as Austin had called them ... and, Cloud hoped, an opportunity for them to remove the Chip that was still buried in his right shoulder, stinging him whenever he moved said shoulder too quickly or rubbed the intrusive lump against something the wrong way.

Austin stepped into the room, not bothering to knock, and smiled at Cloud excitedly.

"This is it, Cloudy-kins! The big _day!_ You excited, little guy?" Cloud wasn't given time to answer before Austin continued. "Follow me, buddy!"

Cloud followed Austin, a false smile plastered thickly over his face, skipping just Austin did every few steps. Austin noticed this, and his smug grin widened.

Once in the science lab, a white, sterile room with multiple metallic beds lined along the linoleum floor, Cloud was instructed to lie on the nearest "bed" after having shrugged his thin shirt off. The metal was cold, and Cloud shivered when his bare back settled against the hard, silvery surface. A scientist loomed over him, smiling in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring, yet wasn't. He held a standard injection needle in one hand, tapping it lightly for air bubbles before plunging it into his right shoulder swiftly. Cloud barely even flinched; his eyes were closed, one lip worked furiously between his teeth as he felt the strange, bloated feeling that filled his arm before it faded slowly.

"What was that?" he asked, surprised to find his voice a little more slurred than usual.

"Anaesthetic," the scientist said as he snapped a paper mask over his mouth and reached behind Cloud to pick something up. Cloud opened his eyes when he sensed the presence looming over him, and his heartbeat picked up when he saw the suddenly close face of the Human scientist.

"What fo-" Cloud began to ask, but before he could say anything else, the scientist's hand came back into view - this time holding a long, thin scalpel. "Wh-What's that for?" Cloud's mask fell for a moment, and he cursed himself silently, though luckily no one present - the scientist, a female doctor standing by the door or Austin leaning against the bed next to his - found his sudden nervousness strange.

"You didn't think the Chip was gonna get itself out, did you Cloudy-kins?" Austin smirked, turning so Cloud could see the slightly-sinister smile that crept across the older ShinRa's face. Austin plucked his cigarette from his lips and let it hang from his fingers instead, watching with unnerving eagerness as the scientist's hand lowered.

Cloud's eyes widened just before he felt something tugging at his shoulder, right where the Chip was. Cloud grimaced and closed his eyes again, tighter, so he wouldn't be tempted to see what exactly what was going on down there.

The slow picking went on for a few minutes longer, and then suddenly, warmth flooded back into Cloud's body, a warmth he hadn't even noticed was gone the last few months. The metal beneath him was suddenly a thousand times rougher, a thousand times colder, each sensation was tenfold more intense than it had been before.

Cloud had forgotten what his senses - taste, sight, smell, _touch_ - had been before he received the Chip, which had somehow dulled them to something less than even a Human's. His new sensitivity was somehow so extreme that it was almost painful, the intensity with which he now perceived the world. He could feel every vibration under his twitching fingers, sense the quick, excited breaths of the others in the lab, hear their heartbeats, the shifting of material as hey moved restlessly.

_How had he ever lived without this?!_

Cloud took a deep breath, deeper than he'd taken in a long, long time. He felt so ... _alive_.

"How do you feel?" The mask was pulled away as the scientist moved away, dropping the slightly bloodied scalpel and a dark, brown object about the size of a thumbnail into a waiting tray. There was no warmth in his voice, no concern or worry that usually accompanied such a question. The query was instead cool, professional, distanced; uncaring.

"I feel ... amazing," Cloud pushed himself up so he sat with his legs flat along the metal bed. "I feel so ... _so_ ..."

"I know, little buddy," Austin came over, slapping a hand down on Cloud's shoulder, right where the Chip had been before. Cloud, by instinct, cringed in anticipation of the pain he was - subconsciously - sure was coming. But, instead of the numbing shock that usually followed such a movement, there was only a dull, tearing ache, like a bee sting, or a wound that had caught on the fabric of a shirt.

"The Chip - it's not there!" Cloud remembered to cry enthusiastically after a heartbeat of hesitation.

"Of course, Cloudy-kins, we would _never_ let you return to the Tower with one of _those_ in your shoulder, now, _would_ we?" Austin tightened his hand, non-relenting even when Cloud cringed. When Austin's hand finally lifted away, Cloud looked down to see the cut in his shoulder, about half an inch in length, a handful of neat stitched lining the red, slightly inflamed skin.

But beneath the skin, there was no longer that slight lump he had grown only too used to seeing. The skin was deflated ... flat ... _normal_.

Cloud felt such a profound relief in that moment, he thought for a moment he might be content with life for the rest of his years, safe with the knowledge that it was gone.

The Chip, the demonic creation that, as Con had described to him on his arrival, had enslaved them to their keepers ... was _gone_.

* * *

**Next:** Part Three, Chapter Ten: Night of the Hunter. _Cloud returns and life at the Tower continues - though this time, it is wrought with secrecy and illusion. The last chapter of Part Three closes on a familiar face. _

_Edit: 12/4/10  
_


	19. Author's Note Two

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Author's Note: **(sigh.) I tried, I really did - ask any of my friends, I was writing when I should have been listening in class, I was writing when I should have been studying, I was writing when I should have been copying notes: but I just couldn't finish the chapter! I tried to complete it today, Tuesday, but _again_, I am far from where I need to be in order to finish the chapter.

I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience, school has been piling work onto me - in addition to my ever wishful parents, thinking I can complete both homework _and_ a month's worth of chores in two days. My legs are in _pain_.

Anyhow, in order to make up for the let down (and also to apologise for forgetting to reply to your reviews for the previous chapter ...) I will be giving you guys a little spoiler: the name of the Fourth Part of this story.

_Re-Cap: _

Part One: Elena Strife

Part Two: Childhood

Part Three: ShinRa in Training

_And now..._

Part Four: Knowing Zack.

And now that you sufficiently hate me for leaving you with _that ... _I will take my leave.

Until Monday, beloved reviewers...

~Red


	20. Part Three, Chapter Ten

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **This is the third time I've re-written this chapter. It just wouldn't agree with me. :( Anyway, sorry for being so late! I hope it meets your approval ...

Some of you may have noticed I have taken down my old story, "One Chance." I am not proud of that story. I have progressed far since writing that, and I deeply regret letting that story see the light of day. It was an OC-Centric story, much more so than this fanfiction, and not just because many of the "OC"s in this story are actually Canon characters, simply never acknowledged - for example, Abei is a Canon Character, though I'm willing to bet barely anyone knows about him.

Anyway, the OCs in "One Chance" were undeveloped, cardboard-characters whose personalities were poorly defined and changed from chapter to chapter. What research I _had_ done was poor and incomplete, it was a blatant self-insert in the disguise of a Mary-Sue, and I hate it. For all that it got me confident in Fanfiction, and helped me progress my writing style ... I still hate it.

So, for the poor souls among you who read it; don't go looking for it again. It's gone, and if I get my way, it's never coming back. I've been torn between letting it fester and taking it down for quite some time now, and have only just made the decision to weed the garden once and for all. Now I can get over myself and look _forward_, instead of focusing on the past.

Also, although I am willing to bet none of you have any desire to know this, my older sister has just moved out to go to University down south and study law. This means I get her old room! Yay! It also means I have to go through her old stuff and get rid of it. Not so yay. I never knew it was possible for one person to own so many pairs of shoes. I've also found a rather broad collection of ... interesting ... items. I won't go into detail ... but let's just say, whatever shred of innocence I had left has been thoroughly and utterly destroyed. Thanks, Sophie. (painful smile.)

**Music Listened to While Writing: '**Night of the Hunter' by 30 Seconds to Mars, 'Some Say' by Sum 41, 'I Don't Care' by Apocalyptica, 'Last to Know' by Three Days Grace. The last two songs have no reference to the actual chapter, I just really like them. :)

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Three: ShinRa in Training**

**Chapter Ten: Night of the Hunter**

The flight back to the Tower was a far more pleasant ride than the first time he'd been in the cramped plane, Cloud mused silently. Episodes similar to the stunt the staff at Reconditioning had played - with Cloud alone in the Pit, the lights off and the night dark and forbidding - had been played, and although they hadn't cured his claustrophobia, nor his fear of utter darkness, they _had_ taught him how to better control his own body, how to conceal his fear and keep it subdued. The first time in the plane, Cloud had been too terrified of what was to come to be nervous; by the time he consciously noticed his surroundings, the ride had already been over.

This time, Cloud sat opposite the bored-looking Turk - James - who had been the one to ferry him _to_ Reconditioning in the first place - with almost perfect compose, despite the rising fear he was quenching inside. His eyes darted around the cylindrical cabin, clutching his repossessed backpack tightly - wary of his surroundings, yet not so much that he was paralysed with fear. His mind was clear; he could think, and remember, without hindrance.

He remembered, for example, how James had seemed somewhat relieved when Cloud casually bent down and scooped up the tattered bag; Cloud later realised that James had been worried that Cloud _had_ fallen to the therapists' and Supervisors' ways, and been brainwashed beyond recognition. The first moment in which he had realised this, Cloud had panicked, thinking that James would be reporting him to his superiors, and sending him back _there_ only moments after he'd left. But, when the door closed and the plane rattled as the engine started, James had shot Cloud a tiny, fleeting wink, and Cloud had known that his secret was safe.

Cloud jiggled his knee, the only physical sign of his stress that he allowed. He felt a slight dampening on the back of his shirt, and knew he was sweating. The cabin just seemed so ... _so_ ...

So small. Too close. He had no way of knowing if they were up or down, left or right, if they were headed into a storm, or headed in the wrong direction. The total loss of control scared Cloud, a little. He clung tighter to the bag and buried his face in it, letting the fixed mask fall away the moment his face was covered.

"So ... you made it out?" James' voice was quiet, near silent: Cloud wouldn't have been able to hear it before, when his senses had been dulled by the mysterious Chip in his shoulder. Now, however, he had no problem hearing his fellow ShinRa.

Ever since the Chip had been removed, Cloud had spent nearly every moment marvelling over some new aspect of life he had rediscovered. At night, the warmth of his sheets was tenfold, more comforting than ever, and when compared to the bare, cold nights in the Pit, Cloud felt he could be in heaven. The grooves on the pencil he had held as he sketched quietly were revealed beneath his fingers like mile-wide canyons. He once spent four straight hours sitting at his desk, with his chin propped on crossed arms, staring out the glass window and the beauty that lay on the other side: trees, shrubs, flowers, long weedy grasses, a forest of beauty. Cruelty didn't belong in such a place, he couldn't help but think. Cloud's eyes had traced the beams of sunlight, tiny beetles and ants that marched along, the reflections of spider-webs in beads of dew on leaves. He had felt he could spend forever sitting there, watching, listening.

Snapping himself back to the present, and the Turk's question that still hung in the air, Cloud took a deep breath, fixing his mask in place and rising to face James again.

"Made it out of _what_?" Cloud asked politely, making sure his voice was pitched just-so. He widened his eyes consciously, and let them glow a little, until they literally shone with innocence.

James smiled.

"You'll make it, don't worry," he reassured the blonde, as if Cloud had answered differently and that in the silence had confessed his deepest fears that he would be found, and that the game would be over. "With a face like that, you'd fool Verdot himself."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cloud met James' eyes squarely, fighting the urge to laugh. There was just something about James that made him feel ... confident. It was as if knowing that there was someone else - an adult - who knew what he was doing, and knowing that they were _encouraging_ him, made it much easier to carry out.

James lowered his eyes, his grin widening a little, but he made no comment, knowing that Cloud wouldn't blow his cover, and also knowing that it was probably for the best: after all, if Cloud could fool someone who _knew_ he'd "made it out alive," he would have no problem tricking people who, in truth, would only see what they wanted to see in the first place.

The rest of the plane ride was made in silence, with Cloud quietly moving objects from his bag to hide across his person, under his clothes - the photo of Tifa, Johnny and himself stashed up his sleeve, Ferg's old goat collar tied around his thigh, a baby chocobo feather threaded horizontally behind his belt, his mother's stone pendant returned to it's rightful place around his neck. His fingers closed around the old card pack he and Johnny had played with so often, and as he briefly rifled through them, he remembered the Jack of Spades that he had bid Johnny keep, until Cloud returned home.

"_I'm gonna come back someday, anyway. This can be my promise: when I come home, you can give the card back to me. We'll play the best game of Speed _ever_."_

"Johnny ..." Cloud whispered silently, closing his eyes and ignoring the questioning look James shot him.

"_You're coming back?" _

"_Of course I am," Cloud forced a laugh. "I wouldn't lie to you. Not at a time like this."_

_I wonder what's happened to him, now?_ Cloud thought, feeling the plane shake beneath him; they were approaching Midgar, as the pilot informed them over the intercom, and despite clear skies and bright sun, there was a brisk wind fighting them, making the landing bumpier than usual. _Did he make it out alive? Did he - they - survive? _Cloud pressed his fingers into his eyes after driving the last item of the bag - a carved wooden jewellery box small enough to fit into the palm of his hand - into his pocket. _Naki said the smoke could be seen for miles and miles, all the way from Cosmo Canyon, and that's _ages _away. It's been thousands of years since Mt. Nibel last erupted. But ... how ... _

Cloud shuddered, and after two years of hard denial, finally drew his courage together and faced what he had always, somehow, known deep down. _There was no what they could have possibly escaped in time. We had the helicopter, that's the only reason we made it out in time - no one in Nibelheim owns any cars. You can't outrun lava. Maybe ..._ he shuddered. _Maybe they didn't make it. Maybe they didn't get out in time. _

The plane touched down. Cloud barely noticed, lost in his thoughts as he was.

_Maybe they're not alive after all. _

"Hey, kid, we're here," James touched Cloud's shoulder lightly, drawing the blonde from his increasingly violent thoughts gently. Cloud raised his head, his mask snapped on in an instant - although the smile _was_ a little smaller than before. He threw the now-empty bag into a shadowed, forgotten corner of the plane and stood as James did, following the man to the single door. He stood woodenly, watching in a sort of detached existence as James spun the release and pushed the air-sealed door open. A rush of wonderfully cold air flooded in as James jumped the small distance easily, stepping to one side to allow Clout to do the same.

Cloud's feet hit the hot airstrip lightly with unconscious grace, his body on auto-drive as he was ushered across the tarmac to a Check-In building in the distance, the reflective glass squatting at the edge of the tall, dirty city of Midgar. The two-hundred-year-old Plate could easily be seen from the this angle, as could the gloom and dark of Lower Migdar, the city _beneath _the city. Cloud remembered how Elena - Ma - had once lived there for years before she met Cloud's father. He remembered the way Elena had shuddered; in distaste, perhaps, in memory. _It's always dark in Lower Midgar,_ was all she had said when he asked. _Always_.

The airstrip itself ran vertically along the western edge of Midgar, and was used mainly by ShinRa - the Human airstrip was in the east and was noticeably smaller, used only for small passenger planes and a few courier aircraft; most of the commercial and international flights were hosted by, of course, ShinRa. Cloud stood in the air-conditioned, high-ceilinged room listening to a uniformed SOLDIER talking rapidly, processing none of it. His realisation, his admission to what he had vehemently denied for years, had shaken him deeply. It took all his strength to keep his mask - his lie - in place.

He was led to a new room, empty along with the accompanying "Common Room," and told by a distant voice to wait for someone to come. All the while, his eyes were unfocused and glazed. All the while, he was thinking, over and over in an echoing taunt ...

_Maybe they're not alive after all..._

* * *

Cloud had spent almost an hour in his room - hiding his treasures, marking out where his new clothes and necessities were, lying on his impossibly soft bed and staring at the ceiling in numb horror - when someone finally came for him.

A Wutian Turk dressed in an immaculate suit, with his hair pulled into a high pony-tail and a tiny drop of red paint between his eyebrows, introduced himself as Tseng. The name sparked a memory, and suddenly Cloud remembered all the scattered short stories Reno had told him of the stern, yet gentle instructor that had, over the years, become the closest thing Reno had to a mentor, or perhaps an uncle.

The image Reno had drawn of the Wutian ShinRa was of someone who was brilliantly smart - sharp, yet modest - who believed more in peace than many SOLDIERs, who were supposed to be the _bringers_ of peace. Tseng was one of the few people Reno said to have ever been wrongly assessed as a child. When a ShinRa is five, at the beginning of the school year, the once collective group is tested, then divided into the two main groups that are known all throughout the world as Turk and SOLDIER. Tseng had the heart of a SOLDIER - a _true_ SOLDIER, one who honestly _cared_ for Humans as if they were his peers - but had been trained to think and act as a Turk. With his warm charisma and exotic looks, his hard-working attitude and muscular body, Tseng had soon risen to become the youngest Council member in history.

Cloud smiled hesitantly - not all of it a mask - up at Tseng as the Turk assessed the blonde's new quarters. Cloud was once again bunking alone in a new environment, just as he had been before he'd been sent to ...

"You're name is Cloud, yes?" Tseng asked, watching Cloud's face intently. Cloud nodded, keeping a vacant look on his face, even as he quietly examined the Turk before him. Reno had said he would try to "convert" Tseng to their way of thought, but there was really no way to tell if he had been successful or-

Tseng moved forward, one hand outstretched in welcome. Confused, Cloud met the handshake hesitantly, and his eyes widened when he found something square and solid hidden in the palm of Tseng's hands. His eyes darted up to meet the Turk's almond-shaped and -coloured eyes, and he was taken aback by the sudden mischief he saw sparkling there before it was whisked away.

"Reno has told me all about you," Tseng remarked quietly, gripped Cloud's hand firmly, making sure the blonde had a good hold of ... what ever it was ... before letting go. Cloud, confused as the apparent need for secrecy, casually slipped the square, mysterious object into his trouser pocket, shoving both hands into both his pockets just to be sure.

Then, what Tseng had said finally filtered through to his conscious mind.

"_All about you" ... that means he knows about the Humans! And what I'm doing, and what me and Reno are fighting for! And if he hasn't reported me ... that means Reno _must_ have convinced him! He _must_ have!_

"That's funny, he told me a lot about you too, sir," Cloud beamed up at Tseng, wincing at how ... _hollow_ his words sounded, what with him fighting so hard to keep his sudden excitement out of his voice that he had unintentionally suppressed all emotion - fake or otherwise. Tseng winced too, but only a little, and Cloud couldn't help but wonder if the Turk was used to hearing such voices from the other ShinRa too.

"On the reason as to why I have been ordered here," Tseng suddenly changed topics, straightening his back and hardening his voice to a more formal setting. Cloud blinked in metaphorical whiplash as he struggled to keep up with the abrupt subject change. "Your classmates are currently at their lessons, so in the meantime, I have been volunteered to assess your skill in physical classes, as well as start your training schedule."

"Schedule?" Cloud allowed his curiosity to slip through; after all, children his age were curious all the time ... weren't they?

"Yes, due to ... extenuating circumstances, your sword and hand-to-hand skills are far, far inferior to what they should be for someone at your age level. For this reason, you will be taking one-on-one lessons with both myself and Scarlet in the place of the usual morning training sessions, until further notice. Understood?"

"Understood, sir," Cloud lowered his face, still running his hidden fingers along the grooves of the mysterious object he cradled in his palm.

"Good. Now, follow me, and we'll start our first lesson ahead of time, while we wait for your classmates to return," Tseng gestured for Cloud to follow him, and the blonde did so silently, always staying a few steps behind the Turk as he was led down a maze of corridors, finally reaching the empty Training Rooms a few minutes later. The mats in the centre of the floor were faded a little more than what Cloud remembered, a few wooden practise swords had been left out, and there were a few new exercise machines group in the far back, along with a new floor-to-ceiling mirror and a few wooden bars.

But, all in all, it hadn't really changed at all.

"Here, take off your shirt and follow me," Tseng instructed Cloud had he shrugged off his jacket and kicked away his shoes and socks. Cloud froze.

"... Cloud?" Tseng asked, quieter. "What is it?"

Cloud looked down at his smoky grey shirt, fingering the hem hesitantly with his eyes glued to the inch of his wrist that could be seen.

He had frozen - terrified - for two reasons. The first being the most obvious: his mother's necklace, hanging for all to see around his neck, an artefact he was sure would be taken away from him if they ever found out he'd kept it. After all, Reconditioning was supposed to have _cured_ him of any emotions or lingering attachments to Humans; he would have been hard pressed to find a suitable answer as to why he was wearing a necklace from one of them, not to mention one they had never noticed before.

But, perhaps it was the second one - the second _reason_ - that gave him the most fear.

He was constantly being reminded - constantly being forced to remember - the marks Reconditioning had left on him. His past. His _scars_.

Tseng was still waiting - however patiently - for his answer, and Cloud silently berated himself for falling into his thoughts as he had once again.

"I - I'm sorry, sir," Cloud said, in a quiet voice that was more himself - his true self - than he had been in months. "It's ... it's just-" Cloud couldn't bring himself to say the words, so instead, he curled his fingers around the loose fabric of one long-sleeved shirt, and gently pulled it away, his eyes fixed on Tseng's cultured face.

Tseng's eyes widened at first - in shock, in horror, in dismay - before narrowing into sharp, unadulterated anger.

"_Cloud_-"

"Forget it," Cloud said, his voice finally falling into the anger and depression he had hidden since the day Reno left. "You'll find them on Reno, too. On all of us, anyone who's been to ..."

Tseng was silent also when Cloud trailed off, somehow fearing to say the name "Reconditioning" aloud; they both knew what he was speaking of, anyway.

Tseng appear to be fighting a battle, hesitating and thinking deeply, angrily, before his shoulders finally slumped.

"Alright, keep your shirt on," Tseng told Cloud quietly. "I'll write a memo for Scarlet, and all the other instructors in case she or I aren't there. Alright?" Tseng's voice was unbearably kind, and Cloud nearly broke at the sound of it.

Nearly. But he didn't. Instead, he threw on his mask like one might a cap or shoulder bag, grinned falsely up at Tseng (who looked somewhat taken aback by the sudden change in Cloud's expression) and answering joyfully,

"Okay! Can we start now?"

* * *

Cloud soon found training with his shirt _on_ was both hot, and inconvenient - Tseng's hands kept catching on the loose fabric, and they ended up spending almost half of the lesson untangling Cloud from the various holds the Wutian Turk was demonstrating.

But, as he left the Training Room panting and shining with sweat, Cloud still felt it had been a productive lesson. He'd learnt three different types of blocks, the proper stance for a sturdy defence _and_ attack, and he'd completed almost four laps of the vast room - an accomplishment in itself, when judged by the fact that he'd had little to no exercise other than walking for over two years.

He was halfway back to his new rooms - having retrieved the instructions from Tseng before he left - when he remembered the tiny, mysterious device Tseng had slipped him back in his room.

Glancing around to make sure he was alone, then slipping into an alcove formed by the corridor leading to a janitor's closet, he crouched in the shadows and pulled the object from his slightly clinging pocket, brushing away a fleck of lint.

It was ... actually, he didn't know what it was. Whatever it was, however, it certainly looked impressive, high-tech and sleek; black and silver, streamlined buttons, a softly flashing pale yellow light at the top. Cloud had never seen such a thing before, but be supposed it must be something along the lines of what Reno had described to him as a cellphone - something that had never before graced Nibelheim, but for the ShinRa personnel that he himself was never permitted to see, and thus something Cloud had never come across before.

Curious, Cloud slid the screen upwards to reveal a larger keyboard, with letters and numbers and arrows littering their surfaces.

The screen lit brightly, and Cloud jumped a little. When he had adjusted to the light, he leant forward and squinted at the words scrawled across the bottom of the screen.

_Calling: Dial-1, Sexy Ass._

"... _what!_?" Cloud whispered in disbelief. _Only Reno ..._

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Reno's face appeared in the tiny screen, beaming proudly.

"I knew you could do it, blondie!" he whispered excitedly, staring straight into the camera - and straight into Cloud's eyes - fondly. "I _knew_ you could do it, yo."

Cloud smiled, a genuine smile that felt alien and foreign on his face.

Suddenly, everything seemed so much brighter than it had before.

* * *

Cloud walked back to his rooms once again, the cellphone - specially designed for ShinRa, with the option of super-sensitivity so the ability of hearing voices far below the normal register could be employed, as well as using far less brightness for the screen - now securely in his pocket. He and Reno had spoken only for ten minutes - discussing when they could talk, how things had been going, the fact that yes, Tseng _was_ on their side now. Cloud had never felt such relief as when Reno had told him that he was okay; that everything was going to be okay.

One part of their conversation stood above the rest, however.

"_You're like the little brother I never had, yo," Reno drawled, grinned comfortably at Cloud as he shifted the camera a little. _

_Cloud's heart stopped. _

"_No - not a brother. A ... a-a cousin, or something, just - just not a brother. I ... okay?" Cloud had to swallow painfully to manoeuvre around the dry lump that gathered in his throat. _

"_Okay," Reno smiled sadly at Cloud, now understanding the pain his friend was feeling. "You're like the _cousin_ I never had."_

Cloud lowered his eyes a little, letting no other sign of his discomfort show. There were a few people around - as well as a few fish-eye camera lurking in the high corners, he could hear the high-pitched hum of the electricity feeding through to them - and he didn't want to give them any room for suspicion. Oh, his mask would eventually fall, but gradually, so that the change was believable. His excuse, if asked, would be that his dreams of Reconditioning were bearing down on his, or that memories of his past were creeping onto him. Something along those lines.

He paused at the door to the Common Room, hearing the faint sound of voices beyond the thin wood. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the questions, the interrogation, the flocking of people and the crowding of his personal space. There were, as with all the other years, about twenty SOLDIER Trainees, compared to the approximate nine or ten Turk Trainees accepted every year. Twenty new faces to learn and memorise. Twenty new faces to lie to.

Having been accepted into the class one year above him - Year Nine when he should have been a Year Eight - he would be the youngest and smallest of them all. Really, the odds were truly against him should he ever aspire to try and fit in.

He reached out and wrapped his hands around the cold metal, pulling it towards him sharply.

The wave of noise washed over him tenfold than what it had been before, and he cringed a little - only as much as the mask allowed - before plunging into the fray bravely.

Slowly, the prepubescent twelve years olds slowed their crazed movements through the room, and turned to face him. One stood before the other, drawing Cloud's sight the way none of the rest did.

And as the door swung shut behind him, all he could see, all that filled his vision, were a pair of luminescent, deeply violet eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Do you hate me yet?

**Next: **Part Four, Chapter One: New Beginnings. _Life in the Tower has never been more complicated. _

_Edit: 12/4/10  
_


	21. Part Four, Chapter One

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Okay, okay, I _know_ I'm later than usual. I had an assignment due on Thursday, a test on Friday, two tests on Monday, a test on Tuesday, found out I had _another_ test on Wednesday (which I didn't know about until Tuesday afternoon), two tests on Thursday _as well_ as a dentists' appointment, _**another**_ test on Friday, a shit-pile of homework to do, and it is now a compulsory chore for me to spend at least two hours every night working on the farm, and act which usually leaves me covered in horse shit (literally speaking...), meaning any outdoor work must be immediately followed by an hour-long shower drowning myself in vanilla-scented shampoo. Not only that, but it took me literally five times to find a version of this chapter that I liked. Can you really blame me for having this chapter out a _little_ later than normal? (insert puppy-dog eyes here).

Heh, I can't stop loling ... only in New Zealand would they actually change _all_ the term and school starting/ending dates - for ALL the schools (Primary, Intermediate, Secondary...) across _THE ENTIRE_ country - so that the holidays correspond with the finals of the Rugby World Cup in 2011, so the children too can go see the All Blacks play at Mt Eden._** LOL!!**_

Hm, I've decided to add a "Lyrics" section to this part, to describe the changing relationship between Zack and Cloud. I may or may not be continuing with this for the rest of the story; it depends if I can find enough lyrics to last!

**Information: **Some Canon Characters in disguise are popping up around about here. One is obvious: Kunsel appears, obviously as Zack's best friend. However, Zack's other friend, Lux, is actually a Canon Character as well. "Lux" is short for "Luxiere," (I couldn't be bothered spelling his full name out each time he shows up) who is a SOLDIER, Second Class from the Final Fantasy VII game Crisis Core. Go look him (and Kunsel) up; it might give you a bit of a clue about what's gonna happen. I've based a lot of the minor characters' story lines on summaries left on sites like Wikia, so if you wanna know what's going on, go check that out :).

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'New Beginnings' by Future World Music, '12419: Poetic Texts' by My English Teacher (The "Does This _Ever_ _End_?!" Edition), 'Indelible' by Brooke Fraser. And just because it's an awesome song, 'To Be Loved' by Papa Roach.

**Lyrics:** _For t__he first time I see your face, everything else around me will fade to the background. And I'll be struck full by the truth in your gaze as you work an Indelible change in me ... _-Indelible by Brooke Fraser.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter One: New Beginnings**

The oatmeal was soggy and a little grey, congealing in indescribable clumps near the edges of his bowl, inseparable even by his firm metal spoon. Cloud felt the questionable breakfast mirrored his life perfectly. He moodily stabbed at one of the lumps, glaring at a half-dried raisin and silently cursing his classmates.

He should have expected this. How had he not seen this coming?!

Cloud allowed himself one more sigh, then straightened his back and let a small, false smile slide into place. No one had seen his lapse in concentration; this he knew, because ever since he returned to ShinRa Tower, no one had paid him attention. No one at all.

In some ways, this was better than it had been before; where the children had once taunted him and poked fun at him, sneered at him from across the room and looked down on his for his "inferior" childhood, now they looked the other way, they did not scorn him for having a different upbringing, they didn't tease him for being different.

But in other ways, this was so, so much worse.

At least before, he had known that they were aware of his existence. At least before, he knew that someone noticed him. At least before, he could be sure that he was real. But now, when he had no one to wish him good morning, no one to smile at when the teachers fumbled, no one to slip notes to or share his meals with ...

The Tower seemed a lot lonelier when he had no one to bear it with.

Oh, sure, he had Reno - but Reno couldn't be there every hour of the day, he couldn't sit with him at meals or lessons, he couldn't even be seen in public with him for fear that the survival of their friendship from Reconditioning gave their instructors hints that they may have, in fact, survived the mind-washing. He could only exchange hurried calls with him in the locker rooms, or hold quick video-conferences in bed at night after an exhausting day of training and learning. His conversations with the red-head grew fewer and shorter as his lack of sleep grew more and more pronounced, until finally, it came to the point where Cloud only called Reno once a week, on a Saturday, and even then they only spoke for a brief half hour.

Cloud could honestly say that, even compared to Reconditioning and horrors he had endured there ... his life had never been bleaker.

At Reconditioning, Austin had been there almost every day, to smirk and laugh at him, to lead him down the corridors to Mayhem, who would spend hours lurking in his mind and tinkering with what he found there. Then Reno had been there, almost constantly, whispering encouragement and helping him along.

Now, Cloud was ostracised completely from his peers, from everyone. His instructors during written lessons only paid attention to him when an answer on his quiz or assignment was wrong, and he was asked to correct it on the whiteboard at the front of the class; the longest he spent with anyone was Scarlet, his physical training instructor who spent a full three hours with him every day, coaching him in the art of the sword, and in hand-to-hand combat. To his classmates, he might as well not exist.

Cloud couldn't help but feel his mask - his fake smiles, his empty laughs and quiet musings - were lost on people who, in all honesty, wouldn't have seen the difference between this, and what he really was.

It was truly a humbling ... no, _depressing_ thought, to know that no matter what he did, no one would notice. No one would care.

The moment he had realised this, it had been such a fundamental moment for the blonde that he had sat stationary at the metallic bench facing his soaking oatmeal and canned half-peaches for a full five minutes, staring unseeingly into the glooping mess his breakfast made.

Then, he had laughed.

It wasn't the false, high, naive laughs he had somehow drawn up throughout the past month since he'd returned to the Tower. It was a cynical, bitter laugh. Not that anyone was there to notice the difference; he sat a full three metres from his peers, with five seats on either side of him separating him from the nearest one, a dark-skinned girl named Nyysa.

By the time breakfast ended, and the single Caretaker his year was left with (as the Children grew older, their need for supervision grew less, much to Cloud's relief) herded them together to return to their rooms, Cloud's laughter had died down. His eyes were left with residue tears, his cheeks a little sore from the first true smile he'd kept for a while. The smile on his face was smaller than usual, and instead of trying to gain the attention of his peers - as he had been for the last four weeks, talking to unresponsive faces and laughing to jokes he wasn't supposed to hear - he trailed along at the end, still erupting into strangled chuckles every few metres. He knew the Caretaker was confused at his abnormal behaviour - to her, a fleeting concern - and he knew that for the first time, his classmates were actually _looking _at him, giving him fleeting glances from the corners of their eyes ... but he didn't care.

He laughed all the way to their physical lessons, in Training Room 2. And when he took up the weighted sword and started the drills Scarlet ordered him, he still had the broken smiling darkening his face.

And when that broken smile faded, it was weeks - months - before another took it's place. From that day, Cloud abandoned his lies, he abandoned the false mask he had carefully constructed. He became who he truly was; he became what he really felt inside.

And for the longest time, he didn't smile. Not even when the instructors cracked bad jokes, not when Scarlet teased him gently through the tentative master-student relationship they'd forged, not when one of the other ShinRa tripped or made some witty, sarcastic comment.

He didn't smile at all.

And it took seven months for anyone to notice.

* * *

Zack was, quite simply, bored.

Kunsel sat beside him, drawing lazy sketches on his note pad with a blunt pencil, humorously illustrating some of the more obscure things their lecturer was describing. He had dark brown hair to Zack's jet-black, and although their eyes glowed at the same luminance, Kunsel's were smoky grey while Zack's were a rare shade of violet. The two had been friends since birth, their ShinRa Parents having been close friends for the same length of time, and the two continued the family tradition in the best way possible; friendship and loyalty.

Lux sat on Zack's other side, his forehead resting on the cold metal desk and his eyes closed, obviously sleeping. Where Kunsel was the artist and Zack the fighting prodigy, Lux used his brilliant mind far more extensively than any of the others - when he wanted to, that is. And the long-haired, dark-blonde Trainee didn't often want to use his mind for anything other than video games and maths.

The inseparable threesome sat in an afternoon lesson, in the three desks about halfway to the back of the room, not too close, but not so far away from the front to be seen as troublesome. The lesson itself was, to be blunt, irrelevant; when would they _ever_ need to know about the difference between inter- and intra-specific competition, anyway? Being a ShinRa was about _doing_ stuff, not _knowing_ stuff. Zack scoffed a little at the short, bald ShinRa academic that was earnestly describing the relationship between Starlings and Fleas, and honestly decided that he couldn't care less; his decision not in the slightest influenced by the fact that over half of the rest of the class had decided the same thing.

So, there he sat, mellowing in his boredom and counting down the seconds till he could leave this class and run back to the Training Gym, maybe hunt down one of the older SOLDIERs and watch them spar; or, he could even spar _with_ them. That would be _awesome_. His eyes glazed a little at the thought of it.

Then, a light scribbling sound, accompanied by a flicker of movement in the corner of his eyes, caught his attention.

Subtly, so the teacher nor any of his classmates would notice, he tilted his head gently to the side, angling it so he could sharpen his peripheral vision the way Yazoo had taught them a few weeks ago.

--_what the fuck? Who _is_ that?_

Zack gave up discretion in favour of turning almost full in his seat, staring unabashedly at the small blonde boy who occupied the desk furthest from the front, hidden in what was possibly the only shaded corner in the room. He had yellow-blonde hair moulded into jutting spikes, with baby-blue eyes that glowed significantly brighter than Zack had ever seen on a resting ShinRa before. His skin was - strange, almost imperfect, but he couldn't quite figure out _what_ it was that _made_ it imperfect. The boy - easily smallest in the class, smaller then even the _girls_ - was hunched over an open exercise book, scribbling furiously in neat handwriting Zack - if he sharpened his vision - could read even from where he sat halfway across the room.

"Who-"

"Zachary, eyes up front!"

"Sorry, sir," Zack blurted out in a reflex answer, whipping around and smiling charmingly up at the ShinRa, who grudgingly let him off and continued with the lesson.

By the end of the lesson, Zack was about fit to burst from curiosity. _W__ho is he?!_ _I'm sure I'd have noticed if we had a new kid in the class, and Angeal didn't announce anything ... maybe he's a transfer student? But from where? Maybe ... maybe he's from one of the younger years. Yeah, that must be it; he must be trying out Year Nine stuff. That makes sense ..._

Then, his mind made up to confront the blonde ShinRa after lessons ended, Zack leant over his half-hearted notes and began the nail-biting work of deciphering them.

* * *

His notes were perfect; concise, neat, transcribing every word the lecturer had uttered in the two-and-a-half-hour lesson (split into three different subjects each day, with small intervals so they didn't get sore from sitting too long.) He printed his name, the name of the subject, the date, time and instructor's name on the top of the page, then filed the sheets neatly into a lever-arch file he had taken to carrying around the past few months.

_Planet, I hate my life_ ...

Cloud was tempted to slam the folder shut, but he had learned his lesson from last time - it had taken him nearly two hours to arrange all his notes in chronological order again, after he'd destroyed the wooden panels like tissue paper - so he instead only clipped it shut with a little more purpose than usual, a little more finality as if the harsh click of metal could be an outlet for the frustration he'd been gathering for weeks and weeks on end, now.

The frustration he'd been gathering ever since Reno stopped calling.

It was only for two months, Reno had whispered through the near-silent line. A Turk Training mission, out in the mountains of the Northern Continent, some field experience before they started the tests that lasted - for the Turks - two whole years. The demands and requirements to become a fully-fledged Turk were far more than the demands to become a SOLDIER.

Two months he's said. Cloud checked his watch, as if simply by looking once more, it would change. It had already been two and a _half_ months. Cloud himself had seen Reno's plane fly in; he'd seen the red-head leap off the steps and beam around at his fellow Trainees, drawing a laugh from them with some one-liner he'd been too far away to hear.

_Stop it ..._ he told himself sternly, planting himself in the present and away from memories of the past. _Stop it, stop it, stop it. There's no sense starting up a Pity Party; there's no one to share it with, anyway. _

As if that made him feel any better ...

He dropped his textbooks into a shoulder bag and cradled the folder to his chest, creeping through the door silently the same way he had every afternoon in the seven months since ...

"Hey! _Hey, _you!"

Cloud kept on walking; no doubt they were calling for one of the others. It had been months since someone had called for _him_.

"Oi! Blonde guy!"

Cloud's eyes flickered up from where they were trailing along the ground. He scanned the backs of the heads around him; and saw that not one of them was blonde.

_Could it be-?_

"Hey-" a hand grabbed his elbow and swung him around. Cloud gasped at the contact, having not been touching in a purposeful way - in a way that wasn't simply brushing past, or catching themselves when they stumbled - since ...

Then he raised his head, and for the second time in his life, found himself caught in the violet eyes he'd glimpsed on his return to the Tower; the eyes that had, after an instant of contact, been whisked away by a blur of colour and noise.

"Hey! You're new to this class, right? If you want, I can show you around, introduce you to a few of the other kids if you like! I'm sure we'll have you fitting in in no time!" the Trainee beamed down at Cloud, dazzling the poor blonde with the intensity of the grin he'd bestowed upon him.

"I ..." Cloud's voice was scratchy from misuse; he had developed a habit of speaking no louder than a whisper, what with the hushed conversations he held (_used_ to hold...) with Reno. He cleared his throat, and tried again. "It's okay. Y-You don't have t-"

"Don't be stupid, it's your first day with us! Where are you from, anyway? Are you from one of the youngest years or something? I'd have remembered a pretty face like yours, so I can't have seen you before." The other ShinRa paused again to smile disarmingly. Cloud blinked in the face of what could only be either complete bliss, or ignorance.

He felt a strange, compelling need to wipe the grin from the black-haired ShinRa's face. In an effort to stump the poor boy, in an effort to shy away from the first unfamiliar contact with another being he'd had in so long, he lowered his eyes, turned away, and said,

"There's no need. I-I know all your names. I already know who everyone is. I've been in your class for seven months, Zack." He didn't feel as good as he thought he would when he saw the smile fade away in a blink, replaced by confusion, and horror. He didn't feel victorious. He felt ... sick. "I'm ... please, don't talk to me aga-" His throat choked closed, and he turned fully in the corridor, cutting his way through the streams of Trainees that had just been released from their own afternoon lessons as well.

As if by instinct, in a feeble ray of hope, he listened for the black-haired Trainee - Zack - to call him back. To apologise. To offer his hand of friendship again. To offer him a chance to ... belong.

But he didn't hear a word. Not a murmur. Not a whisper.

Nothing.

* * *

"Hey, Lux, d'you know who that blonde guy was?"

"Sorry?"

"Do you know who that blonde guy was?"

"... what blonde guy? I'm the only "blonde guy" in our year, Zack."

Zack's sense of uneasiness was growing as he asked again and again, until all his yearmates had been questioned. None of them had heard of the mystery blonde before; none of them had noticed the ShinRa who had, apparently, been living with them for seven months.

_Seven months!?_ Zack still couldn't believe it. He might have thought the blonde was lying, but for the honesty he had sensed radiating from the younger Trainee. _Seven fucking months, and not one of us noticed him enough to even know he existed!!_

He remembered the slump of the Trainee's shoulder, the defeat he could see etched into every line of his body. Up close, the imperfections were more obvious, though he still didn't know what they were; it was as if certain lines on his body were lighter or more reflective than others, though he couldn't think of any instances where this might be the case.

All in all, the small blonde ShinRa had become Zack's newest mystery.

A mystery he was determined to solve.

* * *

"Zack? What are you doing here so late?" Angeal looked up from the report he was reviewing and stood, moving around the desk to approach his favourite Trainee, one he was planning to personally take under his wing in the next year or two.

"It's ... something ... look, can I ask you something?" Angeal could see the Trainee was troubled, more troubled then he'd ever seen him before, and it immediately set his mind at full alert; what could have possible happened to set the fun-loving, optimistic, smiling, _happy_ Zack at such odds?

"You can ask me anything, Zack, you know that." They had met after a particularly gruelling sword lesson Angeal had been hosting, where Zack was the only one to keep up with his vigourous demands. Angeal had then started tutoring him after hours, even offering to be a "guest lecturer" for Zack's year once or twice, and the pair had developed an easy friendship, almost kinship or brotherhood. Angeal felt just as home with Zack as he did with his team mates Genesis and Sephiroth.

"There's ... this guy in my year. I've never even noticed him before ... and he ..."

Angeal's eyes widened in understanding.

"Zack, look ... it's okay if you start looking at other people in _that_ way; you're thirteen. It's normal for boys your age to start noticing the people around them differently. There's _nothing_ wrong with being gay-"

"What!? No, that's not what I meant at _all!!_" Zack gasped, leaping away and clenching his fists a little. Angeal, surprised at the violent reaction, lowered his voice consciously to the calm tone he used to quiet panicked or injured animals.

"Okay, I'm sorry I came to the wrong conclusion," he said quietly. "If you tell me what's wrong, I'll try to help, okay? Now: what's wrong?"

Zack sighed and collapsed into a nearby sofa, sprawling his legs untidily and ruffling up his hair with one hand.

"I just can't believe I didn't notice him ..."

Angeal picked up the whisper easily, and frowned a little as he moved to sit beside the Trainee.

"Who?"

"There's this guy in my year, he says he's been here for seven - _seven_ - months, and none of us even _noticed_ him! I don't even know his _name_! I ... I was wondering if you knew something about him. He's got spiky blonde hair, light blue eyes, he's kinda smaller than I expected of a ShinRa, he's all quiet like-"

"Cloud?"

Angeal felt something in him jolt guiltily at the description of the Trainee that could only be the blonde he'd help retrieve from the ruined village of Nibelheim three years earlier. He felt his insides squirm uncomfortably; because he could honestly say that, but for a brief wondering a week after they'd brought him to the Tower, he hadn't thought of the tiny blonde since.

"Is that his name? Cloud?"

Angeal didn't answer; he was lost in his thoughts.

Zack said Cloud was in _his_ age group ... but that couldn't be right! The child would have to be about twelve now, he should have been with the Year Eight's, if that!

Something stirred his memory, and then recollections came flooding back with a pained gasp; two and a half years ago, Sephiroth had grumbled a little about ... about a brother ... and about Reconditioning ... and the only brother Sephiroth had that would even _qualify_ for Reconditioning was ...

"Planet, where is he?" he gasped, surging to his feet. Zack followed cautiously, unnerved at the sudden change in his mentor's demeanour.

"Angeal?"

"Where did you last see him? I need to - I need to speak to him, I need to apologise ..." _Why had he forgotten all about him? Cloud was lost in this world, how could he have abandoned him this easily?!_

"I ... outside class ... but he'd probably gone since then. He ran away from me, so I don't know _where_ he-"

"Help me find him."

"...Angeal?"

"I need to find him ..." Angeal gritted his teeth in an uncharacteristic show of frustration, and Zack, sensing the older ShinRa's determination, rushing out before him to start the hunt for the elusive blonde.

* * *

Cloud had been running for ten minutes, by his watch, when he finally stumbled to a stop.

Well, it wasn't so much as a stumble, as a full-frontal re-acquaintance with the floor after running head-first into the only other person in the elusive corridor he'd found himself on.

Groaning, he picked himself off the white linoleum floor and turned, ready to glare at the one who had blocked his blurred path.

His words died in his throat when he saw the familiar shock of red hair splayed across the other person's shoulders.

"R ..." his voice was a whisper, a murmur. He couldn't raise it any higher. "Reno?"

The other pushed himself to his feet, his face whipping around at Cloud's voice and their eyes meeting in the gloom of the half-lit hall.

"Reno, is that you?"

In the next instant, Cloud found himself faced with an armful of red-hair, Reno's arms thrown around him tighter than a vice, squeezing the life out of him.

It took Cloud three full seconds to realise that Reno - strong, calm Reno, who never bat an eyelash, who never stopped smiling, who was the solid rock in a world of unease - was crying.

"R-Reno!" Cloud rasped, struggling for breath. "I can't ..."

"I'm sorry," Reno said, stepping back, and they both knew he meant the words in more than one way. His cheeks were streaked with tears that he impatiently brushed away, before lowering his arms to keep a light grip on Cloud's arms. "I'm _so sorry_..."

"Why?" Cloud raised his eyes to Reno's face, showing him the betrayal and hurt he'd suffered. "Why did you stop calling?"

"I never wanted to-"

"Reno-"

"I ... look, after the mission, we all got split into teams of two, yo. I was thrown with a guy called Rude - big bloke, dark skin, best in hand-to-hand with muscles like you wouldn't _believe_. The guys we get put with usually end up bein' our partners when we graduate, so to get the bond kick-started before we're even put into service, they make us bunk with 'em." Reno's eyes pleaded with Cloud, pleaded with him to understand. "We spend every second of every hour of every fuckin' _day_ with these guys. I couldn't tell him what you - we - were doin', he's still firmly on the Council's side, and I couldn't get away to call you, I'm so _sorry_-"

"Reno, why didn't you tell me?"

Reno closed his eyes, his hands still gripping Cloud's forearms where he had grabbed them in desperation. He leant forward until his chin was touching Cloud's forehead - as such was the height difference between them - then whispered,

"I didn't wanna hurt you, yo. And I knew it would break your heart if I said I couldn't call any more."

* * *

Cloud and Reno spent hours hiding in the forgotten corridor, speaking, exchanging stories and apologies. Reno spent almost twenty minutes trying to draw a smile from Cloud, with only a tiny lift in the corner of his lips to show for it.

In the end, dinner had passed and curfew was only moments away when they finally parted, with one last hug and a promise from Reno to meet again the next Saturday, when most of the older ShinRa would be out in Midgar partying and drinking.

Cloud walked back to his rooms alone. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't see the hunched figure in one of the soft armchairs as he stepped into his room and slid home the feeble lock.

He didn't see Zack, sitting half-awake in the common room, waiting for him.

* * *

**Next: **Part Four, Chapter Two: Better. _Zack tries to approach Cloud again. With interesting results. _

_Edit: 12/4/10  
_


	22. Part Four, Chapter Two

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **I really have no excuse. I am so sorry for being so late. I promise you, I will NOT be abandoning this story, not when I've put so much into it. I might take a break, I might be late in updating, I might throw fits and chuck my laptop against the wall and all sorts of things - but I WILL NOT abandon this story!!

On an unrelated note, this chapter was written under the influences of the flu, painkillers and while eating a chocolate-chip-hazelnut-spread-and-m'n'm-toasted-sandwich. But I'm not supposed to know where Dad keeps the chocolate drops, so shhhhh. :)

Ugh. I'm relearning the guitar - I used to play it when I was younger - and decided, foolishly, to jump straight into a steel-string acoustic. Ouch. _Bad_ idea.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Better' by Brooke Fraser (GO LISTEN! This is an _amazing_ song!! Even if it really isn't relevant here...), 'Some Say' by Sum 41, 'Start Again' by Red (Have I used this song already?)

**Lyrics:**_ I would give _anything_ to make you Better; I would give _anything_ to point you to Free. _-Better by Brooke Fraser.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Two: Better**

The moment their physical classes the next morning were finished - Zack with the rest of their year group, and Cloud with his one-on-one lessons with Scarlet - the black-haired Trainee cornered the younger, bombarding him with questions and exclamations.

It started with a simple question, that slowly evolved into dangerous territory that had Cloud's nerves growing tighter and tighter, and Zack's curiosity deeper and brighter.

_So, why did you get moved into our year?_

"I was tested."

_Are you, like, really smart or something?_

"I dunno."

_Why are you so small?_

"I just am."

_Is your name _really_ Cloud?_

"..."

_How do you know Angeal?_

"I met him once."

_Are you _always_ this boring?_

"I suppose."

_What's that accent you have? It's not Midgar._

"I dunno."

_Are you even _from_ Midgar?_

"I dunno."

_Do you _ever_ smile?_

"I dunno."

_Is that all you can say? 'I dunno'?_

"I dunno."

... _why are you doing classes with Scarlet, anyway?_

"I wasn't here."

_Where were you, then?_

It was at that point that Cloud, after the monosyllabic answers that Zack, apparently, hadn't caught onto, turned abruptly away and walked firmly in the opposite direction. Zack watched in confusion for a few seconds longer before racing after the small blonde, catching his sleeve and swinging him around to face each other.

"Hey, it was only a question!" he said indignantly, not noticing the way Cloud's face had darkened significantly.

"Well, maybe I don't want to answer," Cloud retorted, with more emotion and strength in his voice than he'd felt for months. His eyes lit up dangerously and he looked up into Zack's eyes squarely.

Or, he would have. But Zack's eyes weren't looking back into his; they were angled down, to the inch of wrist that protruded from where his snatching hand had pushed the long sleeve up.

It took Cloud a long, long moment to realise exactly what Zack was looking at.

Within milliseconds of this realisation, his wrist was snatched back and he was running through the corridors, heading for his place of refuge, his place of peace, pulling the sleeve down so far the seams at the shoulders tore a little, ignoring Zack's shouts to come back.

By the time he was sitting on the domed roof of the Tower, the tears in his eyes had been blown away, and he only sat there, his forehead pressed to his knees, shaking slightly.

He hadn't cried in weeks, months - even years, if he thought hard.

But he had never come this close.

* * *

Zack was frozen in the corridor, his hand still outstretched, clutching thin air. Cloud was long gone, the once busy corridor now empty but for him.

His eyes were fixed where he had seen Cloud's spiked head vanished around the corner at the end of the hall. His mind was blank. All he could see were the scars, as thin as a spider's silken web, too many to count and pale against Cloud's already milk white skin.

"What _happened_ to you?" he asked the air in a horrified whisper. He had no idea where Cloud had vanished to, not having had the sense to rouse himself from his stupor soon enough to follow him. Some instinct told him the blonde would not show up for his afternoon written lessons, so instead he resigned himself to questioning the blonde at dinner, perhaps, or afterwards when most of the others were doing homework.

But in the meantime ... he was going to try to get some answers.

* * *

There was only one other person Zack had ever seen with scars like Cloud had, and that had been an accident; Cait Sith, a SOLDIER who trained them on Thursdays and Fridays, and half-brother to the well known Human politician Reeve Tuesti. Zack had been ten years old when he was in the changing rooms, everyone else gone because he had been held back by Angeal, when he had seen Cait Sith changing in front of the lockers lining the walls. It had only been for a second, between one dark purple shirt and the next, but it had been long enough for Zack to see the thin white scars that peppered Cait Sith's otherwise tanned, flawless skin. He'd been too shocked at the moment to say anything, and Cait Sith had left before he could ask. Cait Sith had made a point of avoiding Zack ever since, speaking to him only when necessary and never meeting his questioning eyes. Over time, Zack had forgotten he'd ever seen the scars. Only seeing similar ones on Cloud had awakened the memory.

Now, his written lessons over and the formulae the instructor had been attempting to teach them fading already, he raced towards the SOLDIER Quarters, praying that he would be there.

He was.

So, the buzzer called and a nervous-looking Human sitting opposite him in the waiting room, Zack sat with his hands clasped loosely in his lap, one of his knees bouncing nervously. _I hope he sees me..._

"Fair?"

Zack's head whipped up and around upon hearing that slightly wary voice. Cait Sith looked as he always did, brown windswept hair, mischievous eyes that held a hint of darkness that attracted women to him like wolves to the full moon. Zack noticed, not for the first time, that Cait Sith wore gloves, something common among SOLDIERs, although unlike the ShinRa's comrades, Cait Sith's covered the backs of his hand as well, even going so far as to cover his wrists and lower arms.

Before, the thought hadn't bothered him. But after seeing _Cloud's_ wrist and lower arm ...

"Cait Sith! Sir, I, um, was wondering if I could talk to you?"

"What is this about, Fair?" Cait Sith asked in his usual, casual tone; though Zack could hear the uneasiness in his voice.

"It's about one of my ... uh ... friends?" Zack wasn't sure what to call Cloud, so settled for something simple and familiar. It was easier to call Cloud a friend than an acquaintance; it made the purpose of his visit more pronounced, in any case. "I think ... can I talk to you in, you know, private?"

Cait Sith looked a little exasperated, but nodded and shook his head in the direction of a small, unused office behind a nearby door. Zack watched nervously as the door closed behind him; now that he was here, he had no idea what to say! _I wish I thought this through more ..._

"... well?" Cait Sith looked about ready to bolt. Zack didn't think he had ever seen the SOLDIER this nervous before, as Cait Sith was usually very easy-going and relaxed.

"Where did you get your scars?" Zack blurted, closing his eyes in horror the minute the damning words left his mouth and bringing his hand up in a reflex movement to palm his face. _Idiot ..._

When he dared open his eyes again, Cait Sith was staring at him, frozen, pale beyond belief.

"What did you say?" His voice was icy cold, his eyes cutting into Zack's viciously. Zack took a step back against his will, frightened though he wouldn't admit it, by the raw power he could feel emanating from him.

"It's just - you have scars all over you, and I was talking to my f-friend just now, and I accidentally lifted up his sleeve, and he has them too! And I was just wondering, you know, if you could maybe kinda tell me where you got them, 'cause I really wanna know 'cause I don't really know my friend that well 'cause I kinda only just met him, and I really wanna _help_ him because he seems so _sad_ all the time and I don't know -" Zack paused for breath, took a moment to assess Cait Sith's expression, and stopped.

He'd never imagined to see such a ... _helpless_ expression on another ShinRa's face before.

* * *

Reno was on his way to talk to the Training Rooms - to talk to Tseng about the tests that would be starting in only a few weeks' time - when a small, pale blur flew past him, knocking him into a wall and stamping on one foot painfully.

"Hey, watch i-!" Reno snapped, whirling around and glaring at the form that even now sprinted further away; but his indignant cry faded when his eyes focused on that bobbing head, and he knew suddenly who that person had been. _Cloud!_

And with only time for that single thought, Reno raced after his best friend, pushing past ShinRas and Humans alike that had already been thrown to the floor by the blonde Trainee.

Together the two carved a distinct path through the corridors of the Tower, Reno shouting for the younger ShinRa, who was either ignoring him, or unable to hear him through the gasping breaths he was trailing behind him.

It took Reno all of two minutes to realise where Cloud was heading.

He'd never been to this part of the Tower before; the highest he'd ever been were the Shared Training Rooms, between the SOLDIER levels and the Turk's quarters. Now, judging by the stairs they had been pounding up for close to five minutes now, and by the increasingly distant view out the dusty windows, Reno could only assume they had climbed to some of the highest floors in the Tower, if not _the_ highest floor.

So when Cloud led him to a hatch in the ceiling, he wasn't sure what to expect.

He halted beneath the open hatch, catching his breath and staring up into ...

_The sky?_

Leaping up to catch the rim of the hatch was easy, as was hauling himself up and onto the metallic floor. His breaths puffed sharply in the cool air, and he was suddenly glad that Jenova's Legacy had granted him protection from the elements, including protection against cold. The wind whistled annoyingly in his ears, but it was easily enough thrown off as nothing more than a high pitched whine.

Reno walked slowly out from the relative safety found in the shadow between the two large protruding ornaments - shaped as half-domes, one slightly larger than the other - and onto the flat of the roof.

Cloud was sitting on the edge of the Tower, his feet actually hanging off the side, the wind picking at his hair and clothes casually. Reno, ignoring the same cold hands that tugged at his own uniform, stepped cautiously closer.

"...Cloud?" His voice was softer than ever, not wanting to startle his friend into falling off the side of the phenomenally tall Tower.

Cloud gave no sign that he had heard, other than a shifting of his hands from where they had been clenched in his lap to one resting on the metal to either side of him. Reno took this as an invitation - of a sort - and moved even closer, until he stood over the blonde, barely a metre behind him and staring past the tiny ShinRa to the vast space beyond.

"Hey," Reno whispered after a long, long pause, finally moving forward and crouching down, shifting until he sat just as Cloud did. He leaned forward a little, until he could see under the hanging bangs over Cloud's face, and into the lowered eyes. "You okay, blondie?"

"... _he saw._"

"Hm?"

Cloud didn't answer, not verbally; he extended one arm, wrist facing the stormy sky, and pulled the sleeve back. Reno had to only look once at the faded scars to know what had happened. Reno's fingers automatically went to his own wrists - his arms, his chest, his legs, _everywhere_ - where similar scars, though no where near as many, nor as deep as Cloud's, marred his skin. His complexion was pale enough that they were nearly impossible to see, anyway, but Cloud's faint tan by comparison - probably a result from his upbringing in the mountains - meant his were more noticeable by far. Reno let his hand fall away from his opposite arm, and reached out to pull Cloud's hand down, wrapping his long fingers around the frail wrist and covering the scars from view.

"Who saw them?" Reno made sure to keep his voice low and calm, so as not to frighten Cloud away. He could feel the blonde's pulse under his fingers, racing at what seemed like a thousand beats a minute. He knew his friend was only a breath away from fleeing again.

"Zack. He's - a Trainee. Like ... like me. He's the first one to ..."

Reno knew - from their impossibly long talk the night before - of Cloud's troubles with his year mates, his seeming invisibility that had withdrawn the blonde into himself.

"He saw _you_?"

"He thought that I'd been ... promoted from the year below," Cloud spoke in something close to a monotone. Had Reno been paying any less attention, the increasingly strong wind would have snatched the words away before he could hear them.

"Probably 'cause you're so small, yo," Reno teased him, finally letting the smaller ShinRa's wrist go. Cloud immediately drew the hand back towards him, pulling one leg up from it's precarious hanging and wrapping both arms loosely around it.

Cloud didn't laugh.

"He never even realised I existed," he murmured, his eyes unfocused and glazed over in a way reminiscent of their time in Reconditioning. "None of them did. Do. Whatever ..."

Reno didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure there was anything he _could_ say. So, instead, he sat next to the blonde in silent comfort, letting the blonde know without words that he was there for him, and enjoying the silence of the moment. He was aware that time was passing, that it was well into their afternoon lessons and that they would both be serving detentions for not attending, but this seemed more important to him than sitting in a half-empty classroom pretending to pay attention.

The two sat alone, even when the heavens finally broke and rain started pouring down in lukewarm sheets over them. Their uniforms were soaked through, their hair plastered to their foreheads and the backs of their necks and water was pooling in the depths of their shoes. Growing - living - in the Tower, they rarely had the opportunity to see, or feel, rain. The only time the Trainees ever saw the outside world was on field trips, through the simulators, or whenever they graced the concrete field behind the Tower. Reno tipped his head back a little and sighed when the water trickled down the front of his shirt, the top three buttons undone and exposing his pale skin to the air. Cloud's eyes were still caught in the haze of space, but he seemed a little lighter than before, a little less hopeless.

When the two finally stood and backed away from the edge, Reno was surprised by Cloud suddenly leaning forward and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you, Reno," Cloud said in a muffled voice against Reno's shirt. "For staying with me."

Reno smiled, and hugged the younger ShinRa back.

"Sure thing, blondie," he replied as they moved back to the latch, keeping one of his arms slung around Cloud's shoulders as they did. "Anytime you need a hand, yo ... just call me, m'kay? Tseng can cover for me, I'll be there whenever you want."

"Okay, Reno," Cloud looked up at Reno and gave the red-head a tentative, tiny, almost non-existent smile. Reno grinned broadly back, before moving to fall gracefully through the open hatch.

Cloud allowed the smile to linger for a few moments more, before following.

* * *

"Zack?"

Zack raised his head from where he was sitting, fixated on the door to the common room, waiting for it to open again. It was almost time for dinner, only a half hour or so before the bell would be called, but he hadn't even started his set homework yet, nor had he gone back to the Training Rooms as he usually did when procrastinating on assignments and essays. Instead, he was waiting, silently, sitting still and unmoving in a way he never had before. His unusual behaviour, however, had caught the attention of someone else.

"Lux? What is it, buddy?"

"Zack, look, me and Kunsel ... we're worried about you."

"What? What d'ya mean?"

Lux sighed, running a hand through his long, dirty blonde hair, before sitting heavily beside Zack and looking him squarely in the eye.

"Zack ... this guy you've been talking about, Mist-"

"Cloud," Zack corrected him, and Lux glared a little, speaking louder.

"-_Cloud -_ look, Zack, this isn't healthy. It isn't like you to be so ... obsessed with someone, but when that person isn't even ..."

Zack frowned a little when Lux's eyes shifted nervously.

"Isn't what?" Zack asked sternly, uncharacteristically serious. He had an idea of what the other Trainee was trying to say, but surely he wouldn't _actually_-

"Zack ... have you ever considered the - _possibility_ that 'Cloud' isn't ... real?"

"How _dare_ you!?" Zack surged to his feet, his eyes glowing bright in their anger, his fists clenching at his sides as he met Lux's shocked eyes furiously. "_How dare you!?_"

"Zack, this isn't healthy, you need to see someone about these - delusions that there is someone who no one but you has ever seen before-"

"Angeal knows him-!"

"_Angeal_ would **lie** if it meant you would be _happy_, Zack!" Lux's voice rang out with deathly finality in the silence of the room, all eyes turned to the two friends who were in the depths of the first argument they'd ever held. "He would do _**anything**_ if it would make you smile! Even-"

"Zack?" The voice was unfamiliar to almost all of the Trainees, quiet and timid and unsure. While they puzzled and frowned and exchanged worried glances, Zack whirled in relief to meet the startled eyes of the person he needed to see most in the world.

"Cloud!"

Lux paled along with the other ShinRa, staring in disbelief as Zack ran to the tiny blonde boy who had appeared in the doorway. Whispers broke out among the spectators, eyes staring and seeing for the first time someone they had subconsciously, somehow, never seen before.

Zack marched right up until he was level with the blonde, before pulling him towards the centre of the room, where Lux was standing frozen. Cloud visibly shrank under the eyes of so many people, even going so far as to hide behind Zack in his shyness. Oblivious to the panic Cloud was under, Zack tugged him back until he was full under the gaze of Lux. Then, turning pointedly to the younger boy, Zack asked loudly, almost sarcastically,

"Cloud, are you _real_?"

Cloud gave the black-haired Trainee a puzzled look of such utter disbelief and confusion, that Zack couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Almost ten minutes later, Cloud finally managed to detach himself from Zack's grip and slip away to his room, closing the door behind him. Zack hadn't noticed that the blonde was gone, too caught up in introducing his new friend to their classmates - forgetting, of course, that Cloud already knew all their names.

The moment he was in the haven of his room, Cloud sank to the floor and cradled his head in his arms, closing his eyes against the light that filtered through his half-open window. After so long with so little contact with other people, to suddenly have the undivided attention of twenty ShinRa - their glowing eyes so much more intense than a Human's - was unsettling.

Drawing a shaky breath, Cloud closed his eyes, and found to his surprise that he - at that moment at least - actually preferred the silence. He hadn't known that this much attention could ever be disturbing. It had been a feeling akin to stage fright, and it had taken all his power not to run the moment Zack had drawn attention to him.

_Never again,_ Cloud swore in his mind, silent as he usually was. _I can't let them get to me, not again. Not this time._

* * *

Zack turned for Cloud, already posing a question he knew wouldn't be answered.

Only to find that Cloud had, apparently, learned the art of invisibility.

Zack was just about to call Cloud's name, or if desperate measures came to light, start waving his arms around in hope he might find the lost blonde, when a low chime resonated through the building.

Ah. Dinner.

Zack, at first, followed his classmates to the door, where a middle-aged Human was waiting to escort them to the Mess Hall. But, the last one out with his hands on the door frame, he suddenly realised. _Where's Cloud?_

In the new emptiness of the Common Room, he could now see the dim light under Cloud's door, and hear muffled shuffling from behind it. The Human was looking at him strangely, and Zack, thinking fast, wrapped an arm around his stomach, trying his hardest to wear a look of pain.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," he moaned piteously, clapping a hand to his mouth in an over-dramatisation that should have given his sudden, mysterious illness away. The Human, however, only sighed and waved for him to return to his Common Room and the men's bathrooms to the right of the entranceway.

"So I'll tell the others you're not coming to dinner?" the Human called after Zack as the Trainee scurried away to the toilet in a shuffling run.

Zack stood just inside the shared bathroom, watching the door swing back and fro as it shut and listening for the Human to leave. The moment the man had gone, Zack was running silently back out the door - which hadn't even stopped moving yet - and towards Cloud's closed room.

"Hey - Cloud?" Zack hissed through the wood. He heard something thud on the other side of the door, and winced in sympathy at Cloud's grunt of pain. "You okay, buddy?"

"I am _not _your 'buddy'," Cloud grumbled, yanking the door open and glaring at Zack when the older ShinRa moved to enter. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologise-"

"Wrong. What do you _really_ want?"

"What ... you ... huh?"

Cloud lowered his eyes and leant on the door frame.

"Hmduhynfrmuh?"

"Sorry?"

Cloud huffed, and reluctantly repeated louder,

"What do you want from me? Why are you ... y'know, talking to me?"

Zack glanced down to Cloud's covered wrist, taking advantage of the blonde's averted face to glance on the concealing grey fabric sadly.

"I want ... to be your friend, I guess," Zack answered, sheepishly rubbing his head and grinning nervously.

"Why?"

"I dunno, isn't that what people our age are supposed to do? Make friends, run around screaming our heads off, share sandwiches and all that stuff?"

Cloud finally looked up into Zack's violet eyes, amused though he wasn't smiling.

"You've been watching too much Human television," he said softly, almost accusingly. Zack nodded unabashedly in agreement, and Cloud finally relented.

"Fine," he moved to one side. "Come in ... I guess."

* * *

**Next: **Part Four, Chapter Three: Colors. _Zack and Cloud talk. Not the most thrilling chapter summary, but the Author can't be bothered thinking up anything more sophisticated than that. _

_Edit: 12/4/10  
_


	23. Part Four, Chapter Three

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **Redandblackbeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Some of you may have noted, I have finally got around to updating my penname so it has _capitals!_ Gasp! Now I can be grammatically correct, _and_ say my penname normally at the same time! The wonders!

Lol, anyway, thank you to all the fabulous people who reviewed! Congrats to ClockworkPhoenix on being the 100th reviewer! And Welcome to all the new people who are reading this story! It brings me great joy to see all the people who (for some unknown reason) not only like my writing, but actually like it enough to _say_ something. I'm still a little shocked about that ...

Ooooh, I hate steel strings. (nurses blistering fingertips.)

**Music Listened to While Writing: '**Colors' by Crossfade, 'A Place For My Head' by Linkin Park, 'If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback, 'L490' by 30 Seconds to Mars (Beautiful song, go listen!)

**Lyrics:**_ I know you feel alone, yeah, no one else can figure you out - but don't you _ever_ turn away from the ones that helped you down. Well they love to save you, don't you know they love to see you smile? But these colors that you've shined are _surely _not your style! _-Colors by Crossfade.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Three: Colors**

Zack perched on the edge of the blonde's bed awkwardly, watching as his younger classmate padded around the room softly. The silence lengthened and thickened, and Zack could feel the strain of sitting still pulling on him.

And suddenly, he couldn't take it any more.

"I know where you got-"

"I'm not gonna tell you how-"

They both blinked at the sudden explosion of noise, as they both tried to speak at the same time. Zack laughed at the coincidence, while Cloud only flushed slightly, dropping the long-sleeved shirt he was folding methodically and sitting himself hesitantly beside the other Trainee. Zack reached out, ignoring when Cloud cringed away, and pulled the sleeve of the younger ShinRa's sleeve up, past the elbow. The two of them looked down on the pale scars, one in resigned anger, the other in sadness - now that he knew the truth, the scars seemed so much darker than they had before.

"Cloud ... I know where you got these," he spoke, quieter now that they were sitting closer together. In the silence, they could hear the thick rain thudding against the ajar window lightly, and hear the distant whistling of the wind against the side of the Tower. Cloud kept his eyes on the pale skin of his arm, ignoring the weight of Zack's gaze trying to search his.

"How do you know?" His voice caught in his throat, unused to being used so much for so long, and he cleared his throat sharply.

"I saw another SOLDIER when I was younger - he had scars just like you do," Zack said, pushing the sleeve back down and moving so he was reclined on Cloud's bed, comfortable in the other's presence in a was Cloud only wished he could be. "I asked him after class today. He told me."

"He _told_ you?" Cloud's voice, no higher than a whisper, was incredulous - he couldn't imagine for the life of him ever telling _anyone_, let alone a stranger, what had happened to him during his absence from the Tower.

"Yeah ... he told me about ... y'know, Recon-"

"Don't!" Cloud gasped suddenly, pushing himself into a half-standing pose and glaring down at the dark-haired Trainee. "Don't - say it, okay?"

"Okay," Zack's voice was soft, trying to calm Cloud down, and it seemed to work, for Cloud slowly lowered himself back onto the bed, positioning himself so he was faced half towards Zack and half to the rest of the room, his eyes downcast, his fingers intertwined in his laps and fidgeting anxiously.

"He ... actually _told_ you?" Cloud finally whispered, his eyes still caught on his struggling fingers.

"Yeah," Zack said, moving to prop himself up on his elbows so he could see Cloud better. "Is that so weird?"

"Of course," Cloud muttered. "I couldn't even _think_ about telling anyone about ... _that_."

"Why not?" Zack's curiosity seemed insatiable, and this time - as if had many times before, and would for a many, many more years - earned him a sharp, scathing glare.

"They don't ... _need_ to know what happened there," Cloud finally said, his voice still low and shy. "No one can know."

"Why not?"

"It's ... embarrassing."

"How?" Zack leaned forward a little, looking at Cloud intently ... sadly.

"They ... they took away everything," Cloud revealed in a hoarse whisper. "They controlled _everything_, I couldn't do anything to stop them. They tore me down, until I didn't even know who I was any more. I hated feeling like that. Just because I grew up in some - in some distant country town, just because I speak differently, or 'cause I was taught to _love_-"

Zack couldn't hide his small, choked laugh.

Cloud lurched away from the bed, clenching his fists and frowning so deep he would later be amazed it didn't leave a mark.

"It's alright for _you_ to sit there and _laugh_ at what those **bastards** did to me!" Cloud stormed, his eyes lighting up so furiously they drowned the room in blue; his Presence on the radar flaring so bright it dwarfed all others in Midgar, overwhelming them until they were nothing put pinpricks to his vibrant sun. "I can't believe you! I let you into my room, I let you see something only _one _other person is even allowed to _know _about, I pour my fucking _heart _out, and you - you sit there and _laugh_, when you _know_ what they did to me-"

"Cloud, I didn't-"

"They fucking _tortured_ me, and no one gives a goddamn-"

"I didn't mean it like-"

"_What the __**fuck**__ gives all of you the right to treat me like _shit_ just because of who I am?!_" Cloud's voice could be heard three floors above, six floors above, in every room on his level - empty though they were - and Zack was quivering under the full weight of it. But still, even as he was caught in the unearthly glow Cloud permeated, even as he shuddered under the waves of _power_ he could feel rolling off the blonde Trainee, he still leapt from his seat, waved his arms crazily and screamed in response,

"_I'm sorry, okay!!_ I'm sorry ..."

And, with those simple words, the simplest words in the world, Cloud felt all the fight in him rush out. He collapsed in a tiny huddled ball on the carpeted floor, his arms wrapped around his legs, his eyes dark and pressed so tight that flowers of light blossomed behind them ... and cried.

* * *

Zack crept across the floor, inch by slow inch, until he was crouched behind the shivering blonde. He reached out tentatively, unsure of what to do, before finally giving in and patting the Trainee's back awkwardly. When Cloud didn't shrink away, he lowered his hand once again to the shaking back, then left it there, a comforting warmth in the blonde's moment of despair. He could hear it, in the muffled sobs from under the boy's arms, he could hear every moment of pain, every struggle, every dream and hope of his that had been crushed; he could hear them leaving him, and he knew the blonde needed this. He needed a release, a way out.

And he was ready to give him that.

* * *

He wasn't sure when he surfaced from his moment of sorrow. All he knew was that at one moment, he was bawling his eyes like he never had before, in such an utter lack of control that it scared him like nothing else ever had. Then, in the next moment, he was kneeling on the floor of his room with a soft, warm hand on his back and cheeks stained with tear drops, feeling raw and almost ... _violated_.

He was quick to wipe his cheeks of the evidence, but the damage had already been done. When he moved to stand, Zack was quick to help, moving his hand to Cloud's elbow and sharing the blonde's slight weight. For all that it made Cloud feel like an invalid, it was ... nice to have someone there, someone helping him because they wanted to, not because they had to or felt obligated to. The only other person he ever received _that from - _at the Tower at least - was Reno. He gave Zack a quick, thankful look, before moving to sink onto his bed. He let his head hang in his hands and closed his blood-shot eyes wearily.

"I'm sorry about what they did to you," Zack whispered to the blonde, knowing he could hear him perfectly in the brittle silence. "You don't deserve that. No one does. You know that ... right?"

Cloud didn't answer. Only nodded, tiny, jerky movements of his head that made his blone spikes bob a little. At that, they sat in the comfortable silence, listening to the rain die down outside until it was nothing more than a light shower pattering against the side of the Tower.

"... feeling better?" Zack finally asked at length, still sitting beside him.

"Yeah ..." Cloud croaked. "Thanks..."

"Any time!" Zack beamed, perking up visibly. his face so enthusiastic it was painful for Cloud to watch, tiring in itself to see someone else so energetic. He glanced over to his bed, his fatigue reminding him painfully of the sleepless weeks - months - he'd spent ... _there_. Zack saw the glance, and knew immediately what it meant. He hadn't sat through Cait Sith's painful lecture without picking up a thing or two ... but to know that Cloud had gone through _that_, just as Cait Sith did, was ... painful. And it struck him now just as hard as it had before. His voice was soft, gentler than it had ever been before, as he asked,

"Hey - did you want me to go?"

"Um ... if that's ... alright?" Cloud's voice lifted into a question, not really sure how to treat his new friend. It was as if he'd forgotten what it was like to know companionship; the only semblance of what Zack was offering that he'd experienced in years, was his bond with Reno. But this felt different, somehow, in a way he couldn't yet tell how.

_Speaking of Reno ... I need to talk to him. We need to figure out where we're going with this crusade of ours ... 'cause so far, the only people we have are me, him and Tseng. We need to work on broadening our circle ... but how? _It was a question that had been bothering him for some time, now, a few months almost. It came to mind, now, be the tempting thought of trying to bring Zack to their cause ... though if the Trainee's laugh at Cloud's mention of love was anything to go by, it would be a long time in coming before he would see things the way they did. _Though I suppose we really have had an unfair advantage; after all, Reno has more reason to love Humans than Zack does, what with being sent to Reconditioning for protecting one. Even Tseng - it's obvious how much he cares for Reno, and the fact that Reno was hurt so badly just for killing a ShinRa, when it's actually _compulsary_ to kill a Human__ ... it's no wonder he's on our side ...  
_

"No prob, Clou'," Zack grinned. Cloud's stomach jolted painfully at the nickname, a name he'd heard before, from the lips of another dark-haired friend, though older, with eyes that didn't shine, with shared blood and friendship that had been torn away by the very people he was fighting to protect. _Nanaki ..._ "I'll speak to you tomorrow, is that cool?"

"Hm? Oh - yes ... that's fine ..." Cloud trailed off absently, and Zack lingered for a moment, suddenly unsure of leaving his friend alone after what he had just witnessed. Then, sighing and arguing that the blonde could handle it - what ever it was - by himself (after all, he had been doing so for months already; what difference would a day make?), he turned and left.

The moment Zack was gone, Cloud fell on his bed and dug the cellphone Reno had given him out from under his pillow. He pressed the speed-dial (there were only two - one to Reno, and another for Tseng now that he had joined their crusade) and waited patiently for it to ring.

He didn't pick up.

Sighing heavily, Cloud pushed the button firmly once again, and brought the phone to his ear, tapping his fingers impatiently. It didn't occur to him that Reno, along with all the other Trainees and half of the graduated ShinRa (they held meals in shifts, so they would still have the personnel to look over the defences and satellites), would be at dinner, or just leaving it if he was abiding by the timetables all Trainees were bound to.

Finally, the artificial ringing was cut off, and he could hear the sound of light breathing through the receiver, hear someone fidgeting and creaking on the other line.

"Reno, I need to speak to you, are you alo-"

"Who is this?"

Cloud's stomach dropped.

"Wh- Who are you?"

"I asked first, child. Tell me, who are you?"

"I - I - uh-"

"Tell me!"

"I ... don't think I should b-"

"I am fairly certain your name is not 'Mr Cuddles,' nor would I think you wish it to remain as such. Do _not_ lie to me._ Tell me your name!_"

_Mr Cuddles?!_ Cloud mouthed indignantly, dismayed by Reno's choice of code-names for the second time, remembering the red-head's own code-name being 'Sexy Ass,' or something along those lines. It had been Reno's idea to have code-names on their cellphones, in case a stranger should pick any of them up (something he was very thankful for now.) Tseng's code-name was 'Fried Onion,' if he remembered correctly, after the Wutian's supposed favourite food. Or maybe it was his _least_ favourite food ...

"No?" The familiar, yet unfamiliar voice (he'd definitely heard this guy somewhere before...) on the other end of the line, having finally grown tired of Cloud's silence, sighed heavily. "Rest assured, I will not be letting this go, young one. I will find out who you are, and I _will_ find out what you're doing with the phone of a _ShinRa_."

_He thinks I'm Human!_ Cloud realised with a start, and nearly dropped the phone when it cut off suddenly. He lay there stupidly for a few seconds more, with the silent phone held to his ear and a dazed expression on his face, before suddenly, he broke.

_What the fuck is that guy doing with Reno's phone?_ _Did he lose it? Steal it? What!?_

Cloud sighed and let his forehead fall forwards onto his pillow, before rolling onto his back and bringing the phone back in front of his eyes, clicking the number for the second speed-dial. He'd never called Tseng before - he'd barely even spoken to him, but for a few training sessions they'd held after his return to the Tower - as he hadn't had reason, and they'd been trying (with Reno as the conduit between them) to keep their ... for lack of a better word, _operation_, undiscovered.

The phone was answered on the second ring.

"Tseng."

"Um ... hi?" Cloud hated how young his voice sounded just then.

"Who is this?"

"It's ... Clo-"

"Wait!" Cloud heard the sound of hurried footsteps, a door opening and closing, the press of a few buttons that would lower the volume until Tseng himself would be hard pressed to hear the blonde speaking. "Okay. We can talk now." Tseng's voice, too, was far lower than usual. Cloud gave the phone a guilty look when he realised he must have interrupted him in the middle of something important, and surrounded by important people if the sudden secrecy was anything to go by.

"I'm ... I'm sorry for calling, it's just ... I needed to talk to Reno, but-"

"Why don't you call him, then?" Tseng interrupted impatiently. Cloud blinked at the uncharacteristic harshness of the Wutian ShinRa. "Ugh - look, I'm in the middle of something, okay Cloud? I'm sorry for being short with you, but I've really got to g-"

"Reno doesn't _have_ his phone! A stranger answered it, a ShinRa I think," Cloud rushed to say before Tseng could cut him off. He blushed almost immediately after the sentence burst free of him, embarrassed at his boldness of interrupting not only a superior, but someone he - supposed - was a friend.

Silence.

"... again?" Tseng huffed in amusement. "This must be the fifth time in the last month. Look, Cloud, Reno is always loosing his phone - confiscated during class, or leaving it in his room and forgetting where he put it down. Don't worry; it'll be fine. The person who answered was probably one of his teachers or something."

Cloud nodded - forgetting Tseng couldn't see him - and said awkwardly,

"If you say so ..."

"Good. Now, Cloud, I hate to do this to you, but I really need to leave; I'm in the middle of an important meeting, I can't talk now. Keep trying that phone - don't reveal your name, whatever you do - until Reno gets it back."

"Thanks, Tseng," Cloud said in a low voice, sincerely. "For everything."

"It's my pleasure, Cloud," Tseng replied in kind, before snapping the phone shut with a slightly exasperated look. Really, Cloud couldn't have chosen a worse time ...

Straightening his suit, he checked his reflection in the polished metal of a name plate set next to an office door, then re-entered the meeting room with a proudly straight back. He was barely twenty, but he held himself as professionally as any middle-aged business man would, his specially tailored suit crisp and accentuating his features pleasantly.

"Forgive me," he said as he retook his seat along one, long side of the board table. "It was a wrong number."

"Of course, Tseng," Abei smiled down the table at the Wutian. "It's unavoidable. Now, back to the objective of this meeting. President, please continue." The various people seated around the table - approximated twenty of them, eight the ShinRa Council, the rest a broad range of Human Politicians ranging from the recently elected Gaian President Fuhito with his son, Rufus (also attending as the Vice President of Gaia) to the King of Wutai with his closest advisor. The Minister for Human-ShinRa relations, Tuesti, was there also, as well as the General of the Gaian Army, Heidegger and the Minister for the Department of Defence, Hollander.

And they were gathered to discuss _war_.

"The ShinRa Council signed a treaty with the Gaian Government seven hundred and twelve years ago, swearing that they would defend us against _any_ threat to our people," President Fuhito said in a slightly accented voice (having lived in Fort Condor most his life), his serious eyes roaming over the ShinRa arranged before them and meeting each of their gazes in turn. It did not go without notice that the youngest in the room were among the ShinRa - of the Humans, almost all were middle aged or older, many with greyed hair and creases on their faces. The only ShinRa that showed any age was Abei, and even then, it was only crows feet in the corners of his eyes, and a line that could be mistake for a dimple in one corner of his lips.

"And what threat do you _suppose_ is upon you?" Verdot asked, lounging in his seat as did all the ShinRa, his tone casually amused and superior. Fuhito - sitting upright with his hands neatly folded on the table before him - shot the Turk a muted look of disgust before answering.

"The Wutian dynasty has threatened us on the Eastern Border-"

"We have done no such thing-"

"Then _why_, King Daitoro, are there two hundred dead _men_ on the shores of Quadra? Why has there been a _four hundred_ percent increase of Wutian travellers on the Western Peninsular, eh? Answer me _that_, cretin!" Rufus glared darkly in the direction of the pale King, and Fuhito suddenly found himself glad he'd placed his hot-tempered son at the opposite end of the table to the Wutian representatives.

Abei looked around at the arguing Humans, amused.

"Now, now, Children," he said in a stickily patronising voice. "Calm down before someone gets hurt, hm?"

The Humans turned to him as one, and glared darkly.

Sitting at the end of the table, listening absently, Sephiroth as he felt the weight of their angered looks, couldn't help but he reminded of something he'd heard long ago. Something Cloud had once screamed at the top of his lungs, something he out of all the Council had been the only one to hear.

"_Humans look up to ShinRa! They adore us! They worship us-"_

"_No, they do not! Humans hate ShinRa!"_

And now, as voices rose around him and tempers flew, Sephiroth thought on those words seriously for the first time, the first ShinRa of all to do so. _"Humans _hate_ ShinRa!"_

And when he looked into the eyes and faces of his Human counterparts ... he couldn't help but fear that it was true.

* * *

Angeal looked down at the closed phone, deep in thought. When he'd confiscated the phone from the red-haired Turk Trainee, he hadn't expected it to ring; after all only Turk Trainees were permitted to have phones at all, and even then, only the ones nearing their graduation tests, and even _then_, none of them could have called during dinner; he had been there to see all of them sitting, not a phone in sight.

He would have dismissed the call as a wrong number ... if it weren't for the fact that the caller was already a contact on the Trainee's phone. _This is getting stranger and stranger ..._

And then, finally, as if to add insult to injury ... the voice he'd heard had been vaguely familiar, tickling at his memory and taunting him as he paced his room in the luxurious apartment.

_If only he could remember ..._

He glanced once again down on the phone, as if simply doing so would bring back memories of someone he couldn't remember ...

_Someone he couldn't remember ... no! It can't be!_

His eyes widened as a face - once had hadn't seen in so long - came to mind.

He'd searched high and low, he'd searched for hours with the help of the Trainee Zack, but he hadn't found him. It was as if Cloud had vanished; but that couldn't have been true! The satellite, for one, would have recorded his absense, and Zack had been sure he'd seen the blonde, even spoken to him.

_If I could speak to him ... tell him I'm sorry, just once-_

He looked down at the innocent, sleek technology, circumstances rushing back to him.

_What on Planet is he doing with a _phone_!? _

* * *

Cloud was rudely woken in the early hours of the morning by an insistent vibrating sound. Groaning, he slapped his hand around, trying to find the source of the noise, and jumped when his hands suddenly encountered his silently ringing cellphone, buzzing on his bedside table with the display lit brightly in the dark room. Without checking the ID, he brought the phone to his ear and clicked it on.

"Yehuh?" his voice was a groggy mess, barely coherent and dangerously slurred.

"Cloud."

And just like that ... he was awake.

"Oh _shi_- um - s-sorry, you must have the wrong num-"

"Cloud, I _know_ it's you."

Cloud closed his eyes in dismay, licked his lips nervously, then answered in a shaky whisper,

"What ... what do you want from me?"

"Cloud - do you know who I am?"

"No ... sir."

"It's me - well, you probably don't remember me, but ... well, we've met before. I'm Angeal; do you remember?"

Smoke. Ash. The ground rumbling beneath his feet. _Death_.

"I remember."

* * *

"Again."

Dark hair whipped about as she struck furiously, her fists and bare feet flying through the air as she launched herself against her opponent.

The man was a full three heads taller than her, with muscles that bulged and feet that seemed planted on the bare earth beneath them.

But he lasted barely a minute.

He fell to the earthen ground, a cloud dust gushing around him, groaning and barely-conscious. Standing tall and proud, the girl turned to her sensei, and bowed deeply.

"Well done, my student," the old man smiled fondly, reaching out to pat her hair gently. "You've fought well."

"Thank you, sensei," the girl replied formally in a stiff voice, rising from her bow and allowing her walnut brown eyes to smile secretively at the wizened man before her. "But you know I could never have done this without you."

The old man inclined his head in recognition of the cliché statement, before turning to the man who was only just now beginning to pick himself off the floor. The dark-haired girl turned to him as well, crossed her arms and gloved hands, then demanded,

"Well? Am I in?"

The man - his dark skin gleaming with sweat, one arm moulded into a silver metallic arm that glinted menacingly - wiped his chin and drew himself tall, looking down at her with wide eyes.

"Oh, yeah," he said in a deep voice. "You are _definitely_ in. Welcome to the team ... Tifa."

The girl - still only a child, not even a teenager yet - smiled in feral excitement, then (after bowing quickly in thanks) ran to the man and woman who waited on the sidelines, watching proudly.

"Dad! _Dad!_ Did you hear? Did you!?"

"Yes, Tif'. I head," the tall, broad man beamed down at her. "Well done, snowflake. You did good."

The girl's smile fell a little, and she looked around, feeling the lukewarm air brushing against her bare arms and legs.

"I miss the snow," she said nostalgically, in a language that wasn't her own, yet was at the same time. "It is too warm for snow, here."

The man smiled sadly and pressed a heavy hand against her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Tif'. We'll see the snow again, one day."

The girl's smile returned in full fervour, the seriousness of the conversation dropped in an instance, and she was quick to turn to the smaller woman who watched with glazed eyes.

"... Aunty 'Lena? Did I do well?"

The blonde haired woman didn't answer.

Her eyes - as blue as a calm ocean, crystal clear yet faded with sadness - were caught in the heavens, looking, _always_ looking, for the one who she knew was going to return.

And he _was_ going to return. She _knew_ he would.

So, she waited. And waited.

And prayed.

* * *

**Next: **Part Four, Chapter Four: Hurricane. _Across the world, pieces to the puzzle begin to emerge. A greater threat is revealed. The Author finally fills a plot hole that has been bothering her for months. Cookies, all 'round! And not the stale ones I'm eating at the moment, either. Bleugh. _

_Edit: 12/4/10  
_


	24. Part Four, Chapter Four

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note:** What is this?! An early update! The world is ending! Na, Easter Holidays have just started for me - two weeks of _freedom_! Woo!

I've tried using a different format while writing this chapter, jumping back and forth between two scenes - I believe the term is juxtaposition? - until both reach their dramatic finish at the same time. It's really fun to write :) It's like leaving heaps of tiny cliffhangers throughout the entire chapter.

So, anyway, this chapter is very important! It covers several plot holes, and introduces a new element to the plot (no pun intended ... you'll get what I mean when you read the chapter) which will be recurring through the rest of the story. In fact, we have already come across it many, many times - just in disguise! (Ninja plot lines FTW!) This chapter also answers a reviewer's question from long ago ... which you will find out when you read the chapter!

So read it already! :P

**Warning: **Swearing. What can I say? It's Reno. Comes with the territory. :)

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Hurricane' by 30 Seconds to Mars, 'It's Not Over' by Chris Daughtry ... um ... running out of songs here ...

**Lyrics:**_There is a fire inside and it's starting a riot about to _explode_ into flames. Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God ..._ _Heart beat, a heart beat I need a, heart beat, a heart beat - you know I, gotta go, I can't stay, you know I, gotta leave, I can't! _- Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Four: Hurricane**

"_There's a reason for all this, you know. There's a reason I'm telling you."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because ... 'cause I feel like I can trust you. I know ... somehow ... you're not gonna go running to the Council and tell them everything."_

"_Oh? How do you know that? I have enough information with me now to incriminate all three of you to a life in Recondi- sorry ... _that_."_

"_I know."_

"_Then what's stopping me from doing that?"_

"_You're not that kinda person. I can tell."_

"_Heh, Cloud, you never cease to wonder me, you know that?"_

" _... so what's your answer?"_

"_What?"_

"_Are you in, or what?"_

" _... what are you suggesting?"_

"_I'm suggesting you ... join us."_

"_Cloud, you do realise what you're asking me to do?"_

"_Yes. I do."_

"_You're asking me to go against everything I have ever known, to go against my _family_, my friends, to go against my entire race and every aspect of their culture ... to save their lives. What do _you_ think my answer is?"_

* * *

It took an entire half of the morning meal for Zack to remember Cloud existed.

Really, he couldn't help it! Cloud was new, he couldn't be expected to remember _everything_, could he!? Anyway, Kunsel had drawn a mean caricature of Loz, and they'd been too busy laughing over it to notice the ghost-like blonde that had drifted after them hopefully, waiting for them to notice him.

"Cloud! Hey, Cloud, come sit with us!" Zack called down the table once he remembered the existence of his wayward friend. Cloud looked up, startled, from where he had been examining his burnt toast sadly. His eyes lit up a little - and not with power, but with happiness - before he snatched up his plate and shuffled down the bench until he sat close at Zack's side, opposite the dark-haired boy's friend, Lux, who was staring at him openly with little, if no, discretion.

"So, you're the new kid?" Lux asked rudely, stabbing his fork into a square of off-yellow egg.

"... _no_," Cloud said softly, not meeting Lux's eyes. "I've been here seven months, Lux. I'm hardly new."

"But where were you before that?"

Cloud's eyes flitted to the side, meeting Zack's briefly. Zack gave him a reassuring smile before turning back to his own breakfast, remaining respectfully silent, allowing - encouraging - Cloud to answer for himself.

"I was ... on camp. Somewhere."

"Why?"

_Planet, he's as bad as Zack,_ Cloud mentally groaned. _If I have to go through this every time I meet one of these kids, I'm gonna _scream_._

"I didn't grow up in the Tower, so I had to be taught how to be a proper ShinRa like everyone else," Cloud answered in a small, hoarse voice, almost lost in the clutter of noise that swamped the mess hall. The tall ceilinged room was divided into three levels, with stairs on the edges of the room leading upwards as well as elevators and ramps in the corridors outside. The mess hall was probably the biggest complex in the Tower, next to the Training Rooms. On the top most layer, the most important ShinRa - First Class SOLDIERs, the ShinRa Council, highly acclaimed Turks and so on - dined with the highest quality food, with impeccable tables and chairs and professional servers pouring them exotic wines. On the next level, the middle level, the graduated ShinRa who weren't important enough to dine with their superiors ate and mingled freely.

The last level, the level Cloud was on right now, was the loudest and crudest. It was where the Trainees - of all ages - as well as Humans and the Undecided ShinRas (ShinRa Children under the age of five, as of yet unsorted into Turk or SOLDIER professions) ate in designated tables that were worn and pitted with age.

"Really?" Lux raised an eyebrow and levelled a clearly unimpressed look at Cloud.

"Yes," Cloud replied, lowering his head and poking at his food sullenly, his good mood gone. Zack nudged Cloud, who looked up questioningly only to meet Zack's painfully bright smile.

"Cheer up, Cloudy! It's a new day - you can get out and meet everyone, get to know all of us, make some few friends! It'll be great, now that you've finally come out of your shell."

_I didn't 'come out of my shell,' you _made_ me come out of my shell ..._ Cloud thought gloomily, though he didn't make any vocal disagreement to what Zack had said. He was in a bad mood, and he was wrong to snap back at Zack, he knew he was, so instead he remained silent and brooding. Each of Zack's attempts to draw him into conversation were denied. Eventually, Lux bid Zack to let him be; if the boy wanted to sulk, let him sulk.

"Hey - you're Cloud, right?"

Cloud started in surprise when a new voice spoke up in front of him. He looked up to see Kunsel smiling reassuringly at him, having slipped in beside Lux while Cloud was thinking.

"Of course," Cloud answered. _Everyone seems to be asking me that, recently. As if I'd forgotten who I am..._

"So, how long have you been in the Tower, exactly?" Kunsel looked over at Zack, who was in the middle of a spoon laden heavily with chocolate puffs, and was too busy to answer for his shy new friend.

"Um ... seven months ... not counting before I went away," Cloud mumbled. Really, it wasn't as if people had never talked to him before! Why was he finding it suddenly so ... daunting to speak to people face to face?! He'd had no problem talking to Angeal the night before! Or Reno just those few night earlier, they'd spent _hours_ talking! What was so different now?

_I don't know them. That's what different. I don't know if I can trust them. _

"So you've actually _left_ the Tower?"

"Haven't you?"

"Of course not!" Kunsel laughed openly, Zack joining him while Lux grimaced disdainfully. "Well, not like _you _have anyway. We're not allowed to leave the Tower for longer than a few hours 'till we're fifteen, for our first mock assessment when we spend a week in the Eastern Plains. That's still two years away! Three for you, Cloud."

"No, I'll be graduating the same time you guys do," Cloud interrupted quietly, correcting the older Trainee. "I was ... put up a year. Even though I'm younger ... I'm at the same level as you. I'll do all the things you guys do at the same time."

"Is that allowed?" Lux lounged on the bench as best he could, looking at Cloud dubiously. He and the rest of his class mates were thirteen; Cloud was twelve, though he could pass as someone three quarters his age if he held himself the right way, such was his size and feminine features that he looked far younger than he really was.

"It's been done before."

"Who?"

"Um ... Tseng?"

"Really!?" Zack leant forward in his seat, breakfast forgotten at the hint of information - gossip, more like - that he'd never heard before. "Tseng was bumped up a year?!"

"Of course," Cloud squirmed under the deep scrutiny the other three were giving him. "I've talked to him about i-"

"You've _talked_ to Tseng?!" Lux snorted in clear disbelief.

"Yes. He used to train me, before Scarlet retired from duty and became my full-time trainer," Cloud blushed when he realised just how much he had said - how much he had revealed - and ducked his head. But it was too late; the damage was done.

"You have _your own trainer!?_" Kunsel gasped, staring at Cloud with even more awe and amazement than before.

"It's nothing, rea-"

"Are you kidding!? She's practically your mentor! Do you know how rare mentors are!? _And_ she's a council member!! Cloud, you must be amazing!"

"I'm not, really, the only reason she's my trainer is-" Cloud cut off and closed his eyes, refusing to finish the sentence.

"...Cloud? You okay?"

Cloud nodded his head silently, and pushed himself to his feet.

"I'm fine, really," he said hurriedly. "I just need to-"

Then, the Caretaker at the head of the table stood and called for them to assemble, and head over to the Training Rooms for their physical lessons.

Later, when Cloud separated from the rest, as he always had, he could feel their eyes - the eyes of his classmates - following him. When Scarlet sent him running around the gym for a warm up, he could hear them whispering to him as he passed.

And when he picked up that leaded practise sword and started swinging it, with a proud smile from Scarlet, he swore he could feel their jaws drop.

* * *

"Jenova's Beacon. Does anyone in this room, know what that is?"

Cloud hunched over his desk, and didn't answer. No one did; because no one knew what or who Jenova's Beacon was. Zack, sitting faithfully beside his two closest friends, suddenly regretted not following Cloud to his lonely corner of the room. But now, already well into the lesson, there was no chance of moving. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see the blonde head, before whipping back to face the front when Lux caught him staring, and gave him an exasperated look. Though really, he wasn't the only one; everyone had been sneaking quick glances at Cloud that whole afternoon, amazed and intrigued by the "new" classmate - almost like they would be by a shiny new toy - they had never had the grace to notice before. Amazed by the pure _skill_ the blonde had radiated as he danced with the long wooden sword, as if it were only a game, or a dream he tripped through gracefuuly.

Lazard, sensing the class' inattention, sighed and snapped his fingers, whipping all heads back and up towards him.

"Anyone? No? Well, I wouldn't expect you to know. Jenova's Beacon is one of the rarest substances in the world," Lazard paced before the attentively (or perhaps not so attentively) watching Trainees. He dug one hand into his pocket, and pulled out a lumped stone the colour of coal black. "Does _this_ ring any bells?" His eyes flickered across the classroom, lingering on Cloud's down-turned head a fraction of a second longer than it did everyone else. "No?" he sighed. "That's a pity. It seems today, we will actually have to learn something, class."

"But we never learn anything, sir!" a Trainee called from the back of the class, much to the others' amusement. Lazard grimaced painfully among their muffled sniggers.

"I am aware of that, Jones. Don't forget, I was once in your place, and not as long ago as you might think. But today, I fear, you must learn. Because, this stone here," he lifted the coal black rock between his forefinger and thumb, eyeing the rock that was no bigger than a two-gil coin, "has in it, enough Jenova's Beacon to kill us all in a heartbeat."

The class was laughing no more. Cloud raised his head from where he had been dutifully taking notes, read over the last sentence he'd written, then whipped his head up to stare at Lazard incredulously.

"And that is what we will be learning about today."

* * *

Reno walked into class, his usual smug look in his face. Not ten minutes ago, he'd been deep in an arm-wrestling competition with his twin sister, Cissnei. He had, of course, won. He always did.

As he slumped over in his seat, the other nine Turk Trainees arranging themselves around him, he tilted his head back to gaze momentarily out the window, before reluctantly looking to the front of the class.

Hm. That was strange; it wasn't often they had the same instructor two days in a row. In fact, he could remember Angeal _telling_ them they'd be having Lucrecia today. _What's going on?_

"Reno, a word if you please," Angeal said just as the others were beginning to quiet down. Cissnei shot Reno a barely-contained look of glee; Rude shook his head and crossed his arms, adjusting tinted sunglasses over light-sensitive eyes.

Reno lugged himself out of his seat, as if it were the most taxing duty he'd performed yet, and dragged his feet as he followed Angeal into a small room off the class, empty and usually used to punish inattentive ShinRa. Reno was only too familiar with this room; it was a running bet among his year as to whether he would spend more time in the classroom, or more time sitting in the 'Naughty' room by the time he graduated.

"Reno, there's something I'd like to talk to you about," Angeal said the moment the noise-isolating door was shut behind them. Without any flair or beating around the bush (something Reno had always liked about Angeal) he pulled from his pants pocket a very, very familiar, sleek silver phone.

"_Hey_ - sir, you found it, yo!" Reno didn't need to feint his relief. He'd been in almost a constant state of panic since he realised the night before that he'd lost the phone, fearful that Cloud would call, only to reveal himself to another ShinRa who would-

"Reno - why do you have Cloud's number on here?"

Reno paled.

"And, for that matter, _why_ does Cloud even _have_ a phone?"

_Oh, shit!_

* * *

"Before I begin, can anybody tell me where Jenova's Beacon gets it's name?" Lazard paused, casting a look over the assortment of blank faces before him. "No? Well ... the term Jenova's Beacon, or Beacon for short, derives from this mineral's purpose - or it's original purpose, at least. Millions of years ago, a meteor fell to the planet, buried itself in the Western Continent and actually struck with enough force to weaken the tectonic plate the Western Continent lies on. This weakening meant that, as the plates moved over the Planet's surface, the area in which the meteor struck seemed to almost buckle: emerging from the ground, over thousands of years, the Western Alps were formed." Lazard paused, his eyes again falling to Cloud as if expecting him to speak. But the blonde did not speak: he was pale faced at the mention of the mountain range his home had been built on, his eyes wide and almost _scared_, but he did not speak at all. Not a word. Not a whisper.

Lazard sighed a little, then continued.

"This meteor sank into the Planet, heating as it did. Finally, five thousand two hundred and thirty four years ago, the rock became so hot it broke through the surface of the crust as molten lava, dispersing the mineral Jenova's Beacon - the remains of that meteor - over the surrounding mountains, and creating the peak that is known today as Mt Nibel." Lazard's eyes this time locked onto Cloud's for a full five seconds before they broke apart. The other students, realising something was going on between Lazard and their newly discovered classmate, watched him closely, and began to whisper - speculate, wonder - between themselves.

"Then, seven years later to the day - to the very _second_ ... something came to this Planet. Or should I say, some_one_. Yes, children, I can see in your eyes you know what I speak of. The meteor, after rising to the Planet's surface and showering to cover almost one hundred square kilometres of land, summoned the Angel Jenova herself to our humble world."

* * *

"I don't _know_ what you're talkin' about, yo," Reno tried again, to no avail.

"Cloud told me himself, Reno," Angeal looked disapprovingly down at the red-haired Trainee. "He said you gave it to him. Why?"

"Uh-"

"He also said something about being 'friends.' You do know the Council keeps SOLDIER and Turk Trainees apart for a reason, don't you Reno?"

"I - um-"

"And _then_ he went on to explain that you'd met in a place so _fondly_ known as Reconditioning."

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit! _

"And after that-" Angeal could still remember the way the blonde (who, once so outgoing, seemed now to be shy and timid, to his dismay) had cringed away from the topic, and accepted his apologies with murmured whispers of _It's okay. You didn't know ..._ "-he went on to tell me of himself, you and a well-known Turk called Tseng." Angeal paused for effect, then finished with the damning words, "And the partnership the three of you seem to have formed in an attempt to - shall we say, _broaden_ the minds of ShinRa to the idea of _loving_ Humanity."

_Well, fuck it._

* * *

"It is no coincidence that, exactly seven years after the eruption - and creation - of Mt Nibel, Jenova came to our Planet. The substance contained in the meteor - now so fondly known at Jenova's Beacon - acted as a homing signal of a sorts, a dormant call that only she could hear.

"Since the Angel's departure from the Planet - probably having been summoned to another world in this galaxy - we as ShinRa, and her descendants, have found other uses for the precious stone." Lazard threw the tiny black stone into the air, and caught in easily. The class watched the stone's movement through the air in wonder; this stone ... Jenova's Beacon ... was the reason they were here; without the Beacon, Jenova would never have come, and without Jenova, there would never have been ShinRa, only Humans. _Just think, a world where the highest form of life was a _Human_ ... _ was the thought that crossed many of the students' minds. They could not even _begin_ to imagine it.

"The stone itself attracts the Legacy of Jenova she granted each of us. It was this power that attracted Jenova herself to our Planet. But, while we are attracted to it ... it will only kill us in the end." He sighed, and pocketed the stone, though his hand stayed in his pocket and toyed with it absently, running his fingers over the coarse edges almost fondly. "The stone, as it is now, in one solid piece, cannot harm us. However, should the stone be ground into dust - or ingested in it's molten form, or breathed in as a gas ... the minerals in the stone are quick to flow through the body, effectively possessing it in mere seconds. In a ShinRa ... such a possession is deadly. To breathe in but a few specks of the Beacon - be it dust, gas or some other form - will render us unconscious and sick for weeks, if not months.

"The Beacon does this by, literally, absorbing - temporarily - the Presense Jenova granted us. This effectively robs us of everything keeping us alive. Because, to breathe in any more than just a few grains of Beacon ... is death."

Lazard paused. The room was silent, in a way it had never been before; or at least, in a way it hadn't been for years. During their early years of learning, ShinRa Trainees were generally well behaved, perfect, learning what was asked and soaking in the information like a sponge does water. But as they matured, their early independence grew stronger, until they were openly disobeying their teachers. And, what was worse, is that they were encouraged to do so; after all, thinking for one's self was what saved lives out _there_.

"This reaction is unique, however, to ShinRa alone. Should a Human breathe this substance in, should this substance enter a _Human's_ bloodstream, it will have either one of two effects. If a little is ingested, just as with ShinRa, the effect is less profound. They will suffer wooziness, a temporary high, much like the effects of drunkenness or many miscellaneous drugs. However, if any larger quantities are taken, the Beacon will rush to their head, bypassing all other organs in favour of swamping the mind. Only minutes later, the Beacon is expelled by the body, generally through the nose and ears, though there have been documented occasions of the mouth and digestive system as well, and with it, every conscious memory is removed also.

"In short, for a Human to breathe the Beacon, it takes everything, and leaves behind nothing. It is the most absolute kind of amnesia known in the history of both our races, and is irreversible, just as death is. There is no antidote, no cure that will stop the spread of this sickness; the only thing that can save you is the immediate and complete removal of every speck of the Beacon from you body. But it is impossible; by the time you realised you were dying, it would already be too late to save you. It is an unstoppable force, the ultimate weapon against all living beings. The most dangerous thing on this Planet."

* * *

"Yo, I _swear_, I can explain-"

"Reno, I don't want you to."

Reno closed his eyes and banged his head loudly against the wall behind him. Angeal's eyes had been deadly serious. He knew it was over now; he would turn them over to the Council, he'd be sent _there_, _Cloud_ would be sent there, Tseng would be demoted from the position he'd fought so hard to win, everything would be ... ruined.

"... because I am one of you."

Reno opened his eyes to see Angeal smiling faintly in amusement down at him, his softly glowing eyes bright in the darkness of the room.

"I spoke to Cloud last night, through your phone. He told me what you guys are fighting for, he told me everything. And I want to help. I don't want to live in a world surrounded by people who know only hate. It's not who I am; and it's not who we, ShinRa, are either. I want to make this world a better place, same as Cloud does ... same as all of us do." The dark haired ShinRa had one hand extended, and in it Reno's silver phone was nestled innocently. Feeling as if in a daze, Reno took the phone back and flipped it open after an encouraging look from Angeal.

Pressing the button that opened his contacts list - with eleven numbers, nine his classmates, one Cloud's and the last an unknown, new one. He looked closer to the newest number, and cracked a weak grin when he saw what it was.

An unfamiliar number scrolled across the bottom of the screen. But it was the name that left no doubt.

_The Angel._

Reno flipped the phone closed, and looked up at Angeal, who was showing him another screen, his own phone, with Reno's, Cloud's and Tseng's numbers (and code-names) already entered.

Feeling as if some ceremony or recognition of the momentous occasion was required, Reno threw aside his shock, extended one hand and shook Angeal's enthusiastically.

"Welcome to the team, yo!"

* * *

"There are two primary forms of Jenova's Beacon; this here," Lazard pulled the blackened rock back out, all eyes immediately falling to it, "is the most impure form. The ash of the Beacon was soaked into the ground surrounding the mountains, and mixed into the earth already there, creating a sort of weakened version of the Beacon. This form is the most common, and the least concentrated.

"There is another form, it's polar opposite I guess you could say, but it is one I don't have with me today, for the reason that it does not truthfully exist any longer." Lazard moved to an open laptop on his desk and clicked in a cable that attached it to a projector. A fuzzy image appeared on the board at the front of the class, and they all shuffled in their seats in an attempt to see it better. Then, with a little adjusting from Lazard, it snapped into focus, and it was all Cloud could do not to scream.

His necklace.

It was_ his necklace_.

* * *

Reno slipped back into the classroom and smirked at Cissnei when she looked disappointed he hadn't been punished more severely. Angeal was behind him, however, so he moved quickly to his seat and ignored the questioning whispers Cissnei shot at him.

_So ... that makes four of us now! _ he thought gleefully. _Cloud, me, Tseng and Angeal. Three years since Cloud came to this place, and he's made three converts! ... ugh. By this stage, we'll all be dead and gone before we hit even a fraction of the Tower, yo. _

Tapping his fingers against the table, he read the carved tagging that had accumulated over the years, and lost himself in his thoughts, in plans of how to extend their reach faster.

_Dena loves Michaell! _

_Julian was here March 14._

_Verdot is a bookworm!_

_1, A. 2, D. 3, False. 4, -_

_I am so hungry ..._

_This guy just won't shut up!_

You_ won't shut up. _

_Who's this?_

_Who's _this_?_

_Bhen, year 4._

_I am _so_ telling Kadaj on you._

_Both of you, you're destroying the desks! Stop it before the teacher finds out!_

Reno's eyes wandered over the familiar scribblings, smiling at his own and pausing over any new additions to the jumbled artwork of generations of students.

_For a good time, call Kae, ---------_ The number had been crossed out by a different coloured pen, and the words _Kae is gay!_ had been written in that same colour underneath it.

But Reno's eyes paused on the scribbled out numbers, an idea sparking.

It had been done before, ever since the birth of the cellphone and email addresses, and would no doubt be done again for generations to come. But for now, it would serve his purpose.

After all, at the age of fourteen, the age when Trainee Turks received their first cell phones, all Trainees also received their first laptops, along with email accounts linked to their instructors to give them homework and test dates, as well as for the students themselves to interact among other year levels and get to know each other better.

Of course, with ShinRa nature being what it is, someone had long since hacked the mailing system.

All Reno had to do was type a few letters, add a few numbers, press a few buttons, and _bam_. It was so simple, an idiot could have managed it. He'd received his fair share of spam mail himself.

Now, it was his turn to _send_ some.

* * *

"Pure Jenova's Beacon is not only ridiculously rare, but also ridiculously expensive and dangerous. It is in this form that only a speck would kill; the less pure form, in reality, takes a bit more than a pinch of powered Beacon to kill, what with the mixture of natural, harmless minerals it had mixed into over time.

"The last time Pure Jenova's Beacon was found was over a hundred years ago by a Human explorer in the Western Alps; this is the only picture that was taken of it before it was removed to a secure, unknown location, and destroyed."

Cloud wasn't taking notes anymore. His pen had rolled from his limp fingers, across the wooden desk and clattered onto the floor noisily. His other hand was twitching, fighting the urge to curl around his pendant necklace through the loose fabric of his shirt.

_Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh_ fuck!

The pendant he'd worn for so many years - the necklace Elena, his _Ma_, had given him, the stone he'd held in such high regard for so long - had just been proven to be ...

"Now, the most interesting thing about this entire thing is that when Mt Nibel was created, as I said earlier, exactly seven years later Jenova arrived on our Planet.

"And just over three years ago, Mt Nibel erupted once again."

Cloud paled dramatically at the sudden, unpleasant reminder, even while the rest of the room burst into whispers and gasps and squeals of delight. Lazard watched in content happiness as the twenty or so children shared in their delight, in the knowledge that they might have the chance, the rare opportunity, see meet their one and only creator - to meet the woman of legend, to meet the one who had started it all. To meet Jenova.

Because if what Lazard was saying, was _true_ ... then Jenova _was_ coming back. She was returning to the Planet she had graced with her children._ She was coming_ _back_.

* * *

Reno spent the entire of his time before dinner typing up a letter of introduction, searching on the internet for suitable pictures and adding those for effect. He added a few personal touches in the form of colours and formats, before entering a passcode in the 'To:' section, and pressing 'send' with a satisfied, almost _evil_ look on his face. Closing his laptop with a sound click, he cast his gaze around the common room and his nine classmates, watching as they responded to the light _dings!_ that echoed each other. Reno popped his own laptop open when he heard his own _ding_, and read the received email with glee. It was untraceable - he'd made sure of that - and the tone was unlike anything he'd ever written in school, so none of his instructors would be able to link it back to him.

It was perfect.

At first, they would be sceptical; wondering if, perhaps, a Human had hacked their network, or if it was some joke mail that had been passed around. He'd let it simmer for a while, until it began to fall to the backs of their minds, until it began to be forgotten; then, he'd send out another one. He'd bring fresh information, he'd reintroduce the idea to their minds and he'd reawaken the memories. He'd continue with this pattern, for as along as it took until someone replied, or until he started seeing a _difference_. After all, a difference was what they were fighting for. A change.

And this way, they might finally be getting that change.

* * *

"Tomorrow we'll be having quiz on this topic, I've informed your tutor, Ms-" he craned his neck to squint at something on the teacher's desk, "-Bieni will be taking you," he paused when half the students moaned at the name of one of the less popular Human instructors, "and I can tell by the _delighted_ looks on your faces that you're all looking forward to it _so_ much! Class dismissed."

Cloud packed his notes away mechanically, his body on auto-drive while his mind exploded inside him.

"Hey! Hey, Cloud, wha'did ya think of _that_, huh?" Zack bounded up beside him, his eyes gleaming and smile trembling in a way that suggested he was about to burst into laughter.

"... it was ... interesting," Cloud replied quietly, his eyes lowered as he clutched his arch-lever folder closer.

"Interesting?! I think it was _bull_-" Zack cut off abruptly when Lazard stepped up beside them, his eyebrow raised as if daring Zack to finish his sentence. "-uh, I mean, it was awesome! Best lesson of my _life!_ Heh ..." Lazard moved on, and Zack didn't even try to hide his laughter.

Cloud wasn't laughing, though. He moved past Zack, the dark-haired Trainee floating after him and chattering away. His thoughts were running circles in his mind, chasing after each other, multiplying and choking him.

Because ... if what Lazard had said was true ... then shouldn't he have died already? Most, if not all, of the food he'd eaten as a child was grown in Nibelheim, or hunted. There was bound to be _some_ Beacon in those produces, it was inevitable. So why hadn't he died? Forget that, why wasn't everyone at Nibelheim waking up the next morning with no clue of who they are?! Something wasn't right here, Cloud could feel it.

_Maybe the people at Nibelheim are immune to it ... no, that can't be right; Lazard said there was no antidote. _

_But ... if that's true ... then I should be dead._

Cloud let the constant buzz of Zack's voice flow past him. All he could think - the only thought that consumed his mind - was this:

_I should not be alive._

* * *

The man with dark hair strode down a wooden walkway, with one side open onto wide gardens of crisp green grass and flowering trees, a beautiful oasis pooled to one side with tiny white stones shimmering beneath the surface. The man's golden eyes swept over the pristine image before him before he marched on, his hands clenching at his side in subdued anger.

_This is the day ... finally, I can get my revenge _...

He stormed into the room at the end of the corridor, startling the members inside; a tiny girl, beneath his notice, a pale woman with distant eyes, a lumbering man with a heavy heart, a lanky teenager bearing a scarred face, a trio of warriors crouched over a bench, a china-like girl kneeling at her father's feet, a dark-skinned veteran cradling his pale daughter, and last but not least, the one who had made all this possible.

The newcomer marched to the wooden throne - barely even a throne, merely a elevated seat of bare wood - and knelt before it, his burning eyes lowered in submission.

He spoke with perfect poise, his words the exact mixture of anger and respect that was expected of one ... of his circumstance.

_They'll pay for what they did to me ... for what they _took_ from me ..._

The king rose, and pressed a hand to his head, welcoming him. _Finally ..._

The teenager walked to him, speaking cynical words of welcome, of return, and leading him away, to rooms he hadn't seen in months, handing his weapons he hadn't drawn in weeks.

Finally ... he was home.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Confused yet? Anyway, have any of you done the thing Reno found on his desk? Have you ever been bored in class and started a conversation with someone else who shares your desk for a different period? It's really fun! :) Just make sure you do it in pencil in case a teacher sees you ... then they can't prove _anything!_

**Next: **Part Four, Chapter Five: Disease. _Cloud finds that as time passes, people change and show their true colours. Zack tests the tentative bond the two have formed. _


	25. Part Four, Chapter Five

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Important Author's Note:** Oh my _god!_ I swear, this timeline is out to get me! Okay, so I finally decided to write all this down in a logical timeline so I could figure out what is happening.

Turns out, Reno is actually just about to turn _fifteen_, not sixteen. He's two years younger than I thought he was, now. There are only eleven years of SOLDIER Training, not twelve like I thought there were. Cloud supposedly spent an extra two months in limbo doing ... _something_. I don't know what. And everyone else is younger than they're supposed to be, except Zack, who seems to be some kind of Time Lord and broke the time/space continuum in order to go forward a year and screw around with my head?

The good news is, now everything fits into the plans I have for later on in the story :).

Anyway, I've gone back and revised the whole last six or so chapters to tweak their ages in order to match the new plan - that's why this chapter is later than it could have been. So much for a relaxing holiday.

Oh ... before I forget. I have a bone to pick with you guys. (Grumpy face.) How is it, I have _fifty_ people on alert ... yet I only get six reviews!? Fifty alerts!! _Six reviews!!!!_ C'mon people!!! The guys who _do_ review, I am utterly and completely _in love_ with you! You are the people that keep me going! But the rest of you, _please_, I cannot do this on my own! It's like being ruler of the world ... c'ept everyone's dead. Not much fun. _Please?! _

**Warning:** More unoriginal swearing. If anyone has some good swear words they wanna suggest, I'm all ears. I think Reno's getting tired of using the same two words over again, too. :)

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Disease' by Sevendust, 'What Do You Want From Me' by Adam Lambert, and because it has an awesome drum beat, I spent most of this chapter boogying to 'Undisclosed Desires' by Muse. Also while eating Chilli Bean and Hot Chilli Sauce Wraps. (breathes fire and steam.)

**Lyrics:**_ Destroy all you see; tattoo the world; change everything. Save the world for me ... tattoo the world ..._ - Disease by Sevendust.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Five: Disease**

_**Before you click that nifty little button up the top there that says "Delete," wait. There's something important you need to know, that all of you need to know. **_

_**Everything they ever, ever told you was a lie. **_

_**And right here, right now, I'm going to tell you the unadulterated, raw, **_**real**_**, truth. **_

Tseng raised an eyebrow, and scrolled down.

_**Growing up, you are told that ShinRa are superior and that Humans are good only for breeding and glory-mongering. This is the first lie I will unravel. **_

_**This lie originates from the early days of ShinRa, when they first walked this Planet and strutted about for all to see. The native culture of the Planet, the Humans, were at first disgusted by the ShinRa's unearthly grace and power, and persecuted against them ruthlessly. **_

_**In hindsight, this is one of the worst things they could have done.**_

Sephiroth paused, a hidden, almost forgotten desire burning in his throat. Finally, _finally_ he'd found someone who could understand; finally he'd found someone who could explain what had been unexplainable for so, so long. Pushing a strand of long silver hair over his shoulder, he glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and read on eagerly.

_**The ShinRa quickly grew frustrated of their treatment at they hands of Humanity. They tried very, very hard to win the Humans over to their side, protecting them from harm and death. Eventually, their hard work paid off. It started with a Human Priest, who, upon meeting a Child of ShinRa, was convinced the boy was a God reborn into their world. Soon, this idea spread to the rest of the Planet, and within a matter of years, ShinRa went from the Pariahs of the world, to their Heroes. **_

_**Soon, it came to be that Humanity placed so much faith in ShinRa and worshipped them so thoroughly, that they came to forget their own religions, in favour of bowing before the glory of ShinRa.**_

Abei, sitting in his luxurious apartment at the peak of the Tower, felt his face darkening with every word. Where had this person found this information!? It was supposed to have been buried, long ago - _forgotten_. Why now? Why had it resurfaced at such a fragile time? If he ever found the person who wrote this ... his eyes narrowed at the thought.

_**Over the centuries, it became second nature for Humans to worship ShinRa as they once had their various, forgotten, Gods and Goddesses. Humans forgot what it was they praised the ShinRa for, inevitably replacing the infallible image of Gods with the infallible image of ShinRas. Their children were taught that a ShinRa must always come first, that they were the superior race, and soon this attitude was passed onto the ShinRa themselves. **_

_**ShinRa were not always arrogant. **_

_**In the early days of ShinRa, they were humble beings who knew their existence on the Planet was a rare, treasured opportunity. They were soon, however, poisoned by the treatment given to them by Humans all around the world. **_

_**The result of which can finally be seen here, today, in a society where ShinRa have forgotten that they are not, in fact, Lords of the Planet, but visitors; it is Humanity who are the true leaders of the world we live in today. Humans have existed and evolved for millions of years; ShinRa have existed for barely five thousand. **_

_**This concludes my first lesson in the wrong that is our world; take note of it. **_

_**Signed**_

_**S.A.**_

When Cloud saw the initials it was signed with, he choked back a strangled laugh. He was sitting with his back against the half-dome at the peak of the Tower, Reno's laptop open on his knees with Reno standing proudly beside him.

"Well?" he asked, preening already. "Wha'dya think? Cool, huh?"

"It's great," Cloud smiled weakly up at Reno. He wasn't much in the mood for what Reno seemed to be; all he could think about was ...

His hand crept up to the rose-coloured pendant around his neck, and he closed his eyes tightly.

"Cloud? Hey, blondino, what's up, yo?" Reno, finally realising something was wrong, crouched beside Cloud anxiously.

"It's ... nothing."

"My ass it's nothin', you've been mopin' even more than usual, yo! Give."

Cloud sighed and folded the laptop closed, placing it to one side before drawing his legs up and holding them tightly.

"Have you learnt about J-Jenova's Beacon in class yet?"

"Course. Learnt it ages ago. Why?"

"We learnt about it today. And ... he showed us a picture of Pure Beacon. And - and it looks just l-like-" Cloud couldn't speak, so instead he drew the necklace out from under his shirt, and cradled it in the palm of his hand as he slowly opened his fingers to reveal the innocently sparkling stone. It was worn smooth now, from months of wearing it around his neck, and before that from years of having it nestled under his foot. The stone had a beautiful shine and finish to it, making it even more alluring that it had been before. Of course, now that Cloud knew the reason for that allure, he felt a mixture of disgust, fear, and painful longing every time he thought of the necklace. Disgust, for the power and destruction something so innocent could wreck on the world. Fear, for himself and the others around him; if he fell, or the stone broke, the dust could kill them all, and he didn't think he could bear to live with himself if that happened. And painful longing, because this was something his _mother_ had given him; for all that it was the most dangerous weapon in the world ... how could he throw it away, if it was all he had left to remind him of her?

"Holy _fuckin'_ shit!" Reno was spluttering, falling away from Cloud and tripping on the open hatch, landing on the metal with a loud thunk. "Cloud, put that the fuck away! _Cloud!_"

"What?"

"Put that Planet _damned_ thing away! _Now,_ yo!!"

Cloud closed his fingers over the stone, ignoring the way Reno winced as if expecting the Tower to collapse under them, and let it fall back under his shirt. A sigh of relief Reno didn't even try to muffle washed over them, and Cloud looked up at the red-haired Trainee, darkly amused.

"I haven't seen you that scared in ... ever," Cloud said, a small, teasing smile in the corner of his lips. His eyebrow twitched a little, as if to rise.

"Don't - _do_ that shit to me, Cloud!" Reno was gasping, panting, as if having run a marathon. "You scared the fuckin' _life_ out of me!!"

"It's just a stone-" Cloud protested in a weak voice he hated the moment it was heard.

"-Just a stone!? _Just a stone!?_ Cloud, do you know what that 'just a stone' could _do _ to us?!" Reno ranted, stamping towards Cloud who pushed himself to his feet hastily and pressed himself against the wall, trying to escape the burning look in Reno's eyes. "You're gonna kill us all, you moron!"

"Ma gave it to me," Cloud found the strength to whisper.

Reno, chest heaving and eyes lit up like a sun at midday, stared at Cloud incredulously for a long, long moment before he sagged and pressed his hands to his forehead, groaning deep in his throat.

"Cloud-"

"It's all I have to remind me of her."

"Look, blondie-"

"Reno, you can't tell me to-"

"It's gonna _kill_ us if that gets out-"

"Then what the hell do you suggest I _do_!?"

Reno blinked and stared at the uncharacteristic outburst from the usually timid blonde. The younger ShinRa was red-faced, his eyes even brimming a little with unshed tears.

"This was Ma's, and now it's _mine_. I can't just - throw it away!"

"Cloud-"

"And how would I go about that, anyway? Just toss it down the sink and hope it never comes back to haunt me? If I throw it in the bin, they'll link it back to me, and I'll be sent - _there_. If I tell a teacher about it, they'll tell someone important, and we'll _both_ go there. If I throw it out the window, it'll shatter, or worse someone could pick it up! I'll have the death of hundreds, if not _thousands_ of ShinRa on my hands if this ever gets into the City Water Supply! I can't burn it, the smoke alone'll wipe the memory of everyone in Midgar! Don't you _get_ it, Reno? I can't ... I can't _do_ anything."

Reno watched at Cloud let his head tip back against the metallic wall, flattening his natural spikes against the flat surface.

"You've thought about it a lot, yo," Reno finally said at length.

"Hm," Cloud gave a non-committal hum, closing his eyes and shivering at the feel of the wind passing over his vulnerable throat - not at the crisp cold, merely the sensation. There was never any wind inside the Tower, but for computer generated sensations in the Virtual Training Rooms. It reminded him of home, standing here at the peak of the city with untainted air washing over him.

Reno watched his closest friend relax, knowing the blonde needed this moment of letting his guard down; he couldn't do it anywhere else. He leant against the opposite wall, folded his arms loosely, and turned his head until it was looking out past the narrow corridor formed by the space between the two domes, watching as low cloud and mist spiralled past.

The silence lengthened, to the point where it made the two stubborn Trainees squirm uncomfortably, neither wanting to be the ones to break and give in first. Until, finally,

"I'm sorry for yellin' at you."

Cloud opened his eyes and looked over at the red-head, who was pointedly avoiding meeting his gaze.

"I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that, yo," Reno muttered. "I know you can't do anythin' about it ... I just ..."

"I know," Cloud said reassuringly, a sad look overcoming his young face. "How do you think I felt when I first found out the truth about it? I ... I shouldn't be here, Reno. The stone should have killed me years ago, but it hasn't. And I don't know _why_." The last sentence was whispered, nothing more than a ghost of breath through numb lips.

"Maybe we should just take things at face value, yeah?" Reno still hadn't torn his gaze from the rolling sky beyond the shadows they stood in. "Don't question it, just let it be."

"I still don't like it..." Cloud muttered darkly.

"I don't either, blondie, but we gotta get by with what we got, and I've got nothin', yo."

Cloud shifted uneasily, clearly unhappy with Reno's plan of actions, even though he was right; they had nothing to go by, their only option was to walk on blindly until something happened.

He just really didn't want to find out what that "something" would be.

* * *

Just over a month later, June struck the Tower with a joy Cloud had only seen once before, during his first three months with his kin - every year since, he'd been in Reconditioning.

It was the Birthday.

Most, if not all, ShinRa were born in or around the month of June, because most if not all ShinRa were conceived in the Gatherings, held on the first day of September every year without fail. Most ShinRa were held to term, and born healthily in June; some were early, in May, and even more late in July. But even so, it went without saying that ShinRa of all ages and sex celebrated their day of birth on the same month of the year.

The first day of that month was when the Trainees shed their last year's uniform and donned their new one; it was also when they achieved the privileges such an age granted them. For Turks, this meant that the new Year Eight's were taken to the Warehouse on the edge of town, and taught how to kill. The Year Nine Turk Trainees were given laptops and cellphones, forms of communication between each other. Similarly, Year Nine SOLDIER Trainees were given their first laptops, also. And as Zack, Cloud and the rest of their year were just now entering their "Ninth" year of Training, they were each presented with a small, blandly decorated box containing the first taste of freedom most of them had ever had in their life at the Tower.

One of the first things Cloud did was check and read through the emails Reno was still sending out, once every fortnight. Any newcomers to the "program" (as Reno called it) were directed first to a website Tseng had set up for him, where introductions, essays and explanations were offered to all and any who wanted them. Angeal had contributed the idea of a forum, where followers of their vision could meet anonymously and discuss their ideas together. So far, only three ShinRa had dared speak out in the forum, and with no way of telling who they were it was hardly productive ... but it was _something_ at least.

Just a few hours after being given those laptops, Cloud found himself surrounded by the indignant cries and exclamations of his classmates.

_How dare they say Humans are equal to ShinRa!?_

_Who does this guy think he is?_

_If I ever find out who these people are..._

_Don't worry, Kess, I'm sure they'll find them - I bet Abei's onto it as we speak!_

Cloud shook his head, and buried his head in the laptop, already working on his first contribution to the webpage: _Human Nature: From Love to Hate._ Reno had suggested it, Cloud knowing best of all of them just why Humans both feared, and despised ShinRa kind. They were hoping it would be finished just before it was time for the new email to be sent out, so that Tseng would have a few extra weeks to finish his own explanation of the degradation of ShinRa that had begun the tradition of mating ShinRa with Humans.

_Everything's moving so quickly, now,_ Cloud wondered as he stared blankly at the dimly glowing screen. He had made sure to snatch a seat in their new Common Room where no one would be able to glimpse his screen, and guess just what he was doing. _In seven months barely anything happened, and now so much is going on it's hard to keep up. _Reno's webpage statistics alone showed hundreds of hits a day to their new site; even if they were disregarding the information offered, they could be reassurred that at least _someone_ was reading it.

Sighing and clicking the screen closed, Cloud stashed it under his mattress before returning to the Common Room, where all that could be seen or heard was the clicking of buttons and keys. Hiding a smile at the glow from twenty computer screens that illuminated the early-afternoon, Cloud took a seat next to Zack on the sofa and watched as his friend explored the wonders of the digital world.

He fell into something of a stupor, lulled into a world of daydreams as the rhythmic clicking resonated through him.

So when Zack suddenly turned and asked Cloud what day his birthday was, it was an innocent enough question; ShinRa did not ask one another what month they were born with, as it went without saying it would lie within three certain months.

Cloud, not having yet realised this, answered innocently enough.

"Nineteenth," he replied. The other two of Zack's inseparable trio sat on a couch opposite them, and while they had not quite accepted Cloud into their group, yet neither had they rejected him; instead, they simply ignored him, as if by pretending he did not exist, he would slowly drift away, leaving their ringleader all to themselves.

"June?"

"What?"

"You're born in June, right?"

"... _why_ would you think that?" Cloud looked at Zack, bemused at the older Trainee's antics, though he didn't show it. Zack raised an eyebrow and shut his laptop slowly. Opposite, Lux and Kunsel mirrored him, listening in to the conversation with subdued interest.

"Oh, so you're born in May? You do look kinda small, even for someone your age," Zack ran his eyes over Cloud's petite form, and Cloud wriggled a little, settling further back into the couch uncomfortably.

"I'm not born in May, either," Cloud said, having progressed from curious to outright confused at the dark-haired teenager's words. "I was born in August."

Lux and Kunsel broke away from the murmured conversation they had barely started, and turned to stare at him unnervingly. Zack leant back, his eyes widening as he mulled through what the blonde had just revealed.

"...August? What, did your father have a hard time getting it up or something?"

"Zack!" Cloud gasped indignantly, glaring at him passively. He couldn't care less if Zack insulted Vincent; it was more the fact that Zack had insulted the Council member in such a crude way that had him glaring at the other boy.

"Was your mother infertile? I thought they scanned for that before they let them through."

"Za- _why_ are you _asking!?_" Cloud spluttered, his fingers digging into the cushion he sat on as he tried to restrain the anger that rose as Zack so casually insulted his parents. _Even if I really only care about _one_ of them ..._

"Well, it's one or the other, 'cause I've never heard of _anyone_ born so late in the year."

"Late? August is hardly _late_, Zack," Cloud frowned, trying to decipher whatever the other was attempting to say.

"Of course it is! That's, what, eleven months! Pregnancies don't last that long, Cloud," Zack's face was deep in serious thought, Lux and Kunsel opposite him doing the exact same thing. Then, suddenly, Lux's eyes widened in realisation.

"You weren't born from the Gathering?"

"The Gathering? What does the Gathering have to do with ... oh," Cloud trailed off as realisation hit. The Gathering was when ShinRa and Human met to conceive children - so of _course_ all the Children would be born around the same time! _Oh ... shit_.

So far, Cloud had managed to keep his Human upbringing from the rest of his alarmingly curious classmates. He'd told them early that he was raised away from the Tower, but he was willing to bet they'd forgotten all about it, or disregarded it as being raised at one of the ShinRa-bought homes in another city. Of all of them, only Zack knew he'd come from Reconditioning; the others thought he'd been brought up from the year below. And even Zack didn't know _why_ he'd been sent to Reconditioning. _Looks like I won't be keeping a secret much longer ..._ he thought sadly. _And just when I was beginning to get used to him, too. _

"No, I wasn't born from the Gathering," Cloud confirmed, cringing a little.

"Woah," Kunsel gaped, shifting forward in his seat eagerly. "How'd you get born, then? Are both your parents ShinRa?"

"No," Cloud said, half hoping the short, choppy answer would dissuade the boys from pressing.

It didn't.

"Then how'd your parents meet? Was it on a mission, or something?"

"I'm not sure," Cloud edged around the question. "My mother never told me."

"Your mother was a ShinRa, right?" Lux's eyes were brighter than usual as he leant forward hungrily. Cloud pressed himself even further back into the couch, as if willing it to swallow him up.

"N-No," he stumbled over the words.

"Oh, your parents are _married_ then?" Zack exclaimed, as if solving the world's mysteries.

"Um - no," Cloud was staring to get annoyed. Couldn't they just leave it alone?!

"C'mon, Clou', tell us! Were you-"

"You weren't born in the Tower at all, were you?" Lux interrupted abruptly, his face smug and as sure of himself like never before. "I remember you said you were raised away from it, back when we first met you. But the Council didn't authorise your birth at all, did it Cloud?"

Zack froze mid-sentence and stared at Lux for a long second, before turning to Cloud for confirmation.

Cloud didn't say a word; instead, he pushed himself off the couch and started towards his room, his face that had over the last few weeks begun to thaw, became cold and closed off in the blink of an eye.

"Wait - Cloud!" Zack called, rushing after his friend, but before he could reach him, the door was closed with a definitive click.

* * *

Reno flicked through the pages of the website he'd designed with the help of Tseng, under the guise of a quick course on Hacking. This month would be his fifteenth birthday, only one year until he began the gruelling years of the Tests. Really, SOLDIER Trainees had it easy - they took exams at the end of their fifteenth year, and that was it. On their sixteenth birthdays, they graduated as proud SOLDIERs. Turks - please. If graduating was _that_ easy, everyone would be Turks. There was a reason the ratio of SOLDIER to Turk was so low, and it wasn't because the death rate was so much higher in Turks, either.

Pausing on the forum Angeal had suggested, Reno watched in awed amazement as, even as he watched, two more anonymous ShinRa logged in and started debating various areas of the Human - ShinRa argument. When he'd come up with the email plan, he hadn't even dreamt it would escalate into something like this!

Cloud had even been suggesting having a guest Human log onto the forum form outside the Tower, an educational experience of a sort, giving the two usually separate species a change to talk and exchange views without the weight of the Council's eyes pressing down on them.

_I think we could really be onto something, here_, Reno thought to himself with amazement, smiling at something the red-coloured ShinRa had written. _I think this might finally be our chance to make a difference in the world ..._

* * *

When Zack and the others began to reluctantly file out for dinner, Lux hovered at the rear of the group, claiming the need to re-tie his shoelace. When the last silvery-grey back had vanished around the corner, he stood quickly from where he knelt, and stalked back into the Common Room, making a beeline for the one door that remained closed. He didn't knock, he didn't clear his throat, he didn't hesitate or ask for permission; he threw the door open, and marched right up to where the youngest Trainee in his year was pushing himself off the bed. Feeling his eyes light up, he pushed the other blonde back down onto the bed, ignoring his protests and cries of anger, then flipped a long strand of dirty-blonde hair over his shoulder, folded his arms, and _looked_ at him.

"I know where you're from," he started, cutting straight to the heart of the matter.

"What are you-"

"I know where you went."

"Lux-"

"And, I know _why_ you went there."

Cloud stared up at Lux, his face emotionless even as his eyes flared violently.

"What are you talking about?" his voice was low, hinting on dangerous, but Lux didn't back down; if anything, his eyes burned brighter in response.

"You were raised by _Humans_-" Lux spat angrily, "-then you were brought here, then you were sent to _Reconditioning_-" Cloud flinched violently at the term, only sparking further victory in Lux's eyes, "-and you went there because those _Humans_ did something to you. They made you _weak_."

Cloud knew it would be pointless to deny it. "How do you-"

"I have eyes, _Cloud_, I'm not blind like so many of our year mates. I saw the scars in the changing rooms. I talked to one of the instructors about it, and they told me where you've been. Where you came from."

"Why do you care so much?"

"...because you don't belong here, Cloud," Lux glared. "You're a weak link in the armour of ShinRa, and I _won't_ let you endanger my classmates. You _love_, Cloud, and one day, it's going to _kill_ one of us."

"You don't know that," Cloud protested, trying again to stand only to be pushed back down by Lux. "No one knows the future, Lux."

"I may not know the future, but I at least have common sense. What ever they were supposed to do to you in Reconditioning, it didn't work, did it?"

"I can assure you, the methods they used were very, _very_ effective," Cloud replied in a voice bordering a growl. Lux actually blinked for a moment in the face of emotion Cloud hadn't shown so blatantly in _years_, before regaining his determination and ploughing on.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, I _do_," Cloud said, his voice gaining strength with every word. "You, Lux, are an _idiot_ if you think they would _ever_ let me leave if it wasn't with full loyalty to my own kind."

"I - you-"

"If you breathe a _word_ of what you've said to me here to anyone else, I can assure you, they will come. And they will find _nothing wrong,_" Cloud hadn't felt like this in so long. Power hummed through his body, he revelled in it, pouring through his veins like molten fire. He stood, finally, and glared up at Lux, who actually cringed. "This is _exactly_ what they wanted me to be, Lux, I can assure you. This is what they _forced_ me to become. Who are you to question them?"

"I know it was you!" Lux finally spluttered, even as he stepped back from the invisible weight that crushed him. "Th-The emails, I know they're from you!"

"Really?" Cloud raised an eyebrow. "And how do you suppose I did that when I didn't even have a laptop until this morning, hm?"

Lux opened his mouth to answer, but no words came, and his protests died down to nothing. Gathering the tattered remains of his pride, Lux glared weakly at Cloud and started to back out of the room.

"I know it was you, no matter what you say! I'll be watching you, Cloud, and the _moment _I can prove it was you, you'll be sent back _there_ in a heartbeat!"

"I'd like to see you _try_," Cloud smirked with a partly false confidence, stepping forward to slam the door behind the trembling Trainee as he started at a hurried pace to meet up with the others at dinner. Cloud didn't follow; he crept back to his bed instead and sat cross-legged on the ruffled covers, thinking over what had just happened. His fingers absently stroked the rose coloured pendant through the shirt (a shade darker now that he was a year older.)

Times were changing, he realised. With the exposure to information, to the realisation that they might not be the almighty they believed themselves to be, there had been a noticeable change among ShinRa. Lux was by far not the first to burst out in anger or disbelief at someone he believed to be the culprit. All over the Tower, SOLDIERs and Turks had been seen accusing and screaming denials. Just in the last week, he'd already seen the plane that took people _there_ leave twice. ShinRa were becoming more violent, less restrained with their prejudices. Inadvertently, by trying to bring common sense to their kin, Cloud and his companions had raised the tension between the two species to a whole new level. And he knew soon one of them - whether it would be Human Kind or ShinRa was yet to be seen - was going to snap.

_Things were always gonna get worse before they got better_, Cloud reasoned silently. _But I really don't wanna see just _how_ bad it's gonna get ..._

* * *

**Next:** Part Four, Chapter Six: Attack. _Zack and Cloud finally come to heads. _


	26. Part Four, Chapter Six

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Hah! No, your eyes are not deceiving you! This really is an update! (gasp) I've been an awful author ... I'm sorry this is so incredibly late ... "real life" caught up with me with a sledgehammer and a ton of school work (school started up again a while ago, much to my displeasure.) This would have been up earlier today, but for some reason my word processor decided to delete all the scene breaks and the occasion "space" between words. Of course, it didn't help that I got major, _major_ Writer's Block on this chapter. I had to try four times before I found a beginning that fit. And I think it took me a full week to write the scene of Zack and Cloud fighting. Grr.

Anyway, a little warning, this chapter isn't up to the best of my abilities, I still need to figure out the plot for the rest of his part. I just ... don't like how this chapter turned out. It seems very forced - but it had to be done! :( Silly plot. Work with me, here!

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Attack' by 30 Seconds to Mars, 'Follow Me' by Breaking Benjamin, and a band recommended by my Business-School Buddy Tessa, 'No More Room to Breathe' by There For Tomorrow.

**Lyrics:**_ Your promises, they look like lies; your honesty like a back that hides a knife. I promise you ... I _promise_ you ... _-Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Six: Attack**

The morning after the disastrous revelation that had dumbfounded the students of Cloud's class, he left his bedroom - already showered and dressed for the day - as if expecting nothing different to the casual observance or occasional nod of acknowledgement he had received before.

But today - this morning - nothing. It wasn't like the months before, when they had simply been unaware of his existence; now, they shied away from his as if he was sick or infected, as if there was something visibly _wrong_ with him. Whenever he came close to hearing range of any of his classmates, it was as if polarisation was in effect, and they would move swiftly and smoothly away, leaving a definable circle of space around him that refused to be filled.

It hurt Cloud, both that something so personal had been spread so quickly, and that they could turn on him for something as trivial as his upbringing. Instead of picking up an empty conversation with a classmate, as he would have only the day before, he sat in his second favourite chair (his favourite having been taken by a subtly smirking Lux) and thought deeply, darkly. If racism and discrimination ran this deep in theyouth of ShinRa, who were after all the _future_ of ShinRa ... Planet, they had a lot of work cut out for them.

Of course, subconsciously, he never dreamed the feeling of becoming an over-night pariah would ever transcend onto his newest friend; so when he approached Zack, he was not surprised to find that the same isolation the others had forced on him wasn't there.

But in other ways, what_ had_ happened was much, much worse.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zack's voice was quiet, betrayed, hurt in a way Cloud wished it never would be again.

"What?" Cloud gasped, staring at Zack incredulously, standing frozen in his place as the accusation in Zack's voice.

"Why didn't you tell me you used to live with _Humans?_" Zack didn't quite spit the word out, but he did sound it with a hint of the disregard, or superiority, that most ShinRa did. Cloud felt his heart sinking; true, he had known deep in his heart that Zack would be just as all ShinRa were modified to be, but he had still hoped that maybe, just maybe, Zack was different ...

"Zack ... I _couldn't_," Cloud urged, wrapping his fingers tightly around Zack's clothed arm, who refusing to meet his eyes. "You _have_ to understand-"

"_What is there to understand!_ You - lied to me-"

"I _never_ lied, Zack! When did I _ever_ say I grew up in the Tower-?"

"It goes without saying that's what I thought you meant! You should have - told me, Cloud, even if you didn't lie outright, you deliberately let me misinterpret your situation. In my eyes, that's as good as, if not _worse_ than lying."

"Zack, you don't _know_ what I've been through," Cloud hissed, actually stung that Zack had the audacity to blame him for trying to keep something secret he felt was well within his rights to.

"What? That you were raised by _Humans!_ Don't you think that's something I ought to _know_?" Zack cried, pulling his arm out from Cloud's hold and twisted around to face him properly. The rest of the students were gathered in a loose circle, some sitting, some standing, some pretending to read or study while really listening with a keen ear, some facing entirely the other direction with unfocused eyes reflecting the shifting colours of the monitors. All of them were there, Lux and Kunsel hiding amid a group of other active boys, but neither Cloud nor Zack noticed any of them, so caught in their argument that all else had faded away.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't _want_ you to know!"

Zack blinked, in all honestly dumbfounded by a suggestion he hadn't contemplated even once throughout the course of his sleepless night.

"I - you - _why?_"

"There are things in my past I can't expect you to understand," Cloud explained through gritted teeth, one of his arms crossing to hug himself weakly. "Things I don't ... _want_ you to understand. We all have secrets, Zack. Why can't you let me keep mine?"

Zack stared down at Cloud, unmoving for a long, long moment, before huffing sharply and shaking his head in dismissal.

"There _are_ _no secrets_ in the Tower, Cloud-"

_That's what you think,_ Cloud glowered privately.

"-and if you want to continue to - to _be_ here, I suggest you find a way to get those secrets out in the open-"

"You want me to just _bare_ my life out for all of you to see?" Cloud gasped indignantly. "How dare you? I barely know a thing about you, Zack, but you expect me to tell you everything about _me_ when we've barely known each other a month?"

"You barely know me? _I_ barely know _you!_ You've said all of ten words to me in the past four weeks we've known each other-"

"That's not true-"

"It might as well be for all we've done together!" Zack shouted. "Friends are supposed to tell each other about themselves-"

"So why haven't you!"

"_Because I don't know you!_"

"You don't know me? Can't you get it into your _thick head_, I don't _want_ you to know me! _No one_ can truly _know_ me if they want to ... if they keep ..." Cloud closed his eyes tightly, his breathing erratic and his heartbeat jumping so loudly, all in the room could feel it.

"Whatever friendship is _supposed_ to be ... it isn't this," Zack stated quietly, folding his arms with an air of finality about him.

Cloud's eyes flew open.

"Zack, _no_-"

"It's clear you don't want to be my friend," Zack cut across him persistently. "And that's fine. I already have Lux, and Kunsel. I don't need you as well."

"Please-"

"Don't worry, you don't have to pretend any longer; we don't have to be friends anymore, Cloud," Zack finished, turning away. Lux stepped forward from where he had been listening, his eyes gleaming with suspicious victory. Cloud lurched forward desperately.

"No - Zack - fine, I'll tell you! Ev-everything. Anything you want to know. Just please, please don't go!" Cloud lowered a hand that had somehow raised itself hopefully, extended to Zack by his own unconscious will. "Don't leave me alone."

"You don't want this; you said it yourself," Zack started, but Cloud cut across him.

"No! I never said-"

"You said you didn't me to know you, that's just the same as saying you don't want to be friends-"

"It's not the _same_!" Cloud cried desperately. _Please, anything but this ..._ "Zack, I'll tell you _everything_ you want to know - about my Ma, Gareth, Nibelheim-" a few of the Trainees stirred at the name of the village Cloud has grown up in, apparently having not known it before, "-_everything_. Just don't ..."

Zack started to turn back, but before he could answer, Lux stepped from the sidelines, moving so he stood slightly in front of Zack with one arm tilted, as if protecting him.

"He already said no," Lux defended his friend against the younger blonde, whose eyes were beginning to glint with tears. "He doesn't need you. He already has me and Kunsel. He's had us for years, and he's done just fine. Face it." Lux's eyes met Cloud's cruelly, delivering the final blow with a cold, empty expression. "He doesn't want to be your friend anymore, Cloud."

Cloud felt something shudder through him - he wasn't sure what - and he turned his eyes to Zack, praying he would contradict his sneering friend.

Only ... he didn't.

"..._Zack_?" Cloud pressed. "Please, tell me he's ... tell me you're not ..."

"Lux is ... right," Zack sighed. "I don't need you, Cloud. And with the things ... people have been saying - rumouring - about you ... I can't be around you anymore." Zack smiled serenely, and shook his head slowly as he took a small step back. "I don't ... want you as a friend ... any longer."

"Look at me," Cloud ordered quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Look me in the eye, and tell me you don't want to know me."

Zack turned fully, stepped past Lux, and met Cloud's eyes squarely, unblinking.

"I don't want to know you ... I do not want to be your friend."

* * *

_Three days, twelve hours and five minutes._ That's how long it had been since that moment, the moment when everything had ended.

Those three days, ten hours and five minutes were spent mostly by Cloud crouched in a painfully tight ball on top of the Tower, Reno, Tseng or once even Angeal sitting with him in his solitude, silent comforts all of them, even Reno subdued in the face of his best friend's sorrow.

He hadn't thought it would hurt this much. It was just as he had said - he barely knew Zack. The loss of such a fragile friendship shouldn't have wounded him the way it had. He had Reno, and Tseng, and Angeal; _surely_ he didn't need Zack.

At least, that was what his mind was telling him. His heart was too busy screaming in pain to listen.

Tonight, Angeal was there, gazing out and upwards at the stars that glinted in the night.

"It's getting cold," he said absently, knowing Cloud wouldn't care. The blonde gave a non-committal hum, hugged his knees closer to his torso, and went back to staring at the dull metal with equally dull eyes, emotionless. Angeal shuddered at the look in the blondes eyes - Reno, having spoken to him earlier as they "changed shifts," told him the only other time he'd ever seen Cloud like this was in Reconditioning.

Angeal's heart had nearly broken when he'd heard that.

"Zack came to see me today," he finally remarked, regretting saying so almost immediately; Cloud's head shot up, and he stared at Angeal with wild, red-rimmed eyes.

"What?" he croaked.

"Zachary came to see me today, after class," Angeal confirmed in an even lower voice than before, trying and failing to meet Cloud's shadowed eyes. "He was wondering where you were."

"Huh," Cloud huffed in disbelief, lowering his head back to be cradled by his arms. "Like he cares."

"He was worried about you, Cloud," Angeal said, moving forward a little so he could see Cloud's face better, only for the Trainee to turn away and look out the opposite end of the thin corridor. "You've missed class and meals for three days. You can't go on like this, the Council's going to-"

"Fuck the Council," Cloud muttered angrily. "Couldn't care less what they ... they can send me there if they really want ... don't give a _shit_-"

"Cloud, language," Angeal told the younger ShinRa sternly, and Cloud actually paused and looked back at Angeal in surprise - it had been so long since someone had reprimanded for his language, that any kind of parental restriction had become a truly foreign feeling for him.

"Sorry," Cloud murmured, picking at his sleeve and catching a glimpse of the scarred skin beneath before he quickly pulled the smooth fabric back down, bunching it with his fingers so it kept his hand warm as well. Angeal watched sadly, having been told the story behind the scars also. That such a thing was condoned - encouraged - by the Council, was all that was needed to solidify his support of the Cause, as their purpose was now known as.

Cloud continued to dissect his surroundings with his eyes, awkwardly, before he finally surrendered to curiosity and began,

"What did he-?"

"Say?" Angeal finished for him, smiling when Cloud's lips twitched. "He said ... well ..."

* * *

"_Angeal?" Zack didn't knock at the office door - he never knocked when it came to his new mentor - but he didn't bounce in as he usually did, instead stood almost nervously in the doorway with his hand brushing the frame cautiously. Angeal looked up from a report he'd been writing, and smiled when he saw who it was. _

"_Zachary! Please ... come in," he gestured to a worn, comfortable couch Zack had long since claimed as his own, even before their mentor-student relationship had been made official. "Zack ... you look tired. You haven't been sleeping. What's on your mind?"_

"_I ..." Zack punched the leather sofa with one hand, gripping his fingers until the tips turned white. "I think ... I've made a terrible mistake."_

_Angeal's eyes lit with understanding, though he quickly hid it - after all, according to Zack, he hadn't just spent four weeks getting to know the reclusive blonde in occasional phone calls or snatched meetings between meals. _

"_What is it?"_

"_You - y'know Cloud?" Zack started, stuttering a little. Angeal nodded, and Zack continued hesitantly. "Well ... I found out that .... hewaskindaraisedby Humans."_

"_Sorry?" Angeal already knew what Zack was going to say - the rumour had flown halfway cross the Tower, and of course, he had been there in person to see the boy off from the Human town, but he feinted ignorance for Zack's sake - the boy needed this. _

"_I found out that ... he used to live with Humans," Zack whispered, his voice sounding almost scandalised. _

_Angeal arced an eyebrow, a trick he'd spent three weeks learning in the mirror with Genesis while they were still in Training. _

"_And?"_

_Zack let out a huff of frustrated breath and leaned forward sharply, holding his hands between his knees and glaring down at them. _

"_I ..." he closed his eyes, and when they opened again, they were by far softer than they had been. "Lux and I were talking late last night. He ... he told me ... things."_

"_What kind of things?" Angeal pressed gently. _

"_That ... Cloud was trying to bring down ShinRa, that he must be a spy for the Humans to try and figure out how we work. He told me - he told me Cloud was only using me ..." Zack quickly reached up and brushed away a tear before it could fall. Angeal didn't comment, only pretended he hadn't seen what could only, in Zack's eyes, be seen as an "unmanly" moment. _

"_Let me guess ... you believed him?"_

"_At first," Zack confirmed, drawing one leg up so he could wrap his arms loosely around it. "The next morning, I ... said some things I shouldn't have. I hurt Cloud ... I told him I didn't want to be his friend anymore."_

"_Did you mean it?"_

_Zack lowered his forehead to rest on his up-drawn knee, and didn't answer. _

_Angeal took a deep breath, Cloud's distraught face in his mind's eye, and continued,_

"_Zack, why did you come here?"_

"_It's like I told you," Zack said in a voice that cracked and bordered on the line between whisper and scream. "I made a mistake. And I don't ... know how to make it better." He tightened his fingers on his folded leg. "I need to make it better."_

"_Do you regret what you said to Cloud?" Angeal asked anxiously; could he had misinterpreted what Zack was saying?_

"_Y-yes. I do."_

"_Do you really?"_

_Zack opened his mouth, but any words that might have come died in his throat, and he lowered his eyes slowly. _

_Angeal slowly shifted off his office chair and crossed the room silently, lowering himself beside Zack. _

"_Zachary ... Zack. It ... just so happens that I have spoken with Cloud," Angeal watched as the younger ShinRa stiffened, and turned towards him until he could shoot him an enquiring look from the corner of one eye. _

"_How is he ...?" Zack whispered. _

"_He is ... not ... handling it very well," Angeal side-stepped the query awkwardly. "Zack - no, don't turn away, listen to me. Cloud is ... a very fragile being, though you wouldn't know it just by looking at him, or talking to him. You have to understand ... for nine years of his life, he lived in a village of people who all lived in close proximity to each other, where everybody knew everybody else. This was a place where they were encouraged to love, even more than usual for a Human town. It is likely that that village held no more than two hundred people, but all of them were people Cloud had grown up with, and known, and _loved_. _

"_Hold this image in your mind ... then imagine - loving that many people ... only to have each and every single one of them die - before your very eyes - in just one heartbeat."_

_Zack felt something in his chest clench painfully, and he swore his heart missed a beat. _

"_Wh-What?" _

"_Didn't you know, Zack?" Angeal tried to soften his voice, but truly, nothing could ease the pain of what he was about to reveal. "Nibelheim was destroyed. Cloud's hometown was ... destroyed. _

"_And with it, every single person Cloud had ever known, every single person he had ever loved, was taken from him."_

_Zack slowly sank back into the leather chair, breathing deeply and trying to imagine ... imagine, if he were sent from the Tower, and in his absence, for the Tower to be destroyed ... for every single person he had ever talked to, ever met in passing ... to die._

"_Oh Planet," he breathed. _

"_Exactly," Angeal replied in kind. "For us, who were taught to never love, we cannot fathom such a pain, only a shadow of it. What Cloud suffered that day, is something we as ShinRa will never know, nor ever fully understand; such a pain is something, normally, only felt by Humanity. _

"_... but think of yourself in Cloud's shoes; after suffering such an ordeal, after losing so much, being thrown into a world where up is down, where left is right - where his love and pain is disregarded, simply because we ourselves have never known such things._

"_And then, the final blow - to be forced into a place such as Reconditioning - Zack, you can't even imagine in your darkest _dreams_ what Cloud went through at that place. _I_ can't imagine what he went through at that place. But to suffer that, after suffering so much already ... Cloud is strong, stronger than anyone you will ever meet in your entire life, but even he had his limits. _

"_He doesn't show it ... he won't admit it ... but when he came back from that place, something inside him was broken. He wasn't the Cloud he used to be - how could he be, after everything he'd gone through?"_

_Zack was shaking now, his eyes closed tightly, trying both to imagine, and to not, what Cloud must have suffered. _

"_In the months since his return, before he met you, he retreated into his shell, - he hid and buried all that hurt, he concealed that broken part of him he would deny ever existed. But when you stepped forward and became his friend ... I saw him smile again."_

_Angeal smiled himself, remembering how, over the month of Zack's friendship, Cloud had visibly changed from the shell he had been to a happy, if extremely guarded, boy. _

"_Your friendship did more for him that you'd think, Zack," Angeal told his student in his low, calming voice. "I even believe you may have started to heal the damage that has marred his past." Zack raised his head at this, his eyes shining faintly with both happiness, realising just how he had helped the tiny blonde, and despair, for that aide might have all been in vain; for all that he had, unknowingly, healed the Trainee ... he may have, by turning his back, replaced the old hurt with a newer, even deeper one. _

"_What have I ..." he cursed through gritted teeth. "Why did I listen to ..."_

_Angeal pressed a hand to Zack's shoulder, and reassured the boy,_

"_You can't be blamed for what happened, Zack. You are young, impressionable, and easily ... persuaded to others points of view. If you speak to Cloud, I'm sure he will feel the same way as I do."_

"_Where is he?"_

_Angeal hesitated. _

"_You're not going to tell me, are you?" Zack's face fell. "... he hates me, doesn't he?"_

"_No! Zack ..." Angeal gave a wry chuckle, "As impossible as it might seem, I don't think Cloud had ever known hate ... or ever will. He has so much love in him, I believe that hate would be an ... unimaginable emotion for him to bear. Oh - he might have anger, rage, envy, spite - but never hate ..."_

"_So ... he's angry at me?"_

"_A - little..." Angeal caught Zack's disbelieving face, and smiled before correcting, "okay, a lot. You know me too well, Zachary."_

"_Don't call me that," Zack protested feebly, his face beginning to light up to it's usual eagerness. "So - if he doesn't hate me ... does that mean I can ... y'know, talk to him?"_

_Angeal hesitated, and said cautiously, _

"_Maybe _I_ should talk to him first." Zack sighed and let his head fall back onto the couch impatiently. "No - Zack, _listen_ to me. Right now, Cloud is in a very, very fragile state of mind. Seeing you ... I don't know that he could handle that, not after everything that's happened. I'll speak to him, and see if he will talk to you. I'll send you an email if he does, okay?"_

"_Thanks, Angeal," Zack sighed happily. "You're the best."_

_Angeal laughed quietly and squeezed Zack's shoulder gently before letting his hand fall away. _

"_Not quite," he countered modestly, before falling into a comfortable silence. Zack, too, sat in silence for perhaps a minute more, before his usual eagerness returned in full force and he asked suddenly, _

"_Hey, Angeal?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_You never told me - how d'you and Cloud know each other?"_

_Angeal closed his eyes painfully, trying his hardest not to wince. _Of all the questions ...

"_Cloud and I ... met the same day he was brought to the Tower. He was nine years old. Myself, Genesis and Sephiroth were the ones who brought him from Nibelheim to Midgar."_

"_No way ... so you met the rest of his family, and everything?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What were they like?"_

_Angeal paused, remembering the angelic blonde woman who had fiercely defended her son, only to realise that her son's destiny lay not in the world of Humanity, but in the world of ShinRa. The speech she had directed, the words she had spoken, still lingered in his mind to this very day ... _there are so many bad people in this world, the world needs to be saved ... don't be afraid to be my son ...

"_They were ..." he struggled to find the words to describe the Humans he had met - the man the size of a bear, his face blotched with tears as he crouched over a woman's broken form, the heart-shattering scream of the girl whose mother's body lay in the shards of a shattered life, the tears on Elena's face as the ground shook under her and the helicopter rose away from the death that fell steadily from the heavens. "They were the most genuine people I have ever met," he admitted quietly. "Cloud's honorary Uncle, Gareth, was ... fiercely protective of his wife and daughter ... Cloud's childhood friend, Tifa if I recall correctly, was ... erm ..." he knew he was pushing his luck, straining his memory to try and pull something positive out of what he could only describe as a tragedy. "She was very ... curious." He remembered standing at the door of the house, and catching a glimpse of the girl's head whipping out of view the moment she was seen, trying to sneak a glimpse of the elite ShinRa. "And Elena, Cloud mother, was ..." Again, he struggled. "She was strong. Not strong in the sense that ShinRa are, not physically ... but emotionally. She was like a rock in a stormy sea ... she was kind and determined and ... had a certain way of looking at the world that wasn't traditionally Human, yet wasn't entirely ShinRa either."_

"_... she sounds like Cloud," Zack whispered at length, having finally drawn both legs up to fold on the couch protectively. _

"_Yes ... they ar - were, very much alike," Angeal agreed, sighing at the memory of a woman he knew was dead. _

"_Did ..._ anyone_ make it out alive?" Zack suddenly asked desperately, turning to Angeal and begging him with his eyes to tell him what he wanted to hear, and not what he knew was the truth. _

_Angeal didn't have the heart to resist that face. _

"_Perhaps," he murmured. "We will never know."_

_Zack sighed, and pushed himself off the couch, wandering over to the door and pausing just before he left. _

"_You'll ... tell me when you've talked to Cloud, right?" he confirmed, making sure to meet Angeal's eyes squarely. _

"_Of course I will, Zachary," Angeal reassured his student with a kind smile. Zack replied with a grin twice as bright, then left the office with his usual bounce returned in his step, the door closing noisily behind him.

* * *

_

Cloud blinked, and stared at Angeal as he finished recounting the strange events that had unfolded just that very afternoon.

"Cloud?" Angeal asked when he saw that the blonde had been silent for almost five minutes.

"I ... guess so."

"Sorry?"

"The answer to Zack's question ... if he wants to talk to me ... I guess he can," he said in a halting voice. Angeal smiled proudly, and heaved himself to his feet, offering a hand to help Cloud up also; he pretended not to notice when Cloud didn't take it, and instead used the wall to lever himself up.

"Would you like to come back to my office now?" Angeal asked as they jumped back down the hatch, and began the long walk to their levels in the Tower.

"Please," Cloud muttered, digging his hands into his pockets and hunching a little when they began to re-enter the general traffic of the main corridors and hallways.

"Remember," Angeal told the blonde as they finally stepped into the SOLDIER's office, "it's your choice to talk to him; you can cut it off at any moment, you don't have to stay if you don't want to. No one's forcing you to talk with him."

"I know," Cloud said quietly, finally sinking into a seat, co-incidentally the once Zack had taken earlier. "Thank you, Angeal, for everything."

"It's my pleasure, Cloud," Angeal smiled at him, before flipping his laptop open and tapping out a short, simple email. _This is just one way of making up for ... forgetting about you. I'm sorry ..._ Angeal sighed, and closed the machine after a small pop-up informed him of Zack's reply and eminent arrival. "Would you like me to step outside?"

"If that's ... alright," Cloud said shyly, twisting his sleeve ends between his fingers nervously.

"It's fine, Cloud," Angeal pat the blonde simply on the shoulder before heading out the door, leaving it slightly ajar. "Be strong."

_I will be..._ Cloud answered the empty room silently. He bounced his knee and looked around nervously, his nerves slowly growing tighter and more highly strung, until he felt he might just about explode at the slightest touch; it didn't help that his recently dormant claustrophobia had reawakened in the absence of a window in the small office.

Then, all thoughts of dark caverns and dripping water were thrown from his mind as a light tap came at the door, and a spiked black head poked around the wood uncertainly.

"... can I come in?"

Cloud jumped a little at Zack's familiar voice - though the tone of sorrow and regret was something he was unfamiliar with when it came to Zack - and nodded quickly.

Zack stepped fully inside and pulled the door shut behind him.

Then Cloud closed his eyes tightly, braced himself, and waited for coming onslaught.

He wasn't disappointed.

* * *

**Next:** Part Four, Chapter Seven: Uprising. _I guess you can figure out what's gonna happen here easily enough. (Translation: I haven't figured it out yet.)_


	27. Part Four, Chapter Seven

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Sorry this is (once again) late. A few family emergencies, lots of babysitting, lots more school work, winter settling in, finally getting my act together and _studying_ for once ... I've barely had the time to read, let alone write. I've slept something like six hours these past few nights, having finally discovered my insomnia. It doesn't help that my dreams are fucking _weird_. Once I dreamt I was a bartender on the Titanic, which split in two perfect halves, then turned into a scene from Mario before morphing into a place that looked like a cross between Roly Poly Oly, Jak and Daxter, and Star Wars. -.-

Anyway, I'm thinking this might be the second to last chapter of Part Four - there's not much more I can do with these guys, and I think I'm more than ready to move onto the next part. Part Five is the original plot for this fanfiction, the one from which this entire story came from. It will likely continue into Part Six, maybe Part Seven if I last that long ... I'm not sure how many parts there will be, as of yet. But things are beginning to speed up! Finally!

By the way, congrats to Nineveh03, who pointed out the first identifiable plot hole! No, Zack cannot see through walls - I will obviously have to go back and change that (sweatdrop.) I'll be rewriting much of the previous chapter anyway, thanks to the recommendations of many of my reviewers. Thanks, guys! (And no, I'm not being sarcastic. Constructive criticism is great! I don't get enough of it.)

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Uprising' by Muse, 'Propane Nightmares' by Pendulum, 'Breathe into Me' by Red (I've probably used this song before...) and a song recommended by Lady Gunblade (thank you!) 'Krieger des Lichts' by Silbermond.

**Lyrics:**_ Interchanging mind control; come let the revolution take it's hold ... rise up and take the power back; it's time the fat cats had a heart attack. You know that their time's coming to an end; we have to unify and watch our flag ascend. -_Uprising by Muse.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Seven: Uprising**

Zack went to sit beside Cloud hesitantly, perching on the edge of the leather sofa as if it were made of paper-thin crystal. From this angle, he could avoid meeting Cloud's eyes unless it was absolutely necessary, something he'd only realized when he went to peer over at Cloud's shadowed face.

It took him a lot of courage - more than he'd care to admit - to speak that first sentence.

"Angeal told me ... about you," he started awkwardly, their eyes facing in opposite directions, his voice near silent and his fingers picking at his pants nervously. "He told me about Nibelheim and how it was - how everyone ... y'know ..."

"Died," Cloud mouthed, finishing Zack's sentence with the fragile ghost of a whisper.

"Yeah," Zack accepted the word with a painful looking grimace, "that - anyway - he told me about your - other family. And ... before I apologize ... there's just something I want to say. There're a lot of things I need to say ..."

Zack paused, and seemed to be waiting for Cloud to say something. The blonde turned to the dark-haired Trainee, and saw his frowning at the worn carpet, biting his lip anxiously.

"Go ahead," Cloud urged gently, and Zack jumped as if startled before starting with a deep breath,

"Okay - so, Angeal, he told me, like, everything about you, right-" _Not everything,_ Cloud through, his mind jumping to the rose colored stone, his new "job" writing articles for the Cause, his friendship with Reno, "-so ... I reckoned that the best way to apologize and, and show that I'm really _actually_ sorry was to ... tell you some things about me." Cloud just barely managed to keep himself from raising an eyebrow, but Zack sensed the dark humor despite his restraint. "No - I mean-" Zack gave a small, shallow laugh, "I mean ... well, you don't know what it's like growing up in the Tower, right? I just ... thought you should know what that's like ... so you know exactly _why_ I said those things that I did."

Cloud sobered quickly, lowering his eyes and remembering - remembering what Zack had said to bring them to such a place.

"I think ... that sounds like a good idea," he offered after a lengthy silence, and Zack needed no further encouragement; he leapt into his story as if he had spent weeks cultivating it, days agonizing over details and hours patching together the small stories that would show Cloud the world as _he_ saw it.

* * *

"When a ShinRa is born ... well, I suppose you already know how that happens, with the Gathering and all that ... well, if the mother is Human, the ShinRa is taken away from them about an hour after birth, and bottle-fed by nurses until they're old enough to be left alone. If the mother is ShinRa - like mine was - they're left with them for about a year and a half, until they can be separated. Even then ... the mother spends barely any time with the baby, just enough to feed them and maybe ... maybe play a little. I don't know ... I don't really remember her.

"My mother's name was Gillian, she's Angeal's mother or aunt or something ... I don't really remember ... and, after that time when she raised me as a kid, I think I saw her ... once? Maybe twice ... it's not at if she mattered to me. I barely knew her ...

"Anyway, once we're taken away from our birth parents, if we're just newborns, we're given to hired nurses who raise us until we can be handed over to the Caretakers. If we're older when we get separated, like me, we go straight to the Caretakers and join the rest of the year when we're about a year or two old. There, about thirty of us are put up in rooms just like the ones we have today, 'cept a little bigger cause they have so many more kids.

"We got taught how to read and write by some older volunteers - Humans, I think, though back then we really didn't know the difference - who came in a couple of times a week. They always changed, and always left before we learnt their names ... even the Caretakers rotated once a week, we never saw the same one twice. We all learnt from an early age to never ... never develop ... attachments to anyone older than us. The only attachments we had were the ones among ourselves, the only ones that didn't change daily.

"We didn't actually meet the older ShinRa until we were about five, when we got separated into Turk and SOLDIER. We got introduced to all these tall people, with eyes just like ours we'd never seen before.

"And the first thing we noticed ... was that they were _always_ there.

"It wasn't like the people with dull eyes - Humans - who were never there long, who were always gone just when we started to l ... like them. The ShinRa were always there, they always came to visit us, they never changed or vanished without a word of goodbye.

"We learnt that attachment to a ShinRa was not painful, because they would always ... be there.

"By the time we finished our first year of school, the bonds between the SOLDIER Trainees are unbreakable; having lived with each other since birth, having shared pain and loss with every single one of them, we knew our year mates better than we knew ourselves, and still do. This is what the Council encourages; each year is a single Unit, like a miniature army. Because we're so close and so ... accustomed to each other, we work better together. We're a team.

"So ... back to the end of our first year. Jeez, was that a long time ago ... we were all so tiny then. Geni still had blonde hair, and Dac had just lost three of his front teeth. We used to all make fun of him for that ...

"Look ... the first year of school, of learning ... it was all about learning the numbers, reading the words, y'know, normal stuff. But the year after that ... it was a little ... I can't really describe it. Now that I think about it ...

"The second year of school is the first year we learn about the difference between ShinRa and Humans. I remember, our little team of six year old kids, running around doing miniature assignments and posters on the accomplishments of great ShinRa, then writing paragraphs about the reasons Humans needed to be protected. The reasons they couldn't help themselves ... the reasons they were weak.

"By the end of our second year, we knew the Pledge off by heart. We could recite the deeds done by the greatest ShinRa of our time, and the times before us. We _knew_ that Humans were defenseless; we knew that ShinRa were designed to protect those helpless people, who could no more defend themselves than a lump of wood could. We were just starting to learn how to fight; most of us could already do the basic drills, we were just starting to figure out how to use our Glow ... we were starting to come into our power.

"Then, third year ... things started getting strange. We started to notice how a third of our number, back from when we were kids, weren't there any more. So, we learnt about Turks; we learnt how SOLDIER were the muscle, and Turks were the brains, as one of our instructors once said. We complemented each other, but we were never meant to be one. A Turk's job was to be cruel and heartless; a SOLDIER's job was to be compassionate and kind, to defend rather than attack, to protect rather than wound.

"It seems almost poetic, now I think about it ... really, though we're exactly, _exactly_ the same, Turks and SOLDIERs are kinda like opposites. Like two sides of a coin. LIke ... you can't be one, if you're the other.

"It didn't make sense to us then; all we felt was the loss of something - someone - who, until only a few years before, had always been there. It was ... just like the Humans that used to look after us. We lost someone we thought would always be there.

"So we were taught ... however accidentally, however - whatever ... that the people who you grow closest to ... will leave you in time. We started to distance ourselves from each other, in fear that they would leave too.

"We learnt that you can't grow close to anyone, _anyone_. We were taught about love, in Ethics I think, and I'll never forget what we did. The instructor stood up there, telling us about this ... emotion, how sometimes you found yourself caring for another so much you would be willing to _die_ for them, you would follow them to the ends of the Planet, how your heart thumped when they came near and how you would never leave them, just as they would never leave you.

"And we laughed.

"Cloud ... to me, even now, I think of love, and I can't help but _pity_ you. Love in an emotion we were taught to abandon _years_ ago, before we could even think for ourselves. We were taught that love can only hurt us, so it is better to have never felt it in the first place.

"I remember, we used to sit around on weekends and watch shows about Humans on the television, about Humans that fell in love and lived happily ever after ... and all we ever fucking did was _laugh _at them. We couldn't believe Humans were so ... stupid. We couldn't believe they would be so _gullible_ to risk everything on one person.

"When you told me you were taken ... y'know, _there,_ for _loving _someone ... I laughed. I'm sorry I did - I told you that - but ... this is why.

"When you said you loved ... all I could picture in my mind were the thin, weak Humans on the T.V., and the men who posed, broke into song and couldn't swing a sword for shit. All I could see when you told me you loved was something only done ... or felt by people we saw as weak.

"Then - _then_, to learn you were _raised_ by them ... _fuck_. I don't know _how_ you did that ...

"The only Humans we ever really knew were the Caretakers, the ones who were there, but never really there, because they left so often. The only thing we knew about Humans was that they were weak, that they needed us to protect them because they can't protect themselves. The only thing I could see when you told me you were raised by them ... was someone like off one of the shows we used to laugh at. A hyped up, childish boy with make-up on running around some _bizarre_ open-air school throwing flour bombs at people and _actually living_ in the same house as your family. Something I could ... never imagine.

"Cloud, I've never known such a thing as ... family - at least, not the way you have. Family to me, is anyone walking down the corridor, anyone with glowing eyes and a Presence around them others haven't got. My family isn't just two parents and perhaps a younger sister ... my family is thousands, tens of thousands; everyone in this Tower, and some beyond. And because of this ... family, to me ... means nothing. I don't love them; they're my family, nothing more. We share blood some where along the line, even if it goes back as far as Shin Ra himself, but nothing else. I don't know them; how could I? They don't mean _anything_ to me.

"You are so different to us, Cloud, in so many ways you can't even see. Even though I've only known you a month, I can already tell. You say the Reco- sorry, _that_, you say that dampened the love in you ... but I can see quite plainly ... it hasn't.

"It's ... not so much the way you speak, more the way you act. Most ShinRa ... we don't care what people see of us, of our emotions, 'cause we know they feel the same. Our faces are open, if we feel emotions, we show them 'cause we're not afraid to. But you ... I've seen you smile ... three times? Maybe four? You've raised your voice in public _twice_, once when the kitchens served imitation tofu and the other when Kunsel told you your sketch looked like an eggplant with cancer.

"You're a lot more reserved than us, and it shows.

"About what happened ... that day ... the night before, we were talking about birthdays and stuff, what with the Birthday Month coming up ... and it got out that you were born with Humans ... I put two and two together, and figured out why you'd been sent to R - that place. You'd been raised by Humans; simple, really. But ... I made the mistake of blurting it out, so everyone could hear.

"After everything we'd been taught ... and everything we'd learnt first hand about Humans ... I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.

"Put simply ... it was chaos.

"I couldn't deal with it ... I ran to my room, and Lux followed. He ... started talking about how he was sure the Humans had drugged your father, so he wasn't aware of your birth, and how your mother must be working for a rebel group bent on infiltrating the Tower and bringing the ShinRa down ... you have to realize, I was still in shock; all I knew of Humans and their way of life was of desertion and weakness - pain.

"I believed him.

"I thought ... I thought you'd only come to the Tower, I thought you'd only accepted my friendship, so you could get close to me, close to Angeal ... close to Sephiroth, the Council ... then bring us down.

"So ... I'm sorry, Cloud. Please, I am so, so sorry. I nev - I, I never meant a word I said, I never meant _any_ of it, I was just upset and - and I guess a little hurt that you'd kept something from - and a bit - scared - I just - I _dunno_. But I _do_ know that ... I'm _sorry_ ..."

* * *

Zack's story ended with the dark-haired Trainee on the verge of tears, Cloud sitting frozen beside him with his eyes riveted on the older ShinRa's lowered eyes.

For the longest time, nothing was said. Then, slowly, Cloud reached out and took Zack's hand, pulling him up from the padded sofa as he stood.

"Wha - Cloud?" Zack's voice was raw from speaking so long, raw from emotion, raw from the tears he was fighting down.

"Follow me," Cloud ordered the older boy in a timid voice. "There's something I want you to see."

Cloud reached up, balancing on the tips of his toes to reach the hatch, and pushed it open hesitantly. Zack stood behind him, watching with wide, curious eyes.

The hatch swung open, hanging on it's hinges. Clean air rushed in, the crisp smell of night and dew; it was late, far past curfew, and Cloud was surprised no one had stopped the two obvious Trainees as they moved through the Tower.

"Come on," Cloud whispered, speaking for the first time since leaving Angeal's office. Then, tensing his legs just a little, he leapt easily up the metre-and-a-half distance, landing with his feet safely on the edge of the square space. "Jump."

Zack, breathing in the cool, fresh air cautiously, followed with a little less flair, flailing a little before he gained his balance.

Once he was sure he wouldn't fall back into the metal gap, he raised his head and took in the dark surroundings, his faintly glowing eyes piercing the shadows easily. He gasped when he looked upwards and saw the bare night sky, but then his face fell into a concerned frown when he saw Cloud's silhouette against the starry sky, standing out beyond one end of the corridor on the platform that sprawled there.

"Cloud?" Zack stepped silently forward, and though he didn't touch Cloud, he stood so close beside him, he could feel the blonde's heart vibrating through his feet, he could hear every quiet breath in the still air. "Where are we?"

"The roof," Cloud answered simply, stepping away from Zack and moving to the side of the Tower and peering down over the steep edge fearlessly. The lights of the bustling city below were reflected in his eyes, flickering slightly.

"Why have you brought me here?" The older boy's voice was fragile, a mirror of his emotions, his mind.

"I ... couldn't think of a way to tell you that ... I forgive you. So I thought ... I would show you," Cloud bit his lip nervously, his voice fell to an uncertain murmur, his toes curled a little in their thin shoes. "... the only people who know of this place are the people I trust with my life."

Zack's breath caught in his throat.

"Cloud ..."

"And ... I _do_ trust you Zack. A - a lot." Cloud turned away from the Human city the Tower had been built amid, and smiled gently at the black-haired ShinRa, who couldn't help but stare at the image the blonde struck, standing against the dark landscape of the night sky with a faint glow wrapped around him from the buildings below, his breath misting before him. "I ... forgive you, for what you said and did and - everything. Will you ... _please_ be my friend?" Cloud raised his eyes from where they had been caught on his folded hands. "Please?"

Zack's face broke into an impossibly wide smile.

"Of course I will, Cloud," he laughed in delight, leaping forward and snatching Cloud into a rough embrace. Cloud gasped, and struggled to find himself in the enthusiasm of the older Trainee. "Of _course_ I will!"

Cloud slowly relaxed into Zack's hold, finally remembering what it was like to be cared for, but just when his arms were beginning to rise to return the embrace, Zack stepped back and beamed down at Cloud, a hint of sorrow in his eyes.

"You don't belong in ShinRa, Cloud," he commented sadly, ruffling Cloud's unruly hair absently and turning to look out over the darkness. "You're too ..." he sighed. "Innocent."

_Innocent? _Cloud choked silently, staring at Zack in disbelief. _Zack, I've seen things you couldn't even imagine; I am hardly _innocent.

"You care too much about other people," Zack continued, unaware of Cloud's dark mind and thoughts. "You trust too easily. Not that that's a bad thing," he hastened to add. "It's just ... not something a ShinRa would usually do, y'know?"

"I know," Cloud replied. "I know too well what ShinRa would or would not usually do."

Zack paused at the blonde's words, trying to decipher the hidden meaning, then gasped and whirled around when he realised what Cloud was trying to tell him.

"No - Cloud, I would never do that!"

"Wouldn't you?" Cloud whispered.

"Cloud, I know what would happen if I turned you in for - for not being a ShinRa, a real one. I know where they will send you; I know what they'll do to you." Zack reached out and brushed a hand over the clothed wrist, where white scars were hidden behind long sleeves. "And even if you aren't ... normal ... I couldn't send anyone there, not knowing what would follow."

Cloud let his breath out deeply, relief etched into every line on his young face.

"Thank you, Zack," he said empathically, his voice filled to the brim with an emotion Zack had never seen before in the gloomy Trainee. "You don't know what that means to me."

"Hey, you said you trusted me," Zack smiled easily. "And that means I trust you, Cloud. I trust you enough to know you wouldn't do anything to purposefully hurt me."

Cloud was saddened that Zack automatically assumed that love would hurt him; but he accepted what the dark-haired ShinRa was saying none the less.

"We should get inside," he said, lowering his eyes and turning back to the hidden hatch. "We don't want to be caught out too late."

Zack laughed and half-walked, half-ran past Cloud.

"It's comments like that, Cloud, that remind me just why you aren't like us," he grinned, before he jumped back down into the relative warmth and still air of the Tower. Cloud shook his head once, before following him with light, easily co-ordinated movements.

* * *

Reno flicked off his bedroom light with a sigh, turning to his folded phone, remembering the message Angeal had sent him only a few scant minutes ago, and glaring at the dull screen.

_MC is w- Puppy, my office. Poss apology upcming - look out 4 hm. _

Taking a deep breath - _that ass wipe had better look after Cloud, or he'll have one thoroughly pissed off Turk to deal with _- Reno forced all thoughts of Cloud and Zack and whatever was happening between those two from his mind, focusing on the next item on his agenda for World Domination.

Cloud hadn't finished his article in time for the next email, what with his sudden depression leaving him in no state of mind to do anything, so it was up to Reno to try and scrape together something to keep the ShinRa hanging and ready for more. So, spending an hour or so surfing the internet and dragging out a few old books he'd stolen from the huge shared library downstairs (his instructors had never figured out why he was suddenly so interested in a place he had previously treated as a radioactive slosh-pit), he managed to roll out a thousand or so words on the stability of the ShinRa gene, something all ShinRa knew of, but didn't quite understand.

When he was nearing the end of the impossibly long report, he began to feel his eyelids weighing a little, a familiar wave of fatigue beginning to lap at the corners of his mind - and in a remnant of his time from Reconditioning, laying half-comatose beside the shivering blonde he cared for like a brother, he feared it. The corner of his eye glimpsed his bed, but he stubbornly ignored it, reminding his body that he wasn't _there_; he could sleep whenever he wished. He just did not wish so at that moment. He had work to do, after all.

Finally hitting the "send" button with a sense of finality and relief, Reno then turned to his day planner, scrolling through the homework he'd been assigned and deciding which ones he would be "late" in doing.

It was nearly midnight before he decided to log onto the website he and Tseng had designed, tapping in his username "AdminSA" to enter the chatroom they'd put into the site as an after thought.

There were three people online - Guest17, Guest106 and AdminAN, better known to Reno and the others as Angeal.

Grinning in success, Reno was quick to join the conversation.

* * *

_AdminSA has joined the conversation._

AdminSA: Hey, guys.

Guest17: Hey.

AdminAN: Welcome, SA.

Guest106: What does dat stand 4?

Guest106: SA, I mean.

Guest106: R they yur initials?

AdminSA: Yeah, right. They're totally my initials.

AdminSA: I'm not an idiot.

AdminAN: I beg to differ.

Guest17: R u the ones who came up with this place?

AdminSA: Yep! Cool huh?

Guest106: Its awesum!

Guest17: Pretty neat ...

Guest17: How many of u r there?

AdminAN: I'm sure you can guess why we don't want to answer that question.

Guest17: Soz, stupid question.

Guest17: How do you guys know all dis stuff bout love nd human tradition?

Guest17: R u humans?

AdminSA: Um ... pass?

AdminAN: Maybe.

Guest106: So nysterious

Guest106: --mysterious

Guest17: If yur humans, how do u knw bout shinra? Nd if yur shinra, how do u knw bout humans?

AdminSA: MC.

Guest106: Cme again?

AdminAN: Another admin. They came up with the original idea for all of this.

AdminSA: Yep, me and MC go way back

AdminAN: Shut it, SA

AdminSA: Roger

Guest17: So ... y r u guys doin this? Not that its not a great cause nd all dat ... just - y now?

AdminSA: The nxt email spells it out - basically, Humans r on a war path for ShinRa and unless we do somethin about it, the Tower will go splodey.

AdminAN: Charming description SA, but that is the general idea. ShinRa, in promoting the degradation of Humans, are only furthering their own destruction by underestimating and suppressing a very dangerous race.

Guest17: Humans r dangerous?

Guest106: lol

AdminAN: And that is exactly the reason why ShinRa won't last out the decade.

AdminAN: I rest my case.

_AdminMC has joined the conversation. _

AdminMC: Hello

AdminSA: Woooah! Hey, MC! How'd it go with

AdminSA: Puppy?

AdminMC: It's all sorted out. We're cool now.

Guest106: Who's Puppy?

Guest106: Nother admin?

AdminMC: No.

AdminMC: They're just a friend.

Guest106: Doesn't sound like it

AdminSA: I'd be shutting up now if I were you.

Guest17: Hey MC, AN said u were da 1 who came up with dis whole idea.

AdminMC: I didn't come up with all of it, just ...

AdminSA: A lot.

AdminSA: :P

AdminAN: Without MC, none of this would have been possible.

AdminMC: (pokes out tongue)

Guest17: So u guys must be really smrt, huh?

AdminSA: lol

AdminSA: Yeah right

Guest106: Cn any1 hack the site nd find out hu we r?

AdminAN: No

AdminSA: Definitely not

AdminMC: No.

Guest17: I hav a question ...

AdminAN: Fire away

Guest17: Ive been intrested in humans - as in human equality or whteva - for a coupl of yers now ... i jst wnted 2 knw ... is it possible for a shinra to love?

Guest17: I read sumwhre that shinra rnt designed to love - they physiclly cant.

Guest17: Is that true?

AdminSA: Definitely not

AdminAN: ShinRa can love, if they wish to.

AdminMC: I'm proof.

Guest106: Hah! U **-r-** a shinra!

AdminMC: Fuck

AdminSA: Nice 1, MC

Guest17: Wait - yur a shinra who loves?

AdminMC: bion, yes.

Guest106: WOAH

AdminMC: They're not as rare as you'd think ...

AdminSA: ?

AdminMC: (looks at SA)

AdminSA: What?

AdminAN: MC has a point.

Guest17: Straying frm da point - it _is_ possible 4 shinra to love?

AdminMC: Absolutely

Guest17: Thank Planet!

AdminSA: ?

Guest106: Do i snse a confession comin on?

Guest17: No ... just checkn sumthn.

AdminMC: ...hope that cleared things up for you?

AmindSA: I do _not_ love!

AdminMC: I thought the idea of our campaign was to _promote_ love.

AdminMC: So shouldn't you loving be a good thing?

AdminSA: .

AdminSA: You suck.

AdminSA: A lot.

Guest106: lol pwned by your own logic

Guest106: Go MC

Guest17: g2g

Guest106: Cya, 17.

Guest17: BTW If i log on again, cn I use the same name?

AdminAN: Probably not.

AdminAN: If u want a permanent username you'll have to register.

AdminAN: You don't need to fill in any incriminating details, just state whether you're Human or ShinRa.

AdminAN: And we'll be deleting the files afterwards, anyway.

Guest17: k thnx. Bye

AdminSA: Tootles.

_Guest17 has left the conversation

* * *

_

Sephiroth leant back in his chair and pushed the lid of his laptop closed with a firm touch, mulling through the online conversation in his mind. _I just have to state whether I'm Human or ShinRa? ...doesn't sound too bad_.

He stilled when he heard a rustle in the other room, but calmed when he realized it was only Angeal getting ready for bed. Waiting for the tell-tale, calming breaths that meant sleep, Sephiroth re-opened the laptop tentatively, and entered the cheaply-made website again, with it's black background and fluorescent green text. He entered his new username, Seventeen, typed up a complex password he would be sure to forget at some time, and clicked the small box that said "ShinRa." Pressing enter, he was pleased to find the response was quick, almost immediate.

He was now an official follower of the Cause.

He'd never felt freer in his entire life.

* * *

Not long after "Guest17" had logged off, Reno too quit the revealing conversation and glowered at the dark, empty room.

_Love? I do not love! I am ... I'm a Shin ..._

He sighed. Really, if he thought about it ... love was what they were ultimately trying to achieve, what they were trying to teach the others in the Tower to believe in.

_So why is it so hard to me to accept that ..._

Reno groaned and hit himself over the head with a pillow. The irony didn't elude him; that he was ... for lack of a better word, _fearing_, the very thing he was promoting.

_But how can they tell? Who do I ... love?_

Against his will, Cloud's face swam into view, as did Cissnei's, and Tseng's. Cloud, he loved as a brother, a best friend. Someone who stuck with him through thick and thin, someone who would never abandon him just as he, Reno, would never abandon Cloud. Cissnei, he loved as any would love their twin sister, someone who had been with him since birth, someone who was his other half in every sense of the word. And Tseng ... Tseng, he loved as the closest thing to a father he had ever known, despite their ages being so close, with only seven years difference. Tseng was the person who was there to pick him up if he fell, someone who taught him the ins and outs of life, even the one who'd given him 'The Talk' when he'd been old enough.

Oh, yes. There really was no doubt about it, now that he reflected on the relationships he held with various others of his kind. Now that he looked at those friendships with new eyes ... it was really quite clear to him.

He, Reno, could love.

_Karma really _is_ a bitch.

* * *

_

**Next:** Part Four, Chapter Eight: Darkness Eyes.

_Revised: 20/5/10_


	28. Part Four, Chapter Eight

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Thank you all for the beautiful reviews you've been sending in! I've decided I won't reply to them unless there's a specific question for point that needs answering (I have the feeling 'thanks for the review, I liked that part too, see you next time' has been getting a little repetitive...also I keep forgetting who I've replied to, and who I haven't :P) so I'll just be thanking you guys on here from now on!

I've just started the long and painful process of obtaining a cap on my front tooth, something I've been waiting for for nine years ever since that _bastard_ pushed me over on a metal slide when I was seven. In any case, some of this is written while recovering from anesthetic. Please pardon any ... strangeness.

Anyway, I've decided that for the last chapter of Part Four, I would do something special. This isn't really one chapter - despite the fact that it is not only much longer than usual, it's also a lot of various plots and scenes coming together to tie them off neatly before I begin the next part of the plot. So, I decided I would write most, if not all, of this chapter in various First Person POVs. This is probably of the first time I've written (properly) in this POV (I really prefer Third Person) ... so this'll be a new experience for me. Please excuse if I make a complete mess of it. :P

**Important Note:** Time is strange in this chapter. It jumps and kaboozles it's way around. It isn't linear, rather arranged in order of dramatic content. Fuck knows where we're going to end up. :D Anyway, **_pay attention to the dates_.**

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Darkness Eyes' by DBSK, 'Omen' by The Prodigy and 'Still Alive' by Mt Eden Dubstep.

**Lyrics**: _There's a fortress of darkness that eminently blocks the way, so I seek in the dark, there are no lights here. I closed my eyes and smiled; darkness on my eyes _- Darkness Eyes by DBSK (a largely Japanese song, these lyrics are loosely translated into English - not by me, I can't speak Japanese. Instead, be trusting to Livejournal.)

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Four: Knowing Zack**

**Chapter Seven: Darkness Eyes

* * *

**

_Through the Eyes of Zack: August 17th 5227(After Jenova)_

We sat in comfortable silence, Cloud curled up against his headboard and reading a textbook silently, myself lounging in a nearby chair, torn between watching him and reading my own book. It was something to do with plants ... I _really_ couldn't care less.

Lately, there had only been one thing on my mind.

"Cloud?" I asked finally, breaking my friend's concentration. His head raised, and he blinked over at me in confusion. Moments like these were the only times Cloud ever let his guard down; the rest of his days were spent behind a hard mask he rarely, if ever, cracked.

"Hm?" Cloud replied lazily, holding a finger in place as he half-closed the book.

"I was just ... wonder ... y'know, never mind," I flushed a little and made a great show of returning to my book, rustling the pages and clearing my throat deeply. I heard a light, girlish giggle, and after a moment's pause, nearly dropped the carefully arranged book in when I realized it was _Cloud._

I leant forward, staring at Cloud in amazement, while the blonde stared back in subdued horror.

Then, laughing gleefully, I threw myself back onto the chair, clutching my stomach, and cried,

"What was _that!_ It sounded like someone stood on a mouse!" And then I descended into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, while Cloud sat hunched into himself with a beet-red face and a mortified expression.

"I did not just do that, I did not just do that, I did _not_ just do that," I heard Cloud's horrified whisper easily, and my laughter only intensified, until I was breathless and choking by the time the fit had passed.

"Planet, Cloud, you're killing me," I chuckled, wiping my eyes dry with my mouth stretched into a grin so wide my cheeks ached.

"Shut up," Cloud muttered, though his spirit wasn't in it; if anything, his eyes seemed brighter ... his face a little less ... clouded. Oh, the irony.

I shuffled about in my chair, and silence fell back into the room, before I finally threw caution to the wind, and asked him anyway:

"Hah, Cloud - this is gonna seem really outta the blue, but ... what was it like?"

"What?"

"What was it like living like a Human?"

Cloud blinked at me, clearly confused, and this time when he shut his book he didn't mark his page.

"Why ... do you want to know?" I hated the suspicion in his eyes. I wished I could turn around and erase every memory of that from him; I wished I could find every person who had ever had reason to put that there, and ...

"I'm curious," I answered in an easy tone, deliberately relaxing my body into an unguarded position in an effort to show my newest friend that I wasn't a threat to him. "Your idea of family must be real different to mine, huh? And Humans are _compleeee-tely _different to ShinRa. What're they like?"

Cloud threw the book on his bedside table, and lay face-down on the bed with his torso propped on his elbows, thinking deeply.

"They're ... different?" He looked confused, and I didn't blame him; after all, if I'd been asked to explain how ShinRa thought and acted to someone who'd never known them ... I'd be pretty lost, too. "They all live in separate houses. They all work for a living, like in shops or working on farms."

"Really? Did your Mum work on a farm?"

Cloud laughed, shortly. I felt an answering smile creep onto my face - really, there was just _something_ about that kid ...

"No, Ma was a school teacher. She worked Mondays to Thursdays teaching all the kids in the village how to read and write, and in return she got to live in one of the farm houses on the outskirts of town. We had a goat we got milk from, sometimes, and Gareth paid for most of our food."

"Whose Gareth?"

Cloud's face fell, he turned away sadly, and I knew immediately I'd said something I shouldn't have. I shot forward, running through the conversation in my mind and trying to figure out what I'd said wrong.

"Hey," I said in the softest voice I could muster, shifting forward and lowering slowly until I sat beside Cloud on his bed, tilting my head to see his downturned eyes better. "Wha'did I say?"

"It's nothing," Cloud whispered.

"Bull_shit_, it's nothing," I snorted, extending a hand and touching Cloud's shoulder gently. I could feel him shudder away from me, and I clung tighter, frowning at how thin he was. Really, he was far too small for someone his age. Tiny. "Tell me."

Cloud raised his head from where they had been cradled in his arms, and moved until he knelt on the bed beside me, the springs groaning warningly. I watched curiously as he rummaged through his bedside drawer, until he finally withdrew a very tattered picture from beneath what appeared to be a carved wooden jewelry box; I caught only a glimpse of it before the drawer was thrown shut again.

Sniffing slightly, rubbing at his cheeks absently, Cloud took a long look at the glossy picture before finally turning it in his hands - not letting go, merely facing it so I could get a closer look - and presenting it to me.

I leaned forward.

It was a well-used picture of three kids - Cloud, some Wutian girl, and a brown-haired boy who was noticeably taller than both the others.

I'd never seen Cloud as happy as he was in that photo. Never.

"Is that Gareth?" I asked, pointing to the dark-haired boy who beamed proudly at the camera.

"No, that's Johnny, my be ... my friend," Cloud hesitated. "The girl's name is Tifa, she's Gareth's daughter.

"So they're Humans?"

"Yes," Cloud hummed over the picture, his eyes tracing the already well-traced lines. "I thought I _was_ one of them, until I was about six or seven. They were my family, even though we weren't related by blood. We grew up together: Tifa's like my sister, and Johnny was my older brother. We did everything together."

"So ... you're like a team?"

I watched as his eyes closed painfully.

"We ... _were_ ... like a team."

Something strange - foreign, an emotion I had never known before - cause my heart to contract painfully; but the feeling was gone before I fully acknowledged it, and after only a heartbeat's pause, I smiled as if nothing had changed, as if nothing had happened.

"I'm ... sorry they're gone?" The condolences emerged as more of a question than a statement, but really, can you blame me? I'd never comforted anyone before. I could hardly perfect the art the first time 'round. Cloud nodded, his head still hanging lower, and his finger hovered over the surface of the photo - not quite touching - where those three shining faces stared up at him, before abruptly shoving it back into the drawer in a quick, jagged move.

I shifted uncomfortably at the thickness in the air, the heavy atmosphere, and quickly spoke,

"Anyway ... it's your thirteenth birthday tomorrow, Clou'. You want anything special?"

He looked a little alarmed at my abrupt change in subject, but he was quick to answer,

"No, nothing. I'm just happy that you're ... that we're ..."

I grinned, and ruffled his hair, laughing at the way his thick blonde spikes shot out in every direction. He blushed and ducked his head, running a hand back through his hair and trying to flatten it, in vain. Caught by inspiration, my mouth and mind co-existed in a brief moment to conjure a nickname that would, for years to come, be the bane of Cloud's existence, and the joy of mine.

"Me too, Spike."

I grinned, and ducked the pillow he threw at me. I could see this as the beginning of a long and happy friendship.

* * *

_Through the Eyes of Reno: June 1st 5227(After Jenova)_

"Harder."

I struck.

"Harder!"

I struck again.

"C'mon, Reno! Hit me! _Harder!_"

Determined to wipe that prissy look off his face, I struck so hard I heard a distinct crack, and he collapsed to the padded mats, howling in pain.

"Well done, Reno," Tseng nodded in approval from where he had been refereeing at the sidelines. "You're progressing quickly."

"Thanks, yo," I smirked, wiping my hands against my dark trousers and meeting the eyes of the pained, freshly graduated Turk that was picking himself off the mats gingerly.

"You only have one more year until your sixteenth birthday," Tseng commented after a short silence, in which I had been stretching my arms and legs to warm down.

"So?"

"Your tests'll be starting soon."

I slowly pulled himself out of the particular position I'd adapted, and met Tseng's almond shaped eyes, in apprehension yes, though if anyone asks it was indigestion.

"... so?"

Tseng moved forward, taking my arm and dragging me into one of the lesser-used corners of the otherwise busy Training Room. It was weekend, and one of the only activities around the Tower was training; so, effectively, it because one of the largest past-times of many ShinRa, and the Gymnasiums were often packed to bursting point. With all the noise of metal clanging, grunts, pants and cries of victory, Tseng knew we would not be overheard.

At least, I hoped not.

"The tests are _hard_, Reno, very, _very_ hard. There's a reason over half of them fail the first time. They take almost every hour of the day, and night, until you are about ready to _collapse_ from exhaustion." I felt a glimmer of fear spark in me, fear of exhaustion, fear of lack of sleep. "By the end of the first week, I can guarantee, you will be begging for it to end."

"Your point?" I ground out through gritted teeth.

"You won't be able to write anymore, Reno," Tseng whispered in my ear. "You won't be able to call, or text, or anything. You just won't have the time."

I froze.

"No-"

"Reno, as much as you say 'it'll be different for me' - it won't. I've seen people like you go into the tests, they come out just as exhausted and worn down as everyone else. You won't have the time, the patience or the energy to focus on anything other than the tests they run you through, on a daily basis."

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Cloud.

"What the fuck am I gonna tell him?" I didn't realize I had spoken aloud until Tseng replied quietly,

"Tell him the truth. Angeal and I can be there for him when you can't - he has the Puppy now, remember? He'll be fine. I can take over your emails and assume your name for the time being."

"Why are you tellin' me this now, yo? The tests aren't for another year?"

Tseng's grip on my arm loosened a little, and I took the opportunity to pull myself from his weak hold.

"Because I want you to be prepared," Tseng answered, and we started moving back to the mats, already stretching a little in preparation of another training session. "I don't want you to be caught off guard." _I don't want you to be hurt_, was the unspoken message Reno picked out among the veiled words.

Smirking a little as I fell into stance, I couldn't help but think ... maybe I wasn't the only one in ShinRa Tower who'd begun to love ...

* * *

_Through the Eyes of Sephiroth: October 31st 5227(After Jenova)_

Our plane touched down roughly, and I fought the urge to knock the back of our pilot's head in, though I managed to contain myself; pilots are hard to find these days. Even harder to find are _good_ ones.

The moment we had a semblance of stillness, the three of us wrenched the door open and leapt out, hitting the tarmac with a well-practiced roll and bringing our light bags - filled with nothing but clothes and toiletries, dispensable and uncared for - flying after. We picked ourselves off the air strip as if it were commonplace to fall out of planes, and moved towards the hangar and the attached reception swiftly.

We'd been gone for two weeks, already, a quick mission in Cosmo Canyon taking care of a new stream of mutated monsters - the results of mammal contamination by the Beacon, thousands and thousands of years ago - that had emerged. The resident ShinRas, staying in one of the many home-away-from-home hotels that were scattered across the world, had been too busy keeping the city from panicking, dealing with mobs and what have you.

I sighed and played with the ends of my waist-length hair, a habit I had been trying to rid myself of since adolescence.

Things had been different in the Tower, ever since the emergence of the Cause. The Council called more meetings than ever before, leaving me barely a moment of peace. The atmosphere in the Tower was tangible; it had changed from the usual, easy-going, relaxed, everything-is-perfect attitude, into one of distrust. I could see it in the eyes of all who passed, of all who made eye contact; _is he one of them? Can I trust them? Can I trust him? What about her? Who can I trust? _

I counted myself both lucky, and unlucky; lucky, that I needn't worry if one I spoke to was in fact a follower of the Cause, being one myself. Unlucky, because if I spoke to one who was _not_ a believer of the Cause ... I could get into a lot of trouble very, very quickly.

Since my joining of the chat room that had recently diverged into three separately categorized ones, fifty others had followed, with even more every day. I had developed a healthy relationship with all four Admins - AdminFO having revealed himself a few days after my own introduction - and had even become a source of reassurance and information for newer members.

I was also forced to watch, sit in the Council passively and nod my head, as they passed rule and law after rule and law, handing out red slips like candy and condemning countless ShinRa, SOLDIER and Turk alike, to _that_.

My mind wandered, following the natural trail of thought. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was thinking of him.

It was becoming easier and easier to think of him as my brother, I noticed dimly as a hazy image of blonde hair, blue eyes and an empty smile came to light.

I had caught only glimpses of him since that day, when he returned still freshly scarred from the horror I had, however indirectly, condemned him to; not that it mattered, anyway. Even if I _had_ voted against it, the Council's decision would have remained the same. I couldn't have stopped what happened.

So why did I feel so _guilty_?

We were in the shadow of the Tower, now, our transport having deposited us at the steps to the legendary building that housed at any one time over eighty percent of the ShinRa populace. As we walked to the entrance, admittedly strutting a little, I noticed two things. Two very, very simple things.

The first, and most obvious. Humans.

There were at least thirty of them, crowded outside the gate to the Tower, of various ages and shapes and colours, all staring at us with those dull eyes I had forever puzzled over. Genesis straightened proudly, Angeal's face blanked to indifference, and I merely observed, catching in my famously sharp sight the tremors of the Humans' bodies. For a second, I thought they might be afraid.

Then, I realized that they were _angry_.

Very, _very_ angry.

I met their leader's eyes - the one who stood just to the fore of the others, with a stubborn look about her - and nodded in acknowledgement. I turned to the other two, and waved my hand in a movement that signaled I would be delayed momentarily. Genesis nodded in return, and Angeal met my eyes squarely, searchingly. Apparently, he found something that met his approval there; he too nodded, and moved with Genesis to enter the gates of the Tower, vanishing from my view quickly.

Taking a breath that was both deep and long, I moved towards the dense collection of Humans, who shifted at my approach and exchanged looks I could not for the life of me decipher.

Finally, I stood but only meters from them.

"Hello."

Anti-climatic; I had been hoping something more dramatic would present itself to me when I opened my mouth to speak.

The leader glared at me suspiciously from behind thin-framed spectacles, and spoke rudely, abruptly.

"What do you want from us?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What do you want? ShinRa don't speak to Humans 'less they want something," she folded her arms, and met my gaze in a mulish way. I shook my head in bewilderment.

"I do not want anything," I ignored her snort of disbelief. "I just wanted to talk."

"So talk." Her friends were muttering among themselves, and although I could hear their ... less than courteous conversations as clear as one saw the stars on a cloudless night, I chose not to acknowledge them. Silently applauding my own discipline, I addressed the woman in the most polite voice I could muster.

"I noticed that you and your companions seem angry. I only wandered why?"

"Oh, _now_ you want to know?" a boy spat from behind the girl, who turned and shushed him rudely.

Slowly facing me again, she met my eyes proudly, unafraid.

"We're angry because its _you_ who destroyed our lives! It's _you_ and your _twisted_ kind that forced us out of our homes! We're angry, because _you_ and your _freakish nature_ took _my family_ and _destroyed them!_" Her voice rose, until it all but screamed at him; had she been ShinRa, her eyes would be as bright as a midday sun by now. As she spoke, she seemed to rouse the Humans behind her, until they all stood with heaving chests, shouting their approval and punching clenched fists into the air in a primitive show of power I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at.

"We never meant to," I tried to say, but the men and women were too far gone in the rush of adrenaline I could smell pouring through them.

As a last resort, I drew a cheap piece of thin white paper from the bag I still had slung over one shoulder, and wrote on it quickly with a marker pen I drew from one pocket. I folded it neatly, three times, and slipped past the Human's flailing arms to slide it into her jeans pocket. She paused momentarily in her seemingly endless rant to stare at me, before the growing number of Humans behind her, nearly a hundred of them now, roared in anger. Her face fell from confusion to hate, and she continued her rally just as before.

"Down-With-Shin-Ra! Down-With-Shin-Ra!" they chanted, and I took an unsteady step back as the full brunt of their hate overcame me. I rushed back, darting behind the gates - that could only be opened or closed by one of Jenova's lineage - just before a seeming tidal-wave of rushing anger swept against it; the Humans had tripled, quadrupled, in only the space of a minute.

And they were angry.

Very, _very_ angry.

The second item of interest I noticed, as I walked a little drunkenly (the growing roars of the mob rising behind me) to the Tower, was that in a window perhaps a third of the distance above me, hundreds of meters, so fast it was almost impossible to imagine, I could feel eyes, watching me.

For all that ShinRa held in their bodies exponential power that could not be matched, there were a very few that could identify with any amount of certainty from _that_ distance, who I was.

Abei, perhaps. Kadaj, in his younger years. Lucrecia, though she too had passed her prime, and in any case had abandoned Training in favor of chasing academics, letting her immense Presence go to waste.

Of the new, rising generation ... there was only one whose power equalled mine. It sang to me, a frequency none others met.

I tipped my head back, and through the light mist of heat, met the unwavering eyes of my brother.

Of Cloud.

His eyes bore into mine knowingly, and I noticed almost immediately; gone was the vacant expression, gone was the empty smile and simplistic comments.

_This_ was the Cloud I remembered. _This_ was the Cloud I recognized.

"Cloud," I mouthed, and he nodded slightly in recognition. I saw his lips move, forming my name without any doubt.

Then, hesitating a little, Cloud formed another word, silently.

And it tore apart the foundations of my very world.

It wasn't even really a word; it was a number. Just one.

Seventeen.

* * *

_Through the Eyes of James: August 29th 5227(After Jenova)_

I stepped into the well-travelled airplane with a heavy sigh; this was the third time in the last fortnight I'd been called to ferry more "hopeless souls" to the demonic practice of Reconditioning. The Council was getting desperate; with the now well-known Cause spreading their emails and articles through the Tower like wildfire, the rehabilitation unit that had once been a myth was accumulating more patients than ever before. I looked over at the poor man I was to take this time, with the unfortunate name of Mica Call; the famous discussion, in which the Cause's founder itself had been rumored to have the initials 'MC,' had evidently reached the Council's ears.

"Please, I didn't do anything, I didn't, I _swear_," his eyes were bloodshot, his lips pale and trembling just as his hands were. He fell to his knees, and begged. "Please, from the kindness in your heart, don't-" his voice broke. He sobbed. He screamed. He cried.

I turned my eyes away, clasped my hands tightly in my lap, and hid the look of pity, the look of despair, that was echoed in my own soul.

He didn't deserve this; none of the ones I had taken deserved what lay in store for them. I picked at my sleeve, at the lines that marred all who passed through those doors.

"There's nothing I can do," I whispered to the distraught man, who raises his head from where it had hung pitifully. We touched down, but he only stared at me in painful hope, hope that was slowly and surely dying as what I had said registered. "I'm sorry."

And then I stood, dragged the man up with me, and turned for the door.

I watched him disappear with Jase, the tall, silent man somehow more menacing than the creaking, dark forest that surrounded the airfield, or even the tall imposing stone walls of the complex. Then, I turned back to the plane, thumped the partition dividing the pilot from the cabin I now crouched in, and steadied myself for take-off.

_There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do. There's __**nothing**__ I can do ..._

Maybe if I say it often enough ... I might start to believe it.

* * *

_Through the Eyes of Cissnei: December 14th 5227(After Jenova)_

I watched my brother fight in silence. He's changed a lot recently, though I doubt anyone else has noticed; no one knows him like I do.

Or at least, no one _used_ to know him like I do.

I lowered my eyes when I saw Tseng smile warmly at Reno, and fight to keep myself from screaming in frustration. How long was Reno going to lie like he had been? How long was he going to keep me in the dark? It was as plain to me as nothing before that something was up; it had taken me a full three weeks to figure out what had changed. And just now, torn between being amazed at my twin's stupidity, and disturbed at his apparent love of the creatres known as Humans, I thought of nothing other than confronting him; of demanding to know just _why_ he had abandoned his people. Demanding to know just **_why_** he had abandoned _me_.

He finished warming-down, and fell into an easy, deceptive slouch before he began the long plod to the door, where I stood. I watched him approach, making sure I was still and silent, knowing the colours of the walls around me would hide my presence until he was all but upon me.

Just as he went to step through the door, I lurched forward, snagging him elbow and bringing him whirling around, until his ear was only an inch from my shaking mouth. He gasped, but instinctively recognized the touch for who it was, and did not fight me.

Until he heard what I had to say.

"_I know who you are_," I spat through gritted teeth, so quiet he could barely hear me; Tseng, behind him, who had been talking with another Turk quietly, paused and turned to look at me. I met his eyes fearlessly over Reno's shoulder as my lips ghosted against his skin. I added, in a voice like silk and shadows; "_Ess, Ae._" SA.

He started, as if in response to a static shock, or a rodent had nipped him in the ankle. Jerking away from me, his familiar turquoise eyes met my matching pair for a fleeting second, before he raced through the doors, leaving only an echo of his startled heartbeat behind him. I whirled to watch him go with dark eyes, and was too slow to evade Tseng's tight hand clamping on my shoulder, drawing me down the corridor in the opposite direction, his conversation forgotten.

I didn't struggle; I might not know Tseng as well as my brother does, but I do know not to cross him, not to fight against him. He would always come out victorious. Always.

Suddenly, he threw me down a darkened corridor and slammed me against the wall, ignoring my exaggerated wince of pain. He pressed his hands against the wall to either side of my head, and leaned in close. I had to cross my eyes just to keep his face in focus.

"How did you know?"

My wind whirred. I was by no accounts stupid.

"How did _you_?" I countered in a thin whisper that was thick with accusation.

Tseng's eyes hardened, and for the first time, I knew _why_ his name was whispered with fear across the world; I felt the full brunt of that fear, and shivered, pressing myself against the wall as if it could swallow me whole.

"If you do not tell me, Cissnei, I'm sure the Council will be pleased to hear of your affiliation with suspected followers of the Cause."

I felt the air leave my lungs, and before I could stop myself, I gasped in urgent demand,

"Reno is suspected?"

Tseng searched my eyes, and, not knowing what he saw there, I stared back stubbornly. Finally he sighed, and leaned away, but I didn't relax. I dare not relax.

"You are worried for him?"

"No." Tseng looked at me in obvious disbelief, and I huffed, before continuing, "well ... maybe a little. I mean ... he's my brother, my _twin_ brother ... if he was sent _there _again ..." I closed my eyes, remembering the long months without the vibrance of my other half, remembering the dull pain I had refused to acknowledge, for to do so would have been to acknowledge something I wasn't ready to know yet.

"Then _why_, you _idiot_, did you confront him in a room filled to the brim with ShinRa, any number of which could have _heard you_?" Tseng was angry, angrier than I'd ever seen him before. In fact, I could not recall a single instance when Tseng had even been a _little_ angry.

Then, his words stuck me.

"Oh."

Tseng's fingers tightened their grip against the wall, before he pushed himself away and pulled on a loose strand of hair that had fallen from his tight ponytail.

"If Reno gets called up for this, Cissnei, I won't hesitate in handing _you_ in, too," Tseng warned, finally turning and leveling a stern glare at me.

"I just don't want him to be alone!" I snarled, throwing myself off the wall and edging around to face Tseng from a more defendable position.

"And why would you assume that he is alone?"

I bit my tongue sharply and jerked my head away, down and to one side, to hide the anger I could be sure was showing in my eyes. Then, my eyes widened as what the illustrious Turk had just said hit home, and I whispered in shock.

"_You?_"

Tseng gave a semi-disgusted snort, and stepped towards the widened end of the corridor, where it reattached to the main, bustling traffic of the Tower.

"_You're_ one of them?"

Tseng didn't answer.

He didn't have to.

* * *

Reno was tense the rest of the day, all through class and lunch and dinner. He avoided me like the plague, something that did not escape the attentions of our classmates.

"What's happened?" Melani asked as we lay sprawled on the couch, half-heartedly scrambling together another essay. "Did you guys fight or something?"

_Or something_, I thought gloomily. I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise ominously, and my head whipped up to see Reno sitting at one of the tables in our sparse Common Room, staring at me while his parter Rude worked diligently. Our eyes locked for a long moment, before Reno stood abruptly and turned for his room.

Throwing down my pen, ignoring Melani's cry of surprise, I followed him.

"How did you know who I am?" was the first thing Reno said as he finally confronted me in the silence and safety of his sound-proofed room.

"Puppy."

Reno swore and struck his head against the wall, clenching his fists.

"I _knew_ we missed somethin', yo," he muttered angrily, his forehead still pressed against the cold, hard plaster.

"It's alright ..." I said, though it wasn't in comfort that I said it; more for my own peace of mind. "I don't think anyone else heard it; you and Tseng were in the Training Room months ago, and you called someone Puppy. That's how I knew."

Reno sagged against the wall, and I hated that he looked so weak.

"You aren't going to tell anyone?" he whispered, sounding more vulnerable than I'd ever heard him before.

"No. You're my _brother;_ my twin," I stepped for the door, and cast over my shoulder as I left, "besides, it's more fun with you around."

The last thing I head before the door closed behind me, and a muffled sob I knew Reno would never have loosed had he not become a part of something that would, we all knew, change the very meaning of our existence.

I didn't know whether to be proud ... or disgusted.

* * *

_Through the Eyes of Denzel: November 23rd 5227(After Jenova)_

I held the sword loosely in my hands, making sure to keep the tip from dragging on the floor, and kept my eyes fixed on my father's torso. Today was a rare day, a day when my father saw me for who I was, for who I truly was, and I wasn't about to make a mess of it.

Sometimes, being the son of a Council member isn't all that exciting at all.

Suddenly, he twisted, and then I was fending off a flurry of attacks that I knew would have left any Human in pieces. A twisted pride rose inside me, and I began my own attack, drunk on the knowledge that my father was _here_.

I looked up into his vibrant eyes, and for a moment, just the barest moment, hesitated.

This man, those eyes ... those were not the eyes of my father. Not the father I knew.

My father would never look at me like that.

Then, in my hesitation, a sick glee overrode all other emotions in those eyes, and I only watched in horror as his bare blade swung down. The pain exploded across my torso and arm, with a strange numbness in my right hand, my fighting hand. My metallic sword fell from bloody fingers, and I couldn't hold back a scream of raw _pain_ that tore from my throat.

My father gasped and stepped back, a fleeting worry in his eyes, before the madness that had overcome him these last months returned, and he left without a word; leaving the masses of ShinRa that also trained on this gloomy afternoon to pick up the pieces of what he had left behind.

My father.

Abei.

* * *

The scar ran from my left shoulder, down diagonally across my chest - just barely missing my ribs, cracking only one of them - before it jumped to my right arm, skimming the inside of the wrist, and finally dragging onto my hand.

My sword hand.

It was ruined.

Three fingers had been severed, the last three; two at the knuckle, and the smallest completely vanished. My palm was severely damaged, puckered and raw, impossible for me to ever take my sword in hand ever again.

It was my father who had done this to me, my very own father, who in a fit of what could only be seen as madness, couldn't even recognize his youngest son. He was old, for a ShinRa, who usually never surpassed sixty. Abei was bordering on fifty-eight. With the pressures of the Cause spreading throughout the Tower, the pressures of leading the Council, the pressures of realizing that _the Cause might just be right ..._ it had been past time for him to snap.

But of all the days for his mind to break and spiral into insanity ... I would forever wish it had been another.

* * *

_Through the Eyes of Tifa: December 31st 5227(After Jenova)_

Tonight was New Years Eve, a night for celebrations and new beginnings.

It was also the night of my first - _real_ - mission.

I'd been a member of this rebellion for months, but much of that time had been spent familiarizing myself with my new teammates, training with them until we knew each other's styles and thoughts as well as our own. Finally, after days and weeks and almost a full year of work and sweat, I was ready to _do_ something.

I was ready to fight back.

We crept into the glorified building, on the outskirts of the Northern Crater, a city that was as much above ground as below. This building held in it five sleeping ShinRas, a control room that broadcasted to the entire city, and a weapon store that alone cost equal what a family of Humans made in ten years.

Within minutes, the building was burning, the strangely heavy smoke hinting more that simply wood and oil. Masks over our faces and the surrounding buildings having been evacuated of anyone of importance - that is, anyone _without_ the infamous legacy - we darted into shadows and non-existence, the heavy weapons we'd salvaged only slowing us down by a second.

The smallest of the group, twelve years old just this last May, I ran at the rear, glancing over my shoulder and smirking victoriously at the burning pillar that lit the dark night.

The AVALANCHE had begun.

* * *

**Next:** Part Five, Chapter One: Omen. _Set a year and a half after the rebellion group, AVALANCHE, reveals itself. Things have changed._

_Edited: 7/06/10  
_


	29. Part Five, Chapter One

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **(sigh) I'm sorry it's been forever since I last updated! It was unavoidable: two huge dentist's appointments (finally getting a cap on my front teeth! My mouth is normal! YES!), an essay, two tests, an assignment, four pages of hardcore equations, three revision sheets and a case study all kept me bogged down for _weeks_. My step-mother also just left for England for two weeks, so I've had to pose as the "mother figure" in the family, cooking dinner, doing the shopping, doing the dishes (our dishwasher broke), babysitting the kids, _feeding_ the kids, reading them a _million_ stories before bed every night ... god, I'm tired. Though at least now I can make decent pasta that doesn't have the consistency of rubber.

I've also decided to get rid of the lyrics section - it'll come back if I find something interesting, but otherwise, it's vanished. Woot.

**Important Note: **I've re-written a very small part of the previous chapter, you'll have to go through it with a fine-tooth comb to find it, but it's there. During Sephiroth's scene, I wrote "had she been ShinRa, her eyes would have been lit up like a christmas tree." Which was stupid of me, seeing as there _is_ no christmas in this story - being no religion, no chrisitanity, and therefore no baby Jesus to commemorate on this day. I have changed it to "a midday sun," if you wished to know. That is all.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Omen' by The Prodigy, 'Unwell' by Matchbox 20, 'One Day Too Late' by Skillet.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Five: SOLDIER**

**Chapter One: Omen**

It was official; the dates had been set, the times printed on neat little pieces of pastel green paper stapled on the walls of all the Trainee's bedroom.

The fourteen year old Cloud glanced at the highlighted sections, and could literally feel his heart pick up a notch in anxiety.

Laid out on his desk were crisply organized notes from his entire time at the Tower, kept in tidy folders, numbered and allocated in perfect order, even coloured tabs protruding from the edges, marking particularly important pages, or summaries of certain subjects.

Planet, no wonder Zack swore he was OCD.

Cloud tugged on his hair nervously, resisting the urge to sweep his arms across the desk and throw his notes against the wall, and gently picked up his pen once again, leaning over a half-filled page of lines wearily.

He hadn't been feeling too good, lately.

Ever since the Exams - _the_ Exams, the ones that determined whether you _graduated_ or not - had been announced, Cloud had barely left his room, not even to eat. Every second was spent in front of a desk or table, reading over notes and practice exams from previous years, memorizing dates and names and definitions until he thought his head might explode. He even took books with him on the rare visits to the Mess Hall, and would spend his meals with a half-laden spoon half way to his mouth, while his eyes scanned the open page desperately.

What little colour his skin had from his time on the rooftop faded, and he became unhealthily pale just many of the other ShinRa were. His eyes were bloodshot from too many late nights, and his hair sagged over his eyes, so that he had to blink strands away whenever he went to bend over something.

Sniffing slightly and making a mental reminder to visit the medical unit later - it wouldn't do to catch a cold so soon to the exams - Cloud bent until his nose was nearly pressed against the page, and kept on reading.

* * *

And so, the scene was set. Almost predictably - what with often-skipped meals, little sleep and barely a moment not spent studying or training - the inevitable happened. Exactly one week and three days before the first written exam, Cloud was walking down a corridor, muttering absently as he did, when a rush of lightheadedness swept through him. His vision blurred, and he had only the time to gasp in surprise before he tumbled to the ground, his notes spilling from his limp arms to scatter across the now blocked corridor.

He'd been walking with Zack at the time, and the dark-haired Trainee crouched over his friend anxiously, turning Cloud onto his back and wincing when he saw the deep smudges of black under his closed eyes, and the pale skin of his cheeks and forehead.

"Dammit, Cloud, why do you always do this to me?" Zack muttered, half in worry and half in amusement, as he lifted his thin friend (leaving the notes, they weren't that important anyway) and headed for the medical unit three floors down.

* * *

Sephiroth's eyes scanned the faintly glowing screen with accomplishment and smug victory.

He'd finally done it; what all of the other member of the Cause had failed, something they'd all been crying and moaning about ever since the Cause's birth, yet had never gotten around to succeeding in.

He'd managed to get them a willing, _real_, Human contact.

The idea had struck him over a year and a half ago, when he'd been returning from a mission about something-or-rather, and had come across a Human mob in it's early stages. When the leader proved to be inapproachable, he'd scribbled down an alternative email-address (he knew for a fact that interior ShinRa email accounts were monitored) and tucked it into her pocket.

It had taken her a full month to reply; by then, he hadn't been sure she would reply at all, so to log into his rarely-used account and see her email waiting had been a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

Until, that is, he read what she had to say.

Between the blatant abuse of several crude words - some even Sephiroth hadn't heard before - he managed to scrounge together enough non-bolded, non-italicized and non-capitalized sentences to form a polite answer regarding the weather, the state of politics and the distraught woman's ill mother.

And things had progressed on from there.

After a solid half-years of emails, he'd managed to find a relatively safe middle-ground with the female Human, whose name he'd discovered was Miriath. But even with their tentative friendship - which was barely even that - it had taken this long for her to seriously consider entering the chatrooms the Cause had on their website - which now numbered somewhere around thirty, not counting private chat rooms, or the forums that had popped up across in various corners of the site. In fact, it was only now, slouched in his rooms with Angeal and Genesis watching television in the next room, that he received an email that could very well change the fate of the world.

Not that he was going to say it - nor would she. They had already discussed the tense relations between ShinRa and Humanity, and deep down, they knew what they exchanged could bring their races closer to understanding, or tear them apart without hope of reconciliation.

Glancing over the email, Sephiroth briefly sent a prayer to the Angel that it had been the first option, rather than the latter.

_S, _

_Thanks, my mum's doing alright, there was a little touch-and-go with the surgery last week, but she got out alright. Thank Planet for science! _

_About the offer ... I checked the site out, it looks pretty good. Whoever set it up is a genius! _

_I'd be ... well, a little scared, but I reckon it'd be cool to go on the forum, as a guest speaker. I mean - an opportunity to actually speak to real ShinRas, and tell them about us, and try to convince them that we're not as stupid as they think we are! I spoke to a few of my revolutionary friends (I do believe you've met most of them ...) and they said I should go ahead with it. Well, apart from Johna. He thinks I'm mad - but what are crazy, over-protective boyfriends for, right?_

_So, I'll see about logging into the chatroom some time soon - don't worry, you'll know who I am. _

_Miriath. _

The silver-haired SOLDIER smirked in success, and quickly flipped open the email system attached to the Cause's website, designed to be anonymous so that ShinRa couldn't track them, and also a way of contacting the Admins if they were offline.

Taking only a moment to think through the message, Sephiroth was approximately half-through finishing it when a small pop-up message from the medical unit appeared in the corner of his screen.

He clicked it, somewhat apprehensively, and what he saw swiftly threw all thoughts of chatrooms and brunette Humans from his mind.

* * *

Tseng had been scrolling though a handful of recent reports from the Northern Continent, sighing at the rising toll of attacks and assassinations the recently emerged AVALANCHE had been committing on ShinRa-inhabited towns and villages, every time taking various caches of equipment, and always leaving at least one, if not more, ShinRa dead.

It had gotten to the point where the Council had decided to meet up just that next week and debate on whether to bring the SOLDIERs and Turks stationed in the Northern Continent home.

Tseng sighed, and was about to close the depressing screen when a small grey pop-up screen surprised him with a pleasant ringing.

He scanned the message, and faster than the eye could see, had the laptop folded, under his arm, and was half-running, half-sprinting down the corridor in the exact direction of the large, sterile medical center.

* * *

Sephiroth entered the reception area with a dramatic slamming of the white doors and a superior sniff, and the nervous Human receptionist immediately motioned for him to continue into the wards. He walked down the reflective corridor, scanning the names printed beside each door until he came to one marked 'STRIFE.'

_Planet ... what's he gotten into this time?_

_And more importantly ... why the heck did they call _me_?_

He took a deep breath, adjusted the laptop under his arm (having been in too much of a hurry to put it away when he left the apartments) and entered the quiet, still room as silently as he was able.

Then nearly gave himself a heart attack when he saw the dark-haired Turk who was already sitting in one of the two plush bedside seats.

"Tseng?" Sephiroth remembered to keep his voice hushed at the last moment, casting a look at the alarmingly pale, thin blonde that looked even paler and thinner, against the white sheets, cradled by a bed that was far too large for him. "What are you doing here?"

Tseng turned his head a little, but couldn't bear to rip his almond-shaped eyes away from the unconscious Trainee.

"I'm one of Cloud's trainers ... or at least, I used to be," Tseng reluctantly informed Sephiroth in a voice just barely above a whisper. "Scarlet is traveling across the channel in Corel, and couldn't be here; so I came."

Sephiroth gave a small nod, and moved to sit on the other deeply cushioned chair, noting absently that Tseng had also brought his laptop along. The silver-haired SOLDIER cast a last, long look at his unconscious half-brother, before opening his thin laptop slowly.

This time, he didn't notice Tseng do the same; he was too busy tapping in an email to the Administrator of the Cause, the ever-elusive SA.

* * *

In Reno's absence, just as he had promised the red-haired Trainee, Tseng had posed as the younger Turk's alias on the Cause, so his lack of contact wouldn't be noticed, or deemed suspicious. So far, no one had been suspicious of the surprisingly smooth change over; after studying the mode of speech Reno adopted in the forums and emails, Tseng was able to imitate the Trainee easily, as if flicking a switch in his mind to change from "Reno-talk" and back again. It had come to a point where he had to consciously think in his own grammatical terms whenever he signed into the website as himself, FO, who was a notoriously scarce Administrator to pin down.

So, of course, it was nothing less than habit that had him signing into the Cause's site as SA, Reno's alias, rather than his own.

Little did he know, typing those few letters rather than just two others, would change _everything_.

* * *

Sephiroth had just finished the last sentence; the now stiff silence in the room was deadening, with both Tseng and himself too socially awkward to break it, and Cloud - quite obviously - unconscious and in no state to start any conversations.

So, with a small sigh, the silver-haired SOLDIER typed in a last few letters - the recipient's name, the Administrator he had become closest to over the years - and tapped the send button with a great deal of flair and a little more satisfaction than usual.

He was just going to close the window, when he heard a faint, familiar chime echo through the room.

* * *

Tseng was reading through the current logs - hunting down any interlopers or officials trying to hunt down the followers of the Cause, removing their damaging words from the history - when a small blue square lit up softly in the corner, accompanied with a light chime that had him wincing a little as it rang loudly in the small room. As always, he had forgotten to silence his laptop, a constant course of anxiety for him as it drew attention to his screen - and any ... incriminating pages that may be open at that time.

So when Sephiroth's head whipped up to stare at him for a split second, before whirling back down to stare too intently at his own laptop - a movement Tseng had caught just in the corner of his vision - he thought little of it. It had happened before; since the beginning of the Cause, things like this had been happening in frequent numbers. But it mattered not; after all, who would dare compare the outgoing, laid-back, slang-using, obviously young SA with himself, an esteemed Council member who wouldn't be caught dead with bad grammer? No one.

And he intended to keep it that way.

* * *

Sephiroth stared at his screen, his eyes actually blurring a little at the intensity.

And all he could think was:

_Oh Planet, oh Planet, oh shit, oh Planet, fuck, fuck! I just - Tseng - what the fuck - he's_

He blinked.

_Tseng is _SA_? What the _hell?

Had evidence not unashamedly presented itself in just that moment ... he would have never believed it. In fact, had further evidence not appeared, he might have passed the incident off as coincidence. But no; it was not to be.

* * *

Still puzzling over the other Council member's odd behavior, Tseng scrolled through the enlightening email, his eyes lighting up at he did. And quickly, he double-clicked on the underlined word 'Seventeen' - a follower he, as SA, had developed a healthy working relationship with - and entered the private chat room, having noted that the member was still online by the green circle beside his username.

_AdminSA has joined the conversation. _

_Seventeen has joined the conversation. _

AdminSA: Hey - u still there?

* * *

Sephiroth closed his eyes, peeked through one lid, then cursed silently when the blazingly obvious words were still there, imprinted on the screen, impossible to deny. With a distant mind, he relaised that Tseng was looking at _him_, now, having heard the telling _ding_ of arrival; not to be outdone, not wanted to be the one to raise the subject between them, here, _now_, _in person_, he dallied. And entered a reply.

Seventeen: Yes.

* * *

By the time five simple, one-worded sentences had been sent, Sephiroth and Tseng had abandoned the laptops and were staring openly at each other over the open screens.

Tseng, his slanting eyes far wider than usual and his cheeks an unusual green pallor, was remembering every conversation he had ever held with Seventeen; the sophisticated, at first reluctant, and eventually mentor-like figure who had been one of their earliest supporters. And tried to replace this friendly, approachable figure, with the stony-faced SOLDIER who was held in the highest prestige not only in the Council, but all across the world.

All the while, Sephiroth was remembering the fun, unabashed, crude and very often grammatically incorrect online personality that was AdminSA, one of the first figures he'd met on the site of the Cause. Then tried to place it with the stoic, proud, and above all, correct Tseng that would never be caught with a misspelled word no matter the circumstance.

And remembering some of the things Tseng, under the alias of AdminSA, had said ... Sephiroth raised an eyebrow slowly.

Tseng flushed and slammed his laptop close with an embarrassed frown adorning his face, then turned to Cloud with much flourishing and rearrangement, angling his head so it was almost impossible to meet his fellow Council member's eyes.

Sephiroth had just opened his mouth to address the matter, when a shifting of fabric that was neither of them broke their increasingly awkward postures.

Cloud blinked weakly, staring up at the white ceiling incomprehensibly, before suddenly shuddering deeply and vaulting up and off the bed, half-way across the room before he'd realized where he was.

"Ts-Tseng?" he muttered, rising from the instinctive crouch he'd fallen into. "Where am I?" He had yet to sense Sephiroth, sitting behind him with his luminescent green eyes unfocused on his half-brother's spiked blonde hair.

"You're..." Tseng's voice trailed off, still reeling from the revelations the day had held so far. He resisted the urge to focus his eyes beyond Cloud, and fought to keep his attention on the gently swaying Trainee. "... in the medical unit. You ... erm ... fainted."

Cloud frowned and looked down at his half-bare arm, the sleeve ending somewhere just beyond his elbow. His fingers twitched, resisting the urge to pull the flimsy fabric down over the revealed skin.

"Why did I ...?" Cloud muttered absently, but before he could continue, his eyes widened and his trained senses finally kicked in. He whirled around and stared at Sephiroth openly, puzzled as to why his elusive half-brother was there. "What's-"

Just then, the door was thrown open, startling both Council members so that they jumped uncharacteristically in their tense environment, one Cloud - who merely turned - did not share. Two people entered the room, one ShinRa, one not. The Human was a nurse, who glanced between Cloud, the ruffled bed, and a clipboard chart she bore nervously. The ShinRa, however, was of far more interest to Cloud.

"Zack!" he muttered, stepping forward and just barely gathering himself before he was lost under the bear hug the older Trainee snatched him into.

"Holy - fucking - don't - _do_ that!" Zack growled, stepped back and mock-glaring at Cloud through glowing eyes. "You _scared_ me, Spike!"

"Don't call me that!" Cloud protested, though he smiled anyway. "You _know_ I don't like-"

"Yeah, yeah," Zack rolled his eyes, clapping Cloud soundly on the shoulder and moving past him to lounge comfortably on the hospital bed. "Next time we spar, I'll let you kick my ass for it."

"I don't need you to 'let' me, I can kick your ass any day of the week, Zack," Cloud retorted truthfully, folding his arms and wincing to hide a sudden fatigue - not unlike the weakness he had experienced just before he'd collapsed earlier - that washed through him. His eyes darted to the window, then the door, but he passed off the motion as habit; searching for an escape route. Nothing more.

It was Tseng who finally, just five minutes later after a small examination by the nurse, made the connection.

"Do you have any medical conditions?" the Human asked prettily, ticking off and jotting numbers on her clipboard with a thin silver pen. "Asthma, blood pressure, anorexia, anything like that?"

Tseng's eyes turned sharply to Cloud, calculating and sorrowed in equal portions.

"Cloud," he started, hesitating over how to word the particular question he needed answered. "When was the last time you ... went up?"

Cloud frowned, then closed his eyes as he realized what Tseng was trying to say.

"You mean to ...?"

"Yes."

"I ... haven't been there since ... he left. The last time I went up ... there ... was to say goodbye," Cloud paused between every other word, painfully aware of Zack's curious eyes behind him, and Sephiroth's equally heavy gaze boring into his neck.

Tseng noticed his young friend's discomfort, and was quick to reassure him,

"Don't worry; he knows."

"About-?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Cloud paused. "So I suppose that means you also know what-"

"Yes, I do."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Zack cried, jumping up from the bed and waving his arms about crazily. "Spike, your my best friend, but _fuck_ you drive me _crazy_ sometimes!"

Cloud lowered his eyes.

"I'm ... when I was little and I lived with the - uh," his eyes went to the nurse, who was watching him entirely too carefully, "my mother, erm, there was an accident when I was about seven years old and me and my friend were trapped under a - a collapsed building," he cleared his throat and shuffled his feet silently. "We were under there for about an hour and a half before anyone found us, and ... while we were down there ..." Cloud closed his eyes. "We were scared, very scared, no one knew we were up there, as far as we knew, no one was coming to - to save us. We thought we'd die down there ... we thought that ..."

Zack moved to stand at Cloud's shoulder comfortingly, and Sephiroth was watching from his slouching seat with a puzzled expression.

"An-anyway, the thing is, ever since that day, when me and Ti - and my friend were trapped down there in a space so small even I wouldn't be able to fit into it any more ... I've been really ... really awkward when ... erm ..."

"He's claustrophobic," Sephiroth finally butted in, suddenly remembering that detail from the report a doctor had issued on the blonde's initial arrival at the Tower. "The R - erm," he shot a slightly sympathetic look at his away-turned brother, "training was supposed to have cured him of that, but if what you're saying is true ..."

"Cloud, have you noticed any unusual symptoms lately? Elevated heart rate, disturbed sleep patterns, uneasiness or paranoia?" the nurse asked promptly, scribbling another word or two on the sheet of paper.

Cloud blinked.

"I - well, _yes_, but I thought the stress was just from the exams-"

"Cloud, you haven't been up there in almost a year," Tseng reminded him softly. "You grew up in open air with only a mountain for a rooftop and nature as your wall and window. 'That place' was the _only_ place that has any similar qualities to your hometown and, one could say, it was what kept you sane. But recently, you've been cooped up in the Tower, constantly encased on all four sides by walls, doors, between floors and floors of other rooms below and above, with no reprieve. You _need_ to go back up there."

"I was ... I was waiting until he got ... back," Cloud mumbled, lowering his eyes to hide the pain. "It's only another year-"

"-and how much longer do you think you'll last?" Sephiroth cut in sharply. Cloud whirled to face the hard-faced SOLDIER, his eyes lighting in apprehension; he and his half-brother had had only minimal interaction during the entire time he'd been at the Tower. Since revealing to the silver-haired ShinRa that he'd known his username on the Forums, Seventeen, they'd exchanged barely a nod and a glance between them. And even before then, the longest conversation they'd held - _ever_ - was a night Cloud could barely remember, when Nanaki had been taken and Sephiroth had found him wandering the corridors aimlessly. "One month, two? How many more times will you collapse? You're no good to the Council if you pass out during the final tests, or on an assignment! There is a _war_ going on _right now_, Cloud, we need every one we can get." Sephiroth paused for effect, then finished dramatically, "we need _you._"

What the SOLDIER had spoken was truth; there _was_ a war going on, on two separate fronts for the ShinRa of the Planet. The first war of a sort had begun just under a year and a half ago, when AVALANCHE had revealed itself and begun it's crusade against ShinRa, starting in the Northern Continent and slowly sweeping their way down as they bombed and attacked the various outposts stationed there.

The second war, was one the world had been lingering on the brink of for over two decades. Gaia, finally out of patience against the only "free" country of Wutia, had retaliated against the denied attacks the island country had committed. And now, the Eastern Shore of the Eastern Continent, Quadra, Round Island, the infamous Chocobo Grasslands, even Fort Condor, lay under the tense fear of attack. Committed by a treaty signed years, centuries, ago, ShinRa sent men and women in their hundreds; but somehow, no matter how many Wutians they stopped, they just kept coming. It was the first time ShinRa had ever been matched in a fight; not through strength, but through strength in _numbers._

And Cloud realized this, now. He realized that it wasn't just the Trainees the Council needed; they needed someone strong, someone who could end the wars on both fronts. Someone who could fight against AVALANCHE, and still have the strength to be sent to the front lines in the deserted wastelands of the Eastern Plains and the deserted towns that were becoming overrun with foreignen armies. Sephiroth and the other Council members were already being pushed to their limits, the half-crazed Abei pushing them to their limits in every way. All First Class SOLDIERs, the Turks highest in the command chain, _everyone_ had been sent off to try and stop the inevitable.

But it wasn't enough.

Sephiroth was right; they needed him. They needed his Presence, the strength and skill Scarlet claimed was unrivaled by anyone within a twenty-year age gap. And they didn't just need him; they needed him whole, and well.

Cloud's shoulders sagged with the weight of responsibility, and he took one small step, then another, to the doorway.

"Well then, lets go," he sighed almost sarcastically. "You're coming with."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Tseng, who turned his eyes downward and smirked a little, while Zack only watched his friend stalk past the spluttering nurse with a tiny frown on his face.

And then Sephiroth turned, and followed.

* * *

The boy - who was, in truth, more of a man than a boy - lay sprawled on his flat bed, a single mattress against the floor with exactly three blankets folded neatly at the end. The man held propped between two fingers a bent, singed card that was tarnished by smoke and ripped in one corner from an act of anger he was both proud, and ashamed of.

His dull green eyes blinked up at the ceiling, and he turned the card in his hands without glancing down, running his fingers over the familiar grooves and creases.

Were it not for this card ... he would not be alive.

* * *

He could remember that day so clearly: bright and early, a weekend if memory served, he had run down well-beaten paths, snuck through tall, dry grasses and smiled naively at the beauty of nature, the rising sun, the dew dampening his torn jeans.

He had snuck to his friend's home that morning, disobeying every order given to him by disappointed parents and his stern school teacher.

He'd just heard the rumor: that his friend was leaving, never to return. That his _best_ friend was leaving, and that he would never, ever, see him again.

He'd ran to that window, spoken to his friend who already looked so different to the boy he'd been only the day before, and he had walked away still clutching that (stolen) card, twisting it between his fingers and already anticipating the time when his best, _best_ friend, would return.

He had been a quarter of the road home when the ground rumbled, and thick smoke purged through the air.

Then voices had rushed around him: the Mayor, his daughter, a woman who moved like the living dead and might as well have been for the look on her face.

The Mayor shouted of a cave, little known, where they might take cover, ignoring the boy's innocent questions of where the Mayor's wife, the girl's mother, was. At his advice, they had torn strips of fabric from a heavy fabric he'd pulled from a pocket, and tied it around their mouths and noses, to keep the heavy fumes from choking them.

They would not realize until much, much later, that this was perhaps the only reason they had survived unscathed.

They only barely reached the narrow cave when an ear shattering crash resonated, heat blazed, darkness overcame the sky and the world was thrown into an apocalyptic shadow.

Then, there was darkness no longer; instead, the inky black was replaced with a deep, glowing red. Fire, molten rock, that the boy watched as it flowed over his screaming, terrified village, as it destroyed his life before his very eyes.

And somehow, through the screams and roars and the crack of burst rock, he heard one voice he would never, never forget for the rest of his very existence.

"Johnny! _Johnny!_"

It was his mother. Calling for him. He could imagine the look on her face as she searched his room and realized that he wasn't there. He could imagine the desperation in her voice, her face, everything, when she realized that _he wasn't there_.

With a strangled cry, the boy darted forward, ignoring the Mayor's lunge to hold him back. The girl was too busy attempting to comfort the pale woman who screamed her throat _raw_ for her own lost child. The boy ignored all of them, running through the dark and red, following his mother's dying voice.

His feet tripped on the crumbling ground as it cracked from heat and wear. The lower he descended into the valley of the mountain, the thicker the air became, the heavier. Heat rose, and soon his bare skin was red and sweating like a pig at the slaughterhouse. He had to do this; he had to get there; he _had_ to _save_ her.

The boy was halfway to the village when it happened. The trailing end of the make-shift mask he'd tied around his face caught on a shriveled, burning branch that crooked and stretched away from it's dying host. Fire leapt down the thick fabric, caught onto the boy's worn clothes, and within moments his own screams joined the desperate, fading cries of the village below.

The boy didn't feel the Mayor lifting him, nor did he feel the giant man carrying him back up the impossible slope to the cave, nor did he feel as the man drowned the fire in his colossal hands and exposed the painfully raw flesh underneath.

All the boy could hear, near delirious in his sorrow, was the fading cry of his mother - a cry he could no longer hear, as fire and ash flowed over the village and tore apart every dream and memory they had ever held of that place.

* * *

Years later, hands ran over the thin, almost smooth skin of his left cheek, over the shiny red scar that began in one corner of his mouth and spread across his jaw and shoulder in a twisted, rippling pattern.

There were some days when he wished Gareth had never saved him from that fire, some days when he wished he had never dared to say goodbye to Cloud that innocent morning. Then, he might have had the chance to say goodye to his mother. He might have had the chance to tell her how sorry he was, how incredibly sorry he was for causing so much trouble.

It tore him apart, knowing that the only reason he'd survived while she did not, was because he had disobeyed her.

His hands tightened over the card that was both the bane, and saviour, of his life. He didn't cry; he hadn't, not even once, since that first night. That night when his mother's screams had finally, fatally, faded into nothing.

* * *

**Next:** Part Five, Chapter Two: Don't Jump. _Sephiroth and Cloud talk and a load of stuff happens. Enlightenment ensues. For once, I actually have a plot pre-written for it. _


	30. Part Five, Chapter Two

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **I bet y'all were thinking you'd never hear from me again, huh? Jeez, it's been almost a _month_ since I last updated ... I can't believe it's been so long! I could harp on with excuses and petty tales ... but I know no-one reads these anyway :) The only reason I'm writing this chapter is because I'm sick with nothing better to do than sniff, knock back pills, throw up and type. Hopefully I can get my enthusiasm for this fanfiction back ... I really don't want to abandon it! I have so much planned ...

Anyway, here it is: The Chapter That _Almost_ Didn't Exist In The Story That _Almost_ Got Discontinued. Enjoy!

**Important:** I have made some slight changes to the previous chapter. I got my Western and Eastern Continents mixed up. -.-;

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Don't Jump' by Tokio Hotel, 'White Noise' by The Living End and "Forbidden Friendship" from the 'How to Train Your Dragon' Soundtrack. Also an assortment of songs by Adam Lambert and The Veronicas. Dunno why.

**Warning: **Actually a pretty depressing chapter now I read over it. Just letting you know.

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Five: SOLDIER**

**Chapter Two: Don't Jump**

It took only five minutes, if that, to reach the metaphorical summit of the peak that was the Tower. Cloud emerged into the light first, under Sephiroth's watchful eye. He could feel the hidden tension in his shoulders fading as the crisp, fresh air struck him. His fingers curled away from his clammy palms, and he stood taller than he had in weeks.

Sephiroth, emerging from behind him, noticed the difference immediately. He couldn't stop a dry chuckle from escaping, and Cloud whirled from where he had been admiring the sunlight beyond the shadows cast within the massive dome.

"What?" he demanded.

"You really are a mountain child," Sephiroth smirked. "You just love being up high, don't you?" _You can't get much higher than the Tower,_ he thought to himself wryly.

Cloud gave a thoughtful hum, walked to the edge of the narrow passageway and extended his hand into the light, sighing in the warmth and feel of it.

"I never thought of it like that ..." he muttered absently, turning his palm and watching as a single scar across the curve of his hand reflected the beam of light weakly. "But ... I guess I always did feel better when I was up here. I almost feel like I'm ..." _home. _

"Who was that person you and Tseng spoke of?" Sephiroth asked absently, moving past Cloud and walking onto the vast rooftop of the equally vast Tower. "The one you used to come up here with."

"You won't know him," Cloud dismissed the query, as if it were nothing, even as he tensed noticeably in the corridor between the two halves of the dome.

"Try me."

"... Reno."

Sephiroth's blank look said it all, and against his will, Cloud found himself compelled to elaborate.

"He's ... well, you probably know him as 'SA'."

"SA? I thought _Tseng_ was SA-"

"No, Tseng's only filling in while Reno's gone. Tseng's _real_ code is FO."

"I ... well, that does make a lot more ..."

"Sense?" Cloud's guarded eyes were shining with brief, fleeting amusement. "Tseng doesn't quite fit the personality of SA, does he?"

Sephiroth nodded his agreement, before quite suddenly voicing the next topic on his ever expanding agenda.

"What are you?"

" ... half-Human, half-ShinRa, male, five feet tall last time I checked-"

"_Cloud_," Sephiroth stressed his name, rolling his eyes. "I _meant_, what are you to the _Cause_."

Cloud shot him an almost-smug grin, before falling back into his familiar mask.

"I am the one who ... prompted the creation of-"

"_You_ came up with it? Now ... why doesn't that surprise me ..."

"I didn't come up with it, I planted the i_deas_ that - helped-"

"Which is the same as coming up with it-"

"No, I didn't! Reno designed the web page ... I just gave him a nudge to see things from my side of the story, that's all."

"Who's Reno again?"

"He's ... I'm not sure he'd want me to tell you."

"Since when have you cared about what other people think?"

Cloud flushed and glared a the back of Sephiroth's shiny head.

"He's my _best_ friend-"

"I thought Zachary Fair was your best friend?"

"He-" Cloud paused. "Wait - how do _you_ know who Zack is?"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"You mean he hasn't told you?"

"Told m- look, I don't have the time for this, all I wanted to ask you was-"

"Oh, so now fourteen year olds run around with schedules so tight they can't spare a ten-minute conversation with their brother?"

Cloud gritted his teeth momentarily and resisted the urge to stop his foot childishly.

"I have exams in a week and a half's time, I don't have the time to sit about doing _nothing_-"

"So why did you bring me up here in the first place?"

Cloud didn't answer. He couldn't.

Sephiroth laughed quietly to himself, though sobered quickly. Pacing a little, still facing away from his silent sibling, he began to speak, "... actually ... I have something I need to talk to _you_ about - if you can spare the time, that is," his voice lilted in a way that mocked Cloud's "busy timetable." Sephiroth paused, before swiveling on the balls of his feet to face Cloud, who refused to look at him. "I've already sent an email to S ... Tseng, but I want to talk about it to you, too. Seeing as you're the Leader and all-"

"I am _not_ the Leader!" Cloud cried exasperatedly, throwing his head back, followed by his torso until he twisted and his forehead struck against the metallic wall in frustration.

"By the looks of things, you're the closest thing the Cause has to one," Sephiroth retorted softly, seriously, without the hint of teasing and belittlement he'd held only just before, "which is why you're the best person for the job I need to ask of you."

Cloud pushed himself off the wall and moved towards Sephiroth, ignoring the refreshing feel of raw sunlight against his face.

"What is it?"

"I've ... just this morning received an email from a Human contact of mine. She's agreed to - if you so wish - come online to the Cause and speak with the ShinRa that are online at that time."

Cloud blinked, ran through his half-brother's words in his mind, then stared. He and the other administrators - for lack of a better word - had been trying for months to find and contact a Human willing to speak in an online conference, but all so far all they had emailed or approached were immediately distrustful of the mysterious individuals asking for their personal details, and had assumed them a spam or hacker.

But here ... now ... Sephiroth was the last person Cloud would have expected to succeed where they had failed, and was both pleasantly surprised and awed. He and Angeal had been close to faking a Human login, something that would have ruined the Cause's reputation if it were discovered, so to have a _real_ Human, _willing_ to do so was ...

Cloud paused his train of through, and his eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly.

How did _he_ know this Human was real?

"I want to meet him."

"He's a _her_, actuall - she - what?" It took a few moments for Sephiroth's mind to catch up with his mouth, but when it did, he too was stunned speechless. "Are you s-"

"I'm sure," Cloud said firmly, with a seriousness rarely seen in youth his age, especially within the Tower. "I want to make sure I'm dealing with the right person: having a rabid ShinRa Hater let loose on the site would be a disaster." Sephiroth winced as he remembered the woman Miriath had been before they began their correspondence - summed up in three words, "Rabid ShinRa Hater" to the core. "And ... it'll need to be _after_ the exams, I have too much work to do now-"

"No, Cloud," Sephiroth stopped him, "You can't go after the exams-"

"Why not?"

"Because _then_ you'll be a fully certified, _active_ SOLDIER. They'll be watching your every step, tracking you to make sure you don't go anywhere you shouldn't."

"Like a completely random Human's place of residence ..." Cloud muttered sarcastically, while Sephiroth nodded in agreement.

"Besides, right now we have the perfect excuse to leave the Tower, and for me to accompany you."

"We do?"

"Oh, yes," Sephiroth smirked, just a little. "How good are your acting skills?"

* * *

Cloud made sure his adopted "I'm-half-crazy-and-I-know-it" look was kept securely in place until he and his silent half-brother were well away from the watching eyes of the Tower, and it's security cameras that had no doubt been tracking them from the moment Sephiroth posted an enquiry into leaving the confines of the Tower.

Speaking to the nurse was only the first step; she, of course, knew of Cloud's claustrophobia, and with the condition already entered into his profile from the day he'd appeared at the Tower, it was simple enough to ask for a day outside the stifling rooms and walls the Tower presented. And when the question popped up of who was to accompany Cloud in his revitalizing trip to the open air of the city, it was only natural his brother - not only bound to protect him by blood, but also a well-known member of the Council, one of the best SOLDIERs of his generation with a flawless, untarnished record - should keep track of him and "protect" him in the cruel world of the Humans.

Soon after, Sephiroth was to be found flying through forms, aided by Tseng who, while having a distant idea of what was happening, hadn't been told the full story (with hovering clerks and nurses and officials generating far too much risk to even whisper the situation in his ear) yet was still signing Cloud's temporary guardianship over to the tall, esteemed Sephiroth. Cloud, sitting timidly in the corner with the same nurse from earlier hovering over him, had made sure to school his face into one of panic and paranoia, his still-not-yet dispelled claustrophobia that had been clawing at him for weeks already him in bringing forth the perfect expression. By summoning a thin sheen of sweat to his face and biting his nails down to the quick, the image of a desperate young ShinRa on the verge of breakdown at really all too simple to create.

The tall gates to the stone courtyard surrounding the Tower opened electronically with a faint buzz only a ShinRa could have heard. When he and Sephiroth, walking side-by-side, passed through, he felt a weight he hadn't known he was carrying fall away. It had been years since he'd left the Tower. Years since he'd left ShinRa's tight grasp; this was the closest he'd come to freedom in so long, he savored every step in a way he'd never thought he would until now.

Sephiroth looked down at the young blonde, resisting the urge to smile fondly.

"You seem uncharacteristically happy," he commented in a low voice, aware of the Humans that watched them from across the street, having crossed themselves just to avoid the intimidating figure Sephiroth posed in his gleaming leather and with his impossibly long sword strapped across his back.

In contract, the small, almost weak-looking Cloud was laughable beside his half-brother, who was over three heads taller than him. And to think, Cloud had actually hit a growth spurt recently ...

"Exactly where is this place we're going to?" Cloud asked quietly, his eyes too tracking the movements of the indigenous people of Midgar with interest, just as they watched him. Many of the Humans had never seen a ShinRa so young before; the only ShinRa who usually left the Tower were graduated, SOLDIERs or Turks far older than him. He was as much a wonder to them as they were to him.

"In the Southern Suburbs, beneath the Plate."

_Beneath the Plate?_ Cloud's eyes widened as he recalled every story his mother had told him of the place, having lived there herself for ten years between the birth of Sephiroth, and the birth of himself. She's worked in a bar named Seventh Heaven for that duration, and had accidentally robbed the place of several hundred Gil when Vincent ended up drinking half the bar dry, then paying her with-

Cloud blushed, cutting the thought off before he could complete it. He really didn't want to think about his mother and fa - _that_ person having s-

"Do I _want_ to know?" Sephiroth asked dryly when Cloud struck himself three times in he forehead as chastisement, his face the exact colour of the blinking traffic lights around them.

"No, you don't," Cloud muttered, ignoring his half-brother's amused laugh.

"We're going down, now," Sephiroth announced at length, when they arrived at a tall structure made almost entirely of glass and metal beams. Inside, Cloud could see Humans standing in poor excuses of lines, waiting to enter what he could only assume were elevators, though far larger and shabbier than any he'd seen in the Tower.

"Does that take us-?"

"Below the Plate, yes. There's a fifty-Gil fee per head to get in, unless ..."

"Let me guess: unless you're ShinRa?"

"Precisely," Sephiroth shook his head in disgust, pushing the glass doors to the large structure open, Cloud following closely behind him. It was something akin to a Train Station, though with only five elevators that travelled to only one place and back again; Cloud could see that two of the available five were present, the other three obviously in the process of transferring it's passengers to Lower Midgar, or back again. A booming voice announced every few minutes over a loudspeaker the status of the various elevators - which were, evidently, rather slow in their descent and ascent, something Cloud guessed was due to their size. There were cheaply padded plastic seats laid across the place, and he could even see some families hugging and crying their goodbyes, as if they were gone to another world instead of just a few hundred meters below them.

"Why are they all so ... sad?" Cloud whispered to Sephiroth as they approached one of the ticketing booths that guarded the entrance to the lines queuing for the elevators.

"Fifty Gil is a lot of money for one Human to earn, especially here where jobs are few and far between with such a dense population," Sephiroth murmured back. "Often, they only have enough for a one-way trip, and it may be months or years before they have the money to return."

"Then why are they going down there in the first place?" Cloud frowned as they took one step closer to the booth.

"Because they don't have any other options," Sephiroth breathed in his ear, but before Cloud could ask what he meant, they were quite suddenly at the front of the line, handed two silver tickets to the Elevators - free of charge, of course - and being ushered not to the ends of the lines, but the front. Ahead of the hundreds of Humans Cloud knew had been waiting for hours, if not longer. He could feel their angry gazes on the back of his neck, and would have cringed if it weren't for Sephiroth's hand that came to lay gently on his back.

"There's nothing we can do ... yet," he whispered to calm his younger brother, who nodded silently, but said nothing. There was nothing that could be said.

The next elevator arrived in only half an hour, and Sephiroth and Cloud were the first to the allowed in, given a small row of comfortably cushioned seats at the rear of the Elevator that were not worn or broken as the others were. Cloud watched awkwardly as the Humans shuffled in, some taking seats when they showed their tickets to the guards beside the doors, others merely standing in the free space that had been left at the front of the elevator for that purpose.

"Why are some of them standing, and some sitting?" Cloud said out of the corner of his mouth.

"It costs _extra_ to sit down," Sephiroth replied through gritted teeth, ignoring the angry growl that ripped from Cloud's throat.

"And I don't suppose any of them will be sitting _there_, will they?" Cloud asked angrily, gesturing fiercely to the ten empty velvet seats beside the identical ones he and Sephiroth sat in. Sephiroth shook his head minutely, and Cloud closed his eyes, suppressing the urge to break something.

Fifteen excruciating minutes later, and they were welcomed off the damply-lit elevator and into the dark, shadowy depths of Lower Midgar.

Cloud raised his head the moment they left the now wooden building, and his heart fluttered a little when he saw not sky, as he had become so used to seeing, but a thick seething mass writhing with wires and pipes, blackened with soot and dust and groaning under the weight of over a million people. The Plate was supported by impossibly thick supports five or so hundred meters apart, and the space between ... was impossible to describe. Buildings, tall and misshapen, small and squat, some of them metal and solid wood, others crafted from whatever was available, sprawled with no sense of organization on streets that were not straight or orderly, like they were _above_ the Plate, but crooked and incomplete with pit-holes and rubble often blocking a lane or two. Not that there was any traffic to speak of; upon asking Sephiroth, Cloud discovered most if not all who lived under the Plate walked or took the subway that ran hanging off the underside of the Plate. There was no place for luxuries such as _cars _beneath the plate.

The people themselves were no better; pale from lack of sunlight that was substituted by glaringly bright lights set thrice every kilometer on the underside of the Plate - one in every ten broken and not repaired - and lit an unhealthy glow in their faces. Their clothing was equally as drab, and what few children they saw were often thin and lacking the jubilance Cloud remembered of his own childhood.

"This place ..." Cloud whispered in shock, in pain. "It's ..."

"I know," Sephiroth murmured. "I can still remember the first time _I_ came down here. It's horrible isn't it?"

Cloud nodded silently, and then the two set forth into the chaos and madness that Lower Midgar had become in the hundreds of years since it was created.

* * *

About halfway to the mysterious "Miriath"s place of residence, Sephiroth realized it might be a good idea to _warn_ her of their coming; having two ShinRa's suddenly pop up at her front door probably wasn't the best idea he'd had.

"Wait a second," he called to Cloud, who had continued on while he stopped on the side of the bustling road.

"What is it?" Cloud frowned as he walked back.

"I need to call her, tell her we're coming," Sephiroth said, a little embarrassed through he'd never admit it.

" ... you mean you didn't _tell_ her?" Cloud stared at Sephiroth in amazement. "What kind of a house guest _are_ you?"

"Shush, shorty, it's ringing," Sephiroth growled down at him, and Cloud was stunned speechless for only a split second before exploding.

"Shorty! _Shorty!_ What the fuck do you think you're doing calling me sho-mfph," he glared when Sephiroth clapped a hand around his brother's mouth and spoke into his glowing phone in a politely friendly, _calm_ tone.

"Hello, may I speak to Miriath please? This is her? This is ... Sephiroth speaking," the SOLDIER hesitated to use his name, remembering too late that the Council sometimes monitored the phone lines, and prayed they weren't listening to this very conversation just yet. "Yes, it really is me ... erm, I have something I need ... I've spoken to one the Leader of the Cause - the one who came up with the idea-" Cloud's eyes glared up at him from under his hand, struggling to get loose and failing miserably, "-and he said he wants to meet you for himself, just to see you're not a hoax, and to tell if you're the right kind of ... personality he wants on the Cause ... yes, I know he's a control freak-" this time, Sephiroth had to catch his breath when Cloud bit down sharply on his brother's hand, forcing him to release his mouth, "-but he's my brother, and I really want his approval before we go ahead with anything ... yes, he really is my brother ... yes, ShinRa _do have_ brothers ... yes ... five minutes ... alright." Sephiroth shut the phone off with a thumbed button and glared down at the defiant blonde. "Do you want to go through with this or not?"

"Do you want me to block your _username_ or not?" Cloud retorted as they started moving forward again.

"You wouldn't," Sephiroth's eyes narrowed.

"I would," Cloud shot back, crossing his arms. He maintained his grumpy, un-impressed attitude for only a few more seconds, before bursting out into a short storm of laughter that ended just as quickly as it had begun. "I'm sorry, but I haven't had this much fun since Reno left," his eyes smiled up at Sephiroth. "You're really easy to get wound up, you know that?"

Sephiroth shook his head in disbelief and, mumbling something about disruptive teenagers Cloud didn't quite catch, the two continued the impossibly long walk to the house of the unknown Human contact, Miriath.

* * *

Miriath lowered the cheap plastic phone onto it's cradle and winced when she heard the sounds of low voices in the next room, muffled by the thin wooden wall that lay between them. Still contemplating how she was going to break the news to them, she stepped into the make-shift headquarters and smiled at the small assortment of friends and family that were arranged there.

"Hey, babe, what was that all about?" Johna, her boyfriend of three years, asked from his place on a sagging couch to one side of the door.

"Uh," Miriath bit her lip a little, and raised her voice so everyone could hear, "guys! _Guys!_"

There were about ten of them in that room, all of them university students at the local, run down campus of Lower Midgar, and all of them members of a "Free-Humanity" movement Miriath had joined in her first year at Uni. She had taken on unofficial leadership ever since the riot they'd accidentally started a few years ago outside the Tower, and ever since had been working on ways to broaden awareness of suppression not only in Midgar, but in Junon, and on the Western Continent too. But none of the others knew of her involvement with the ShinRa, Sephiroth; none of them had any idea of what she was just about to announce.

"Yeah, Mir'?" her best friend Kalia yawned, lounging over the back of the only other couch, her feet planted firmly in her brother's stomach. "What is it?"

"Erm ... it looks like we'll be having some .. guests over this afternoon," Miriath faked enthusiasm, though inside she was quivering at the intensity of the questioning looks of all her closest friends.

"What kind of guests, babe?" Johna asked, pushing himself off the couch and stepping up next to her, unnerved by the anxiety she was giving visibly showing.

"Well - uh - y-you know how I've been ... emailing someone called 'S' a lot recently, right?"

"Yeah, you _never_ shut up about him," Kalia muttered, earning herself a slap on the back from the nearest friend and a light murmur and chuckle of approval from the rest.

"Well ... it, um, so turns out that he ... is ... coming to visit today! With a, um, friend of his," Miriath stuttered.

"That's fine, babe, but why are you so nervous about it?" Johna frowned, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "He didn't ... you know, threaten you, did he?"

"No! No," Miriath chuckled without humor. "He's ... um ... kinda a Sh-"

The doorbell rang.

"Oh! He's - I'll go get the -" Miriath presented the puzzled students a nervous grin and nearly ran to the dingy front room, where on the other side of the cracked glass, she could see two figures silhouetted, one tall, one short; one silver, one blonde; one Sephiroth, and the other his brother that he had somehow failed to mention before this day. Oh, he was _definitely_ going to pay for that one.

Wrapping her fingers tightly around the iron handle and trying to brace herself for the outrage her friends would no doubt be spitting the moment they saw who really lay on the other side of that door ... she pulled.

* * *

**Next: **Part Five, Chapter Three: Just a Little Bit._ The first true, unbiased meeting of Humans and ShinRa in hundreds of years. And stuff. That ... happens. Yeah. _


	31. Part Five, Chapter Three

**Title:** As Equals

**Rating: **M (for violence, language and sexual references)

**Author: **RedandBlackBeads

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the pertaining characters, themes or settings. The rights to the before mentioned belong to Square Enix.

**Author's Note: **Okay, this chapter finally answers a few of the clues I've left you guys along the way - little scenes that I _know_ annoyed and confused the heck out of you, and now I can finally round them off! For some reason, I am extremely hyper. Over the past week, I've also managed to figure out the entire plot for the next ten chapters. And it's in-depth too, so there should be little to nothing keeping me from updating over the next few weeks! Yay!

And in case you guys wanted to know ... someone happens to be turning seventeen on Wednesday! :D (wipes away happy tears) I'm so old...

**Warning: **There are a large number of unnamed OC's in this chapter. If they are named, they are important/recurring, and it would be wise to remember them. That is all.

**Music Listened to While Writing: **'Just a Little Bit' by Kids of '88 (NZ Music FTW) and a wide variety of 80's and 90's Techno music I found in my Dad's old CDs.

**Lyrics:** _You've got pressure dripping off your shoulders; let me be the one to relieve it _-Kids of '88

There is no such thing as Mako, the Lifestream, or Materia in this fanfiction.

* * *

**Part Five: SOLDIER**

**Chapter Three: Just a Little Bit**

The door was open for only a flash before a slim figure slipped through and hastily shut the door firmly behind them, shaking a fold of her long shirt from where the latch had caught it. The Human turned to face them, revealing a woman in her mid-twenties with long mousy brown hair and slightly blood-shot eyes wide behind wire-rimmed glasses - an oddity for Cloud, having never seen the likes of them before with no means of accessing glasses in Nibelheim, and ShinRa heritage more than making up for poor vision in the Tower.

"Sephiroth! You have no idea how great it is to finally meet you agai-" the woman paused, finally spotting Cloud who had, until then, managed to evade notice by shrinking behind his older, larger half brother and lowering his telling flowing eyes. Now, however, he was forced to step forward and attempt a charming smile, hoping his "boy-scout looks" (as Zack had once referred to them - once only, however, having never made that mistake again) would do all the work for him.

"Hello, miss," Cloud somehow managed to twist a grimace at the sickly-sweetness of his voice into a passable smile. "I'm Cloud, Sephiroth's little brother." Cloud tried to ignore Sephiroth's hitch in breathing and tiny snicker. _Tell a soul about this and you are so dead_. "Can we please come in?"

"Oh-! Sephiroth, you never told me he was so ... so ..."

"Perhaps if we took this inside?" Sephiroth offered, remembering suddenly that the woman - Miriath's - home was surrounded on all sides, literally, by homes, families, at least one of them no doubt a paid scout for ShinRa, one of the only ways a street rat, slum-dwelling Human could make money in a city like Midgar. He realized Cloud must had noticed this sooner than he had; thus the sudden turn around from the blonde's usual shy, cynical nature.

"Of course, of course, come in - it's not much but-" she paused upon sighting the shocked, almost scandalized faces of her friends. "Oh. I forgot about you guys-"

"Miriath!" the nearest Human yelled hoarsely, his eyes almost bulging as they took in the two glowing ShinRa. He leapt from his sagging couch, flying over the arm, snagging an umbrella and jumping forward until the tip of the metal-wire umbrella was only a few scant inches from Sephiroth's nose, and Miriath was shielded by his protectively-curled arm. "Get away! Run! They're here to-"

"They're here on _my_ invitation, Johna," Miriath paused, resting a too-thin hand on her trembling boyfriend's shoulder. "They mean us no harm."

"But - Miriath-" Johna lowered the umbrella unconscious - it was now level with Sephiroth's heart - as he turned his head to the pale woman. "-they're ShinRa!" he hissed, as if the low tone made any difference as to whether or not the two genetically-enhanced beings could hear them.

"So?" Miriath asked indignantly. "They came here to discuss something important with me-" Johna scoffed, and Miriath tightened her grip, her eyes pleadingly boring into what she could see of his own, "-something that could change our lives _and_ theirs for good. This is real, Johna, it isn't a game anymore."

And with that, she uncurled her fingers from Johna's ruffled shirt and smiled at Sephiroth, beckoning with her now free hand as she stepped around her boyfriend's protective stance. "Come in! Come in, we can - talk."

Sephiroth nodded in thanks and stepped into the dark room - only one wall light illuminating the otherwise empty foyer. A half-open door revealed another room where couches and chairs and pitted tables groaned under the weight of seven curious students Neither of the rooms had windows, something Cloud noticed immediately as he followed the tall, imposing SOLDIER, and it set his heart racing. Hearing this, Sephiroth glanced back at him, but before he could comment Miriath had shut the door soundly and slipped a rusted metal chain-lock into it's hold.

"Come on into here, you can meet the rest of the crew," Miriath offered in a forcibly light voice, pushing the half-open door and revealing the rest of the half-stunned, half-furious looks directed towards the two imposers. "I assume this is about the offer you extended to me-"

"What offer?" Jonah demanded suddenly, alarming neither Sephiroth nor Cloud for they had heard the tightening of his hold on the handle of the umbrella; Miriath, on the other hand, was so highly strung that she jumping several inches at her boyfriend's rough and unexpected question.

"Offer? Heh, well - um-"

"Why don't we tell you about it when we're all calm and sitting down?" Sephiroth offered in his deep, silky tone that somehow seemed soothing, yet threatening at the same time. Johna paled, dropped the umbrella, and stepped rather quickly past Sephiroth and into the lounge, though he paused momentarily beside Cloud to glance down at him in confusion.

After him went Miriath, then Sephiroth, who was directed to a crooked wooden stool between the two lumpy couches. He looked almost comical, sitting with his knees up around his shoulders and his huge sword, Masamune, sticking out both left and right; in this position, his silver hair actually touched the floor, even pooling a little with it's length.

Cloud was the last to enter the room, and he paused a moment to catch his bearings before almost-smiling at what he saw.

There was one, long fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling, dark navy wallpaper with cuts and peeling corners revealing plaster underneath, one waist-high bookcase filled with photographs rather than actual books, a variety of posters cello-taped to the walls, and a handful of glow-in-the-dark stars and planets stuck to the ceiling, among them an upside-down promotional sticker of the latest design in space-craft.

Cloud lowered his eyes when he caught a loud a squeal and had just enough time to see a great mound of _pink_ flying towards him before a voice screeched, "Oh-oh-oh he's so _cuute!_"

Cloud would forever claim against what happened next; it was instinct that made him do it, he would swear, he saw an enemy and he just - _just_. In any case, his tensely strung body and well-trained mind accessed the situation and intrusion on his personal space, and was swift to react; ducking under the hold, striking a few key nerves Tseng had taught him about and finally dealing a solid kick in the abdomen, sending his assailant flying into a centralized coffee table. It had only taken a few split seconds, but when the crash finally died down, Cloud blinked and avoided the incredulous looks of all in the room, focusing solely on the rumpled figure digging herself out from the small pile of cracked wood.

"Uhm ... sorry," Cloud said in a low voice, almost a whisper. "I'm a little tense. You shouldn't've rushed at me like that."

"About a decade Western Continent ... rural, not city dwelling, coupl'o years in ShinRa-Midgar, two-year interlude in Eastern Continent ... _somewhere_," a man in the corner immediately piped up, his clothes dark yet not quite gothic, his mouth apparently moving with a mind of it's own. "Lower Midgar influences in childhood, decreasing rapidly as time passes." He blinked. "Some life you've had, kid. But aren't all baby Shin-Ree's raised in the Tower?"

Cloud blinked at him, a little startled, when another voice picked up the commentary from his right.

"Don't mind him, he's doing a Masters in linguistics - he can't help it." The speaker was a woman with short, choppy blonde hair that revealed a inky tattoo of a blackbird in flight on the back and sides of her neck.

"Pard'n?" Cloud mumbled, blushing when he realized he had the undivided attention of all in the room, including the blazingly pink woman he had knocked down.

"Your accent," the bird-lady explained patiently. "He was analyzing the influences on speech, based on the company you keep. Western Rural, huh? How the hell were you out _there_ for a whole decade? You don't look a day over five."

"This is Cloud," Sephiroth announced belatedly, somehow managing to stretch his legs out enough to prop his elbows on them. "My brother."

"You do realize he looks nothing like you?" a large (and not in the tall, muscly way) man commented rudely. "Or is him being your 'brother' a weird ShinRa thing, what with you all having the same bitch of a mum?"

"My mother was _not_ a bitch!" Cloud growled, glaring at the man who spoke, his eyes lighting up as if somehow had flicked a switch within him. The man shrank back a little, yet even still managed to spit out,

"Well, she's a ShinRa 'aint she?"

"My Ma was just as Human as you are," Cloud retorted in a deadly-soft voice.

"Was?" Miriath asked softly. She was kneeling beside the small pile of broken wood and table, alongside the pink-woman, gathering the pieces and stacking them against one wall.

"Was," Cloud echoed in confirmation, crossing his arms and moving until he stood beside Sephiroth, leaning against his shoulder casually. Sephiroth acknowledged the movement by gently touching his shoulder briefly - not even having to stretch to reach it, something neither of them moved to comment on.

"What happened to her?" Miriath asked, trying to break the tangible tension in the small room.

"She ... ShinRa-" Cloud tried not to glance at Sephiroth, who had averted his face to the shoulder Cloud wasn't leaning against. "We lived in ..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't've pried, it's not my business," Miriath cut into the silence.

"No, it's alright," Cloud disagreed. "If this is going to work, we need to trust one another. And it'd prefer it if your friends trusted us as well." He took a deep breath, and kept his eyes fixed on a the corner of an environmental poster that was in danger of falling off. "About twenty five years ago, Ma enrolled to be a Parent, or a Carrier as we sometimes call them. Someone who was going to give ... birth to a ShinRa. She was chosen by Kadaj; the result is Sephiroth," he waved absently to his silent brother, who didn't acknowledge the movement. "She was sixteen." He paused for effect, then continued, knowing he had the full attention of everyone in the room, from Sephiroth - who already knew the story from beginning to end, yet still needed to hear it again - to Johna - who was listening with a faint look of disgust, hatred, and fear. "Then, about ten years later, she met Vincent Valentine, a high ranking Turk who was fifth in command at the time. He ended up drinking the bar dry, and next morning, she woke up next to him." Cloud glossed over his parents' lone night together, trying to force images from his prepubescent mind; it was the last thing he needed right now, not including the fact it was completely unnerving to imagine your _parents_ having sex. "She hid the pills that would have killed me, spat them back out, then ran to Nibelheim. The only-"

"-place in the world where the Satellite doesn't work," the linguistics-man finished for him, looking fascinated as he leant forward in his chair. "That's _brilliant!_"

"It is, isn't it?" Cloud smiled fondly for a brief moment, lost in his past. "We lived there for nine years. I grew up surrounded by Humans - I didn't even know I _was _ShinRa until I was six. But ... it couldn't last forever ... something happened. Me and one of my friends - a Human, just like you - got into trouble. My Presence flared up too brightly for the mountain to hide. ShinRa found us." Cloud closed his eyes against the room, and memories flashed before him. "Sephiroth came, along with his partners Angeal and Genesis. But the mountain hadn't had so many ShinRa on her slopes for so long ... she couldn't handle it."

"The eruption of '24 - you were _there?_" bird-lady's eyes widened in horror. "And you _survived?_"

"As far as I know, I was the only one who _did_," Cloud replied softly. "Ma died that day, same as Tif', and Johnny, and Gareth and-" Cloud's throat choked him, and he had to swallow hard before he could continue. "Anyway, Sephiroth brought me back here in his helicopter. They had to knock me out, I was fighting so hard. I didn't want to go."

Miriath stared at him from where she was kneeling, the pile of chipped and hanging ex-table forgotten. Bird-lady's mouth was hanging open, linguistics-man had his head tilted to one side in fascination, pink-woman had a tearful look about her, large-guy hummed thoughtfully as he resisted the urge to hack loudly, and Johna simply watched with a sense of detachment, as if what was being revealed didn't really apply to him.

"So ... I ended up here. And here I've been ever since." For some reason, Cloud left Reconditioning out; he didn't know why, just that he wasn't ready for a group of strangers, only two he actually knew the name of, to know his past so ... intimately. Sephiroth shifted beneath him knowingly, but Cloud didn't say anything; he couldn't.

"Yeah, well that's all nice and well, but that really doesn't explain what the fuck you're doing here," Johna announced rudely, earning himself a disapproving look from Miriath and a quick comment from the pink-woman of "shush, Johna, he's just a baby, you can't use words like that around him, you'll influence him!"

Cloud and Sephiroth both laughed shortly at this, Cloud adding,

"I'm older than I look."

"How old _are_ you?"

"Fourteen."

"Fourteen!" Miriath stared. "But ..." Gear whirred in Miriath's head; she wasn't the leader and accidental founder of a liberation movement club for nothing. "Sephiroth said you were the leader of the Cause!"

"The Cause?" bird-lady frowned. "Isn't that that ShinRa-run webpage shooting for Human-ShinRa equality?"

"That's the one," Sephiroth nodded. "Cloud's one of the administrators there."

"Woah," pink-woman stared at the tiny blonde in clear amazement. "But the Cause is, like, serious! And you're ..."

"Just because I'm a kid, doesn't mean I fool around like one. I learnt early on, if you want to get things done, you have to be taken seriously," Cloud told them in a soft voice. "I'm taking my graduation tests in a week and a half's time. Just because I'm small, don't underestimate me." He gave the pink-woman a pointed look, glancing at the ruins of he coffee table and then back up at her. She blushed, still aching from the force of his aggressive defense, and remained silent.

"I still don't get it. _Why_'re you here?" Johna demanded from where he was sitting on the arm of the couch furthest from Sephiroth and Cloud, the one shared by pink-woman, large-guy and bird-lady. On the other couch sat Miriath, another man about her age with similar looks to the pink-woman (save the pink) and a pair of twins, male, with matching woolen pull-on jumpers and plastic watches. The linguistics-man was still lurking in the corner, watching the proceedings curiously.

Miriath glanced at Johna lingeringly and began to speak when Sephiroth seemed disinclined to explain.

"Sephiroth ... has recently extended to me an invitation to appear on the Cause's website as a guest speaker to try and ... convince more ShinRa that Humans are actually _worth_ something," she paused at the light movements her friends made, muttering and humming and shaking their heads. "I told him I would." This earned her even more mutterings and hummings and shakings of heads, until she was just about ready to throttle them; the half-crazed ShinRa Hater inside her still needed an outlet for it's frustrations, and they were looking more and more desirable as her next target. "But Cloud here wanted to make sure I was the right kinda person to be let onto the site, so he came to check me out before I logged in."

"Bullshit."

"Johna! Little, impressionable ears over there!" pink-lady scolded him again, ignoring the furious look Cloud shot her.

"They're lying, they're ShinRas! What the fuck could they get out of ShinRa-Human equality? They're already living the high life, they don't need to _lower_ themselves to our level," his voice was bitter, spitting at them, and Miriath jumped up from her seat, her eyes flaring angrily.

"Johna! What is _with_ you? I've never seen you so-"

"Miriath, stay out of this babe, I don't want you to get-"

"Guys! This isn't the time to-"

"For fucks sake, would you three _shut up!_" Sephiroth growled at Miriath, Johna and large-man, all three having stood from their respective seats to speak loudly, rudely, in each other's faces, their conversation bordering on an argument. "We didn't come here to start fights, we came here to negotiate a possible truce between our two races! We came here to extend a hand of peace, not hate. For the first time in your _lives_, could you ... trust us?" Sephiroth's voice grew quieter and softer as he drew on, until he was speaking slowly and peacefully, with a hint of threat and danger hidden in his deep tones. As his voice lowered and calmed, so did the Humans around him, the SOLDIER somehow manipulating their emotions with his own, a skill Cloud envied deeply. Sephiroth was a born leader; for all he was abruptly cold and often lacking in social situations, he sure knew how to manage people best, far better than Cloud could in any case.

"Why _should_ we trust you?" Johna demanded rudely, glaring at the elder ShinRa. "What reason could you _possibly have_ for this?"

"Because I've seen first hand what ShinRa has done to your people," Cloud replied quietly, still leaning against his brother's shoulder comfortably. "I was raised as a Human for nine years, I was friends with Humans, and I ... on the inside, I might as well _be_ a Human. This - person you see, it's only a mask. I had to learn real quick how to at least _pretend_ to be a ShinRa, but it's not who I really am. The person I really am, walks, talks, thinks, _acts_ like a Human. _Loves_ like a Human. And thats something the other ShinRa's just can't understand." Cloud paused. "I loved Ma, I still do ... and it really hurts me to see and live in a world where people like my mother have to live in fear from people like her own son. I want the rest of them to see that, too. But ... it could never happen unless you guys _want_ it to." He looked up at them hopefully. "So - please? Just let it happen. Go with it. Don't fight us, please - we're only trying to help all of us in the end."

Johna looked first at Miriath, then pink-woman, then bird-lady, then in progression across the whole room, meeting the eyes of each and every single Human and ShinRa sitting there, before he sighed and muttered half-heartedly,

"Do I really have a choice when the ShinRa poster boy looks like a fucking boy scout?"

Cloud resisted the urge to kick him; as satisfying as it would be, such an action would be directly counterproductive to his purpose in Lower Midgar, and he wasn't about to ruin everything over something Zack had already claimed as a given fact.

* * *

The walk back to the Tower was slower, leisurely as opposed to purposeful, and when they hit Upper Midgar and the open sky above them, Cloud sighed, and slowed his pace even further.

"That was ... interesting," he admitted as they walked along the footpath, watching cars and buses and taxis whirl past.

"Chaotic, perhaps," Sephiroth contradicted him. "Are all Humans like that, or is Midgar just ... different?"

"No, I'm pretty sure the guys back in Nibelheim were the same," Cloud laughed shortly. "We had some pretty interesting conversations there, too." He kicked at a stone of concrete chipped off the curb and watched as it scattered down the path. There was no grass in Midgar, no trees, no wildlife or nature or any kind; just concrete and metal and neon lights that burned his eyes as they switched on, dusk fast approaching. "We should be heading back."

"We will," Sephiroth told him, "but there's somewhere I want to take you first."

* * *

"This is ... the edge of the Plate?" Cloud stared at the sudden drop at the end of the abandoned road, a small line of orange plastic cones decorating the otherwise unprotected, lethal fall. "I thought there would at least be ... a fence or - something."

"ShinRa rarely come out to these parts of Midgar," Sephiroth explained as they approached the cones, stepping between them with ridiculous ease; they weren't even bolted down. "And if they _did_, they would likely have the bone structure and healing abilities to survive such a fall."

"That would explain it ..." Cloud commented without thinking. "I've always wondered why I didn't die."

"Die?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"Oh," Cloud looked up at him and back away quickly, hiding his face even though he wasn't blushing. "It's - well, the day you found me was because we kinda fell off a cliff on the edge of a ravine and-"

"How tall was it?"

Cloud paused to think.

"Well, probably about ten, maybe fifteen stories of the Tower? A bit more?"

Sephiroth was silent for a long moment, his face impassive, before suddenly bursting out,

"Cloud, you were _nine years old_ when that happened!"

" ... but you just said ShinRa had the bone structure and healing abilities to survive falls like that?"

"I meant a _full grown_ ShinRa. A nine-year old with no training whatsoever, _and_ in a region where Presence is naturally suppressed ... should never have lived a fall like that."

Cloud gave a tired, short chuckle.

"I'm just Mr Impossible, aren't I?"

"As always, you exceed everyone's expectations, Cloud," Sephiroth agreed in his own, round-about way. Cloud smiled at him briefly, though it soon faded when he looked down, past the empty space his toes were perched on. He could see the shadow cast by the Plate, long and endless in the dusk; he could see houses, buildings, gardens and shops below, a whole other world. Humans walking to and fro, he could even hear them if he strained. These Humans lived on the fringe of Midgar, and in Lower Midgar, this was one of the best places to live; you were granted even just a few hours sunlight, more than anyone else in Lower Midgar saw in their lives. At sunrise, and sun set, on certain days of the year - it was even rumored the sun could be seen from the heart of Lower Midgar, and that Humans would gather in hundreds, thousands, just to see it. Yes, Cloud's smile was well gone by now.

"Everything's changed so much," Cloud sighed. "Five years ago seems so far away ... but I can still remember it like it was just last week."

"Five years ago, I didn't even know you existed. I didn't know my mother, I was as loyal to ShinRa superiority as any other high-ranking Council member, I was well on the way to greatness ... in our people's eyes, that is." Sephiroth folded his arms with a sigh.

"It didn't used to be this easy to talk to you. It feels like we've been ... brothers, forever," Cloud said in his smallest voice yet. "Though we only started talking again this morning."

"It was the same for Nanaki, wasn't it? As I recall, you barely knew him an hour before you were following him around like you were attached at the ... hip ..." Sephiroth looked down at Cloud, saw the brief sorrow that flooded the young blonde, and immediately regretting bringing up the absent brother, though he had no blood relation to Sephiroth himself.

"We spent barely any time together," Cloud whispered. "I mean, we talked a lot, and I felt better around him than anyone else ... but it just wasn't ... he calmed me down, in those first few weeks I was ... acting strange, but he kept me grounded! He kept me sane. And then - I woke up one night, and I looked for him, only to be told that he was ... de ..."

Sephiroth looked down at him in surprise.

"Dead? But Cloud, Nanaki isn't dead!"

Cloud's eyes snapped from their haze and locked onto Sephiroth's own green, feline pair. "What."

"Nanaki isn't dead. When someone is removed from the Tower, they aren't killed; if word got out, our reputation would be ruined even more than it already is, Gaia would have an excuse to cut off the contract with us, everything would be lost. No, people that are expelled from the Tower are-" Sephiroth halted mid sentence.

"Yes?" Cloud asked eagerly, or as eagerly as he could with a face as dangerously still as it was.

Sephiroth took a deep, calming breath.

"I believe you are ... familiar with the effect Beacon has on Humans?"

* * *

"Leo! Wait up!"

A dark-haired man with burning golden eyes stilled from where he had been slowly pacing the low wooden corridor that ran alongside a central building, and had broad, glassless windows opening into a beautiful courtyard of grass and blossoms and a shallow, gently rippling pond.

"Yes, Tifa?" Leo turned, tilting his head politely at the newly-teenaged girl who had appointed herself his keeper sometime in the last three years he had known her.

"I wanted to ... talk," Tifa said in her native tongue, her mother's tongue, tucking a strand of long, thick black hair behind her ear as she moved in beside Leo, her steps slowing to match his.

"Then talk."

Tifa opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Finally, she looked up at Leo, her eyes taking in the carefully neutral expression he bore, and blurted,

"Are you okay?"

Leo stopped walking, and Tifa followed suit almost simultaneously.

"Why are you asking?" Leo's voice was soft, but deadly; a contradiction to the raging anger within all who knew him had seen, and experienced the brunt of at some time or another.

"It's today isn't it?"

"What is?"

"The ... the anniversary."

Leo was silent, staring at Tifa with those unnervingly golden eyes, with no sign of acceptance or dismissal of her statement.

"Of the day the Princess found you-"

"I am _aware_ of ... of what today is, Tifa," Leo finally spoke over her, looking away as if in shame. "I am perfectly aware of what it should mean to me."

Tifa sighed and looked briefly at the wooden paneled floor, before raising her head and meeting his eyes squarely.

"Leo ... I know you don't remember any of your past life-" Leo huffed in dry amusement, and Tifa had to force herself to continue, "-but I just want you to know ... we're here for you, we all are. We don't care that you don't know who you were, we don't care that _we_ don't know who you were. We're family. And family looks after one another." Tifa sighed, and continued, even though every nerve and cell in her body was screaming for her to stop. "I know you wonder what it was that you did to deserve what ShinRa have done to you ... but somehow, I _know_ it was nothing wrong. I know you fear constantly that you have committed sins in your past that you can't even remember, but I _know_ that isn't true! You're a good, kind person Leo, not even what ShinRa did to you could change that."

"How can you be certain, that I did not deserve what they did to me?" Leo asked in a low voice, almost a growl in quality. Harsh; filled with pain, pain he had refused to acknowledge since learning what those bright-eyed bastards had done to him.

"Because I can see who you are, and not a thousand years of Beacon could change that."

Leo's breath quickened, until he was fighting to keep himself still and unmoving.

"But then, if I was faultless and I did nothing _wrong_-" his voice cracked slightly as he began to tremble and shudder, "-they have _ruined_ me for _nothing!_ They - they did this to me for _no reason_. This is the dilemma I am _constantly _faced with, don't you see, Tifa? I have to have done something wrong, I have to have sinned or killed or - or done something unforgivable, because-" a tear rolled down his cheek, "-because why else would _they_ do something so unforgivable in return?"

"Because they're monsters!"

"No!" Leo roared, turning and cracking his clenched fist against a wooden rail that separated the corridor from the tranquil garden on the other side. His voice fell to a pained whisper as he drew his now bloody fist from the splinters and cracks in the wood. "I cannot believe that." He drew in a trembling breath. "I won't."

Against his will, a vision came to him, a vision he had held close to his heart ever since the first day he could remember, the day he had been found - a grown man - on the shores of Wutia. This vision he knew was of this past life, the life he had never known, the life ShinRa had ripped from him forever. And of this vision, he could remember only one thing; blue eyes, piercing and bright and innocent and ... ShinRa.

Tifa blinked back her own tears, but did not move, refused to face the man who was on the brink of self-destruction.

" ... I know."

And then blue, piercing, bright, innocent, _ShinRa_ eyes, filled her broken mind too.

* * *

**Next: **Part Five, Chapter Four: Savior. _With exams and graduation growing ever closer, tension between Zack and Cloud rises. _


End file.
